A Boy Named Roy

From then on, nudity was no longer an issue between us. Roy was comfortable being nude, and seeing me nude. I was really taking a chance on nothing more then hopes and dreams. I had slowly begun to allow Roy into my family circle, and it felt nice because my mother absolutely loved Roy. She has never liked any of my friends 100% until she met Roy. - Some of my friends she disliked, and didn't hide that fact. Other she liked to a point, but there was alawys some flaw or underlying concern.

But when it came to Roy, he was perfect and could do no wrong as far as she was concerned. What are the odd's of my mom finally approving of the friend that I just happen to fall in love with? I soon became saturated in these feelings of love for Roy, and I knew that my ability to remain quite about them was wearing thin. It scared the shit out of me because I knew what I stood to lose. I was not so foolishly blinded by love, that I didn't realize the consiquences of confessing my love to Roy. I knew that those three little words that I wanted to say to Roy so badly, could undo the past two years in a matter of seconds.

It was a wonderful Summer that Roy I spent together. We'd come so far from where we started on that first day of school a few years earlier. Over that time, we'd learned alot about each other, and by late August, I was becoming more and more careless about some of the things that I 'd say to Roy. I'm not convinced that these where accidental slips of the tounge as much as they where consiously plotted. But either way, Roy would giggle with me when I'd say something that came very close to a confession. Or a comment with a hidden message. Sometimes Roy would even go out on a limb from time to time. 

My heart would flutter when Roy would make a similar "joking" comment that I was famous for. I always did it in a way that resembled a joke, but carried with it a heavy ora of honesty. One night Roy and I where talking on the phone as we each layed in our beds. We'd talk for hours in a voice that was so softly spoken that it bordered on erotic. I always hated the part when we'd search for things to say, and then eventually run out. On this night, I said good bye to Roy and without skipping a beat, Roy says: 

"Okay then! Buenos noches mi amor (Goodnight my love) and I busted up laughing loudly. So loud that I farted and Roy heard it over the telephone. 

We spent the next 5 minutes in a fit of laughter. That was the moment when I realized that I had lost the ability to feel humility with Roy. I loved him, and I was pretty sure that he already knew that. The train had officially left the station, and the moment of truth was on its way. When it would arrive, I didn't know. I just knew that it would be here very soon, and there was nothing that could be done to stop it.

Whatever was meant for Roy and I was on a collision course like two freight trains, and by late November, I could hear them coming down the tracks. They where coming to get me, or us. Wether Roy would climb aboard with me was still very uncertain. I had never cried before during this adventure with Roy, but the thought of him not loving me back, or even worse, being repulsed by my love would make me incredibly sad, and fearful. 

By Christmas, Roy and I had both sent out little signals that built our confidence. I had cleared the largest obstical of my life. The one that caused me so much fear. It was out in the open between us even if it was still wrapped in ambigious dialog. I didn't care! All I knew was that Roy had similar feeling for me he was afraid to put into words. We'd try so hard to help each other down that path, but it was never to say these words ourselves. It was always an attempt to let the other know that it was okay to say them. I'm not sure why I felt as if it was Roy's responsibility to admit that he had feeling for me first. I just knew that it's all that it would take fo me to confess everything that I had been keeping secret out of fear.

The night before Christmas, Roy and I went up to Hastings Ranch to look at the Christmas decorations. We had our most revealing conversation that night, and I'll never forget it. It couldn't have come any closer to just saying what we wanted to say. For a moment I thought that it was going to happen right then, and I remember shaking uncontrollably. Roy noticed it too and said that we could go put the heater on in the car and dive up and down instead of walking. But I loved walking beside him no matter what the weather may be. He always made me feel so safe whenever he was near. I'd often walk beside him having these daydream like episodes. I'd drift off and imagine us 15 or 20 years older, and even more in love. I could see so clearly how wonderful our life together was going to be.

I almost blurted out "I'm in love with you Roy" as soon as we where in the car, but he cut me off by asking if I remember to mail a letter to Santa Clause. What kind of question is that? I thought to myself.

"Yeah Roy, I remembered" I said with very little emotion.

"You sound worried Eric, have you been naughty or nice this year?" He asked.

"A little of both, but I think the nice outweighs the naughty." I said.

"Well that's good - Maybe you'll just get a few things on your list this year." Roy said.

"I don't know Roy, I only have one thing on my list this year." I said, looking him square in the eye's

"That's funny - Me too!" Roy said.

And that was the end of that conversation. We didn't even drive around to look at the lights, we just drove home in silance. I was screaming at my self inside of my head. "JUST TELL HIM YOU CHICKEN SHIT!"

God I was so pissed. Here was the most wonderful guy in the world. For more then 2 years now, we've slowly built this relationship that is scraming to go a little further, and we can't seem to run the last few feet of a journey that taken us miles to get here.

The only thing that distracted me from my train of thought was Roy dialing his fucking cell phone. He held it to his ear and I almost shit when he started talking.

"Hi Sylvia, It's Roy.......Merry Christmas!" He said. 

