Dr Wallace's Casebook 2

Another hollow chuckle. "Jesus, yeah! He was grabbing at the back of my head, trying to cram as much of his cock down my throat as he could. He was humping my face so hard that the bed was creaking. He must have cum in less than a minute."

"Was he apologetic again afterwards?"

Dominic said, "This time there was no mess to apologise for." Then he realised what he'd just revealed and blushed once more. He went on, "He thanked me and then went back to his own room."

"Did you enjoy doing it to him?"

Dominic looked uncertain. "I liked the fact his cock was so big..."

"But it had your older brother attached to it. How did that make you feel?"

"I wasn't revolted by it; I can't pretend I was. It might sound weird, but I kind of liked the fact that what we were doing was so... I dunno... taboo, I suppose. Does that make sense?"

I nodded.

He went on, "On the one hand, I really wasn't comfortable about what we were doing. But on the other, I found the sordidness of it, the fact it would be seen by most people as being shockingly disgusting, kind of... well... exciting."

"How long did it take him to return to your room for more?"

Dominic shrugged. "I dunno... I couple of nights, maybe."

"And did you give him oral sex again?"

Dominic nodded. "For the next few visits, that's what he wanted. It was only on the fifth or sixth occasion that he..."

He tailed off again. I knew what was coming.

I asked him, "How did it happen?"

Dominic took a deep breath; he was clearly feeling quite embarrassed by this. "I was sucking him and feeling his cock getting really hard like he was going to cum. But then he pulled me off and pulled my face up to his. He gave me a kiss and then turned me so that I was lying on my front. He yanked down my shorts, climbed on my back and..."

I didn't say anything.

He went on, "He spat on his hand, rubbed his spit around my arsehole, and then pushed his cock into me."

"Did you try to stop him?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I think..." He paused again, collecting his thoughts. "I think by then, I was expecting it. Waiting for it to happen. I think I'd sort of mentally prepared myself for it and... well... to be honest, it was the natural next step, wasn't it?"

"So you wanted him to do it?"

He looked unsure. "I wouldn't say I wanted it. It's not something I like that much anyway. But if he hadn't have done it, I suppose I'd have wondered why."

"Did he enjoy it?"

"Of course he did. He was sweating like a pig and grunting. The bed was making a hell of a noise – the headboard was banging against the wall. I'm sure my parents must have woken up and heard us at it."

"Did either of them mention anything?"

"No, but my dad gave me a funny look in the morning. That was all."

I picked up my pen again and toyed with the lid, rotating it on the shaft. I asked him, "So that became a regular thing?"

He nodded. "After that, it was what we did. He'd come into my room, get into bed with me, we'd hug and I'd play with him 'til he got hard, then I'd suck him and, after a few minutes, he'd turn me over and... well... screw me, basically."

I suppressed a smile. After all that he'd done and he'd told me, he still felt too shy to say the f-word to his GP.

"But even after all that," I said, "I'm still not convinced that he might be gay. Perhaps it's something that he wants to do with you as his brother but not other men. I don't know why he'd want to have a sexual relationship with his brother – I suppose we'd have to leave his motives to a psychologist. But he's probably totally straight in –"

"Yeah, I was thinking exactly the same thing," he interrupted me. "Six months ago, I was thinking it was just some bizarre way of him showing me that he loved me. But then..."

He tailed off so I prompted him with, "Something happened during the summer?"

Dominic nodded. "I was seeing a guy at university called Nigel. He was a bit drippy, a bit too academic for me, but kind of fun to be around. We had similar senses of humour but the relationship wasn't too serious.

"Anyway," he went on, "I brought him back home for a couple of nights, primarily to get it into my mum's head that I really am gay because she'd developed this embarrassing habit of trying to pair me up with her friends' daughters.

"Michael took an instant shine to Nigel. He was openly flirting with him. I'd never seen him behave like that - it was totally bizarre!"

"Did Nigel know about you and Michael?" I asked.

"Of course not! As far as he was concerned, Michael was a happily engaged, big butch straight policeman. That was all I'd told him."

"So what happened?"

"After all the flirting and surreal double entendres, I mentioned Michael's odd behaviour to Nigel but he just said something like, 'He's pretty cool!', so I left it there. I just thought maybe Michael was trying to prove to me that he was comfortable about being around my partner but was doing it in a weird way.

"Anyway, on the second night of us staying there, I woke up at about two in the morning and Nigel was missing from my room. At first I thought he must be in the loo, but then I heard low muffled sounds coming from Michael's room. I crept out of bed and onto the landing and pushed Michael's door open slightly."

He paused at the unpleasantness of the memory, before going on. "They were so into what they were doing that they didn't even hear me open the door."

"What were they doing?"

"At that particular moment, Michael was on all fours with his arse sticking up and Nigel's face was feasting on it like he hadn't eaten in days. That's one thing I can say for Nigel: he might have been a bit stuffy and formal, but – Christ – he knew ways of having fun with other guys that I hadn't dreamed of until I met him!"

