Lost & Found - Part One

I spent every day in high school in constant fear that my real identity would be discovered. I had no best friend, didn't socialize with anyone, and never did anything to draw attention to myself. I didn't like much about high school except for the fact that I was almost finished. 

Over the years I had fallen in and out of love many times. I would always hope that the next time I found myself falling into that attraction, it would be a girl who stirred up those wonderful feelings. But time-after-time, It was always a boy.

I new we'd be going visit with my grandparent's for the holiday. I'd be free of this hell for two weeks. Christmas in California was a joke. How could anyone get in the spirit when it's 70 degrees outside. I loved spending Christmas in Minneapolis with my grandparents. The ground was covered in snow, and my grandparents lived in a luxury highrise apartment downtown. 

The second we arrived, I wanted to go exploring around downtown and I spent all of two minutes saying hello to grandma before grabbed my winter coat and heading for the elevator. When the doors opened on the ground floor, I heard someone say my name. It was a very cute guy and I recognized him immedaitely. I couldn't believe that I had forgotten about him.

"Jerry! It's me." he said as he walked towards me.

It was a kid named Brad that I had met there several Christmas' ago.His grandparents lived 2 floors above mine. Brad and I hung out together for two weeks. I saw him again the next Christmas and we where glued to each other for another two weeks. One the next Christmas I just assumed that we'd hang out again like wa had for that past two holidays. But I didn't see him that 3rd year. I was so hurt that I erased him from my mind and now, 3 years later he's walked right back into my life

He was a chubby 13-year old with braces and a flat-top haircut the last time that I saw him, and now he's.............he's................he's all grown up and fucking gorgeous!

"Bradly! Oh shit! Look at you man. You've changed." I said.

"I've changed? Look at you!" He said.

Just like old times, we took off exploring together. We walked around downtown, shopping, and talked about our lives. We both realized that the last time we hung out we played air-hockey and lived at the arcade. Now we have cellphones, and drivers license's. We didn't run to the arcade, but opted for an overstuffed sofa at Starbucks. 

Brad opened his wallet, handed me a dollar, and told me that I had won the bet. I didn't know what bet he was referring to and asked him to remind me.

"Come on! THE BET! Remember?" He said pointing at his crotch. 

I busted up laughing when I suddenly remember the bet that he was talking about. The last time we hung out, A bet was made over who will have the most pubes by the time we saw each other. I thought that it would be the next Christmas, but I never saw him again until an hour ago. 

"I keep it shaved these days" He said.

I laughed and gave him back the dollar and told him that it was a tie.

"Me too" I said.

I sat there listening to him talk about his life in Chicago, and it all sounded as empty as the life that I was leading in California. I just looked at how much he had changed and I couldn't remember ever being so happy to see someone. If he only lived in California, I could have had a best friend for all of those years that I secluded myself from the world.

We where running out of things to say and it was becoming clear that we weren't the kids that that or friendship was built upon. 

"Guess we should be heading back." He said.

"Guess so." I replied.

We walked the 9 blocks back to the apartment building with very little to say. I was just happy to be feeling this sensation of excitement and uncertainty. I wasn't beating myself up for feeling so attracted to a guy this time. 

Brad asked if I wanted to go to dinner with his family tonight and I jumped at the offer. I left him in the elevator on the 15th floor where I got off.

"Come up to my grandma's around 7:00" He said as the elevator doors closed.

At dinner I sat between his mother and his sister. It was nice catching up with his parents. Brad's mother told me how sad Bradly was when they didn't make the trip the following year beacuse they flew his grandma out to stay with them for two weeks.

"He cried like a baby because he though that he was never going to see you again." She said. 

I was glad that she sort of leaned over and said it to me in a low tone. I would have died right there at the table if my mom would have said something like that to him. I just sat there feeling utter shame. Brad had missed me to the point of tears and I hadn't even thought of him once over the past four years. I would no longer have to wonder the reason why I was so unworthy of love and affection. I was an uncaring asshole and had erased him from my mind at the first sign of emotional pain.

His mom took a picture of us at the restruant sitting together. I hoped that I might be offered a copy of the photo, but I was to shy to ask. I felt like they would see right through me and know that I wanted the photo for some sort of sexual perversion. I might as well ask for a copy to look at while I abuse my cock in bed every night until the thoughts in my head caused me to ejaculate all over myself.

After that night, I didn't run into Brad again until Christmas Eve. I had a gift for him that I bought the day after we went downtown. He was admiring this cologne and asked me what I thought as he held the back of his wrist up to my nose. God! it smelled so good on him.

"What's it called?" I asked.

"Lucky You" He replied.

"You got that right!" I said

It was still early on Christmas Eve and Brad asked if I wanted to go to dinner at Spaghetti Factory down the street. I assumed that it would be another family outing and asked when everyone would be ready to go.

"I was thinking about just the two us, is that okay?" He said.

I said yes as calmly as I could, but inside my heart was pounding over the thought of us having dinner together. Just us, and right away I felt like I had just been asked out on a date. I started to wondered if what I was feeling, was what girls feel when they get asked out by a boy for the first time. 

We talked up a storm over dinner, but just like at the coffee shop, we ran out of things to say and that awkward feeling filled the air. We walked back to the building with little to say, but we found it difficult to just say good night and go upstairs. It was too cold to stand out front, and I hadn't given Brad his Christmas present yet.

We went down into the heated underground garage. I reached into my pocket and gave him his Christmas gift. I was surprised when he reached into his pocket and handed me a wrapped present.

I opened Brad's gift and was moved by the thought that he had put into choosing such a special gift. It would be charished forever, no matter what would become of us in the future.