Don't think

My name is Ariel (No, I’m not related in any way with that Disney’s fucking Little Mermaid, thank you!). I’m currently a 25 years old guy with latin features, 5’9’’ tall and a gym built body. I have a good place to live, a nice car to drive, a high position in my father’s company, a spoiled brat for most of the people who doesn’t know me well but I’d never care. 

If I’m writing this is because I wanted to share a very important part of my life. From the time when I was with my love and how it turned into what it is now.

My story with Marco started when I was 14. He was from Italy and had moved here with his mother when his parents get divorced a few years before we met. He was the stereotypical Italian boy: good looking and charmingly attractive, with brownish hair and hazel eyes and an exquisite swimmer body. I was not bad myself, actually I remember that was the time when there was no girl who would dare to say no to me, not even the older ones, though I just couldn’t engage with any. 
I realized we would be close from the first time I talked to him in my first day at that school. We’d seen each other before but we never really talked until I had to move to his school because there was no other willing to accept me. Then we became inseparable. He was the first person I ever met who didn’t want to be beside me for what I had or for how I looked, actually I remember I used to feel like the ungraceful one beside him then. 

The night when everything started I was at his place. As almost every night his mother was not home and I was there trying to forget my last failed relation with a girl. Close to 10 that night I’d drink so much wine I couldn’t even stand up by myself. Marco just laughed and gave me more and more wine until the moment when I closed my eyes and everything disappeared. I was almost unconscious, laying over his room’s carpet, feeling the world going in circles around my head. I don’t know how long I laid there, the time seem to stoped for a while until I felt a hand rubbing my chest and then the warm touch of someone’s lips against mines bringing me back to life. My body was still numb when a tongue get into my mouth strongly, deep and passionately. I’d never been kissed like that before and I’d never had felt my whole body trembling with a wave of pleasure running all over me like in that moment. Mi arms moved to wrap around the neck of who was kissing me in that incredible way and I started to kiss back still with my mind numbed. Just a while later, seconds that I felt like hours, my mind seem to awake to what was really happening there. I opened my eyes terrified to find Marco’s perfect face over me. The only thing I could do was pushed him back and crawled away from him. My face in that moment probably expressed what I couldn’t put on words because he started to try to apologize.

“I… I don’t know what happened to me… I’m sorry… I… “
He moved his hand towards me but I stepped back again. 
“You are sick…”, was the only thing I could say before I stood up and ran away from his house as fast as I could. Once outside and a few streets away I throw up while I cried not really knowing the reason why I was doing it. 

The next week I invented myself a flu to not go to school. My father didn’t care as long as I didn’t give him any problem so he left me in peace. I told my nanny I didn’t wanted to see anyone, neither get any phone call because I thought I couldn’t stand to hear or see Marco again after what had happened. But he didn’t called and he didn’t went to see me either. All that week the only thing I did was think and remember that kiss. Everything was so confusing; my brain just telling me it was wrong, it was sick, it just couldn’t be. But every time I remembered his hand over my body, his lips, his tongue exploring my mouth, even the warmth of his body so close to mine, I felt the same excitation and my body trembling. But finally my brain won that battle and I decided I had to face him again, after all I couldn’t hide forever in my house and my father was starting to get annoying. 

When I finally appeared in my classroom the next Monday the first thing I saw was him sitting at his same seat beside mine, surrounded by our classmates as always, laughing careless as if nothing strange had ever happened to him. When he saw me standing by the door he walked towards me and asked me what had happened to me like he wouldn’t had known anything. I couldn’t control myself then, something inside me make me hate him for pretending there was nothing wrong after I had spent the whole past week suffering with all that confusion in my head. I hit him as hard as I could (And to my favor I can say I strike really hard). He stumbled but didn’t fall and I grabbed him from his clothes and pushed his back against the wall while I felt how my eyes were filling themselves with angry tears.
“Fucking bastard…”, I hissed as the only thing I thought I could do. But his brain was colder than mine.
“Not here… Let’s go to the boys room to talk…”, he said looking over my shoulder to the rest of our class staring at us without understand what was going on. I let him go and followed him but we didn’t got to the boys room but to a storage room we used sometimes to get high (I never said I was a good boy). He stepped inside first and I shut the door behind me. He turned and looked at me and just then I noticed a red thread of blood coming out from his mouth. He wiped it away with his fingers as showing me he didn't care.

