MY GERMAN LOVER : Part 11, chapter 1

"... I also heard Herr Funk is a notorius homosexual...", Lutz added...

"How's that possible... I mean... Do you think the Führer knows?", Paul asked...

"I'm sure he does! But he needs Funk... that guy is very well connected with the big financial brass in Germany... and the Führer needs their money! So Herr Funk in untouchable... Even the Gestapo can't do anything against him! At least, that's what my father said...", Lutz answered...

"Maybe He'll fall in love with you Paul...", Franz said, laughing...

"OH! KNOCK IT OFF, Franz... I really don't want to go to that damn party...", Paul answered, not laughing at all...

"But you must go Paul", Franz replied, no longer laughing... "Now, I can understand that you're not happy with the fact that you've been invited to that party... but you know... that comes with the territory! If you want your business to stay open, you'll have to deal with the Nazis... they are here Paul, whether you like it or not. And they make the rules now... it doesn't mean you have to like them... but that's the way things are..."

"Maybe I should stop doing business... close the Company... I don't like the idea of having to do business with the Reich... Doing so, we only help the Nazis... Maître Langlois told me about a radio speech a French general gave from London a few days ago... I think his name is de Gaulle... He said he intends to continue fighting... Perhaps that's what we should do...", Paul answered...

"...I've never heard about that de Gaulle guy...", Franz answered..." But it's easy for him to say whatever he wants, he's in London! Not here in Paris! Now if you shot down your Company... if everyone in France does the same... say goodbye to France! That would mean the end of your country... And if you shot it down Paul, what do you think will happen to all your employees? They need their jobs, you know! Being Swiss, I can give you an independent opinion Paul... Look! In Switzerland, we have no choice but to do business with the Nazis! Do you think we like that? NO! But we're cought right in the middle... just like you are... It's very easy for President Roosevelt to say he won't do business with the Nazis: He's in America, far, far away from here... and America doesn't need to do business with the Reich to survive. We do! That may be sad... but that's the truth!"

"... You may be right, Franz... But that doesn't mean I like that...", Paul answered...

"We all know that Paul...", Franz replied...

As madame Louise told Paul supper was ready to be served, they all went to the diningroom, where a delicous meal was served to them...

"It's obvious your Chef is back Paul... It's really delicious...", Lutz said, smiling...

"You didn't like madame Louise's cooking?", Paul replied, laughing...

"Sure... I liked it... but that's something else...", Lutz answered, laughing too...

"Now... I have something for you Lutz!", Paul said to him...

Paul gave Lutz an envelope, saying:

"...Open it..."

Lutz took the envelope then opened it and read the note concerning his new bank account in Switzerland...

"... That doesn't belong to me...", Lutz exclaimed, looking at Paul...

"Now it does!", Paul answered, grinning...

And he went on to explain to Lutz the reasons he wanted him to have that money... Lutz listened... with his charactiristic frown...

"... I hear you Paul... But I can't accept..."

"Oh shut up, Lutz! It's no use to argue with him... It's lost in advance... believe me: I've tried...", Will said, laughing...

"YUP!!, Paul answered, laughing...

"... But...", Lutz tried to say...

"... I told you Lutz: Shut up and take it", Will replied...

"... But... How can I thank you?... I mean..."

"You've already thank me Lutz... Now I don't want to hear anything about that anymore. It's settled... That's it! Over with!", Paul answered.

"(...)"

"Good!", Paul said!... "Now Will, let's talk about your new work schedule you told me about..."

"OH! Yes! Well... starting next week, Lutz and I will be working from Monday trough Friday... and we'll have the weekends off... That's unless there's an urgent matter that requires us to work on a Saturday or a Sunday..."

"...HEY! That's cool..." Paul answered... "and you know what? When my Grandma died, I've inherited her small château near Chartres... The château is called "Bagatelle", cause it's not very big... But it's beatiful, and the estate is quite large... it includes a small farm as well as a small lake... I will have to go there soon to make sure everything is okay... and meet with the staff, you know... So, we could all go and spend the next weekend there... That would be fun... what do you think?"

"Hey! that would be great...", Will replied...

"Do you think you could come?", Paul asked Franz...

"Sure... no problem! I'd like that...", Franz replied, smiling...

"...And you Lutz?"...

"Don't ask me man! My suitcase is already packed"... Lutz answered, laughing...

"Tomorrow, I'll call Bagatelle to let the staff know we'll be there, so they can prepare the place and the bedrooms..."

"... Yeah... well... about that, Paul... Franz and I won't need... I mean... We'll share the same bedroom, if you don't mind...", Lutz said, looking into his empty plate, a bit embarrass...

Will grinned...

"Shut up!", Paul said, looking at Will... Then, looking at Lutz and Franz he said:

"That's okay... no problem"

"...You don't ask why?", Lutz asked Paul, looking at him straight in the eyes...

"No. It's your business... If you want to tell, fine... If you don't... fine...", Paul answered. "And you... stop grinning like that", Paul said to Will, looking at him...

Lutz looked at Franz, who nodded... then at Will and at Paul...

"...Well... Anyway, I'm sure you've already guessed...", Lutz said.

"...From what I've seen this morning on rue Lapérouse, I mean... I didn't have to guess, you know: I saw it...", Will answered, laughing...

