6 Months

Hello, my name is Arthur and this story is fictional. If something has happened to any of you similar, it’s coincidence. I apologize to anyone if this hurts you.

John moaned. Alex gently touched his cock, teasing it, making it jump just from the gentle touch. John wanted Alex to touch his private places; he wanted Alex’s attention so badly. He leaned in and kissed Alex softly, while spreading his legs, making it easier for Alex to access his crotch. Alex broke the kiss and gave a sly smile, making it noticeable he got the hint.

Alex kissed John’s neck, biting it gently, making John close his eyes and whisper Alex’s name. Slowly, Alex went lower, kissing his chest, playing with nipples, using his tongue, circling around John’s aroused, hard nipples. John gave another moan. Alex gave another smile. He knew he was doing it all right. He kept going lower until he was where John wanted him to be – his cock. Alex licked the tip – once, twice and third, making it especially slow and teasing. John moaned out loud.

Suddenly, scene changed. Everything became fog-like. John was still naked. He shuddered from sudden cold fog, surrounding his hot, aroused body. It cooled him off way too fast. His body gave a protest shiver – it needed warmth.
- ‘Alex? Alex, where are you?’ John shouted. No response. He slowly began taking steps straight ahead, through thickening fog. Fog never let go, making John’s body give another shiver. He was cold. He began moving faster, wanting to get to warmth or better – find Alex in this fog and be in his warm hands. Suddenly, he tripped on something.

As he fell, fog cleared out a bit, just to make a circle, with radius at least 1 m and John in centre of it. John fell on his chest and cringed as his chest hit cold ground. He flipped around to be on his back and saw on what he had tripped; Alex’s naked body was lying on ground, naked, cold, lifeless. His eyes were open with horror and blood trickled down from his bullet wound in back.

John was 21 years old and shot straight up sitting in his bed, sweating and panting. He gasped for air, as he felt he was chocking on the scream he didn’t manage to give out in his nightmare. He stretched his arm out in darkness, reaching for nightstand lamp switch. He switched the light on and glanced on alarm clock - 3:38 AM. He snatched the glass of water he always left on his nightstand before going to sleep and gulped down the water. He coughed as he was gulped the water; some of it managed to get in his breathing pipe. He put the empty glass down and drew a deep breath. He could breathe again.

He switched off the light and lay motionless in his bed, staring on ceiling. The nightmare was slowly coming back and he remembered what had made him so alarmed. His stomach burned on the edges of hole he still had. It was all coming back. He quickly snatched a pillow he had under his head and pressed roughly on his face. He screamed out loud, but most of the sound was muffled by the pillow. For 6 months after his boyfriend’s funeral he was healing his wounds. Thanks to the nightmare, everything came down crashing, hard.

Next morning, he, being sleepy and feeling very tired, dragged his feet to bathroom. He needed to take a leak. He got to bathroom and glanced in mirror with his eyes half open. There were horrible rings under them. Then, he took his leak, almost missing the toilet. He sighed. He was happy while he was half-asleep – his mind would not work fully so last night’s nightmare was still a fog to his mind. It all changed in about matter of seconds as he glanced on his clock in bathroom. He had one in his bathroom now too, since in past 6 months he kept missing important stuff. After a while, he had gone back to normal but now..

- ‘SHIT, I AM LATE FOR LECTURE!!!’ He roared, alarming himself with his loud voice. Once again, his ‘hell-hole’, as he referred the ‘it’ in his stomach pits. He charged in his bedroom, putting on his clothes, without bothering jumping the shower, without bothering to clean his teeth and without bothering having any breakfast.

17 minutes later, after breathless darting from his apartment to college building, he was sitting in his seat in what was left of last minutes of lecture. The professor didn’t notice him slipping in as his best friend, Regina had sensed something was wrong, had taken a seat near the entrance to lecture room. Last night they had discussed going to morning lectures together. Regina gave the ‘what-the-hell-happened-to-our-plan’ look. John just mouthed one word: ‘Later.’ He opened his notes and began scribbling down from Regina’s notebook, edging his ears to hear what the professor was saying. A tear escaped his left eye. The question was – because of his sleep mixture in his eyes or the remembrance of last night’s horrible nightmare?

Morning dragged on and at least lectures kept John’s mind from wandering back. He was grateful for that. Also, he was grateful Regina didn’t ask any questions to push John. Both she and John knew John himself would tell what happened when he was ready or, rather, when he had time.

Lunchtime came and John was happy to please his part-grumbling, part-edging painfully stomach. He slipped in line to order his food in cafe. When he got his food, he sat down to table in corner.
- ‘Let me guess – if you took this spot, which usually now is empty thanks to your emo months then it means nightmares are ba-’ but Regina’s voice trailed off as she first time in whole day saw John’s face up close. She bit her lower lip, knowing she had gone a bit too far but John knew she meant good. He stood up and wrapped his arms around her, hugging her fiercely. Regina understood and hugged him back.

