East Side Prep

Chapter XV

We got to David’s apartment and bolted the door. David instructed James to use the peephole if the doorbell rang, and to call the police if it was Steve or Johnson.
“Where did you get that switchblade?” I asked David.
“I bought it back in freshman year, right after I was raped. I carried it for a long time, but never had to use it. I started carrying it again after Steve made his first threat, just in case he or Johnson tried to make good on it.”
“Dave, if you didn’t have it...”
“They would have raped us. They were smart enough to know that we might risk our own lives, but not each other’s.”
“What are we going to do?” I cried.
“First, we’re going to hold each other for a few minutes and calm down. After that, we’ll think of something.”
It felt so good to be safe in David’s strong arms again, after what had almost happened. I could feel his heart beating with a fear that matched my own.
“What will they do to us when they see the pictures?” I asked.
“Are you sure that you want me to tell you? Can you take it?”
“Tell me. I’ll find out soon enough anyway.”
“The first thing you’ll notice on Monday is that everybody will back away from you as if you had the plague. There will be graffiti on your locker saying “Faggot” or an obscene drawing of you and me. The worst part is that even your best friends may turn on you. Gay guys are sometimes the worst, because they’re afraid of being discovered themselves. Jack might spit in your face. Danny might call you names.

 You’ll have to be very careful. You can’t use the bathroom in school any more; someone could easily rape you in there. Once a week you’ll have to use the locker room to change for Phys Ed. You could be gang raped by your whole class. It’s happened before, to that sophomore, Tony. If you’re lucky, one or two of your friends might stick by you and watch your back, but you can’t count on it. It might not be so bad this year, because you’ll still have me to protect you, for whatever that’s going to be worth now. Your next three years will be like a prison sentence.”
“Oh Dave,” I cried, “Isn’t there anything that we can do?”
“There’s only one thing that I can think of. Blame it on me. Say that I forced you to kiss me. Say that I was blackmailing you or something. I’d much rather spend a few months as the school faggot than see you suffer for three years.”
“You know that I would never do that to you; we’re in this thing together. Besides, look at these pictures. The way I feel about you is written all over my face. Nobody would ever believe that you were forcing me to do anything.”
“You’re right. It was a stupid idea. But Mike, it’s the only thing I can think of!” “I need a drink.” I said.
“I’ll make us both one.” David said.
I took a sip of my scotch and soda. All of a sudden, I had an idea.
“Dave do you remember when we saw Mr. Powers at the Plaza? Maybe he can help us!”
“Yeah, he can give us an armed guard to take you to class for the next three years.” He said sarcastically.”
“Maybe he could call an assembly and speak to them about gay rights.” I said.
“Or maybe, maybe he could let us talk to them. We could throw ourselves on their mercy. Mike, if we did that, at least they’d have to give us credit for our courage! We could talk about the hypocrisy of the whole situation. A lot of them are fucking around with other guys and they might be sympathetic. We won’t deny anything or try to hide; we’ll pour our hearts out to them. We’ll make them understand us.”
“How about the dance? They’ll all have seen the pictures by then.” I asked.
“How much courage do you have?”
“I won’t have to wear a dress, will I?” We both laughed. It felt good.
“You’ll walk in there on my arm and dance with me. We’ll make the social round once, have one dance, and leave. It’s dangerous. We might get beat up, but at least they would have to respect our courage. What do you think?”
“I’d be willing to walk through Hell as long as I had you by my side.” I said.
“That’s just what we’ll be doing, taking a walk through Hell together.”
That night was the longest of my life. We didn’t go out, and neither of us could concentrate on the television. We just sat on the couch and held each other. The funny thing was that as frightened as we both were, neither one of us had ever felt closer to another human being in our lives.

* * * *

The next morning we awoke to a cold, gray winter day. The smell of snow was in the air. The dreariness outside did little to lift our spirits. How would we ever make it until nine o’clock?
“Mike, are you sorry that you ever met me? I’d understand it if you were.”
“How can you even ask me such a thing? My life began the day you fell in love with me. How about you, if you had it all to do over, would you still be in this mess with me? Don’t forget, most of this is my fault. I broke my truce with Steve.”
“I wouldn’t change a thing. My life was so empty and lonely before I met you; I don’t think that I could live without you now. Promise me that no matter what happens, you’ll never leave me.”
“Is that a proposal?” I smiled.
“Let’s just call it an understanding. You know me; when I propose to you I want to do it first class.”
“I love you, Dave; I’ll never leave you.”
“I’ll never leave you either. I want to be with you forever.” We kissed. I now knew that whatever else happened, the dream that I hardly dared to dream would come true. Someday I would be Michael Donovan.