Sylvia is my mom's name and I knew that Roy couldn't be talking to some other Sylvia that I didn't know about. Roy was the only friend who called both of my parents by their first name. I'm not sure how all of that started, but every other friend called my mom Mrs. Luevano. But to Roy, my parent where just plain old Bob & Sylvia. It made me feel good that they respected Roy so much. I knew that we'd be breaking some pretty big news to them in the near future. We just needed to break it to ourselves first. I listened to Roy and my mom talk as we drove down the freeway.

"I was just calling to see if Eric can stay at my house tonight. I sort of have a surprise for him and it's important that he be there early in the morning" Roy said to my mom.

"Okay, thank's Sylvia! Tell Bob I said Merry Christmas.......okay, bye." He said before hanging up.

"What the fuck was that all about?" I said.

"Don't be mad, I just wanted you to stay over tonight." Roy said.

"Oh, I'm not mad. I'm just tripping out cuz I didn't know who you where calling until you called." I said.

"Sorry, but if you would have called, she would have said no, but she can't say no to me." Roy said.

"You're too charming for your own good." I said

When Roy and I got to his house, we ate some tamales with his parents. Soon after that, they went off to bed, and Roy and I sat in the den watching "It's A Wonderful Life" for the 100th time that month. As the hours and minutes passed, we moved closer to each other until Roy gently layed his head on my shoulder. I was floating on air, and falling at the same time. I thought my heart would stop beating when Roy casually reached over and placed his hand ontop of mine. 

In my head, I screamed "YES! - YES! Thank you God! -- It is a Wonderful Life!" and I slowly turned my hand over so that his palm would lay flat against mine. I just looked down at our hands as our fingers move forward and locked together. It was too quiet, and I was afraid that I'd try to say something smooth, but end up sounding stupid. But what the hell! - When your in love, you say the stupidest shit, And tonight would be no exception to this rule.

"Hey fucker! - Where's my surprise you told my mom about." I said to Roy.

"Oh....it's right here!" Roy said and moved my hand right ontop of what was obviously his erection.

"Damn Roy! - What's that in your pocket? -- Is that what I think it is?" I asked.

"Well it is't Zuzu's peddles pendejo!" Roy said.

I started laughing so hard that no sound was coming out. But that could only be funny to someone who has seen "It's A wonderful Life" as many times as I have. But trust me! - that was some funny shit. We didn't stop laughing until we heard his mom from down the hall.

"Boys! Boys! - Get your asses upstairs and into bed! It's 2 in the morning!" She shouted in her loudest whisper.

"Okay, sorry." we both said.

But then Roy and I sat quietly. We didn't move a muscle and just looked at each other in the den with the T.V. voulme turned all the way down.

"Well......you heard my mom, we need to go to bed." Roy said breathlessly.

"I guess we should." I said

"I'm ready, are you?" Roy whispered.

"Yes - I'm ready Roy" I said. 

We walked off together hand-in-hand to Roy's bedroom. In the pitch black darkness of Roy's bedroom, we undressed and felt our way onto his bed. As we fumbled around to get under the covers, I could feel that he was as naked as was I. We layed there for a moment, side-to-side and then I rolled over onto my side and placed my hand on Roy's chest. I could feel his heart racing a mile-a-minute. I layed my me head down in the center of his chest and the warmth of it was incredable. I just breathed in the scent that was rising from his overheated body and it was wonderful. 

I felt Roy reach around and begin rubbing his hand up and down the surface of my back, and the other hand he used to run his fingers through my hair. I didn't even think about saying it, it just came out all on its own.

"I'm in love with you Roy" I whispered.

"I know, I'm in love with you too." He whispered back. Then he rolled me over onto my back and kissed me for the first time. 

Although Roy and I didn't have "sex" that night, we did everything imaginable to show our love for each other. I planted little kisses all over Roy's chest and worked my way down lower and lower until I disappeared under the covers. Roy figured out where I was headed and stopped me for a brief moment. 

"Only do what you want to do, and not just because you think it's what I want." Roy said.

"Whatever I do tonight, I do because I love you, and I need you. - I need this" I said, just before I took him completely into my mouth. The sound of him gasping and thrashing his head from side-to-side, sent a feeling through my entire body. With my nose burried deep into his silky soft pubic hair, I breathed in the most erotic and sexually intoxicating scent that I've ever experienced. It was a scent that smelled clean and warm. All of my scense where in overdrive. I could hear, see, touch, and taste Roy in a way that nobody has even done before. Within a few minutes, my scense of taste was inundated with a flood of his very essence. It made me love him in an entirely new way.

We took turns loving each other in that way over-and-over until we where drained. In the morning, I woke up in Roy's arms. I layed there and watched his eyes fultter, then slowly open. The most beautiful smile wash over his face as his eyes focused in on me.

"I love you so much" He said

"God I'm glad I'm not dreaming Roy" I said.

"So did you get what you wanted for Christmas?" Roy asked with a grin.

"Oh yes! - Like 3 or 4 times." I said.

"How funny, me too!" Roy answered.

To be continued...