- ‘Want to take a walk?’ She whispered. John just nodded and they both left the cafe. People from their course glanced over their shoulders but said nothing. Whispers began when both of them had left the building.

John had laid his head in Regina’s lap, while she was resting her arm in John’s. She listened to John’s controlled sobs.
- ‘I saw it. It has been a month since the last nightmare but it is back. I saw him again..’ He said quietly through his quiet sobs. If he raised his voice, his cries would escape him altogether, opening a well-built dam.

Now, a back-story is in for telling. John met Alex, who was 24 years old, in Police academy. Of course, John was not attending it; he was just visiting one of his friends there. As soon as he glanced on Alex it was crush on first sight. At that time he just had barely realised he was gay. He began visiting his friend more and more, hiding the real reason why he wanted to visit the place more frequently but his friend noticed it had never happened before. John was hidden from Alex’s sight until one destined day.

John had again come to the academy to visit his friend. He had some papers with him from his lectures. He was walking down the hall when his attention was drawn to game of cards which was happening near one of lecture rooms. He frowned as he thought that sort of stuff was very highly forbidden in academies like this. Then, he felt he collided with something, or rather, someone.

- ‘Damn, I am sorry. I am so very sorry.’ John mumbled, his face turning red.
- ‘Hey, it’s cool. Name’s Alex.’ Voice said. John froze and darted his head back to see the face of the guy and indeed – it was the same black, 5’11 a bit built guy he had crush on from distance.
- ‘Err, I’m John. I am visiting my friend here. He is in academy too.’ He replied, calming himself from staggering. He was blushing badly.
- ‘Oh.’ Alex chuckled, ‘So you are Brady’s friend. Pleased to meet you.’ They shook hands.

Ever since that day their lives changed. John kept visiting Alex, they kept talking. They met outside the academy. Alex liked to play basketball and John was invited to watch the game. John tried to clear the schedule for most of them as much as he could but he couldn’t make to every one of his games. He had his life, his lectures and his due-in dates for homework essays and other works he needed to do. Their first kiss was after one steamy intense basketball game that decided which team would win the championship between academies. Alex’s team won 143:142. Crown exploded, cheering for Alex and his team. Alex was holding the ball as he was the one scoring the last 3 points needed to win. Alex invited John to team’s after-party and began trailing off with the most intense parts of the game. John listened. He liked Alex talking. Then, Alex unexpectedly kissed John. Alex’s head jolted back.

- ‘Crap. I am sorry John, I didn’t mean to-’ but he didn’t manage to finish his sentence as John had pressed his lips back on Alex’s and had dug his arm in Alex’s hair. Team woo’ed and cheered for both of guys. They knew about Alex’s preference for guys.

Months later Alex’s first assignment came in. He had to go to New York. What seemed to be just paperwork, turned out to be a major shoot-out in one of New York’s banks and Alex had to help NYPD. Of course, John found out afterwards with very bad news. One of his mates, who was also on the same basketball team as Alex knew about both of them so he called John.

- ‘John, there was a bank shot-out and Alex was involved.’ Alex had charged in to help the hostages. Instead, he himself was taken as hostage and some of the members escaped with him as leverage. They caught some of the members but none gave out the rest of the robbers. As Alex was not part of NYPD, just there for some experience and paperwork job. He was reported MIA and assumed to be killed, as there was no clue of him being alive but also there was no clue of him being dead. John waited for a month for some news. He kept in contact with Alex’s friend but after a while he realised a painful edge was forming in his stomach.

No news about Alex meant nothing good but also nothing bad. Yet, month turned into 2 months and that was a bit too much. Painful edges turned into horrible hole which said: ‘You have lost him, for good.’ Nightmares began to form about Alex; him talking about suffering, dying, or utmost, seeing Alex dead, just wounds and his body all being cold. Those nightmares just enforced his burning hole in stomach. He didn’t like it but what he could do? He had to live with it and move on if he could. For months it hurt but after a while it seemed it was getting a whole lot better; until last night...

Regina knew too well what John had been going through. She did see improvement in John but just one nightmare could bring him back to that dark place he had spent in. So many of Alex’s friends had taken like of John and asked him to go on a date with any of them. John couldn’t. He loved Alex way too much and the fact he still was virgin meant he wanted Alex to be the one to ‘fix’ it. But Alex was gone.

He knew he has to move on but right now he had to learn live with the fact Alex was never ever going to be there with him. Tears trickled down his face. All Regina could was hug him tightly to comfort him. She knew about John and him being gay and accepted that. She knew John needed someone his life he could talk about all that stuff with freely, as his parents and other relatives had no clue about him. John didn’t even plan in near future to talk about it. Silent tear escaped Regina’s eye.

