Cool Fools 5: The First Date

After the movie, the couple reloaded the parking meter with quarters and decided to walk two blocks down to Sloppy Joe’s instead of taking the bike. This was better than being seen on the bike again, and as long as they just talked and walked side by side casually to the destination, Woody didn’t have a problem with it. But when he felt Ethan was trying to take a hold of his hand, Woody folded his arms and pretended to scratch his elbow. When they reached Sloppy Joe’s, the couple could read the sign on the window: Valentine’s Day special. For couples, 15% off everything on menu.

They went inside and stood in line behind three couples waiting for a table. When it was their turn to walk to the counter, a waitress asked, “Are you two a couple?”
Ethan looked at Woody, “Your call!”

Woody gulped down dry air and suddenly felt his whole body bursting in flames. The heterosexual couples behind them were definitely staring, so were the other waiters. Woody took in a deep breath and exhaled with a nod, “Yeah, we’re a couple.”
Ethan beamed at Woody’s reply. And soon they were lead to a small heart shaped booth and were asked what they wanted to drink.
“Iced tea with lemon please,” said Ethan.
“Yeah, same for me.”

They were presented with the menus, and Ethan and Woody looked through it, surprised that there was even a hand-held menu at Sloppy Joe’s.
“They really do kick it up a notch on Valentine’s day, don’t they?” Ethan commented. “Wow, I haven’t seen a lot of these stuff on their usual menu before…seafood salad…shrimp cocktail…awesome…”
Woody studied the menu just as curiously, “Hawaiian pizza…I love that.”
“Me too, wanna share a medium?”
“Yeah, sure!”

Apart from the medium pizza, Ethan also ordered a chef salad with the house dressing and Woody ordered a cup of fruit. The pizza was good and their side orders were good, but it was their easily flowing conversation that Woody and Ethan enjoyed most. They began by talking about their favorite parts in Modern Times and moved on to Chaplin’s other movies. And then they talked about the other great silent comedian Buster Keaton, and soon, they moved off the subject of silent film altogether.

“Oh, I’ve been wondering. When I was looking for you around campus to tell you to give Reed his job back, I saw this weird sculpture at the art museum. And the head part looks like yours,” recounted Woody, “Is that you? Did you model for it?”

“You mean the statue of a guy with an android body and a humanoid face?” Ethan shook his head, “Actually, no. I’ve been asked that a lot. It’s actually…um…my cousin, Adam.”

“Oh, you never mentioned that…”
“He and I don’t get along…”
“Why’s that?”
“Nothin’ really. Just personality conflict.”

Ethan suggested they move onto a different subject and proceeded to mention his plan to leave the comic-book business to his father in order to attend a fellowship in English studies at Ashton University’s graduate school.

“That’s freakin awesome.” Woody raised an eyebrow and animatedly relayed his plan on going to Ashton University, as well, for undergraduate studies. However, their exciting prospect of possibly living together in new city next year was cut short when a couple strandling each other stopped by their table.

An ominous shadow fell on Woody’s face, and he looked up to see the big, towering figure and the thick neck and face of Bruce Armstrong, his mortal enemy. And beside him, standing a head and a half shorter, was Ashley Lace, the girl who dumped Woody two years ago.
“Ethan…” Bruce gave a respectful nod to the football idol, and then looked at Woody with less courteous eyes, “Woodchuck, what a surprise,” he smirked, “You two…um…Are you two…?”
“Yes! We’re together.” Woody said shortly.

“Oh…well then…that’s just…groovy…” Bruce laughed.
Ashley said, “Congratulations!”
“Thank you,” nodded Ethan.
“Well, see ya around.” Bruce bent down to kiss Ashley’s forehead, as if to say ‘I’m so glad I’m not gay.’

As they walked off, Woody could hear Bruce and Ashley’s suppressed laughter. “So that’s why he never had sex with me,” Ashley whispered to her tall boyfriend, but loud enough for Woody to overhear.

Ethan heard it as well, “You never had sex with her? Why not? She’s hot!”

Woody sighed and replied, “I dated her after we lost Laurie. Remember how you said my sister was disappointed in me for sleeping around with so many girls? Well…I thought I’d take it real slow with the next person I dated. And that’s the result…she dumped me for that asshole.”
“Is that when you started working out a lot? To try to get even with Bruce?” Ethan asked.

“Yeah, pathetic, ain’t it?”
“Well, you don’t have to worry about me hitting on Bruce," said Ethan, "I’m claustrophobic so having that big a guy on top of me…I’ll feel caved in.”

Woody gave a slight chuckle in appreciation of Ethan’s effort to make the best of the uncomfortable situation. Still, the couple didn’t talk much after that. At least Ethan attempted to keep the conversation going, but Woody’s mind seemed to have disappeared into another world, a world where Bruce and Ashley weren’t glancing at him so mockingly. They quickly finished their pizza and side orders and went to the front to pay, tipping the waitress a generous 25%. As they walked back out into the street, Ethan again tried to take hold of Woody’s hand, but the younger man stuffed his hands down his pocket and prevented that to happen.

