Dr Wallace's Casebook 1

Note : This story is completely fictional!

THE EXHIBITIONIST

A few years ago, a guy came to my surgery and the first thing he said, almost before he'd closed the door, was, "I want you to refer me to see a psychiatrist."

I guess I just stared at him, taken aback by his abruptness, as he perched himself down in a chair and went on, "You can do that, can't you? I mean, GPs can refer people to psychiatrists, can't they?"

I nodded, taking stock of him. He looked quite young for his age – I could see that he was in his mid-thirties from his details on the screen next to me – and had an athletic stature. He seemed very tense, and I put that down to the fact he'd probably been building up to coming to see me like this for some time, but he wasn't displaying any obvious signs of mental illness. 

I said, "I can refer you to a psychiatrist – of course – but you'd have to tell me what it's about... I'd need to know that that was the best option for you..."

He nodded. "Yeah. I expected having to tell you a few details... but... well... I'm married with a couple of kids... what I say would be absolutely confidential, wouldn't it?"

I nodded back, lowering my eyes sagaciously. "Of course."

Confidentiality is my middle name.

He said, looking at my desk, the wall behind me and anywhere except my face, "Well... the fact is... I kind of... enjoy having other people looking at my body..."

Then he momentarily looked at me directly, as though curious as to my reaction, and I noticed he was blushing a little.

"That's not so unusual," I said calmly and in a tone I hoped he'd find reassuring. "I imagine most men enjoy having other people admiring their bodies from time to time..."

"Their naked bodies?" he asked.

"Everyone likes to think other people find them attractive, clothed or naked."

He nodded. "It's not like I invite it... I mean, it's usually accidental... especially when –"

"We're talking here – I'm surmising – about the fact you enjoy deliberately exposing your genitals?" I interrupted, and he nodded, blushing more conspicuously.

With a small cough, he muttered, "It started a few years ago." Then he paused, perhaps unsure of how much he wanted to tell me. He must have assumed that merely telling me he enjoyed exposing himself would be enough to convince me to refer him elsewhere. "Five maybe. Five or six... something like that..." He tailed off.

I asked, "What happened?" Clearly he was going to need a bit of encouragement.

He looked back up at me. He seemed extremely uncomfortable and his forehead was sweating a little.

"I teach maths – I don't know if it says that on your screen – and sometimes I run an after-school football club."

I nodded.

"Well, there was this day when, the lads were getting showered and stuff in the changing room, and I was changing in the teachers' office which is next door, and..."

He tailed off, blushing again, and barked out, "I don't want to take up your time. If you think you can't refer me..."

"I'll just need more details."

"But it's a long story and we've only got like ten minutes or so, haven't we?"

I smiled. "You're my last appointment and they don't lock up until after seven... you can take your time."

He took a deep breath, obviously wondering whether he'd made the right choice in coming to see me. After a good few seconds, he went on, "Okay. Well, while I was undressing, there was this fight – just a scuffle, really – and I had to run into the room to break them up."

He looked at me again, clearly expecting a shocked response from me, and I shrugged and nodded to show him that I thought what he had just said was eminently reasonable.

"Well I was naked. Or I had my vest on, maybe. I don’t remember. What I'm saying is that my knob was on show..."

He looked quizzically at me again. Again, I just nodded, muttering, "I seem to remember seeing a few teachers' in the nude when I was at school at various times. I don't suppose the lads were too shocked... how old were they, by the way?"

"Fifteen or sixteen." And then, slightly defensively, "We're not talking about little kids."

"So seeing an older guy's penis wouldn't exactly have been a revelation for them..." I smiled, hoping to lighten his discomfort.

"That's not the point," he went on. "The point is that... well... once the fight had been broken up – like I say, it was only horseplay, really – and I'd told them all off for messing around, I noticed them looking over at my cock."

When he realised he'd said 'cock' he was apologetic – as if it was the sort of word that would shock a sweet and innocent GP – but I smiled and gestured for him to continue.

"They really stared at it. And I suppose that's what started it off..."

"Why would that have started it off?" I asked. "Boys are naturally curious about adults' genitals..."

"Yeah, I know. But... well... I guess – without sounding too, you know, immodest – " He paused to throw me a small, rather impish, smirk. "I'm kind of well-built down there."

I grinned. "They'd never seen one like it?"

"Probably not. I haven't much experience of other guys' dicks, but I seem to be about twice the size of the most of the ones I happen to have seen. You know... in the showers and stuff."

I was quite intrigued by this. "We're talking about your size limp, are we?"

He laughed. "Yeah! I sure as hell didn't have a hard-on in front of the football class!"

I nodded. "Okay. So they stared over at sir's dick... then what?"

"Well I guess I liked it."

"Liked the attention?"

He considered that for a second and then shook his head. "No... I think it was more than that. I think it was kind of superiority thing. I can't explain it very well..."

"'Superiority?' Because your dick was bigger than theirs?"

He shrugged. "I dunno exactly. I suppose I noticed how much bigger mine was compared with theirs. Yeah... I kind of liked the way that, for all their macho acting and posturing, my big dick put their tiny ones to shame... but I think it was more than that..."