Day went on and later John got back to his empty apartment which his parents kindly paid for. He was not a fan of dorm life and he made sure to let parents know that; he mentioned different reasons though. He said he didn’t like the loud nights but in reality he didn’t mind a party, or two, himself. It was the shared guy shower what was the problem. From time to time he would get horny seeing some hot guys. Seeing them naked, well – you get the picture.

He changed and went for shower. He needed a long, nice shower since he missed the morning one. He hated oversleeping, way too much. He was like that. His motto was: ‘Take it or leave it.’ He went to shower and let the stream of warm water run down his body, while he pressed himself against cool shower wall. Thoughts of last night kept playing back in his mind. Lone time came back first, like it happened in nightmare. Then the stumbling through fog came back and the dead body. He wanted to do anything. He wanted to do something but had no idea what he could. Out of rage he punched his fist against the cool shower wall.

- ‘FUCK!’ He shouted as the fist collided with the wall. It hurt.
Somewhere in his bedroom room mobile phone was ringing. He sighed. His fist bones were all red and hot from collision. They were not broken, just a bit hurting. If they were broken, he would not be able to move his palm and fingers. He got out of his shower and wrapped the towel around his waist, hiding his cock, balls and ass. He was alone but still – he felt a lot safer with his stuff hidden.

- ‘Hello?’ He responded.
- ‘John, it’s Matt.’ Voice said on other end.
- ‘Oh, yeah, hi Matt.’ John winced from small pain his knuckles gave off. Matt was one of Alex’s basketball friends.

- ‘Listen, we are in New York. And... We just... want to meet you. Do you want to come up and meet us?’ Matt asked. John didn’t respond. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to go to New York. He wasn’t sure he wanted a mourn party. That’s what it sounded like.
- ‘I uhh... I... I don’t know.’ John said. Even though they were close friends, they were not as close as Regina was. He wasn’t sure if they would appreciate talking about such stuff as nightmares or something. They knew he cared for Alex deeply though, that much they knew.
- ‘Oh, well, sorry...’ Matt was about to end conversation but something deep inside John growled. He needed something. He needed some party. He didn’t know why they were in New York but his guess was a basketball game.
- ‘Okay. Wait. Okay...’ John sighed, ‘I’m going.’

- ‘Sweet. Our private academy bus is leaving tomorrow at 6 pm.’ Matt said. John could hear relief in Matt’s voice.
- ‘I’ll be there. I just need to clear with it my tutor.’ John said.
- ‘Actually, our coach is taking care of that as we speak...’ Matt said. John frowned. That was weird. Since when their coach knew his tutor? He wasn’t worried about it much though. In fact, he didn’t care.

- ‘Well, if that’s the case then I’ll see you tomorrow.’ John said and ended the conversation. He wasn’t sure if going with them to New York was good idea. He was afraid being in New York would make even a bigger tear in his just-patched-up hole. He went back to finish his shower.

Next morning he phoned to Regina and told her he wouldn’t be in that day’s lectures. He had to get ready for meeting Alex’s whole basketball team. Lectures would just keep him from clearing his mind. Stuff would probably end up in a drinking party and he didn’t want to be all emo again. So he just took it easy and was laying in bed for most of morning, reading the new newspaper or watching tv. He was afraid of evening. He didn’t tell Regina the whole story though. He was afraid he wouldn’t approve and he highly cared about his friend’s approvals.

Slowly but day passed, and somewhat John had managed ready himself to meet Matt and others. He changed into his out-going clothes and began his walk to police academy. He didn’t know what to expect.
- ‘You came!’ Matt greeted from entrance. John forced a smile.
- ‘Yeah, I guess I did.’ He said. He hoped he would hide how he feel but Matt would notice.
- ‘Man, you look like shit...’ Matt said silently. John just shrugged and followed Matt to parking lot where the basketball team’s personal bus was waiting for them. The rest of the team was already in it.

- ‘Hi guys.’ He greeted them. All of them, one by one greeted him back, warily. Something about John’s expression made sure he was not in mood for stupid jokes. John knew the team would be forcing the jokes himself as Alex was a dear team member. Most of the way everyone talked, once in a while asking something to John. Matt was the only one paying much attention.

- ‘We talked coach into convince people in New York to let us have a game there.’ Matt winked. John forced another smile. He was sure what Matt meant by ‘convinced’. Someone probably had Coach’s cock up their butthole. John didn’t ask who as he didn’t care. He just wanted to be done with this and get back to his silent apartment.

After 3 hours of drive they finally arrived in New York’s academy. Team went to prepare for the basketball game while John found his way to high seats to watch the game. On his way he collided with some people and even hot guys who had gay radar or something in then and were hitting on John. John just apologized and made his way further. Finally he found a free place. Game began, and he watched as team made their way.