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A little bit of background first. I was not a virgin, was not molested, and did not “know my whole life” that I was gay. I had many heterosexual relationships, had sex with women regularly and enjoyed it when I did. I was not homophobic but was in fact very comfortable being gay adjacent. As a kid when my family went to the Castro area in San Francisco I was fascinated by the gay culture and curious about their attraction to each other. I couldn’t take my eyes off of men kissing when I saw it. In college I was an art major and was very comfortable studying anatomy, drawing male nudes and studying Greek and Roman statues. I loved the classic muscular physiques, without being cartoonish, like modern bodybuilding. After college I even did some anatomy modeling myself, having a very muscular body, but I used a posing strap (G-string), in art classes and was nude for private drawing sessions. I had been hit on by gay guys many times and found it flattering, never offensive, but I never took any men up on their offers. I had played with my asshole a few times, but only in the context of what it would be like in a straight sex session. One time I used my girlfriend’s vibrator on my ass when she was out of town. I found the sensation absolutely euphoric and envied gay guys for being so in touch with this wonderful source of pleasure. I wasn’t able to insert the vibrator very far and I thought “I could never be gay because my asshole is too tight”. I provide this background so you understand how dramatic the change was that I made in one day, and no matter how much resistance I put up, it was overcome by a tsunami of desire to be passionately, deeply, lustfully fucked and dominated by a man.

I was working as a personal trainer at a gym at the time this happened. I had several clients, gay, straight, men, women, and had a reputation as a guy who knew what he was doing and had the body to back it up. Like I said, I had done modeling that required a muscular physique, also some runway and magazine work. I was good looking with a great body but I wasn’t going to make a living off of just that. A girlfriend had talked me into sending photos to a female-oriented centerfold magazine, I have a nice big cock, and they wanted me to come to LA but I chickened out. One of my clients, Scott, was also a very good friend of mine outside the gym. I never thought of him in a sexual way, but he brought me to several gay events, along with his partner. I always felt completely comfortable at these parties, costume and otherwise, because I like showing off my body, enjoy the attention I get, and never felt my masculinity threatened. “I’m comfortable enough with my sexuality that I can wear a pink shirt”, I used to say. Scott invited me to a pool party at a gay couple’s house that he was house sitting at. He said it would be mixed but mostly gay guys attending. He said he wanted to show me off a little to his friends. I said yes since his desire to be associated with me aligned with my desire to be ogled. Maybe I would meet a hot woman there.

The day before the party I finished my workout and went to the tanning bed to add some color. I knew how obsessed gay guys were with tans and I didn’t want to offend anyone with my paleness. I also shaved my cock and balls because the swim suit I was going to be wearing was my posing strap, basically a grocery sack for my cock and balls, and I didn’t want any bushy pubes ruining the look. When I finished shaving, I left a pencil- thin landing strip, I looked at my self in the mirror and got an instant hard on. Damn, I’d fuck me if I were gay, I thought.

When I arrived at the party, dressed in shorts and a polo shirt, Scott pulled me aside as soon as I stepped into the house, and said that at some point there might be a clothing-optional for the rest of the party announcement. He was trying to be sensitive to any discomfort I might feel at a party full of naked gay men. I said I would be fine with it. He told me to jump into my swim suit and come out to the pool to meet everyone. I went to a bedroom and stripped down to my G-string suit. I checked the mirror and adjusted the sack to fully contain my package, and my cock swelled slightly, pulling the narrow strip of material covering my anus tight. That’s going to chafe my asshole if my cock gets any harder, I thought; be sure not to get a hard on. As I stepped out onto the pool deck and looked around I realized that mine was the skimpiest suit there. Most guys were wearing Speedos, boy-shorts, etc., but