Meant To Be

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Hi anyone and everyone! :) Thanks for taking the time to check out one of my stories. It’s been a while since I last posted and I’m guessing the readers and the authors will have changed quite a lot. Anyway, it’s been a couple of years since my last first series “Rolling in the deep” and since then I’ve had a few different projects, but nothing that myself or readers enjoyed as much as that first series. However I’m excited about this series and I think the reason I could never fully commit to other ideas was because readers and myself wanted to know what happened to Jack who was introduced at the end of Danny and Alex’s story. So anyone who’s unfamiliar with my work may want to check out Rolling in the Deep and Danny and Alex before reading this. I really hope you enjoy it and since I’m definitely rusty, pleeeasse do review and I really do encourage you to email me at jasesmyth [at] hotmail [dot] co [dot] uk I love reading feedback whether it’s good or bad as it’s the only way I can improve and I generally enjoy getting to know my readers so I always reply to everyone

*** Chapter One

I slurped another sip of the coke that was quickly losing its ice-cold freshness before running and diving back into the lake. I spent a few moments under the water, listening to the sounds of water rushing past my head. Everything was so different under the water, sounds from above the surface are muffled out, everything is blurry. It’s like another world where nothing exists except the water. Since we were young, Paul and I had come down to the lake on our bikes. I still remember the first time we were actually brave enough to go into the water. We’d debated it for ages, then eventually we took off our socks and shoes and gingerly tip-toed in. The icy water swirling around our toes made us scream and giggle and we rushed back to the grassy shore, then we edged our way towards the water again and continued this process until eventually we were able to wade into the water. Now at the age of 18, it was second nature coming down to the lake and going for a swim on hot days like this ice-cream was more important than dinner and kids had water fights. The lake still hadn’t lost its charm though, it was still our place.

“So Jacky boy, how’s your dad?” Paul had that cheesy grin I’d become so accustomed to seeing over the years.
I sighed but couldn’t help smiling as I delivered the punch line on his long standing and well worn out joke “Which one?” I replied. Paul bust into a fit of laughter, the same way he did every time he set up that joke countless times. Paul was the first kid I met that wasn’t freaked out by me having two dads, in fact he thought it was interesting, or cool as he’d first put it as a 6 year old. He’d asked so many questions about what it was like having two dads, if I called one of them mum, who made dinner etc. As I had explained everything Paul just sat there with his eyes slightly narrowed and his head tilted to one side – his concentration face. That was the first time I explained to someone what my family was like, Paul was my first real friend and explaining the ins and outs of having two gay dads almost made it seem cool. Suddenly I felt a strong shove on my chest and next thing I knew I was tumbling backwards through the water, when I resurfaced the first thing I saw was Paul with a mischievous grin spread across his tanned face.

“You were miles away Jack, so I had to bring you back somehow.”
“Sorry bud, and thanks for the not so gentle wake up” I chuckled while shaking off water droplets from my hair.
“Alright let’s save from time here, what’s wrong?” Paul’s no-nonsense style of caring was an acquired taste, luckily I’d gotten used to it by now and knew this was his way of showing sympathy, and damn he knew me well.
“Hmm let’s see, global warming, conflict between religions, poverty, oh and Justin Bieber. Those are all things that are wrong.” I felt another shove on my chest but managed not to go under this time.

“I’m serious Jack. You’ve been acting strangely for a while, I know when something’s wrong with my best friend.” Between my constant daydreaming, excuses not to go out, the dark circles around my eyes, I shouldn’t have been surprised that Paul knew something was wrong, yet here I stood with water up to my waist, shivering now without a clue how to answer him.
“We should go” I mumbled, at least by fleeing and avoiding the question maybe I could live to fight another day. As I turned and began to wade out of the seemingly now freezing water, my escape was interrupted – I should’ve known better.

“Jack… wait” Paul’s voice had deepened, the pause after he’d called my name made me think he wanted to say something but had thought better of it, was he angry with me? I stopped dead in my tracks and kept facing away from him, tears beginning to form in my eyes already, as ripples of water glided away from my quaking torso I couldn’t help but feel my time had run out. All the secrets and lies had caught up with me. I heard slushes of water behind be followed by a soft yet firm touch on my shoulder, I turned and lowered my head, blinking back the tears in a last-stand act of defiance, hoping I could still hide the truth. Suddenly I was wrapped in Paul’s warms, his torso and chest pressed against mine and my face just equal with his jaw, he’d always been a few inches taller. His firm and wet body pressed against mine killed the shivering instantly, warmth and comfort flooded my muscles and veins like I’d just gotten into bed on a cold winter night. So I just closed my eyes and let my body sink into his body like it was a mattress and his shoulder was the pillow, his arms blanketing me and keeping any monsters away.