I nodded.

He went on, "I guess I'm thinking that I liked the fact I was impressing them. That they were seeing me in a new light, kind of."

I nodded. "Not just as their maths teacher but as someone with a sexual dimension?"

"And their obvious interest in that... and maybe their envy of it."

"So what happened then? After you noticed them staring at you?"

"I pretended I hadn't noticed and went back to the teachers' changing room."

"Did you develop an erection?"

He seemed taken aback by my frankness.

"After what you've just said, it would seem natural that you would," I added.

He thought carefully about his response.

"Actually, I don't think I did. Not immediately. But a few days later one of the lads made a joke in class about it. We were running through a maths problem – kind of like, 'My shadow is four metres long when the sun is sixty degrees in the sky. How long am I?', and one joker said, "About nine inches, sir, or so I've heard."

I couldn't help but laugh.

He chuckled too, but his eyes betrayed some of the consternation he'd felt about having that said to him as a teacher. "The class went nuts. Obviously everyone knew about the size of my cock and had been talking about it."

I nodded. "So what did you do?"

"I suppose I must have blushed, because someone else said, 'I wouldn't be embarrassed about it, sir, if I were you. I'd be proud of it.' Which caused even more laughter."

He continued, "I calmed them down and they got on with some work. But I couldn't help notice one or two of them glance at my crotch when they thought I wasn't looking, and realised how fascinated by my cock they were."

"And you developed an erection?"

He nodded. "Gradually, yeah. I wouldn't have expected myself to, but I did."

"Why wouldn't you have expected yourself to?"

He laughed. "Would you have? Having a class full of lads in front of you, knowing they were thinking about your dick and maybe wishing they had one like it... would you have thought that would turn you on?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. But their interest and envy must have been quite appealing to you, and I would imagine that could easily manifest itself sexually..."

He didn't reply to that; he seemed to consider it and nodded slowly.

"So how did you conceal your erection?" I asked.

He dismissed that with a grin and a small wave of his hand. "You learn a few tricks over the years, you know..."

"Actually I don't. I wish I did."

He chuckled. "There are ways of positioning it so that it doesn't show. Pretend you're fishing for something in your pocket and push it beneath the waistband of your briefs. That kind of thing."

I smiled. "Okay. So you managed to conceal it... what happened after that? Did you masturbate about it afterward?"

Again he seemed a little surprised that I was being so direct with him.

"I dunno... maybe. But not right away or anything. Maybe a few days later."

"Did it feel wrong to do that?"

He shook his head. "Not really. I've always enjoyed having a big dick: enjoyed having girlfriends tell me how much bigger it is than other guys' dicks; and having my wife tell me how much she likes it. So I guess I just saw it as an extension of that."

"Did you think about your students' smaller dicks while you masturbated?"

He looked shocked. "Of course not! I'm not a paedophile!"

"I wasn't suggesting that you were. I was wondering, actually, if you may be experiencing an emergence of homosexual feelings?"

He shook his head. "I don't think so. I mean, I have considered that. But I don't have any desire to have sex with – or even touch in a sexual way – another guy. I just don't think it's that."

I nodded and asked, "Would you be ashamed if you did have those desires?"

"Not especially," he replied, shrugging. "Let me tell you about something that happened a few years ago. I went into a public toilet for a piss and there were loads of guys standing at the urinal. I went and stood alongside them – at the time, it didn't occur to me why it might be so crowded – and pulled my dick out. Of course they were there to pick other guys up and, when they saw my dick, they got quite interested in me. I liked their attention... I liked having them looking at me and seeing them getting hard as they got off on how big my cock is... but then one of them knelt down to suck me and... well..."

"Well?"

"I just got out of there." He laughed incredulously. "I just fucking ran!"

Then he apologised again for his language.

I smiled. "Why did you run?"

"I dunno. I suppose I just didn't want some guys' mouth around my cock. It really repulsed me."

"Was he a repulsive-looking guy?"

"No... I don't remember exactly. I think he was just an average-looking bloke like me. I dunno... it wasn't how he looked that freaked me out, it was the fact he was a guy..."

I paused and considered what he was saying. "Okay. So let's say you're not gay or bisexual... what happened next – after your accidental exposure in the changing room?"

"Well, the next time was an accident too. The first few times were, actually."

I nodded.

"I was with a group of first or second year boys, warming up with them before football, and... well... it was my mistake. I'd forgotten it was football after school and I'd worn my boxers instead of briefs. While I was squatting down to stretch my thighs, my dick flopped out through the leg of my shorts."

"Same response from the boys?"

"They were younger so there was a lot more giggling."

"And you enjoyed it?"

"No! I was mortified. I really felt bad about it. But then..."

He seemed uncomfortable again.

"Then?" I prompted.

"Well, I noticed one of them had sprung a stiffie because of it. His shorts were tenting up."

"What did you do?"

He laughed hollowly. "What do you think I did? Got him out of there before his mates noticed. Told him he might like to go and get a drink of water to calm down if he couldn't stop giggling. Gave him the chance to splash a bit of cold water on it."