“Do you want to want to walk around a little bit, enjoy the cool fresh evening, or go back to my place?” asked Ethan.
“Your place,” sighed Woody.
Ethan bit his lip and nodded slowly, disappointment was all that could be read on his face. But currently, Woody was too much in a daze to notice Ethan's displeasure; all he could think about was how the whole school would know about him and Ethan on Monday. And now, he had to endure another grueling fifteen minutes riding on the motorcycle back to Ethan’s house with everyone staring at them at every darn intersection for every freakin red light.

As they reached the parking meter, Ethan noticed a white note on the black leather seat of the motorcycle and quickened his pace in fear that it was a parking ticket. It quickly became obvious that it was not a parking ticket, but a loose-leaf notebook paper stuck to the seat with clear scotch tape. The note read, “Hoped you guys had a fun date. I know what happened to your truck. Cross the street to find me. Kimora.”

“When did she write this?” wondered Ethan, “She could be anywhere by now.”
“No, I think she’s still over there.” Woody said, pointing across the street to the building with some Chinese characters painted on the glass window, “She’s probably practicing her martial arts.”

And with that, Woody and Ethan crossed the streets at an intersection. They passed under the red and yellow ‘Martial Masters’ sign and ventured into the dimly lit building which smelled of incense and cinnamon. A short man in his fifties with gray hair wearing a karate gi and a black belt came out to greet the couple with a low bow. Ethan and Woody imitated a bow back at him.

“Hello, young spirits. I am Master Lee. What can I help you with?”
“We wish to speak to Kimora,” said Woody, “If she’s here.”
“She is here,” replied the man, “But she is teaching her class. If you would like to wait out here for the next hour. Or,” the man raised an eyebrow, “If you would like to learn the basic of defensive martial arts, we would welcome you to join her class.”

“What is the fee to take the class?” asked Ethan.
“We feel that everyone should know the basics of defensive martial arts. The first class is free of charge to those who are interested.”

Woody looked at Ethan who nodded enthusiastically, “Great. We’ll join the class.”

The man bowed and led them into a tight hallway with many stalls for changing. He gave each a white gi, pants and jacket, and a white belt. Knowing they had wear it in order to enter the class, Woody and Ethan accepted graciously. Each disappeared into their respective stalls to change into their uniforms. Without a mirror, they couldn’t tell how ridiculous they looked or if they were even putting the suit on the right way. So as they stepped back out into the hallway, they gauged each other and laughed a little bit…their first genuine laughter on their date since the movie. They approached each other, slowly, seductively, letting their eyes go slowly up and down the other’s body. Woody bit his lip to suppress an unruly sigh of delight as he saw Ethan’s beautiful golden chest peaking through his partially open gi jacket. And Ethan licked his lips to keep from drooling, very much appreciating how the belt around Woody’s waist accentuated more of his already terrific derriere. It was sheer willpower that they didn’t tear off their uniform and do the nasty right then and there.

When Master Lee came back to see that the two had changed, he led them down the hall and pointed to a door and bowed away. When Ethan opened the door, they could hear the ‘hoo’ and ‘haa’ typical of what they expected to hear in martial art classroom.

“And that,” said Kimora brightly, “are just sounds to make when you want to impress a crowd or intimidate your opponent. But it’ll all come down to your technique in the end, so why don’t you guys work on what I showed you?” She was talking to a dozen kids, the oldest of which was still probably in sixth grade. When Kimora turned to the door, she stared blankly at the couple for a moment, and then spread her lips into a toothy smile, “Oh, hey, you guys. Thanks for coming,” She ran up and bowed to her two guest students and then proceeded to hug each one at a time.

After the proper greeting, Ethan tried hard to not sound intense, "What do you know about what happened to my truck?”
“How did you know it was Ethan’s motorcycle parked outside, anyhow?” asked Woody.

“When I got here, I saw you two walking out of the art cinema, and Ethan was feeding the meter,” explained Kimora, “So I went over to write the note.”

“So do you know who did it?” asked Ethan.

Kimora nodded, “I saw a kid striking your truck with a bat, but he ran away before I could chase after him…I don’t know who he is, but I can give you a pretty good description of him.”
“Well, first, why were you at my place?” asked Ethan.

Kimora rolled her eyes and sighed, “Okay, well. Honestly, I was actually kind of jealous that Woody dumped me for you, so I just wanted to pull a little prank. Intended to spray paint something obscene on your windshield, but when I got there, the little kid was already beating at the tail lights…”

“What does he look like?” asked Woody.

“He was a short asian kid, with really long back hair…and his black baggy jeans barely fit around his waist, and I think the sneakers he wore were red,” said Kimora, “Do you know any kid in your neighborhood like that?”
Ethan shook his head, “No, but your description is awfully close to that of the guy who stole a stack of comics from my store a few weeks ago…”
Woody supposed. “Do you think he wanted revenge for getting him in trouble?”