Memoirs of a DL

Note: The following story is semi-fact, however some sections have been adapted. Names and places have been adapted for privacy.
This story contains explicit sexual content involving persons over the age of 18. If you are offended by sex between consenting male adults or if it is not legal to read this in your area, please do not continue. Otherwise, I hope you enjoy the story.

Chapter 1: A New Chapter

I stepped out onto the path; the same path which I walked for those five days a week. But this time was different. I didn’t have to be here.

The path was long and almost looked endless. There were trees either side which ran along side the path framing the track. It usually looked picturesque; like a beautiful landscape painting. The sun’s rays usually shimmering through the tree leaves causing them rustle and sway in the light breeze, illuminating the road below. But today was different the cold harsh wind roared as the relentless rain beat down on my whole body causing me to shudder. I was absolutely soaked through. My designer suit clung uncomfortably to my skin, restricting my movement. I loved my suit!

It was a pinstripe black two piece suit. It was the most expensive item in my wardrobe and I had to work for months to afford it. I loved the way I felt when I put it on and loved the attention, and looks I would receive whilst wearing it. But now it was in tatters and I knew it would take a couple of trips to the dry cleaners to get it back to its former glory, something which I was not looking forward to.

Questions began to haunt my head. Why was I here? Why was I walking this long road? I could’ve been on my way home in the relative comfort of the bus. Instead I had diverted; walking a route which was in the complete opposite direction to that of my house. The answer to these questions was walking right beside me, he's name was Sean.

As I looked to my right I stared at him. He’s short hair which was usually a light chestnut had become a dark brown from the rain and now lay tousled flat on his head. He’s emerald eyes glistened in the rain, looking onwards nonchalantly. A tiny smile graced he’s lips. I would have given anything to know what he was thinking at that moment. I adored him.

This was the path which lead to he’s house. He had asked me to walk him home. Everyday after school I would always answer with a yes! Everyday I would hope and pray that maybe today would be the day something happened between us. A kiss, a hug even the slightest hint that he felt the same way about me as I did about him. I would stubbornly hold onto this blind, stupid hope.

As I stared at him my heart raced, butterflies filled my stomach; How could I feel so happy and yet so sad at the same time; How could I feel so close to someone and yet so distant. I wanted to tell him how I felt, but I was too ashamed. It was pathetic. He’s straight. I kept telling myself he doesn’t want you! But then there were times when he looked at me, and it would feel like he saw right through me, those stunning green eyes which burned through my soul setting my heart ablaze. Something about he’s stare would make me question how he did feel about me. It was almost as though he was contemplating something and once again it would make me hope.

As we reached he’s house it was time for us to part. This was the worst part of the walk, the moment that my hope died. He gave me a dazzling smile and thanked me for walking with him. I, in response faked a smile and said my goodbye. As we walked our separate ways, it felt as though my heart was breaking. We walking our separate physical ways was almost a metaphor for what was occurring emotionally in my head. We were indeed walking separate paths. As I walked away I could feel the spark of hope fading. My eyes began to well up. It wasn’t so bad I thought; at least the rain would hide my tears. I sobbed uncontrollably, looking up at the dark, cloudy sky. It hurt so bad. Why did I have to be this way, why me!?

From that moment on I knew; I knew that this had to stop. I needed to stop being a fool. Why was I doing this to myself? Stop being so blind I told myself. Accept reality. From that moment I made a promise to never fall again and thus opened a new chapter in my life...