"OH YOU!", Paul shouted...

"...You mean... You mean you came to the flat this morning?", Lutz asked...

"Hell Lutz... from where do you think I've got my uniform? And when I saw what I saw... and heard what I heard... well... you know... I just changed, and left the flat as quietly as possible...", Will answered, grinning...

"Oh"... Lutz replied, as Franz was turning red...

"Hey guys, it's your business... Not ours! Beside, it would be hard for me and Will to pass judgment on what you're doing...", Paul said.

"... Yeah! But that's different... you are gay... I'm not...", Lutz answered.

"You know Lutz, that's too complicated for me to understand... but as long as both of you feel comfortable with that, well, I don't give a shit...", Paul replied.

"Thanks Paul...", Franz said, looking at Paul...

"Now it's agreed? We'll all spend next weekend at Bagatelle?", Paul asked them, smiling...

"YES!", they all answered.

I would suggest you two come to sleep here on Friday night, so we can all leave early, Saturday morning...

"Fine with me...", Lutz answered... "What about you Franz?"

"Fine with me too", Franz answered, smiling...

Later that evening, while Will and Lutz were captivated by a discussion they were having concerning a certain person the both of them knew in Berlin, Franz went to Paul and asked him if he could have a private chat with him...

"Sure...", Paul answered... "Hey you guys, we're going to my study for a few minutes... I have some papers I want Franz to bring back to the Embassy..."

"Go ahead...", Will and Lutz answered...

Both Paul and Franz walked over to Paul's study, and as soon as they were there, Franz said to Paul:

"Thanks a lot for what you said... you know... about Lutz and me..."

"...Sure... But you didn't asked me to come in here just to tell me that, did you Franz? You have something else on your mind, I can tell..."

"Yes... I'd like to have your opinion on that...", Franz answered.

"Can I be honest with you Franz?"

"I want you to..."

"Well, I understand perfectly well that you find Lutz to be very, very attractive... He's a real hunk! But I'm looking at you... and I'm affraid you're falling in love with him... and I worry about that, you see... Lutz ins't gay, and he's not in love with you... he has his girlfriend in Berlin and one day, he'll go back to her... Lutz has no problem with that... all he wants is good sex! And I'm sure he's getting it from you... You're a nice and good-looking guy Franz, and I sure hope you won't get hurt in this whole affair..."

"You know Paul, Lutz has been very honest with me about all that... He told me he wasn't gay, and that he wasn't in love with me! He told me all he wants is a good fuck buddy, that's all! He doesn't want me to kiss him... and he warned me not to fall in love with him! As he said: "We fuck... no strings attached...".

"And how do you feel about that?"

"I know I'm in love with him... you just don't know how much I love him Paul... And I know that in the end, I may be the only one to suffer... but in the meantime, I'll take all I can... At least, when I grow old, I'll have good memories to think about, not regrets..."

"You're in for some hard time, you know that?"

"... Perhaps... But for now, I have him... and that's enough for me! I know... I know... I will suffer... and I suffer already when we make love and I can't kiss him... and I suffer when I would like to tell him how much I love him... and I can't! I don't want to loose him Paul... Last night, after he went to sleep, I kept looking at him... He's so beatiful! I felt so happy... I just couldn't believe I was in the same bed with him... What can I say... I know Paul... he doesn't really care about me... Oh, not that he's not kind with me... no... He's very nice... And when we made love, he was very attentive and very kind to me... Shit! If you only knew how much I hate that Klara in Berlin... and I don't even know her!!! I wish I was Klara! I wish Lutz was in love with me... I wish... Why the hell did God made me like I am? Why can't I be that Klara? Why? (...) Now you see... I'm crying... Shit! Sorry! ... I feel so bad... (...) Thank God Paul you're listening to me... (...) At least for now... I have him..."

Paul took Franz's face into is hands and gave his friend a kiss on the head...

"... I feel so sorry for you Franz... But you must realize... you don't "have him..." as you say... you're only having sex with him... you realize that, don't you? Tell me you do! Tell me... Oh shit Franz... You're such a nice guy... And you deserve so much more..."

"... Well... That's all I have for now... And I'll live each and every moment with Lutz to the fullest..."

"... I suppose you know what you're doing Franz... And I respect that... I want you to know I'll always be there for you, should you need help..."

"... Thanks Paul... I know you're my friend... you're a good guy Paul! And I think Will is very lucky to have you..."

"Well, I'm very lucky to have him... And Franz... some day... I'm sure you'll find a guy that really loves you... You will Franz! I swear... Now... we have to go back to Will and Lutz... Are you okay?"

"... Yes... Let's go back... Paul?"

"yes?"

"Thanks again... If you were not there... no one would be there to listen to me... I don't know what I would do... You're my best friend..."

"Hey pal... I told you... I'm here for you... anytime..."

Paul hugged Franz... and as he was about to let go of him, Franz said:

"You know Paul... I'll always be there for you too... should you need me... If you ever think there's something I can do for you... Just ask! And I'll do it..."

"You're a pal!", Paul answered, smiling at Franz as they began walking out of his study to join Will and Lutz...

"Now, put a smile on that face!", Paul said to Franz, grinning...

"Yeah... How do I look now?"

"... You would fool the devil himself...", Paul answered, laughing...

"...As long as I can fool Lutz..."