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First, this story isn't conventional. There's parts that aren't PC, aren't accepted as safe or normal or ok in normal circumstances. But I want to tell it. The story is mine... and 100% true.

I'm straight. Always have been, always will be... if anyone ever asks. But other men's private areas always grabbed my attention. I'm sure we all know the feeling, but eventually I came to the point I wanted to be used. I wanted to be another man's pleasure. To make him cum and get my joy later from knowing I satisfied him.

Anyway, I was too much of a coward to do anything about it until my 20s. At this point, I had developed a drug problem with opiates. I had to move back in with my dad (as I had no money), who eventually kicked me out for continuing to use drugs. I moved in with my friend, who was gay... let's call him Tony. A few nights I tried to show I wanted him, slowly building up the courage to show I wanted him. Finally one day, being high and drunk, we went to a gay bar. My girlfriend came with me, who I still brag I fucked at a gay bar haha. But that night, Tony made his move. It's all blurry, but we had our dicks out, he rubbed them together, then later in his room and him grabbing a pillow to place under me to mount me higher. He slowly slid his dick inside me. I was too drunk, and that defaulted me to my guard to ask him to stop. And that was it.

Maybe 3 months later while horny, I contacted a stranger on Craigslist. He came over, for some reason it wasn't awkward nor was I nervous, and I got to my knees between his legs and sucked all I could on his cock. It was over too fast. I made a man cum, but needed more to fulfill my increasingly growing desires.

As time went on, my drug problem became worse. I was living in a drug house with a friend in the hood. I made friends with a black dealer/pimp. Since I still had a car, I'd drive him and his girls around to get a free fix. At first he gave me a lot of drugs, but that dwindled down. When not driving, we would hangout at his house with his main girl, let's call Sasha. When he was bored, he would have her suck his dick, often right infront of me. Finally one day, while we were all drunk, he asked me if I wanted more drugs. Hell yea, obviously! While he was spooning Sasha, he pulled out his cock.

I knew what to do right away. No hesitation. I crawled up the couch and started going at it. This went on for weeks, almost everyday. And as much as I wanted the drugs... in the back of my head I wanted him! I'd try extra hard to make him feel good... better than Sasha! His moaning gave me the clues that I was on the right track. One day he had his buddies over, and I'll never forget. He just snapped his fingers, motioned with his eyes toward his cock, and I came and started sucking him. Apparently it made him look good infront of his friends, having a white boy blow him at his command, but I didn't care. The hottest times I remember was when both Sasha and I shared his cock. It was our job to please him... he was our man, our guide in life.

Eventually I left, went to rehab, and it's been 8 years since I've been clean of drugs. And I'd never trade it. But... I still jerk off to Tony, his real thick cock, and the way he treated me. I recall begging him to fuck me. It was my lowest, yet highest point in my life. He was banging Sasha, and I just had to watch. Eventually it came out my mouth... "Tony fuck me! Please give me that dick!" It never happened though. Just one more moment I'll always dream about.