Confessions: Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Summer whizzed by quickly. June had almost passed completely and I still hadn’t really gotten over what had happened, needless to say that I hadn’t spoken with Damien since that night. I had seen him around a few times, and we greeted each other with a simple stranger’s “hi”, and nothing more. The thought of even speaking to him as a friend again made my stomach churn. I couldn’t talk to him anymore, not after all I had said…all I had did. I began packing my things for the big moving day, even though I still had a full month left. I had nothing better to do. I was so afraid that out of sheer anger of what I had done, Damien told everyone what had happened that night. I couldn't confront my friends. What if they knew? I don't care anymore. As long as I stay hidden in my room for the rest of the summer, I'm good. I felt those old thoughts beginning to return, when the sound of a knock on my door poped me back to reality.

"Come in...Hi dad." 

"Hey son, how are you doing?"

"I'm fine, thanks for asking."

My father sat on the edge of the bed staring at me in a peculiar manner. 

"Is everything okay son?"

"Yeah...why do you ask?"

"Well, because your mother and I have noticed that you haven't been going out much at all lately. We haven't seen you with any of your friends at all, and the telephone hardly rings anymore."

"Well, I guess everyone's busy preparing for college." I said fiddling with my shirt's sleeve.

"Son, I can tell that there's something bothering you. You can talk to me."

"No, everything's fine dad...honestly, I'm just bored, that's all."

"Well, funny that you should say that Julian, because your mother and I thought it would be a good idea to go on a little vacation."

"Wow, really? Where are we going?"

"Well, we know how much you like the beach, so...how does the Bahamas sound?"

"Did I ever tell you that you are my faviorte dad?" I said practically about to jump out of my chair.

"Ha ha, I'm your only dad." my father replied laughing a little.

"So when do we leave?"

"Well, it's kind of short notice but, the plane leave tomorrow at noon, so you better start packing."

This was awesome. A vacation is just what I needed to clear my head. Thousands of miles away from everyone...namly Damien. But, as luck would have it (if I didn't have bad luck, I wouldn't have any at all), fate would have one more laugh before I could rest.

"Oh, I almost forgot to tell you Jules, your mother and I invited Damien to come along. We figured this would be going away gift for the both of you."

I went knumb. For a moment I was sure that I would die. I struggled to comprehend what my father had just told me. Did I hear him right? Did he just say that Damien was coming with us? What a scary thought. But perhaps what was more scary, is the fact that Damien accepted the invitation. Surely he knew that I would be going. Why would he have agreed to go knowing that we still had serious, unresolved issues between us? Or maybe it's just me. Maybe he has gotten over what has happened already. The familiar flood of thoughts returned, this time without any signs of going away any time soon. 

***

Hours seemed to pass away like minutes. I didn't manage to get one wink of sleep. I sat at the edge of my bed peering though the window across the room. The sun began to rise, and in a way, it reminded me of that morning that Damien decided to ruin my life. It was almost 6 a.m., and I had already packed my things, showered, and eaten breakfast. I could faintly hear my parents begin to rouse in their room down the hallway. The sound of them waking was comforting. The immense silence was very disturbing and loud, I thought my ears would bleed.

Within an hour my parents were ready, and the next five hours went by pretty quickly. I sat in the terminal of the airport with my feet in my chair and my head between my knees. I wanted to enjoy myself, or at least seem as if I was enjoying myself, but for obvious reasons I could not. Within moments I was able to distinguish among what seemed like thousands of footsteps a pair approching me. Thinking that it was either my mom or dad, I didn't bother to raise my head. However, an unwanted, yet familiar voice arrested my attention.

"Hey." I knew who it was, my brain didn't even have to register his voice to tell me that it was Damien. I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end with the sound of his voice.
I looked up to see him standing only about a foot away from me. There he stood, just as I remembered him on the docks. Like me, Damien wore a tank top, shorts and sandals. The fact that we thought enough alike even to dress the same gave me chills. Finally I managed to utter an almost inaudible "hi."

Damien sat down in the chair next to me. I was nervous as hell. I felt as if my favorite celebrity had just came and sat next to me. I couldn't seem timid or introverted, I couln't allow him to know that I sitll held on to what had taken place just over a month ago. To do so would be downright immature, so I attempted to stike up a conversation.

"So, how ya been?" I said barely lifting my head from between my knees.

"I've been good, and how about yourself?" 

"Things are okay, but i've been better."

I knew that somehow, someway, the untouched subject would surface about what happened. I was just hoping that it would come later...a whole lot later, like when Damien and I are both wearing depends and in wheelchairs. The conversation continued.

"So, you ready for college?" Damien said pushing his hair from over his shoulder.

"Yeah, I've already have a roomate and everthing." Damien looked at me with a shallow stare. I knew what he was thinking. Perhaps he still thought that I would room with him after what had transpired, but there was no way is H-E-double hockey sticks that I could room with him now.

"Well, that's good." he replied with a very fallacious tone.

I could see my parents coming from baggage check through my frequent glances from beyond my knees.

"You boys ready to go?" My dad exclaimed, apparently full of enthusiam.

"Yes Mr. Scott" Damien replied hopping from his seat as if he were elated that our very superficial conversation had come to an end. I still hadn't moved before Damined turned back around and leaned toward me, coming deathly close to my face.

What the hell? I know that he wasn't about to try to kiss me right hear in front of my parents, in public, and definately without my consent. A closer inspection of his movements revealed that he was aiming for my ear...he wanted to tell me something obviously.

"Ah...Julain" Damien started with a very faint whisper, "You might wanna put your legs down, a guy might think your trying to give him hints." I was appalled. I immediately hopped up to join my parents without even looking at him... I couldn't look at him. Upon boarding the plane, I made certain that I sat alone. I prayed that someone else would sit next to me before Damien got on the plane, and for once luck proved to be on my side because a very hot chick that kinda looked like Paris Hilton (minus the lazy eye) sat next to me. I immediately struck up a conversation. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Damien board. I could see the dissapointment in his face that he couldn't sit next to me. A sly and almost sinister grin crept across my face. I felt like I had acheived some kind of victory. However, as usual my relief was temporary, for at that moment I realized something crucial. With only my mother, father, Damien and myself on the trip, he and I would have to share a hotel room together. Once again fate laughed in my face as if saying "You knew that you wouldn't get off that easily." I forgot about the Paris Hilton look alike sitting next to me, and slipped into a very pensive, somber reverie, as I stared out the window at the world that kept getting smaller, and smaller beneath me.