I really Love Him

Well this is the story of my best friend and me and well... you'll see...

My name is Jack, I'm british and I'm 19 and, due to family reasons, I've lived in south-america almost all my life. Yeah yeah... I know many of you think this place is a jungle or something like that, but as a matter of fact it isn't, and is quite cold actually, and where I live is kind of advanced in tech even if it's hard to believe.

I'm 5'8'' and fit, blond hair and green eyes. I like to go to the gym but I've never intended to grow to much in muscles so I suppose I'm average in size but quite shaped.

One day, working out at the gym I had a little accident and broke a toe, so I was told to go home and rest for about a month. Yet I got bored being all alone from the start, my mom is at work all day long and my dad doesn't live with us. Anyways, one week later of boredom I received a call.

-hello..- I answered with the voice of a zombie..
-man, we've not heard from each other in almost 3 years and you answer like that? ha ha ha-

It was one of the most melodic voices I've heard (oh right, I study classic piano and music composition at college, so it's no wonder I like to hear the voice of people).

-Who is this?- I asked
-Is Jonathan, have you forgotten about me already?-
-No way!!! Dude long time no see!!!-

Jonathan was a friend of mine from school, funny thing was that we never noticed each others presence until our last year there, we just happened to say hi one day at class and then we used to talk from time to time. Back then I was so concentrated with music and piano that I didn't have much friends, actually none (though no one never did bully me since I had quite a temper) and we weren't that close as best friends are, but we could trust each other. After that both of us got to different colleges and never talked to each other.

-Yeah I know- he said all cheerfully- hey are you free this afternoon? we need to catch up on our lives!!-
-well I don't know... let me see my schedule- I watched my foot all covered in bandages- yeah... I think I'm free... but I need to stay at home so why don't you come?-
-sure, I'll be there in 5-

I was happy, finally something to do. Some time later I heard the bell, so got up from bed and walked as if my foot was ok, it didn't hurt anymore after all.

When I opened the door I was amazed with the sight. I did remember he was handsome, and he had the fame of heartbreaker at school, but the guy in front of me was totally hot!.

Jonathan is 5'9 and he's 20, dark hair and dark eyes, he's fit as me and he does almost the same training at the gym so his body is marked as mine just a bit more muscular. His looks and the way he dressed were so elegant yet juvenile, and it actually looked so good on him. But what I found most attractive was his voice the second he greeted me.

-Jack!- he said with a smooth, and delicious melodic voice.
-J-Jonathan?-
-Dude if you close your mouth the world will still have the same colours- he said when he realised I was staring at him with my mouth wide open.
-I-I'm sorry, is just that you're looking quite stunning-

-Well you've grown too.. what happened to your foot? It looks bad!!! why are you even up!? go and lay down!!! what happened after all?-
-Geez what are you my mom?.... Accident at gym, you know how this things are right?-
-Well you've always been the clumsy one...-
-yeah right... and you've always been the annoying guy-

We laughed at each other comments. We spent a good time together, watched some TV (we both are kind of anime fans and lots of geek stuff, but oddly he's always been the cool kind of guy, probably because of his looks and love for sports, so he was never bullied) and talked for a long long time and ordered a pizza.

-Jack...- he said - I wanted to talk to you about something-
-yeah? what is it?-
-look I'm doing some projects right now, you know I study marketing and publicity right? well I was searching for a musician to score some of my videos and stuff...-

-In other words you talked back to me because you need a musician, that sounds fun-
-dude it sounds terrible if you say it like that and that's not what I wanted to say... I thought of you because I thought it would be... well... fun working with you again... and I would like to become friends with you again...-

I was surprised, he really meant that, his eyes were so sincere and he looked so determined that he made me blush just from his intense gaze.

-W-well, sure it does sound fun, and besides... we'll talk again like in old times... I think I would like that...-

He smiled happily, and there I saw an other thing I got to like about him, his sincere smile.

After that we spent almost everyday together, laughing and chatting, and working of course and our relationship became stronger than ever.

Of course I thought he was handsome and all, but I liked girls too (although I never felt any of my relationships was fulfilling) so I though it was just a liking for his looks, nothing more, But as each day went by, I began to feel different.

He told me about all his studies and how they are all payed by his college because of his grades, and he told me about his family issues and stuff like that. To resume all of it (I won't get in any details being respectful to him) he has a lot of problems, but with hard work and just will he's being able to endure. His mother (because his parents are divorced just like mine) told me everything as well, and she's even cried in my shoulder, we became like brothers.