David stared at me for a minute and said, “Sometimes I look at you and realize how much you’ve changed since we met, and I wonder if I’ve been selfish. I’ve encouraged you to mature quickly because I’m mature for my age. I’ve lived on my own for so long now that I’m seventeen going on twenty-five. I’ve made you fifteen going on twenty-five; I’ve cheated you out of your adolescence.”
“If that’s the price I had to pay to be with you it was well worth it, and if I had it to do over I would do the exact same thing. No matter what happens, it was all worth it as long as I have you.” The phone rang and David answered it, and motioned me to put my ear close to the receiver. It was Steve.

“I’m calling to give you faggots one more chance to accept my offer. I’m going to start handing out the pictures at seven-thirty. Just think of the reception you’ll get at the dance! Are you sure that you don’t want to pay my price?”
“Fuck you! Hand out the pictures, and if you pussy out I’ll take our copies and hang them on the bulletin board myself! Mike and I are sick of living a lie. We’re in love and proud of it!” He hung up loudly.
David’s words awakened a rage in me that I had been pushing aside for months.

“I am sick of living a lie,” I said. “You’re right. I’ve been angry all along that we’ve had to hide our love; I just never put the feeling into words the way you just did. Do you know how many times I wanted to brag that you love me and couldn’t? The whole damn school knows that we’re fucking, and that’s ok. I’m popular because everybody knows that you’re fucking me. As long as it’s dirty and sordid it’s ok, but we’re not allowed to love each other. If those were pictures of me sucking your dick, that would be fine I suppose. We can fuck but we can’t kiss; what kind of bullshit is that anyway! I’m glad this happened now. That asshole Steve actually did us a favor. I’ve been so busy being scared and feeling sorry for myself that I never thought about the injustice of it all. What an idiot I’ve been! Why shouldn’t I be allowed to walk into that dance as your date? I’m proud that you love me! What do you think of that, Dave?”
“I couldn’t have said it any better myself, but I think we’re both teenagers going on twenty-six now.”

Chapter XVI

We took a taxi the few blocks to the school. We thought that it would be safer than walking under the circumstances. We arrived at nine o’clock, in order to make a grand entrance. We were both dressed to the nines and both wore bright red ties and red carnations in our lapels, not only to symbolize Valentine’s Day and our love, but also to symbolize the invisible scarlet letter that we now both wore. As we walked into the crowded gymnasium, people backed away from us as though we were lepers. I put my arm through David’s to make it obvious to everyone that I was his date. Steve was waiting near the door, and yelled, “Faggots!” The look that David gave him silenced him immediately. Of all people, the first person to greet us was Danny, my shy little Danny! He came over, looked into my eyes, and embraced me.

“Danny, no; they’ll call you a faggot! I don’t want to drag you down with me!” I said.
“You talked to me when I was unpopular, and anybody that hates you is no friend of mine anyway!” I had to blink back the tears. He went to David and embraced him too.
“You’ll never know how much this means to Mike, or to me.” David said, choking back the lump in his throat.
“Come with me, guys,” Danny said. As we followed him, the crowd parted before us like the Red Sea. Danny led us to where Brian, Jack, and Tom were standing. To a man, they all embraced us. Our real friends were standing by us.

“Jason left. He couldn’t bring himself to face you, but he said to tell you how sorry he was. He was crying when he left. He didn’t have any idea that Steve was going to do this, I’m sure of it.” Brian said.
“I don’t blame Jason”, David said, “He’s not responsible for what his brother does. Tell him that I still consider him my friend if you talk to him. If you’ll excuse us, Mike and I are going to take one walk around the room, have a dance, and leave.”
“You’re going to dance together?” They said in a chorus.
“Would you guys wait for us by the door and escort us to a cab? We don’t want to get beat up unless it’s absolutely necessary.”
“Of course we will,” Brian said.