none of them had their ass cheeks out like I did. “Whoa, dressed to impress I see”, Scott said. “Yeah, well I thought gay guys like to flaunt their goods so figured there’d be more guys dressed like me here. Oh well”, I replied. Scott walked me around the pool area, introducing me to everyone. People were lounging on chaises, laying on towels on the grass, and sitting on the edge of the pool. I had only met a few of the people before, members of the gym where I worked. Only one woman, the wife of another guy. Not hot. The guys were a mix of attractiveness - I was assessing them as a fitness pro and appreciator of anatomical beauty. Of the thirty or so people there, five guys were in very good shape, and very handsome. They represented their culture (gay) well. Scott meandered me around the pool like a show pony, making turns to say one more thing, that caused me to be turned 360 degrees for all aspects to be inspected. The reactions of the guests were mostly predictable: gay guys would look me up and down and smile approvingly, then whisper to their nearby friends. The straight people just nodded and tried to not look at my brightly displayed groin. One guy, Ted, lifted his sunglasses when Scott said his name. Ted was laid out on a beach chaise on a white towel. His body was perfect by Roman and Greek statuary standards. Very muscular arms, pecs in slabbed squares, eight-pack abs, massive thighs and contoured calves. But unlike the tiny button of a penis on most steroid-built bodybuilders, his square-cut boy shorts clung to the outline of a very generous sausage and ample balls. I had to silently give it to him; he was the epitome of a beautiful man, gay or otherwise. I felt a little intimidated. Scott walked away after the introduction and I stood over Ted, admiring his beautiful tan body, chiseled facial features and gently wavy black hair. He looked to be Italian or Mediterranean. He didn’t have a single flaw that I could see. “Hey Darren”, he snapped me from my daydream. I realized I had been staring at him while all those thoughts were going through my mind. His eyes slowly left mine and followed my body down to my cock. He stopped there and looked back at my eyes, and smiled approvingly. I smiled back, approvingly. This kind of undressing with the eyes attention was a win for me, coming from an Adonis like him. I liked him wanting me, and I guess I wanted to keep it going. “Want a drink?” I asked. I had no idea what or where the drinks were but for some reason I wanted to serve him. “That’d be great, white wine”, he said. As I sauntered toward the house to find the white wine I inexplicably bent over to pick up a pebble on the deck and toss it away before anyone stepped on it bare foot. I bent over from the waist to give Ted a good deep look at my virgin asshole barely covered by a strip of spandex. I looked back over my shoulder and sure enough, Ted had his sunglasses propped up on top of his head and was up on one elbow to watch my ass as I walked away. I smiled at him and he smiled back sheepishly. “I love getting these guys worked up” I thought. I returned with his white wine and one for myself. His eyes were at the level of my cock and he took his time looking up to my face to thank me. I loved the flirtation, even though it wasn’t going anywhere. Ted then dropped his legs off each side of the lounge and adjusted his package beneath the clinging nylon fabric. His cock had swollen slightly and I could clearly see the outline of his dick head, a magnificent flesh-piercing truffle. Now it was my turn to feel in awe. “Touché” I thought. My G-string started to pull tighter in my ass crack and I realized that My cock was swelling slightly. What was it about this situation that was making me flush and my heart race? I’m not gay. I’m as straight as they come. And yet I feel like I am crushing on this guy and I wouldn’t object to kissing him and feeling his body. We made small talk but everything seemed like a sexual innuendo. I couldn’t turn off the flirting, as much as I tried. As we talked, two other things were happening: I was assessing the source of my feelings, why was my body reacting this way when my mind knows I’m straight?; and I was watching droplets of sweat as they ran in rivulets down Ted’s smooth beefy pecs, down the mogul run of his abs, and disappeared into the edge of his swimsuit riding just above his pubic ridge. These two opposing forces were confounding me. One felt very logical: I’m straight; the other felt really, really good: I want to be the object of a gay sexual pleasure cruise.