I smiled.

"So did you interrupt them?"

"No. I just stood in the doorway and watched them. Watched how much Michael was enjoying himself. I was amazed that he let Nigel... you know... screw him, and then that he sucked Nigel's cock. I mean, he'd never done anything like that with me. And he kept telling Nigel to stop or slow down to delay his climax. Again, when he was with me, he just went at it like he wanted to get it over with as soon as possible."

"Were you a little jealous?"

He considered the question. "I was pissed off that Nigel had sneaked out of my bed to go and shag my brother but I wouldn't say –"

"I meant were you jealous of Nigel..."

He stared at me. "What do you mean?"

"Were you upset by the fact that Michael was being so much more... demonstrative with Nigel?"

Dominic shrugged. "I dunno. I was a little humiliated I guess."

"But isn't it obvious that Michael – assuming now that he is gay – would be much more eager to explore his sexuality with someone other than you? That he was just having a taste of a homosexual coupling with you because, as his brother, you were most accessible? But that also, as his brother, there were clear limits as to how far he could go with you?"

"He screwed me. What limits are you talking about?"

I nodded. "He screwed you, yes. But it was all very passionless and brief. You didn't devour one another's bodies the way that he and Nigel did."

"He tried to kiss me the first couple of times."

"But you rejected him. You set a clear boundary that you weren't prepared to do anything with him that might imply an emotional dimension to your sexual relationship, and then you both kept your activities together within that boundary."

"So why didn't he try and satisfy me? You know, try to pleasure me instead of it all being so one-sided?"

"Did you ever ask him or try to manoeuvre things that way?"

"Yeah, but he always resisted it... it was only his cock that mattered, or that's how it seemed."

I spent a few moments considering why that might have been.

"Perhaps," I said at length, "it comes back to biological necessity. Michael wanted to have sex another male from adolescence but until you declared yourself as being gay, he could see no way of achieving that. Especially as he works for the police..."

Dominic nodded.

"When he saw the opportunity to experiment with another male," I went on, "he took it, even though you're his younger brother. He didn't reciprocate your attentions because, as his brother, he doesn't actually fancy you. That's reasonable isn't it?"

He shrugged. "I suppose. So what you're saying is that Michael wanted to screw a guy, and I happened to be the most available."

I nodded. "I wouldn't put it so crudely myself, of course."

He smiled. "Of course."

I asked him, "Does he still come into your room when you're at home?"

"Rarely... hardly ever, actually. He has other outlets now."

I was intrigued. "Such as?"

He hesitated before saying, "Again, this is confidential, okay?"

I nodded.

He went on, "I'm no angel, Dr Wallace, and I wouldn't claim to be. Sometimes I... you know... go looking for some fun in the toilets in the mall. That kind of stuff."

"That's very dangerous, Dominic," I said, trying not to sound too strict or too prude. "You could end up messing your life up if you got caught doing that."

"Yeah... I know. I'm careful." He continued, "Anyway, one day I peeped over the top of cubicle at something going on and... well... I saw Michael getting stuck in. Or to be more accurate, some guy getting stuck into Michael."

I raised my eyebrows. "I wonder what his fiancιe would say."

He shrugged. "I'm not going to be the one to tell her."

I looked over at the clock. My next appointment should have been with me half an hour ago.

I said, drawing my papers together in an act that for most people signified the conclusion of the consultation, "Well, I'd agree with you, Dominic, that your brother is probably gay. What you do about it is really up to you."

"Do you think what we did was wrong? In bed, I mean."

It occurred to me that that was the real reason he was here; to be absolved of the guilt he must have been feeling about what he'd done to Michael and what he'd allowed Michael to do to him.

I said, "I don't think either of you did anything wrong. You helped your older brother take the first step to understanding his sexuality – he clearly hasn't fully come to terms with things yet, but you helped him along the way. Surely that's something to feel proud of..."

"You think so?" His eyes were suddenly much brighter.

I smiled and nodded. "Of course. You did him a hell of a favour. The kind of favour anyone would want a brother to do for them..."

He smiled. "I guess that's true. I mean, when you put it like that."

"That's the way you're going to have to think of it, otherwise you'll end up tearing yourself apart for the sake of something that didn't hurt either of you and, by all accounts, probably did one of you a lot of good."

He nodded and stood up. "Maybe I should have a talk with him. I mean, try and get him to accept how he feels. Persuade him to call things off with Shauna."

I shrugged. "That's up to you. I wouldn't dare advise you on that."

"But it's not fair that she doesn't know. He needs to tell her."

I nodded. "Quite so. But whether that should come from you or whether he needs to work that out for himself is something I wouldn't dare speculate on..."

He nodded, smiled and then walked to the door. "Well, I'll let you know what happens."

I smiled back. "Make sure you do."

And then he let himself out.