We continued our walk around the room. The crowd continued to part before us, and guys who had been our friends only the day before looked at us with hatred and disgust in their eyes. At one point, a wad of spit landed on my neck and startled me. In a gesture that I can only describe as chivalrous, David took an immaculate starched white handkerchief from his pocket and wiped it off for me, took my arm again, and continued our walk. As we finished our promenade, Mr. Powers approached us. There was no mistaking the gleam in his eyes. It was pure admiration.
“Gentlemen; I have rarely if ever seen such a display of courage and dignity. Bravo!”
I smiled. “You didn’t think we had it in us, did you, sir.”
“Not many men do, Mr. Sheridan. May I be of any assistance to you?”
“Yes sir; I request permission for Mike and myself to address the student body on Monday morning.” David said.
“Permission granted; I’ll call an assembly for nine o’clock. What are your plans for the rest of this evening?”
“We’re going to have one dance and go home.” David said. I saw the admiration in Mr. Powers’ eyes double. He grabbed the arm of a passing sophomore.
“Go to the band and tell them to play a slow dance”, he said. The sophomore guessed what was about to happen and glared at us. “That was an order Mr. Pierce; do it immediately!” The command seemed to blow him across the room; under no circumstance would a student at East Side Prep disobey Mr. Powers.

The band quickly ended the song they were playing and broke into Babe by Styx. David bowed to me gallantly and said, “May I have this dance, Michael.”
“I would be honored, sir.” I answered. David took my hand and led me on to the dance floor. I could hear an angry growl rise from the crowd. The other couples left the floor, and David and I danced alone. I put my head on David’s shoulder.
“This reminds me of a scene from another Bette Davis movie I saw.” David whispered.
“Jezebel”, I said, “The other couples left the dance floor because she wore a red dress to the ball.”
“Well, we’re wearing red ties. Maybe that’s why they hate us.” David joked.

The dance ended and David led me from the dance floor. Mr. Powers met us.
“How are you gentlemen planning to go home?” He asked.
“We’re taking a taxi, sir. Our friends are waiting at the door to see us out.”
“I need a breath of fresh air. I shall escort you to the taxi myself.” Having Mr. Powers escort us outside was as good as having a bulletproof vest. No one would dare start anything in his presence. He walked us outside and waited until we were in the cab and on our way.
“Until Monday morning then, gentlemen.”
“Mr. Powers, we can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done for us.” David said.
“Not at all; any two men with the courage that you displayed tonight deserve a helping-hand.”

Chapter XVII

“I need to get drunk.” David said as we walked into the apartment. “Care to join me?”
“I’ve never been drunk before. But then again, I’ve never been the school faggot before either. Let’s get drunk.”
“Get two shot glasses and the bottle of scotch; I’ll get the beer.” David said.
We sat down on the couch and David poured us each a shot of scotch.
“Good Luck”, he toasted.
“We need it”, I replied. We both downed the scotch, and I started choking. David laughed and slapped me on the back a couple of times.
“Don’t worry. That happens to everybody the first time they drink a shot of whiskey.”
“Now I know why they call it fire water.” I said weakly as I reached for my beer. After a few minutes, I felt a pleasant buzz.
“How do you think it went?” David asked.
“I don’t know. At least our friends stood by us. Did you feel that hatred from the others though? They wanted to kill us. I don’t know if they’ll ever like us again.”
“It’s never going to be like it was before.” David said. “The best that we can hope for is that they’ll have enough respect for us that they won’t abuse us. You’ll never be the big man on campus again, but as long as they leave you alone, your next three years will be bearable. Jack and Danny are still your friends, and you’ll still have me after school and on weekends. Let’s have another shot.” The whiskey went down easier this time.

“Dave, ever since yesterday all you’ve done is worry about me. In one day, you’ve gone from being the most popular guy in school to being an outcast. You’ve lost everything that you worked so hard for the last four years. It must hurt.”
“Not really; I’m going to be graduating soon anyway, and I still have you and my real friends. I’ve had my fun, and I’m ready to move on. What hurts is that I wanted to pass my popularity on to you. That can never happen now. I’ll be happy if I can just keep you safe. My life with you is the only thing that I care about now.”
“You’re the most unselfish person I’ve ever known.” I said.
“It’s easy to be unselfish when the only person in the world who has ever loved you is in danger. You are the only one who has ever loved me, you know. Even my own mother doesn’t.”
“Oh Dave, I’m sure that’s not true.”
“Haven’t you ever wondered why I live alone in this apartment?”
“Honestly, yes I have. I figured that you would tell me if you wanted to.”
“You’re the only person in the world who I do want to tell. My father died in an accident when I was four years old. Here’s his picture.” He pulled out his wallet and handed me a black and white photograph.
“That’s you, Dave!” I exclaimed.
“I could be his twin. That’s part of the problem. After my father died, my mother couldn’t stand to look at me. She loved my father and I brought back too many painful memories. A governess raised me while my mother traveled through Europe. When I was young, she at least came back for Christmas, but when I was twelve, she married a baron and settled in England. She even had another baby. His name is Edward. He’s cute, five years old, and I hate him! I know it’s wrong to hate a little boy but I can’t help it. My mother loves him as much as she never loved me, and it makes me sick.”