I hadn’t noticed but the couples and straight people, other than me, had drifted away and left the party already. Maybe Scott had warned them what was coming next, and maybe they didn’t feel as comfortable with it as I did. Scott announced, “This is it guys, clothing is now optional!”, to which a loud cheer went up from the 15 or so remaining men. Ted looked into my eyes and stood up. Without taking his eyes off mine, he hooked his thumbs into the top of his waist band and pulled his trunks down to his thighs. His beautiful swollen, semi-hard cock, which had been laying sideways when he was laying down, now rolled off his abdomen and fell forward, like a just cut tree in the forest. It fell and stopped at a 45 degree angle from his body, heavy, swelling with blood. He was taunting me with his body and cock, Now I secretly, passionately wanted to devour him, but my head was trying to remind me that’s not possible, because I’m not gay. The material running between my ass cheeks was pulling tighter, as my cock started to engorge. “You’re not going to join us?”, Ted said waving toward all the men who were now sans swimsuits, or any clothing. I stood up, knowing he was challenging my conviction, and because I had to prove it to myself as well. I did it all at once, pulling my trunks down to my ankles and stood back up. My cock jumped when it was released from the posing strap. I didn’t realize how swollen it was and now it was inching away from my body. This was a problem: getting hard at the sight of these men would mean I’m gay, or at least on my way. I needed to hide my erection so I turned sideways to Ted. That just made it worse because he could see it continuing to crank higher, and bigger, in profile. I looked for some way to hide my hardening cock and I noticed three guys splashing in the shallow end of the pool. I said to Ted, “ I need to cool off” and I jumped into the pool. My blood filled cock felt as big and obvious as a rescue torpedo. The three men in the water were all very handsome and well built, eye candy for sure. One of them asked me if I would join them for a chicken fight in the pool, to make the number of players even. If I stood up completely my rising cock would be visible for all to see, which would reveal me to all the men and I did not want that, but I agreed because I needed an excuse to stay in the pool, splashing around. I offered to be the bottom for my teammate, Dylan, and I swam under water between his legs. He had a sprinter’s thighs and ass, all muscle, magnificently sculpted. His pubic region was shaved bare, as were all the gay men at the party. At least I had called that one right. His cock was well veined and had a doorknob sized head. Not grotesque, just right for his soda can sized shaft. His full balls were bobbing in the current over my head as I swam between his legs and lifted my shoulders to meet his ass muscles, his rectum at the nape of my neck. I wrapped my arms around his lower legs and lifted him out of the water. As the water ran off us I turned my head and found there was his divine cock, laying against my jaw. This was the closest I had ever been to another man’s cock. It felt full and fleshy against my neck and chin. I quickly turned back and in the process my lips grazed the very ample head of his penis. I felt like bridges were being crossed at a pace that I couldn’t control. This brush with hiss cock head wasn’t helping me to calm my own cock down. Quite the opposite. Blood was rushing everywhere in my body and I felt hot despite being in the pool. But it was rushing especially to my cock and I felt my own cock helmet break the surface of the water. I started wrestling with the other team immediately to distract them from my shameful hard on. As we laughed and wrestled I intentionally over exerted myself to try and get the blood away from my cock. We fell sideways and Dylan slipped around my neck and off my shoulders, with his ankles still resting on my trapezius muscles. He was floating on his back, facing me, but more significantly his previously relaxed soda can-sized cock was growing into a pound sized package of spaghetti noodles, with all of the attendant ridges and girders. I told Dylan and the other two guys, Phillip and Ray, that I had to get out and use the bathroom. I clutched a beach towel to my crotch to hide my erect cock and waddled to the house.

The house was gorgeous and I found the master bathroom. The house belong to a gay couple, doctors, and they obviously had exquisite taste. The master bed was an ocean of soft black sheets, comforter and pillows. I wondered how many asses had been fucked and cocks sucked on that bed. I envied gay guys for their man to man relationships. I started to question whether my sexuality was as clear as I thought it was. Were there signals all along? Was my curiosity and fascination with gay culture really a desire to be part of it? On paper I was a perfect candidate for a happy gay man. I was an art major, worked in a gym and loved the male anatomy, and worked on my own body to make it essentially the pinnacle of attraction to gay men. After all, most women didn’t really care about the muscles. This was a moment, an opportunity to test my sexual identity. I was sure my arousal was a fluke and I was willing to bet my pride on it. It would be quite embarrassing if I was introduced at the beginning of the party as Scott’s straight friend, which he emphasized to each guest, worried that I might feel objectified I guess, and then suddenly be aroused by men to want to fuck one of their asses, or worse, want them to fuck mine. I decided I would let my body tell me what I wanted. My head could be tricked. I would go back out there, now that my cock was calm and soft again, see if my theory was correct that I would remain flaccid throughout the rest of the party. I looked in the mirror again and admired my stunning body. Now I was naked for all to see, shaved cock, balls and ass, brimming with virility and masculinity. I turned and checked my look from behind. It was a beautiful ass, if I do say so myself. I bent over and looked at my asshole. It’s a rosebud of skin folds leading to a tunnel of love. Like I said, I’d love to fuck me, if I could. Looking at my love hole made me think something was missing from this challenge. I found a big jar of sex lube in the bathroom and I palmed a large puddle of it and massaged it into my sphincter. At first my hole was tight but as soon as I ran a finger inside my hole it started to dilate. I knew this reaction about myself when I had played with my ass in the past. Now my waiting love hole was dilated and lubed. Not that I would need it but it only seemed fair to fully present both arguments for and against my latent homosexuality.

