High School Heartache Part 3

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RING…RING…RING
The phone awoke Ethan, who grabbed it and looked over at his clock. It was now 9:00 p.m.
“Hello?” Ethan sounded groggy in the receiver.
“Where the fuck were you today??” Joi responded
“With Shawn! Why?”
“You didn’t get the invitations for my birthday out! Exams begin tomorrow and we can’t get the invites out now!”

Ethan was supposed to plan a B-Day party for Joi since her parents were unwilling to do so.
“SHIT! I’m so sorry Joi!”
“Yea! Sure! I have serious trouble believing you! So fucking wrapped up in lover boy’s arms that you forgot about your BEST FRIEND! GOD! I though you were less selfish than that!”
“I’m really sorry Joi! Honest I am!”
“It doesn’t matter anyways; people probably wouldn’t come because of exams!”
“Don’t say that! I’m really sorry about it Joi! I’ll make it up to you, I promise!”
“Look. I don’t want to hear it. I just called to give you a heads up that our Social Studies exam is going to be 300 questions and complete memorization! I have to go! Bye”

Joi hung up the phone before Ethan could say anything else. He pressed the off button on his cordless and sat on his bed seething. Why the hell did he let Shawn come in the way of his best friend? Why did he let her down? WHAT THE HELL WAS HE THINKING? As these thoughts ran through his head, the phone rang again. It was a number he didn’t recognize and answered the phone quite cautiously.

“Hello?”
“Hey Ethan, it’s Shawn!”
“Oh! What’s up?”
“Well, I was thinking about what happened last night and…”
“And what, exactly?”
“Can I come over?”
“Yeah, I guess. But please tell me why!”
“We need to talk!”

Shawn said those last four words and hung up the phone. Ethan’s mouth went dry. As he waited for Shawn’s arrival, all he could think of was Tyler. Tyler this, Tyler that, and how much he was praying that Shawn wasn’t going to pull the same shit as Tyler.

DING DONG…DING DONG

Ethan walked to the door and opened it to see Shawn standing on his door step. He walked past Ethan into the hall and then into the living room. So much for politeness, Ethan thought.
“What do you want Shawn?”
“I want to tell you something. Sit down!”

Ethan took a seat on the couch next to Shawn and stared deep into his eyes. Ethan always appreciated Shawn’s eyes but had never seen them so sad looking.
“Look Ethan, I think you’re one of the kindest people I know, and I don’t want to hurt you! I just think that this whole thing moved way too fast and I’m sorry but I don’t think it’s healthy for either or us.”

Ethan looked into Shawn’s eyes and took a deep breath. Time stood still until streams of tears started running down his face. Ethan looked at Shawn again, trying to say something but the words just wouldn’t come. How could he have done this? First he disappointed Joi with it all and now Shawn was leaving him? How does this kind of shit hit you all at once? Ethan started breathing rapidly and the next thing he knew, everything was black.

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“ETHAN! ETHAN! Wake up!” Shawn’s voice came from what sounded like miles away. Slowly light started to creep into his eyes and then he thrust them open to see Shawn kneeling over him with a look of terror on his face.
“What happened?”
“Who knows? It looks like you hyperventilated!”
“Oh!” The memory of what Shawn had said came rushing back to him and Ethan did a complete emotional 180 and looked at Shawn with a sense of disgust.
“Look Ethan, I still care for you! It’s just -”
“I don’t care what it’s just Shawn. Get the fuck out and leave me alone!”

Shawn let himself out, Ethan still lying on the floor, looking up at the ceiling. He got up and climbed the stairs to his room and collapsed on his bed. He had only been asleep for an hour when the phone rang again. Was his house grand fucking central fucking station? Ethan ignored the phone and rolled over and went back to sleep feeling worse than he did four hours ago.

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“I told you that nobody could love you! You’re a fucking fag that nobody likes, and that’s how you’ll always be!” Tyler shouted
“NO! You’re wrong!” Ethan lunged at Tyler but he disappeared and appeared behind Ethan.
“You can’t touch me! Don’t you get it! You created me. You made me who I am. You made me!”
“NO! THAT’S NOT TRUE! IT CAN’T BE!”
“Oh but it is Ethan…RING RING…oh but it is…RING RING!”

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Ethan awoke to another phone call.
“WHAT NOW?”
“Whoa! Calm down big boy!”

It was Shawn, and Ethan had no desire to talk to him whatsoever.
“What do you want?”
“To see how you’re feeling after you found out that you meant nothing to me. You were a good fuck though!”