“Please forgive me… I… I just can’t stand this anymore…”, he said with his voice broken, “I just don’t know what to do with what I’m feeling… I like you, I want you… I want you so badly…”
“SHUT UP!”, I yelled not wanting to hear anything else, “You can’t say that! You can’t think that way! Is wrong!”
“Why? Why can’t I want you?”, he asked me taking one step closer to me, though the look in my eyes should had been very explicit because he stepped back again.

“Because we both are boys”, I told him as I’d been telling to myself the whole past week, “Because its wrong, because its disgusting…”
“Disgusting?”, asked he to me then with a sort of sarcasm in his voice, “You didn’t seem to think that way when you kissed me back…”
That left me without words a moment. It was true, I couldn’t deny it. I just couldn’t stand that anymore. I turned to leave but he called me and I stoped.
“Wait! Wait please… Don’t go!”, he begged me and I couldn’t move, his voice sounded so hurt and filled with sorrow it just disarmed me, “I’m sorry… Please forgive me… If you want to we can pretend this never happened, I’ll try to forget about this, I won’t touch you again… But please don’t… You have no idea how important you are for me…”

“Marco…”, I whispered without noticed it while I bite my lips. I didn’t wanted to leave him either, I couldn’t just take him out of my life like that. He was the only one I could trust, the only one who made me feel good beside him, cared and accepted beyond the appearances and everything. I didn’t wanted to loose him, I didn’t wanted to leave his side… But forget everything… For some reason it seems to hurt even more. 

“I’d never feel like this before”, he continued, “I know its wrong too and I know I shouldn’t had do that to you, I shouldn’t had take advantage the way I did it… But I’m not sorry for what I did… Just tell me and I’ll do anything to stop this and stay by your side… But… I’m not sorry for that kiss…”
I had my hand ready to open the door and walk away but I found out I couldn’t. 

I just couldn’t leave as I couldn’t keep pretending I was positive about the reasons I’d give to him. I couldn’t lie to myself like that. I locked the door before I turned and walked the three steps between us. I took him from the back of his head and closed my eyes to give myself to an incredible kiss that still tasted like his blood. He gasped shocked after the first contact but then his tongue made quickly his way into my mouth while his hands held me strongly by my waist to pull me closer. I felt his whole body against mine and in front that brutal warmth I felt how I my own body reacted to that excitation. Marco pushed my back against the wall while he kissed me, pressing and rubbing against me. His hands started to move over my waist and tights until they reached the front of my pants where he started to massage my trembling crotch. With that new kind of contact I felt I would explode then and there. A few girls had do that to me before but never that way, never making me feel something as good as that. I started to pant while he went a bit further. When he unzipped my pants and pulled down my underwear, my already hard cock popped out and he smiled and started to kiss my neck. By that time I’d totally surrended myself to whatever he would had wanted to do with me, maybe that was the reason why I didn’t move when he knelt in front of me and kissed my belly and then his way down. I watched some precum coming out from me just with the anticipation of what was coming and I closed my eyes and I feel myself so horn I felt dizzy when his lips encircled my cock and then when his tongue started to play inside his mouth with me. I almost screamed in pleasure then when he started to shove it deeper inside his mouth, massaging my balls with his hands and making me feel the back of his throat and me getting close to orgasm.

“Wait…”, I moaned to prevent him, “I’m…I’m going to… cum…”
But instead step back he received all my load in his mouth, stroking me until I was all done and feeling I would never recover myself from that orgasm. 
He climbed and kissed me again with that passion that dominated me. I was left so sensitive that I shudder all over. Just then I noticed the salty taste of my own cum mixed with his spit. I wouldn’t had imagined myself tasting it one day, neither that I would liked it that much.
A few minutes later I heard the footsteps outside while the bell rang. Just then I looked at him a bit more coldly.

“I…”, I started but he put his fingers over my mouth, his fingers still smelling like sex.
“Shh… Don’t say anything”, he whispered kissing me lightly again, “Whatever would happen will happen… Don’t think about this now…”
He smiled at me and helped me with my pants. Then he kissed me one last time before he turned.
“Come on, let’s go back to class now…”

I smiled too and followed him. I thought he was right. It was not the right moment to think.

To be continued...