I headed back out to the pool, determined to keep my cock calm and flaccid. As soon as I got outside I saw Ted again. He smiled when he saw me and said “Where’d you run off to? I was afraid you left the party”. I immediately felt like I wanted to serve him again and I grabbed a bottle of wine and two glasses and went to him. “Can I pour you some wine?”, I asked. “Why did I sound like I was his waiter and not his equal?”, I asked myself. I handed him a glass of wine as my eyes feasted on his body, that smile, that cock. My balls started to tighten and my cock started getting heavy. Uh-oh, it was starting again. There would be no way to hide a hard on this time and no way to explain it away as anything but a real sexual attraction to a man! I was mortified, but my cock kept growing. I grabbed a towel to spread on a chaise next to Ted’s and I knelt on edge of the lounge and leaned forward to lay out the towel. In that position on all fours, my ass was raised in the air and my head was down. I didn’t realize or intend for it to happen but that lube in and around my love hole was glistening in the sun, highlighting and welcoming my virgin man cunt. Ted’s cock immediately began to get hard. I looked over my shoulder at him and his cock was rising like a battleship cannon positioning for attack. I saw his beautiful ballooning cock head and stiffening shaft and I felt a hot rush in my face and ears. My cock was stiffening now unlike any time in my past. I was more turned on than I had ever been with a woman. The thought of Ted taking me consumed me. My cock felt so hard and kept getting harder that I thought it might rupture. Ted’s cock was fully erect now. It had thick veins on the sides and a gentle upward curve to it. I looked down and a ribbon of pre cum extended from my cock to the towel below me. What was going on here? This was a bridge that I could not un-cross. This would definitely make me gay, at least sexually. I know some straight guys claim they have gay sex but they’re still straight and fuck their wives. The way I was feeling now I didn’t care if I ever saw pussy again. I rolled over and faced Ted as he moved closer. My huge erection, with pre cum running down the sides like chocolate sauce on a sundae, was out there for all to see. What would this mean for my reputation? My whole life would be turned upside down. I didn’t care. I had to taste Ted’s massive cock, now. I could hear conversations in the background, someone said, “But I thought Scott said he was straight “. I felt badly for Scott; all the times he would have enjoyed this , but we were just platonic friends. Ted brought his cock head right to my lips. Now his cock was oozing pre cum and I could feel it moistening my lips. I opened my mouth wide, stuck my tongue out under his cock, and slowly wrapped my fingers around the thick base. His skin was silky smooth and his shaft was surprisingly firm. This was the first time I had ever touched another man’s cock. A drop of his lube fell onto my tongue and I instinctively raised my tongue to catch it. My tongue was now on the underside of his cock and Ted let out a quiet gasp. I felt my own cock lube puddling at the base of my cock. I closed my mouth on Ted’s cock and took several long sucks to get the feel for it. The deed was done. This was definitely a gay thing to do. I was more thrilled with each successive stroke. I lingered and focused on the area under the head of Ted’s cock where I know it’s very sensitive on my cock. He said, “For a straight guy you sure are an enthusiastic natural at sucking cock.” I didn’t answer, I just kept stroking, sucking, and massaging his balls and the part of his shaft that I couldn’t get in my mouth. I looked up at Ted and saw he had a dreamy expression and he kept panting as I engulfed his cock with my mouth. I knew right then that I wanted to satisfy him so deeply, that I wanted to him to shoot his cum load in my mouth. I wanted to swallow all of it. I looked up again and I saw him motion to someone behind me. It was Dylan. I was so engrossed in pleasing Ted that I didn’t notice that all the rest of the guys at the party had gathered around us now and we’re watching. I could see some of them jerking off while they watched. That excited me even more. I hoped they’d be able to shoot their loads on me. I had gone from thinking I was truly straight at the beginning of this party to only caring about consuming as much cock and cum as I could. Dylan was behind me and he lifted my hips up to his waist level. I got off the chaise so I could stay at that level and brace myself for what I hoped was coming next. It was. Dylan’s soda can-sized cock and doorknob head were fully erect. His pre cum was drizzling my ass crack. Man was I glad I decided to pre lube my man cunt. He slid his cock up and down the channel of my ass. I could feel my hole dilating. It would still be a challenge. But I was up for the challenge. Dylan pointed his shaft slightly down so that his head was docked at the entrance to my sphincter. He pushed his head part way in. I felt a tight stretch, but it wasn’t as painful as I had heard it described. He kept the pressure