“I get that you’re not ready to talk about whatever’s upsetting you right now, so I’m not gonna push you. Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be here”. I knew Paul was talking, but I could only hear muffled sounds of a human voice, my face began to slide down his chest and I barely made out more voice-like sounds, this time they sounded more urgent. Was that my name being called? There was a tugging sensation at my arms, like something was trying to hoist me up but I just kept sliding into what looked and felt like darkness. There was a rushing of liquid around me as I sank beneath the water, the voice from above became more and more muffled as everything faded to darkness.

-*-*-*-*-*

I woke in a familiar warmth and comfort, my bed. I swung my legs out of bed and clambered to my feet unsteadily, after a few less than confident steps I decided it was best to take things slow. With one hand pressed against the wall to support myself, I gradually shuffled downstairs from my bedroom to the living room. my footsteps caught Paul’s attention. He was laying on the sofa in a pair of shorts watching cartoons, a blue bunny and a little girl were trying to find their way through a magical forest, Paul seemed pretty caught up in the storyline actually…On hearing my arrival he rolled over and sprang to his feet.

“Woah slow down buddy, take it easy.”
“I’m ok, quick you’re gonna miss what happens to the blue bunny” I forced a smile as I joked with him.
Paul glanced back towards the TV where the blue bunny was now trying to cross the enchanted river “His name is thumper, and I know he’s gonna make it through the magical forest because I already saw this episode. What happened to you today? Did you faint?”
“I’m not sure, maybe the heat just got to me” the heat was getting to me again right now as Paul stood in front of me wearing nothing but a slightly small pair of gym shorts, wait…my gym shorts I realized while staring, probably way too much, at his bulging crotch.
“Sorry I eh, borrowed a pair of your shorts, didn’t think you’d mind”. Was Paul blushing? Oh god he must have caught me staring.

“What? Uhm no it’s fine, they just don’t fit so well.” I bit my lip in a feeble attempt to hold back the fit of laughter that was battling so hard to escape. I only lasted a few seconds before I lost that struggle and unleashed a roar of laughter in Paul’s increasingly reddened face. Suddenly he burst out laughing too before finally recomposing himself.

“Ahem” Paul stood up straight and cleared his throat “My sincerest apologies dear friend, please excuse me while I correct this most serious issue”. The next thing I saw was Paul putting his hands inside the shorts and moving his cock around until the bulge was less noticeable. I only stole a glimpse at the very base of his shaft and the fine layer of well-trimmed hair that surrounded it, but it was more than enough to stir a reaction in my own shorts. I became all too aware of the fact that I was also wearing nothing but shorts, shorts I wasn’t wearing when I was at the lake, did Paul put these on me after he brought me home? I needed to get away from him. Without hesitation I spun and strode out of the living room and into the kitchen. I felt Paul’s firm touch on my shoulder yet again today, his soft palm caressed my collar bone as his long fingers wrapped around my shoulder and pressed against my neck, his hand was so soft and though it provided such a gentle touch, it felt like that single hand was firm enough to hold me in place. I indulged in the bliss provided by his skin on mine for a split second.

“Get off!” I yelled out with a lot more anger than I’d intended. I lunged forward away from Paul, breaking the physical contact between us. I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. I imagined how dejected his face would be, his blue eyes would be filled with sadness at the strange behavior of his best friend, his cheeks would still be rosy red from the laughter just moments ago, his little pink lips would surely be frowning in a sign of confusion at why I was acting like this.

“I’m sorry, have I done something wrong? Cause If I have, just tell me. Please. I hate seeing you upset, and I feel like this is my fault.” I didn’t even need to look at him, the tone of his voice confirmed my thoughts at how sad he would look. His usually deep and loving tone of voice was small and boyish now, like I’d completely crushed him from a man to a boy. What kind of best friend was I? I couldn’t bring myself to talk to him, so Paul decided to fill the silence for me.