Ethan slammed down the phone and retreated to his bed, crying harder than he ever had before.

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The next day was all a fog to Ethan. He felt like he was walking around in a haze. He got up, put on some dirty clothes strewn over his bedroom floor and walked out the door to school. He had a short Student Council meeting after school and would be home after that. The idea of coming home was all that kept him going through the day.

The walk to school was the same as always. Walk across the street, cut across the field and walk another two blocks. Why did it seem longer today? Ethan walked into the school and caught a glimpse of his reflection in the glass door, he looked like shit.

“What the hell happened to you?” asked Joi.
“Hell! That’s what!” Ethan replied.
“Well we have English today. Not too terrible! I mean, it’s only reading comp! You gonna be okay?”

Ethan had totally forgotten that it was exam time and he had a test today!
“I guess I’m going to have to be!”

Just as the last word escaped his mouth, the doors to the gym flew open and the students were ushered in to their exams.

As Ethan flipped through the exam, all he could think about was Shawn. Shawn had nothing to do with the test and after the minimum hour was up, Ethan handed in his blank test page and left. As he crossed the street, he heard a voice behind him.

“Ethan! Ethan! Wait up!”
It was Joi; he knew it had to be.
“I am! What?” Ethan responded
“How did you do?”
“I didn’t! What about you?”
“What do you mean you didn’t?”
“Exactly what I said! I have to get home, I’ll call you later!”

Ethan walked away as fast as his legs would carry him. It wasn’t his job to talk to Joi about his exam was it? Nor was it her business to be asking! These thoughts all ran through his head like a sharp blade until he walked up his front steps and forgot to unlock the door and walked right into it.

“Shit! The Student Council Meeting! Awww…fuck it!”

Ethan walked into his home and went up stairs to his room and fell into a sleep where his thoughts haunted him. The pain that Tyler had inflicted upon him multiplied when those words escaped Shawn’s mouth.

Ethan awoke to the sound of rain on his window. He looked outside and realized it was raining in the middle of January. The roads were going to be a mess. Ethan flicked on the radio and the voice of Wynonna Judd came over the speakers. Ethan remembered this song from his child hood, and it hit him with such force that he started to sob uncontrollably.

“I remember the rain on the roof that morning
and all the things that I wanted to say
and the angry words that came
from nowhere without warning
that stole the moment and sent me away
and you standin’ there in the doorway crying
And me wonderin’ if I’d ever be back”

“I said I didn’t come here to leave you”
Ethan jumped off his bed and threw his back pack on the floor and ripped off his sheets. He lunged at his wall and yanked down his posters. He threw himself at his book shelf and knocked it over, sending its contents flying. His actions all made sense to him at that time as he screamed at the top of his lungs. All he could think was “Yes, Shawn. You did come here to leave me. Yes you did come here to leave me. Yes you did come here to leave me!”

As Ethan rustled through his toolbox, the song slowly continued on.

“And I remember the road just went on forever
I just couldn’t seem to turn that car around
‘til in the distance like a long lost treasure
The phone booth that just could not be found”

Ethan found what he was looking for and headed for the bathroom.

“And you standing in the doorway waiting
and the moment when we lay back down
that was just a moment in time
and one we’ll never forget
But one we can leave behind
‘cause when there is doubt
You’ll remember I said”

He started running hot water and locked the door behind him. He didn’t know why he did it, he just did. Maybe it was an impulse, not that it mattered anymore. He just didn’t care. The song continued on in the background.

“I said I didn’t come here to leave you”
Ethan grabbed for the object he pulled out of his toolbox, a razor blade his Grandpa bought him to use for wood work.
“I didn’t come here to lose”

Ethan made the first gash on his wrist and run it under the hot water to cauterize the wound.
“I didn’t come here believin’ I would ever be away from you”
Ethan made the second gash on his other wrist and followed the same routine as he did with the other cut.
“I didn’t come here to find out there’s a weakness in my faith”

Ethan made one deep cut in his right wrist and tried to stop the bleeding, but it continued.
“I was brought here by the power of love”

The world started to fade, as did the sound of the song as it came to an end. Ethan fell to the floor hitting his head on the ledge of the bathtub, just as the song came to an end.
“Love by grace”

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Sorry it’s been so long since my last posting! Been really busy lately! Lots of stuff going on in my life and writing hasn’t been at the top of my list! Let me know what you think! I can’t fix the writing problems I have if I don’t know what they are; so as always, REVIEW!!! Hope you enjoyed this chapter! I also need to let you know that the song Ethan was listening to at the end was “Love by Grace by Wynonna Judd”!