on my asshole while my hole adjusted. He then let the pressure off slightly and that was enough for my rectum to swallow the head of Dylan’s cock. He was in. He then pushed his shaft slowly into me, stopping momentarily when he encountered resistance, then advancing further. This kept going until I felt his balls against mine. His cock was all the way in me! I was thrilled. I just wanted Dylan to love my fuck hole and fill me with his jism. No way would I have allowed him to use a condom. The intimacy that I was looking for required them to fill me with their cock sauce, unencumbered. Each time Dylan slid his cock in I reached between my legs and brushed his tight balls. I realized that Ted was getting close to coming; his cock swelled even bigger and his panting had gotten louder and faster. He was moaning and I could taste more mad more pre cum as his cum volcano was getting ready to erupt. He grabbed the back of my head and pulled it toward his cock, gagging me in the process. I was breathing through my nose , allowing his cock to fill mouth completely. Suddenly his cock started to pulse and I felt sheaths of cum pump into my mouth. I swallowed each squirt as he unloaded what seemed like cups of cum. Now Dylan was close too. He said, “You have such a tight gorgeous fuck hole, I can’t hold off anymore”. With that he pulled my hips and buried his cock completely in my ass. I have never felt so dominated, and utterly useless other than the pure pleasure of these super masculine men. And I couldn’t think of any feeling I’d rather have. Dylan’s cock was pulsing as he squirted his last load into me. Dylan eased his cock out of my ass and my sphincter resumed it’s former size. Ted handed me a glass of wine and said, “Here’s a chaser. Ready for more play?” Behind Ted, Philip had a raging hard on. He was stroking his baguette-sized cock with both hands. I motioned him forward so I could suck his cock. He had a big pink mushroom dick head and cable-like veins along his shaft. I desperately wanted to get that man flesh in my mouth. Ray had already taken Dylan’s place behind me, but he wanted to change positions. Ray sat on a bench and guided me to straddle his fully erect cock. His cock was big, awesome big. I was concerned that I might not be able to take it. His cock also had a slight downward bend, lack a huge oak tree branch that sags under its own weight. I lowered myself to the point where his love arrowhead was at the entrance to my man cunt. As my sphincter slowly swallowed his head, then slowly sank on his shaft, I ended up resting on his lap. Ray then grabbed my ass cheeks, one in each hand, and alternately raised and lowered me, impaling my ass on his love spear. I could feel his cock bottoming out at my colon. Phillip jockeyed for the right position to keep his cock in my mouth. When he found the right parameters he grabbed me by the back of the head and started fucking my mouth. Sometimes he went too deep and caused me to gag, which turned him on even more. And me too. I had one man forcefully fucking my ass as deep as possible and one forcefully pushing the limits on fucking my mouth. I couldn’t have been more thrilled. I was basically a passenger as these virile, super masculine men used me to provide pleasure for themselves. I was in heaven. Ray started to stroke my semi-hard cock but I moved him away. I didn’t want to come. I only wanted to pleasure these men. Ray’s angled cock was rubbing along my prostate with each stroke and cum was dribbling from my cock and puddling on his washboard abs. Ray started to quiver and I knew his cum volcano was near. Philip was panting and moaning. Now his panting was getting faster and I knew a fresh hot load of jism was on its way to my mouth. Ray grabbed my ass cheeks even tighter and as he slid me down his meat shaft one last time, his cock started to pulse as his balls pumped my ass full of his cum. Philip erupted at the same time, pulling my head onto his cock and launching his load, salvo after salvo, into the back of my throat. I had to keep swallowing the cum in order to breathe. I had two of the most masculine men with two of the most prized cocks I have ever seen, force every drop of man juice from their balls into my two most personal orifices, at the same time, and I’ve never been happier or more satisfied. As I unimpaired myself from Ray’s cock, a fresh rivulet of cum ran out of my asshole, down my balls and onto Ray’s beautiful thighs. While I was getting turned out, from stud ladykiller straight arrow, into the biggest cum-pig bitch, 180 degree switch, the rest of the guys at the party were jerking themselves and each other off. Two guys launched their loads on my face. I now had cum running out of my man cunt, down my chin and neck from the torrent from Philip, and down my face from the other guys.

This was by far the greatest sex and the greatest day I ever had. The only time I actually came is when I went home and jerked off while reliving the whole experience. You might ask if I have any regrets. Yes, that I didn’t submit to cocks, men’s asses, their muscles, their masculinity and their cum, long before this day