“Mike, swear you’ll never leave me! Nobody else has ever been able to love me, and nobody else ever will! You don’t know what it’s like to be alone, really truly alone. This apartment used to be my prison until you made it our home, and my money never made me happy until I had you to share it with me. I’d give it all up in a second if you asked me to; I’d wait tables to support the two of us and live in a tenement just as long as I could come home to you at the end of the day. I love you so much, Mike. I...” He broke down in tears.

I took him in my arms and comforted him while he cried. For the first time, I really understood him. The way he spoiled me, his protectiveness, his willingness to sacrifice himself for me, even his tough façade, they all made sense now. David had been starved of love and affection for most of his life, and now he was terrified that I would abandon him the way his mother had. I remembered that first day in the locker room, the tough act, trying to force me to have sex with him despite his aversion to rape and then giving me every chance to back out. Whether or not he realized it, he wasn’t really trying to force me to have sex at all; he was trying to force me to love him. The first thing he did that day wasn’t to make me suck his dick or to fuck me; he took me in his arms and kissed me. The irony was that all this time while David was going out of his way to build my self-esteem and make me feel secure, he was more insecure than I ever was. If only I had known!

“I’ll never leave you; I swear it on my life. Don’t you realize that I need your love as much as you need mine? Look into my eyes, Dave; I love you, and as long as I live, you’ll never be alone. All those empty, lonely years you spent are over forever, I swear it. I’m here to stay. You couldn’t get rid of me if you tried!”
“Oh God, I love you Mike; I love you more than my own life!” He sobbed. I held him in my arms and let him cry for a few more minutes.
“Dave, I’m scared too. What will happen if I have to be the school faggot for three years? They’ll rape me for sure, probably on a regular basis. I never want to be with anybody but you!” I sobbed. “Will you still be able to love me if they turn me into their whore like they did to that poor guy Tony?”

David pulled himself together quickly and took my hands in his. “Now you look into my eyes. I’m not going to let that happen. You’ll never be the school faggot, and you’ll never be with another man as long as you live. Do you believe me?” I had never seen such determination on anybody’s face.
“I believe you. No, it’s more than that; I believe in you. I know that you’ll save me if it’s humanly possible, but what if it isn’t? Will you still be able to love me if I come home one day and tell you that every guy in my class has fucked me?”
“I was gang raped; have you ever loved me any less because of it? Would you love me any less if it happened to me again? You know you wouldn’t! I love you, Mike. Nothing they do to you can ever change that, or make me think any less of you, and no matter what happens I’ll love you until the day I die.”

“Dave, I need you tonight more than I ever have before. Will you make love to me?” He started kissing me with a strength that I had never felt before, and I kissed him back with equal passion. He picked me up and carried me to the bedroom. We started pulling each other’s clothes off while we kissed. “That’s it Dave, don’t hold back, I need to feel your strength!” We lay down on the bed and started going at it like a couple of wild animals. We got into a sixty-nine position and started sucking each other’s dicks. After a few minutes, he pulled his dick away from me, threw my legs over his shoulders, and pushed himself deep inside of me. “Oh, yes Dave! This is what I need! I need to feel your strength! I’m not strong like you are. You’re my strength!”

“Say it again, Mike. Tell me you’ll never leave me!” He panted, as he thrusted into, and then withdrew partially from me.
“I’ll be yours forever, I swear it. You’ll never be alone again! You’ll have to kill me to get rid of me!”
“I’ll never let them touch you. You’ll never be with anybody but me, and you’ll belong to me for the rest of your life no matter what happens!” He said, as he put his lips to my neck and gave me his mark.
As usual, we came at the same time. It was the most intense orgasm either one of us had ever experienced. After we finished, I made love to him. It was just as intense.