Lost & Found - Part One

It was a beautiful picture frame made to hold three photos. Brad had already placed pictures in the first two slots. The first was a picture of us that his grandma took years ago when we first met, and the second was the photo form the resturaunt the other night. The third slot was still empty. "Now we have to see each other again, right?" He said.

I smiled and nodded my head up and down. I was too afraid to speak and I couldn't take my eyes away from that first photo. I had forgotten about it, but know that I was holding it in my hand, I could't remember what I was thinking the second that photo was snapped.

"Merry Christmas Jerry!" Brad said.

Just as I was wishing him a Merry Christnas, he pulled me into a hug as we stood there in the warm garage. I could feel his cold cheek on my ear, and his hand slowly rubbing up and down on my back. He sounded as if he was scared to death as he whispered softy into my ear.

"I didn't think that I was ever going to see you again." He said.

I didn't respond right away. I wanted to hug him just a little bit longer. Where was the version of Brad and California? Why did I have to fly 1,500 miles to feel normal for the first time in my life? I didn't even talk to people back home, and now I'm having private dinner's, and hugging in underground garages. I kissed him on the cheek and then whispered back to him. 

"I don't want to have to wait a whole year to see you again." I said. 

He said that he felt like he knew what I meant, but I wasn't entirely sure of that. I think he was friendless in Chicago like I was in California, and he just missed me. Like I did on that third Christmas.

I remember how I felt when I arrived for the holiday when I was 14, and he wasn't there. I felt like crying because I had gotten my hope up that we'd have another two week adventure. 

I just assumed that he'd be there and I remember how excited I was as walked down the long hall to his grandmas door. I knocked, but nobody answered the door. I fugured that they must have gone out and I went back every hour on the hour. Every time, I'd say a little prayer that someone would answer the door.

I was young then and my little heart was much better at holding out for hope. I went and knocked on his grandma's door everyday for two weeks. And everytime I had convinced myself that this would be the time that Brad would open the door and be standing there. And each of those times, I'd find myself walking back down the hallway alone, and with tears building up in my eyes.

I walked up and down the streets of Minneapolis looking for Bradly. It's Christmas and we're supposed to hang out and have two weeks of fun. I didn't know where he was and thought that maybe I had done something to make him mad at me. I was worried and I hated the way it made me feel. I never wanted to fell this way again for as long as I live. It was horrible and I wanted to scream because somthing in my chest was hurting and it scared me. I was frantic and wanted someone to do something, anything! Call the fucking cops and put out an APB or something. I just wanted to know where he was, that's all!

I knocked on that door about 5 minutes before we left for the airport to flay back home. I remember crying when the plane started speeding down the runway. By the time we landed, I had forgotten about Brad and I didn't reacll thinking about him until I saw in in the lobby when we arrived. 

Now we're here hugging in the heated garage, and we hardly resemble the two friends that ran and played without a care in the world.

We finally said good night and left the garage to go upstairs. I layed in bed that night thinking about seeing not seeing Brad on Christamas morning. Even by then, we'd still have a whole week to hang out and talk about stuff. We made plans to see a movie the day after Christmas.

I was not under any impression that Brad could love me. I had been through this so many times before. I just hoped that I would be able to put him out of my mind as quickly as I had that last time. For now, I would just enjoy the feeling of being in love.

The next day after Christmas, we walked across the 3rd Street bridge and over the Mississippi River to a little movie theatre. It was very cold that day so there weren't too many people braving the cold for second run movies. We decided to see Independance Day.

There was hardly anyone in the theatre and Brad and I sat right in the middle. It was a good thing that there wasn't anyone sitting too close to us. We couldn't keep ourselves from talking and laughing. In the moments that we didn't talk, I'd sneek glances over at Brad and was amazed at how beautiful he was. I loved the way the movie screen lit up his face. 

We had been talking back and forth since the movie started. I'd turn and lean over a little everytime I wanted to say something to him. He'd do the same and sometimes, he'd lean in so close, that I could feel his warm breath on the side of my neck. It was driving me fucking nuts and I didn't know what to say or do. I had removed myself so far from life as a teenager should know it, that I was sexually retarded. Thank God that nature has taken people like myself into consideration, and gave us instinct where we lacked knowledge.

Brad and I both turned our heads and leaned over to say something at the very same moment, and it left us both frozen there, face-to-face. There wasn't anymore then a few inches of space between our lips. 

I watched Brad's eyes look down at my lips and then back up at me. I watched him like a hawke for the slightest hint of movement. He looked so scared, but didn't move a muscle as I move my face forward just a few millimeters. Then he did the same thing, and it was all that I needed. I just leaned in and started to close my eyes. I remember seeing his eyes starting to close less that a second before I felt his lips tounh mine. I liked that way it felt to kiss him there in that complete darkness. 

I kissed him like I had been kissing people my whole life, and he kissed me back. It was a long wet kiss and went on for a very long time. The theatre was not crowded by any means, but it was not possible that nobody saw what we where doing. It was the first time that I didn't care or feel like I was doing something wrong. I had just as much of a right to be in love as any other person.

I reached down and took his hand and held it. He looked down at our hands and then back up at me and smiled. We looked around casually and could spot the people who had witness our display of young homosexual love. Brad let his head come to rest on my shoulder. But then it occured to me that I had no right to make any assumptions about Brad's sexuality based on a kiss. 

I had never felt so in love in my entire life. Brad was snuggling on my shoulder and held our hands together in his lap. It was now or never. 

I whispered "Brad?"

He didn't respond verbally and looked up at me. I leaned my head forward until the my mouth was only an inch away from his ear.

"I'm so in love with you." I said softly.

He placed my hand on his chest over heart and kissed me again. I loved the kiss, but I wanted to hear it. We kissed for a while and I was getting hard. When we broke off the kiss, Brad got a huge smile and whispered in my ear.

"I bet you 5 bucks that I love you more." He said.

I lunged forward and kissed him hard. I reached over and lifted the arm rest on his right side and we want flat down across the seats and kissed as the movies ended. We kissed through the credits and didn't stop even when the house light came on.

We finally managed to pull ourselves apart and leave. We went to Applebee's next door to eat dinner and took turns feeding information to each other. We where both, technically virgins. We had both masturbated with other guys, and masturbated guys. Brad had given blow jobs a few times. I had never sucked a dick except for the inch of my own dick that I could reach with my mouth. That was the extent of our sexual experience.

I asked Brad if it made him feel akward to talk about sex. He seemed more at ease with it and didn't mind telling me anything that I wanted to know. I wasn't really referring to what we had done in the past. I didn't really know exactly how you go about asking for that things that you want.

"Just ask, I can only say yes or no." He said.

I was still to shy to come right out and say that I wanted to do this to him, or have him do that to me. I chose to just find a way of saying it with coming right out and asking.

"I was a virgin when I left California. don't let me go back that way." I said.

Brad just smiled and told me that he could promise me that. To my utter shock, what we had just said had been overheard.

"You two are the cutest little couple, I want to just cry!" A voice said from behind me. On the other side of a large potted plant, was the couple from the theatre. We started telling them our story about how was met and then lost contact for years, then reunited. 

These guys where both 26, and had been together since high school. Eventaually, we felt stupid talking over the plants and invited them over to our table. 

Brad and I where invited to a pre-new years gay party. It will be a monumental night for Brad and I.

END PART ONE