It all started when I first saw you: The Aftermath

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BRAD’S POINT OF VIEW

I stepped into my brother’s room to say goodbye before I left. “Okay I’m ready to go, you need anything before I leave?” I had last minute doubts about leaving him, he looked worse than normal tonight. “No, I’m okay, thanks anyway.” I sat for a few more seconds before replying “Okay then, I’ll try not to be long.” “Brad, I meant what I said earlier, just have fun tonight, enjoy your life.” His voice sounded weak but there was something strange about it which I couldn’t put my finger on. “Just promise me you’ll enjoy yourself.” I laughed nervously. “I promise, I’ll see you later okay?” I quickly walked towards him and kissed his forehead. “Bye Brad.” And with those final words I left the apartment.

It was a clear night but the air was cool, I wasn’t really sure where we were going yet, but it didn’t matter to me, as long as I was with Liam, I was going to enjoy myself and keep the promise I made to Peter. I walked quickly and it wasn’t long before I reached the park, I saw Liam sitting waiting for me, he was looking all around him, he looked nervous as he waited for me. I snuck up behind him and placed my hands firmly on his shoulders shocking him “Boo!” He jumped and twisted his whole body to look at me, he took a sigh of relief when he saw me, then let out a slight laugh. “So, where to?” I said to him, hoping he would have a better plan than me. “Ehh, I don’t know, you wanna grab a drink?” Liam looked up at me from the bench where he was sitting, he looked so adorable, but I couldn’t think like that, we were just friends. “Sounds good to me.”

After walking around for a while we found a decent looking club near where I worked, it was another gay bar but a bit more upper class than the one where I worked. We ordered drinks and took them to a table near the back, the atmosphere was good and the music was loud but I could sense we needed to talk. “Listen Brad, I am really sorry about what happened this morning, I don’t know what I was thinking.” I could tell from his face he was sorry, he was ashamed of his actions this morning and probably wished he could take them back. “Listen, honestly it’s okay, you’re here now.” I paused for a moment. “You know, when you left, I just sat there, for hours, waiting, I thought maybe you would come back… I know how stupid it sounds, in fact fuck it, it doesn’t sound stupid it is stupid, fuck I’m so pathetic.” I felt Liam place his hand on my lap again, similar to the way he had touched me this morning, it felt comforting but after this morning I was worried he was going to freak out again. “Don’t say that, you’re not pathetic, I think you’re amazing and I barely know you.” My eyes watered slightly and my bottom lip was shaking but I felt Liam’s hand being placed gently on my chin, he then raised my head slightly so I was looking directly at him his big blue eyes looked directly into mine.

He used one hand to hold my head up before taking his other hand of my lap and using it to gently brushed my face, he used him thumb to rub the tears from beneath my eyes. He smiled at me gently, but then his smile faded away slowly, giving way to a look of curiosity, amazement, he seemed lost in my brown eyes, and I was lost in his. Slowly I felt his thumb glide smoothly along my face, down my cheek and onto my lips, his thumb rested gently on my mouth, keeping me quiet. He then surprised me by leaning forward slowly and closing his eyes. Instinctively I closed my eyes the way he had done. I felt his thumb part from my lips, this quickly saddened me but sadness was replaced by chills when his thumb was replaced by his soft, wet lips, he tasted even better than he had this morning, and it last longer than a couple of seconds. It felt amazing having him kiss me.

His lips pressed against mine and we were simply lip locked, then I felt his tongue invade my mouth, not that I put up much of a fight. His tongue swirled around my welcoming mouth, finding it’s way around, making itself totally familiar with my own tongue. Finally our lips parted and we both took a deep breath of air. I opened my eyes to find him gazing at my shocked face. I laughed nervously which made him laugh. “I’m sorry, I don’t know who came over me… no fuck.. I don’t know what came over me.” Liam lowered his head and I could see his shoulders shaking showing he was laughing. I giggled myself and he looked up at me, still laughing, then we both burst into an uncontrollable fit of laughter eventually when we had both calmed down I finally managed to talk about our kiss. “I don’t know what came over you, but I enjoyed it.” Liam tilted his head to the right in a way that looked adorable and smiled at me. “Me too.” He said quietly.

I continued to smile at Liam as we gazed into each other’s eyes. “Let’s just go.” I said confidently. I slid my hand closer to Liam’s and gently slipped my fingers between his, taking his hand to lead him out of the club. The cold, crisp night air bit us immediately as we stepped outside into the street, the sky was cloudless and a full moon hung effortlessly over us. I smiled as I gazed up at the natural beauty of the world, then smiled even more at the natural beauty of the young man standing in front of me. We walked slowly through the streets occasionally stopping to listen to the music emanating from clubs and bars.

We walked through the all too familiar forest, still holding hands unconsciously at our sides. Our fingers seemed to interlock perfectly and comfortably, like they were made for each other. The sounds of twigs crunching under our feet were unheard over our endless conversation, we talked about anything and everything, but eventually our words turned to each other. “So I was thinking, I don’t really know that much about you for someone I’ve spent so much time with in the last 24 hours.” I asked Liam with an inquisitive tone in my voice, I was trying to dig deeper into him without pushing him away. I kept walking at the same speed, looking straight ahead, trying to act as casual as possible.

