Cameron Sanders

I don’t know when I realized I was gay. I don’t want to be one of those queers who claim they always knew because I didn’t. In fact, in second grade I was convinced I was going to marry my teacher. I had made up wedding invitations and everything. I remember staring down and the blank sheets of printing paper and scribbling in an almost illegible print cam and Miss. Duffy Mareed. Back then I didn’t know how to spell the word married, nor did I know I should have switched married with Wedding. I remember one day after class when everyone was running to their cubbies to get their coats and backpacks I walked up to her desk with a little jewelry box I’d stolen from my mom’s dresser clutched in my hand.

“Mrs. Duffy?” I asked in a nervous voice.

She looked up from her desk and smiled. “What is it Cameron?”
I looked down at my feet and held the little box out to her, not knowing I should have opened it and gotten down on one knee.
She took it from my hands gently and opened it. “Oh my goodness Cameron. Where did you get this?”
“My mom.” I said kicking at the puke stained carpet. “Will you marry me?”

She blushed a deep red. “Oh Cameron. You’re so sweet. But I don’t think I can marry you.”
“Why not?”
“Well, I don’t think it’d be fair to all the other girls that want to marry you.” She smiled and patted my cheek. “You take this back to you mom and I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Back then I also couldn’t tell the difference between romantic love and maternal love.

If I had to put a finger on the exact date I realized I was gay it’d have to be the summer from seventh to eighth grade.
I use to live in Rhode Island before I moved to Massachusetts to follow my mom’s job. Our town was really small and close knit. You knew your neighbor’s names and all your friends were within biking distance.
I don’t know they exact date. August something I’d assume. I was staying over my best friend Logan’s house and we were camped out in the back yard. Something we did often when weather permitted.
“I can’t wait for high school.” He confessed as we lay on our sides looking at each other, wrapped in our sleeping bags.
“Why?” I said scratching my nose with my blanket.
“Cause then we’ll be top dogs. We can go to the park and push around the puny eighth graders who think they’re hot shit.”
“That doesn’t sound like fun at all.”
“Awe don’t be a wuss.” He said shuffling around in his bag. “You always act like a girl.”

I stared at him as he rolled onto his back. “Speaking of girls, did you see Cindy in her pool when we passed? Damn.”
“I don’t like girls.” I said nonchalantly. I didn’t mean to say it in the way he took it. I meant it to be like “I don’t like girls that act like whores.”
“What? So you’re like, gay?” He turned to me, eyes wide.
“No.” I said firmly.
“What’s it like?” He said. “Did you ever kiss a guy? Did you ever touch a dick?”
“No.” I said again. “I’m not gay.”
“Come on man, It’s cool with me. Just fill me in.”

If he wanted to know so badly I’d give him what he wanted to hear. “I’ve only been with one guy.”
“Yeah? What was it like?”
“He was really big. Practically tore me in two.” I lied.
“No way!” He was getting really excited. “Man I bet he fucked you good.”
“Yup.” I said slowly lying on my back.
“Shit man, I’m hard.”
“You’re what?”
“Hard. You gave me a boner.”
“You’re sick man.” I said rolling over.
“You want to touch it? I bet I’m bigger than that guy you were with.”
“No way man.”
“Come one.” I heard his bag rustle and soon I felt him by my face. Or at least, his privates. “Big huh? Just touch it. I want to know what it feels like.”

I rolled over to look at him in all his naked glory. “If I touch it once will you shut up about this gay thing?”
“Yeah sure man. No problem.” I reached over and took it gently. He moaned as i gropped his hard cock and he didnt last long.
After I pleasured him he thanked me and the rest of the night went on peacefully.

That was my first experience with another boy. I didn’t know I was gay then. I denied it until a year later.

Heyyyy. this is just a short little section of what i'll be posting on here. There will be more to Cameron's story and more sex soon. Im just looking to get my creative juices flowing :)