My First Time... Was the worst time...

I had my first time when I was 18. I'm 22 now and living in Boston, cheering on the Red Sox, that kind of stuff. But when I was a senior in high school, I had a friend. My friend Ryan. Comparing myself to Ryan isn't easy. Ryan stands at 5'8" and around 150 lbs. I stand at 6' tall and at 232 lbs but by no means am I fat.

I'm the "straight" gay, nothing about me screams gay. Now you would think that Ryan would be the more sensitive and submissive one, but he isn't. I am. Ryan is surprisingly dominant, but one of the nicest people you will ever meet. We've been friends since the 5th grade and we are practically brothers.

There was never a time when we were separated except for the obvious things like bedtime, showers, etc. My 18th birthday was when it happened. I stayed over his house, for the 1000th time, and as normal, he spent the entire time I was over without his shirt on.

As I said before, I am gay but I haven't told him up to the point of the night before it happened. "so, do you like cock? Like do you think about it?" Ryan asked innocently. "well... I guess so... I mean... I don't know what I'm trying to say. Heh!" I chuckled lightly. "so, how long have you liked um...guys?" he said. "uh.... Ever since I was born I guess..." I said trying not to act stupid. I noticed a bulge growing in his levi's carpenter pants.

I couldn't stop staring at his pants tent. "ummm.... See something you like there, fag?" he said obviously creeped out. I started to tear up and cry. "what?" I said, I couldn't believe that he said that word about me. "I better go..." I said when he grabbed my shoulder and forced me to a corner. " Ryan can we talk about this please?" i pleaded. He didn't stop.

He grabbed my waistband and unbuttoned my Jeans. I looked into his eyes and I saw that he wanted to hurt me sexually. I guess that's what turned him on. Before I knew what was going on, I was completely naked and on my stomach. Ryan shoved his 8" dick into my butt. As he did this, he leaned in and whispered "I'm sorry."

he started to fuck me to the point of me crying. It hurt so bad but I never wanted it to stop. "you like my dick fag?" he said. "dont call me that!" I screamed. "Shut up!" and I went quiet after he said that. I Lied there and took what was given to me. After a few minutes more of excruciating pain, he came inside me.

He was breathing heavily and I just laid there and cried. When all the sudden... He whispered, "I love you Josh." what's my reaction? Part two will tell you.... Feel free to leave comments.