I took it as a good sign that Liam did the same, he kept walking as normal without showing any signs of fear, he seemed as calm as he had been. “I guess you’re right. I’m not really sure what to tell you, my life’s pretty boring to be honest.” Liam laughed nervously. “I live just outside the city centre with my friend Kyle. I’m not really sporty, it’s not my thing. But Kyle makes me go running with him and work out with him, says it’s important I take care of my body. I guess I’m a pretty nice guy, honest, friendly, loyal.” “Okay I get it, you’re Mr perfect.” I turned my head and smiled, showing Liam I was joking. “I’m not perfects, far from it really.” Liam’s voice lost it’s confident tone now, he sounded self conscious and I was scared of him going back into his shell. I squeezed his hand a little tighter showing him my support. “I think you’re as close to perfect as anyone can get, any guy would be lucky to have you.”

We had stopped walking now and I was looking directly at Liam, he didn’t need to say anything, his body language said it all. “You know Liam, that closet won’t hold you forever, you should come outta there and get some air, enjoy the view.” I took my left hand and grabbed Liams, now both of hands were together and I we were standing facing each other. Liam’s head was down, hiding his face. “Yeah well it’s warm in here” Liam joked. “I’m serious Liam, you have to come out some time.” Liam lifted his head now and tried to be strong. “You don’t understand, I don’t have a choice, I can’t come out, I’m not strong like you.” Liams eyes showed fear. I just wanted to put my arms around him and protect him from anything anyone threw at him. “I understand completely Liam, you think I didn’t go through this? Well I did, and even if sometimes you feel you’re not strong enough, I’ll be here for you.” I squeezed Liam’s soft hands tightly. “I might not know you that well yet, but I know you well enough to know you deserve to be happy, and you deserve someone who will love you like you deserve.” Liam didn’t say anything, he just leaned forward and rested his head on my shoulder, burying his face into my neck, I felt his warm breath on my skin. I let Liam enjoy this embrace for a few minutes before I spoke. “Let’s go, there’s someone I want you to meet.” We walked a little further before we arrived at my apartments.

We passed a group of drunken teens on the way up the stairs, Liam looked a little nervous but I was used to this sort of thing. I lead Liam into the apartment and went into the kitchen to get us a couple of drinks. I told Liam to go threw a different door, I wanted him to meet my brother but after a few seconds he appeared in the doorway to the kitchen. He’s asleep, I didn’t wanna wake him.” “That’s okay, I’m sure he would want to meet someone new anyway, he doesn’t get out much, so he’d kill me if I brought a boyfrie…. A friend here and didn’t introduce them to him.” I handed Liam his drink and together we headed into my brother’s room. I set down my drink on his bedside table and spoke his name gently. “Peter, Pete wake up there’s someone here to meet you. Peter didn’t stir and instead just lay there motionless. I shook him slightly by the shoulder gently, his head tilted to one side but his eyes didn’t part. I sensed Liam crouch down next to me. “Peter?” I spoke a little louder, now shaking him slightly more vigorously.

“Pete, come on wake up please, this isn’t funny.” I was now shaking my lifeless brother violently, using my strength to try to wake him. “Peter!” I yelled, that was enough for Liam, I felt his hands on my body, trying to pull me away from my dead brother. “No, get off I can’t leave him.” I barked at Liam. “Brad you have to let go off him!” I could tell from Liam’s voice that he was panicking. “I’m sorry Brad, he’s gone.” Hearing Liam say that was enough, I stopped shaking the shell of my ten year old brother and just held him in my arms. He seemed so small. I felt Liam put his arms around my waist followed my his chin resting on my shoulder. I felt the heat of his body from behind me. “I’m sorry Brad.” I didn’t know what to say, my brother was gone. “I don’t wanna let go of him.” It didn’t make much sense to just sit here, holding on to his body. But it made me feel like he was still here, like nobody could take him away. “I know, I know.”

***

I woke up the next morning on the floor, I opened my eyes to find Liam lying at my feet, one arm behind his head, one arm folded across his flat stomach. I sat up slowly, rubbing my eyes. I turned my head and was inflicted with the sight of my brother, motionless, lifeless. I felt tears start to well up in my eyes. I hear Liam stir, he sat up and looked directly at me. He crawled over to me and just put his arms around me, pulling my head onto his warm chest. “You didn’t want to leave him last night, so we just slept here. I hoped I would wake before you so I could be there for you when you woke up but clearly you beat me to it.” I could hear the sadness in Liam’s voice but I knew his sympathy was nothing compared to the what I felt.

It felt like someone had punched straight through my chest and pulled my heart out. Not even Liam was enough to fill the gaping hole left by the death of my baby brother. “He’s gone Liam, how can he be gone?” I paused trying to take in the seriousness of what I was saying. “I mean, I knew this day was coming… but I didn’t think it would come so soon.” Liam kissed me softly on the head, not with passion or lust, but with care, comfort. “You’re strong enough to pull through this, he would want you to be happy, wouldn’t he?” Liam hadn’t been lucky enough to meet my brother, but he still knew exactly what to say. “I know he would want that, but I don’t know if I can be happy now. He was all I had left.” Liam continued to gently hold me, I didn’t feel smothered, I felt comfortable and secure. “You have me, and I promise I’ll do what I can to make you happy again.” Liam meant what he said, he was there for me, I knew I was going to need him.

“Thank you” I whimpered. Secretly wondering how I was going to carry on knowing the last person I had to call family was gone, I didn’t know where he was, if he could see me, hear me, or if he had gone anywhere. Where do people go when they die? I don’t know yet, obviously someday I’ll find out. But until then, I hope my little brother is running around, being watched proudly by my mum and dad. I closed my eyes and imagined them all watching over me, I don’t know if they are watching over me, but I know Liam is.

Hey everyone, I hope you’re enjoying the series, lemme know what you think! Constructive criticism is more than welcome. Good or bad just be sure to let me know! I’ll try to be as fast as possible with part 3, thanks for reading!