I was amazed by him, I've never met someone like that and slowly I began to admire him more and more, but suddenly I realised I couldn't stop thinking about him. I wanted to be by his side, to be able to help him in every way I could and to help him shine, but most of all, I began to wonder if he would actually think of me the same way, if he thought of me as close as I thought he was to me.

And then more ideas popped into my head, I wanted him to be happy with anyone he wanted more than anything in the world, but... maybe... how would it feel if he kissed me... to feel his soft lips against mine.... I would close my eyes as he would close his, just concentrating on our touch and each of our breathing.... or maybe... how would it feel if he embraced me like a lover... his warm body hugging me... his beautiful, melodic voice whispering softly to my ear "I love you Jack... I love you...", I would feel like I could live over a hundred years... and I would hold him tight... just as he does the same...

I couldn't hold it any longer, my heart was about to explode. So I took a lot of courage and prepared to tell him everything, I knew he was straight, and until not long ago I thought I was too... but I wanted to say everything...

-Hey Jack, how are you today?- he asked as happy and caring as always.
-I'm good, thanks... look Jonathan I need to tell you something...-
-Oh ok... I wanted to tell you something too... but I think you are... kind of more serious than me right now... is everything ok?-

-Y-yeah... you wanted to tell me something?-
-well yeah... hey actually- he said waving his hand somewhere behind me -I wanted you to meet someone- he was cheerfully smiling at someone.

-oh no...-I thought to myself -this must be a joke...-

A beautiful girl came to us, with long brunette hair and blue eyes. I was just saying to myself, what a pathetic soap-opera this was becoming... and yet I already felt my heart turning to pieces...

-Jack... this is Karen... we've been seeing each other for some time now and I wanted you to meet her- said Jonathan
-A pleasure to meet you Jack- she innocently smiled at me...

I couldn't believe it, my heart broke in million pieces. And the worst part was, I thought, for the look on their faces, that they were happy. He was happy.

-Jack...?- said Jonathan when he noticed I went silent.

-o-oh... s-sorry... is a pleasure to meet you... I-I'm... ... I'm Jack...- my voice was trembling, I was in shock.

Both of them looked at me worried, I couldn't get a hold of me... I was devastated and I kept thinking "Come on you dumb ass... get a hold of yourself... you're making a scene here!!! so be a man and endure now!!!"

- I-I'll go and get some coffee, do you want some?- she asked at Jonathan and me...
-yeah... thanks Karen...- said Jonathan with a terribly serious voice, I didn't know what to do.

-you wanted to tell me something Jack... is everything ok?-

"oh no- I thought for myself- what am I going to do now?"

I was silent, I couldn't speak, I couldn't do anything. Suddenly I felt his both hands on my shoulders with a hard grasp.

-Jack!!! What's wrong!? you're making me worry like hell!!! tell me!!!-
- I-I just...- I broke, I couldn't hold it anymore, but this time what I couldn't hold were tears.

Jonathan was looking at me desperately, I could tell he wanted to do something but didn't know what to do...

- I was... going to tell yo that I... that I...- with each word my voice became softer and softer, and then I laid my head upon his chest- that I love you...

And then there was silence, I couldn't stop silently crying, and I knew he was in shock by my words. Until he suddenly and unexpectedly hugged me tightly. I was once again stunned.

-you moron...- he said with a trembling voice and he tightened his hug -don't... you play with me like that...
-w-what?...- I said all confused.

Suddenly he got a hold on me, and kissed me. Yet an other shock, but this time, a less traumatic one. His lips were as I imagined, soft, warm... then he broke the kiss and punched me quite hard...

-YOU DUMB ASS...- he said yelling at me and yet more confusion for my mind - I THOUGHT SOMETHING WORST HAPPENED TO YOU!!! I GOT SO WORRIED... I WANT TO KICK YOUR ASS SO HARD!!! MORON!!!- and he actually punched me quite hard in my chest, but not in a violent way, more of a "I was so worried" kind of way...

- I love you too Jack...- he said and hugged me after a few "worry" punches...

I hugged him back and closed my eyes. Was this a dream?... it all started terribly wrong if it was a dream... yet that time I begged for it to be real...

He kissed me again softly, all that public drama didn't matter anymore... I was just hopping that non of this were a dream...

***

Well guys I hope you enjoyed my story, It didn't have any sex on it and the last part was actually a dream... he's with karen and I'm happy for him... I love him more than you can imagine and seeing him this happy, even if it's not with me is just enough for me... we are as close friends as ever and I'm so grateful for that... he doesn't know I love him yet I still wonder what would it feel to kiss him and hold him... but seeing his smile is what matters most to me... and I'll do all I can to make him smile for ever...

I love him... and for that reason... no mater what happens... I want him to be happy...