A harvest to remember part 4

I dropped him at the station & promised that I would call him. I didn’t go home right away I pulled in to a gateway to think.
I couldn’t believe that dad had said those things they were so hurtful, I knew that he didn’t approve of gay men but this was an extreme reaction for him. Any way if he didn’t just barge in to my room he wouldn’t have seen it. That was a bad fault of dads he never knocked he always just walked in, the amount of times he nearly caught me wanking. There was a squeaky floor board about a yard from my door that just gave me time to hide things. I couldn’t lock the door as it didn’t shut properly the house is old & has moved over the years.

I got the courage to go back. As I drove in to the yard I could see a heap of stuff in the yard & dad adding to it. Fuck it’s my stuff.
As dad put my computer on to the heap, he looked right through me as if I wasn’t there.
I got out of the land rover & walked to wards him.
He pulled some thing from his pocket, it was a lighter he flicked it & dropped it on to my stuff. It went up quick, it was then I could see he had poured diesel on it.

“I told you not to come back. I’m not having your dirty stuff in my house.”
He held his hand out to me.
“Keys”
“Sorry?”
“Keys. You are not coming back in here so give me the house keys & fuck off; I don’t want to see you again. You are not my son any more, you are dead to me.”
I just stood there tears rolling down my face.
“keys”
“But dad”
“Look at you little pansy standing there crying like a baby real men don’t cry.”

I walked back to the Land Rover took the house keys off the key ring & held them out for dad to take.
“Just throw them on the fire I’m not touching you I might catch some thing.”
I threw the keys down turned & left.

Where could I go now?
I am a loner I don’t have close friends that I can just turn up & say can I stay.

It came to me that there was an old derelict cottage in the wood on the other side of the farm I could go there. I didn’t want people near me at the moment.

The phone rang it was Toby I switched it off I had to get my head straight before I spoke to him.
I got to the cottage went in; the place was a mess not that it mattered. I got a fire going & sat there & cried.
I stayed there for two days.
I didn’t eat & barely slept, I only had the little money that was in my pocket & that was going to have to last for a while.
I got my head straight & I felt I could talk to Toby.

He was out of his mind with worry. But I had never had someone there to help before I was used to working thing out my self.
He told me that I could go down to his farm. His parents had calmed down & accepted him for who he is & wanted to meet me.
I had nowhere else to go I had nothing to loose.

I couldn’t believe how welcome they made me they treated me like a son.
I couldn’t stay indifferently so I applied for a job on a farm about twenty miles away from Toby’s farm.
I decided to be honest from the start, I told them that I was gay & how I had been throw out by my farther & that I was living with my lover’s family.
I didn’t expect to hear back but next day they phoned back.
I could have the job & there is a house that goes with the job & didn’t mind if Toby came to live with me.
We hadn’t even thought of moving in together, but this was too bigger chance to miss so we took it.
Toby has got a job driving a lorry for a local animal feed company. We are even accepted by most of the locals now they know we aren’t going to rape all the men in the village.

I have tried to contact dad by letter & phone but nothing yet he might contact me eventually.
Russ & Mark are happy living together they have told Mark & Toby’s parents that they are together & they are cool with that. They have been over for a visit it’s nice to see Mark settled now.

That was the end of my story. I was going to send it in to my favourite wank I mean web site for others to read but I didn’t get round to it.

Things changed

Toby & I were so in love we often joked about getting married but not seriously.
One morning in July last year Toby said that he had extra rounds to do so he had to start early. He went off & I went to work. You know what it’s like when your routine is changed you forget things, I left my phone at home & Toby & I always phone lunch times just to hear each others voices. Yes all very love sick teens sort of thing.

I got home, no Toby nothing strange with that, but by eleven I was getting worried. His mobile rang but he didn’t answer.
I phoned his boss to see where he was.
He told me that Toby had booked the day off, some thing about a surprise for me but he didn’t know what. I said thanks & rung off.
He still wasn’t back by one now I was really worried. I sat up all night. I waited until about six & phoned his parents they hadn’t seen him but would let me know if they did.
I kept trying his mobile but now it was just the answer phone.
I switched on the TV the news was on didn’t really watch it something had blown up in London some sot of bomb.
Two days went passed I was beside my self with worry nobody had seen him.
The phone rang Toby’s dad spoke.
“Chris they have found Toby.” He started crying “he was in London he was killed when the bomb went off.”

“It can’t be him, why would he have been in London?”

“It has been confirmed it is him, but we don’t know why he was there.”

The bottom dropped out of my world. I kept going on auto pilot working & just going home.
Then I was going through the emails on Toby’s account the latest was from a jewellers in London. Why had he not been in to pick up his order. I took the details & went to see them.
Toby had commissioned a pair of rings for us. He was going to pick them up on that day.
I took the rings home.

Toby was buried with his ring on. I still have mine on I never remove it.

It has been some time since Toby died I can’t get over it it’s too much for me I can’t go on any more.
I have tried & every one around me has been so helpful trying to get me through this but part of me has gone I am not whole any more. I have been ripped apart the feelings that I have bottled up for so many years have been released & he is not hear to stop the flow.

Mark I am sending this story to you, its up to you do with it.

By the time you get this email it will be to late I will be gone.
I am sorry to all those people that I have let down.
Thanks to Toby’s family for trying to help me through this. but part of me is already dead.
Mark I hope that you & Russ are happy together if you only have part of what we had you will do well.
Mark I am sorry to do this to you but can you phone the police & tell them I don’t want your parents to find me.
You can contact dad but he won’t want to know
If it is possible can I be buried with or at least next to Toby thanks.
I love you all Good bye.

The following is from Mark

I got the email it was to late he had taken an over dose, he was found with a photo of Toby next to him & a cd was playing on repeat The Calling.
He was buried next to Toby, a sad end to two very happy guys.
I tried to contact Chris's dad but no response

I decided to send their story in to the web site; they would have liked to think of guys getting off to their story. You might find the site one day & read it.
I don’t think it did their love justice you can’t describe how they were around each other you had to see it.
The one thing I have learnt is if you find love take the chance go with him you don’t know how long you have got, you could be gone tomorrow don’t just fuck around.

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Thanks to all the guys who have taken the time to review my story good & bad
Writing this story has helped me through an emotional time & has helped me get my head together.
It has given me the chance to start my life again. So much so I have found my self a boyfriend & we are very happy.
This is the reason it has taken me so long to finish the story as I have had other things to do, I will let you imaging what.
Thank for taking the time to read my story.