“I know that if I’ve done something to hurt you, I should realize what it is. But I really can’t think of anything Jack. Then again you always were the smart one. I was the dumb lacrosse player and you were the brains, except you play lacrosse damn well too, so you’re the brains and the muscle. Remember when they were gonna kick me off the team cause my grades were bad, we used to come to your house after school. You’d do your homework and then help me with mine, you pretty much did two sets of homework every night when most kids don’t even bother doing their own.”

I couldn’t stand Paul thinking he’d done something wrong. What had he done? He’d been too kind, too funny, too supportive, too beautiful, too straight. I’d fallen for him and now I couldn’t stand our friendship, like a constant preview or teaser of what a romantic relationship with him would be like.
“Please Paul, it’s not you. I just really can’t explain what the problem is, so just let me fix it myself. OK?” I heard Paul sigh behind me.
“You’ve got a voice, I’ve got ears. So yes you can explain the problem. There are no words that could come out of your mouth that could make me look at you differently. You’re always gonna be my best friend and that’s how I’ll always see you, always Jack.”
“You’re always gonna look at me as a best friend, and that’s the problem” I whispered under my breath. I took a deep breath before finally speaking up.

“You need to go Paul. I just want to be alone for a while.”
“I’m not leaving you by yourself like this until…”
“Go Paul” I maintained.

“Ok” Paul whimpered behind me. There were a few moments of rustling sounds as Paul gathered his things and put a shirt on, then I heard the front door close and his car start outside, when I heard the engine noise fade away as my best friend drove off I finally relaxed my shoulders and picked up my phone. I scrolled through the contacts as I began to cry and my vision became blurry, I kept sniffing but allowed the tears to roll freely down my face. I could just about see the names of the contacts of my phone as I reached those saved under the letter “D” I stopped and hesitated for a second with my thumb hovering above two options –

** “Dad - Danny”
*** “Dad - Alex”

I pressed my thumb down on the green phone next to Danny’s name and rang the number. He answered within a few rings.
“Hey Jack buddy, what’s up?” My dad – Danny sounded cheery as he picked up the call in France, he and Alex were away for the summer and had agreed to let me stay home alone to enjoy the summer with friends, besides, they deserved some alone time. I cleared my throat and sniffed again as I attempted to speak through the crying.

“Dad? It’s me. I need help” I began to cry again. ‘’It’s Paul, I’m being such an asshole to him and it’s all because I can’t tell him how I feel. He thinks he’s done something wrong and I just want to hug him and tell him he’s perfect and he could never hurt me. I have to tell him dad but I can’t, things will never be the same if he knows I’ve fallen for him. What do I do dad? ” There were a few moments of silence as everything I had just said sank in.
“If you feel so seriously about him, then he just has to know Jack, I think…” I didn’t need to hear any more, I hung up the phone and started to prepare myself.

*******

It was 10.30p.m when I arrived at Paul’s house. I’d spent a few hours trying to calm myself down and prepare what I was going to tell Paul. I took a deep breath, wiped the sweat off my forehead and knocked the door firmly with a trembling right hand. A few brief moments passed before Paul’s mother appeared in the hallway, her eyes faded from bright with hope into disappointment and her mouth fell into a frown as she saw me standing on the porch. Paul must have told her how badly I’d treated him today, and recently for that matter. Nevertheless she opened the door and smiled at me faintly. She was always such a pleasant and welcoming lady, always offering drinks and snacks, asking how I was doing at school, and she and her husband were among the few parents who didn’t forbid their son from playing with the kid with two dads. Tonight however, something was wrong, her eyes were laced with panic and her disappointment upon seeing me warned me something bad had happened.

“Hello Mrs Moore, is Paul home?” I tried not to let the nerves make my voice squeaky, but the words came out all jumbled and stammered anyway. No sooner had I asked the question, tears began to form in her eyes.
“Oh Jack, we don’t know where he is. He hasn’t been home since he went out with you this morning. He isn’t answering his phone and that’s not like him. We know he only left this morning but this is just strange for him Jack you know it is. What if he’s gotten caught up with that KLD stuff?”

“KDL Mrs Moore, and there’s no way he’d do that. Don’t panic, I’m gonna look for him and when I find him I’ll bring him right home.” KDL was a street drug that had made serious news recently, 3 teens had already died. Right now the stuff was every parent’s worst nightmare, but I knew Paul wouldn’t touch drugs, at least I didn’t think he would under normal circumstances, but just a few hours ago he’d left my house upset and confused…because of me. “Oh God Paul, where have you gone and what have you done?”