My German Lover, Part 24 chapter 3

"You were waiting for me?", François asked Ludwig, surprised that his friend wasn't asleep yet, since he had gone to bed early that night...

"Yes"

"What for?"

"...I wanted to talk with you..."

"...Well... Here I am...", François answered, a little anxious.

He began undressing and waited for Ludwig to speak.

"I saw Philippe this afternoon, after school. He was waiting for me..."

"Was he?... I wasn't aware that he wanted to..."

"I know...", Ludwig said...

"Why.. I mean... Did you talk to him?"

"Not really... He did the talking: I listened"

"Oh?"

"...I'm a jerk, huh?"

"What?", François exclaimed...

"...At least, I've been acting like one, I guess..."

"No you're not a jerk Ludwig: You're my best friend..."

"Not anymore I guess... Now that you have Philippe..."

"Hey pal: Philippe has nothing to do with it... You're my best friend, and that will never change..."

"Yeah... sure... You're always with him... I don't see you anymore... and you act like if you were avoiding me...", Ludwig said, with a sad voice...

"You know what Ludwig? It's true... I'm trying to avoid you... Not because I want to, but because you act like you are mad at me... and I don't know why! I've been doing a lot of thinking recently... and really... I don't see what I did wrong to make you mad at me..."

"That's why I said I've been acting like a jerk... you did nothing wrong François... it's just that I feel bad..."

"But why?"

"I don't know... I guess... I'm a little jealous of Philippe..."

"(...) Now... you've got some explaining to do, pal! I'm totally lost! I mean... I think I'm in love with Philippe... no... let's be honest: I'm madly in love with him. True! That's one thing. But as I said, my love for Philippe has nothing to do with you... why would you be jealous of him?"

"Come here buddy... and sit", Ludwig said to his friend, patting the bed beside of him...

François walked over to Ludwig's bed, and sat beside his friend.

"Look François... I've been doing a lot of thinking too... and when I say I'm jealous of Philippe, it's because it's true..."

"...I don't understand... Are you telling me you're in love with me?"

"...No...", Ludwig answered, grinning... "At least, not the way you love Philippe... But since you sarted seeing him, I've realise how much you count for me... you're my best friend... and I guess... I don't want to lose you..."

"...But..."

"Let me finish, okay? (...) Yeah, I've asked myself if I was in love with you... if I was gay... you know... It seems everybody around me is gay, so why not me? And I was all mixed up. You know... my love for you... the way I feel when I'm with you... Hell, I didn't know where I stood anymore. Then, I started asking myself a few questions... like... "Do I want to kiss you?"... "Do I want to really make love with you... not just jack-off"... you know... Questions like that... and the answer is no. That's not what I want... As much as I felt bad before, now I know where I stand... and I know I'm not gay..."

"But then, why would you be jealous of Philippe?"

"...Until you met Philippe, it was only you and me... We were always together... doing stuff together... having fun... Hey: We even used to jerk-off together... But now, you ignore me. I mean... I feel like if I'm an old rag you've decided to toss away, cause it's no longer useful..."

"That's not true!"

"...Maybe... But anyway, that's how I feel... (...) I know life has not been easy for you over the last few months... In a different way, things haven't been easy for me neither, you know... I left my family and moved to France... I left all my friends back in Berlin... and now... I don't hear from them anymore... I had to learn how to speak French, and get use to a new country, new customs... Hell! Everything around me is foreigh... Then I met you... and we became friends... In a way, you're like a lifebuoy to me... and now, I feel like this lifebuoy is being taken away from me... and that I'm gonna drown... and... and..."

Ludwig had to stop talking, cause his voice was now quivering and tears were running down his cheeks like a river: He didn't want to make a fool of himself in front of François!

François delicately took Ludwig's face between both of his hands... wiped away a few tears from his cheeks, then he softly said to him:

"Look at me Ludwig... Look at me (...) I'm so sorry! The last thing in the world I would do is to hurt you... hurt your feelings... I love you man! And you're not losing me pal! I never thought about how hard it could be for you to start a new life here in France... I mean... To me, you have everything! You're gorgeous... have a nice personality... you're funny... Hell! What do I have, compare to you? Not much, I guess..."

"That's not true", Ludwig said, sobbing...

"Anyway... But now, I understand better how you feel and thanks for being honest with me. But you're wrong Ludwig: You're not an old rag I'm tossing away... I realise that over the last few weeks, I've spend a lot of time with Philippe... I mean... being in love with him like that is all so new for me... But that doesn't mean you're no longer my best friend! How can I convince you pal? What can I say to make you feel better?"

"Well, I guess I'm gonna have to stop acting like a jerk, so you will stop trying to avoid me...", Ludwig said, grinning...

"Yeah! That would help! And you know Ludwig, Philippe likes you... He thinks you're a great guy... Stop thinking my love for him threatens our friendship, cause it's not so..."

"...I wasn't sincere when I told you he's not the right guy for you! I was just jealous. He is. And he's madly in love with you..."

"You think?"

Ludwig burst out laughing and answered:

"...You should have been there, when he talked to me this afternoon... I mean... The guy is mad about you! he said you felt miserable, because of the way I was acting, and he thought he was the one who was responsable for that... so he said he was ready to stop seeing you, if it would help making things better between you and me..."

"Huh?"

"Yeah! (...) How do you think I felt when I heard him saying that? Like a real jerk (...)"

Ludwig stopped talking, suddenly at a loss for words. Then he said:

"...For what it's worth, I'm sorry François... for the way I've been acting with you... you have the right to be mad at me!"

"I'm not mad at you Ludwig! I swear! I was really hurt, but now that I understand, I feel better about the whole thing... Come on man: Give me a big hug!"

The two friends hugged for a while, then François said:

"I'm here for you Ludwig... I'll always be... Just as you've always been there for me when I needed you! And I still do... So... can you bear with me for a while? I know I'm spending a lot of time with Philippe... But from now on, I'll do my best to spend some time with you too... now that I know you're not mad at me..."

"Hey! Don't worry buddy: I'll manage..."

"No... We'll manage... The three of us!"

"(...) So: Tell me... You and Philippe... have you? I mean... did you?..."

François burst out laughing and answered:

"Not yet! (...) I mean... We've been fooling around... but except for a few blow-jobs... no... we haven't done anything else ... yet..."

"Yet?", Ludwig answered, grinning...

"Well... Next Saturday... We're suppose to go for a picnic at the Bois de Boulogne... and... you know... We'll see..."

"Ohhhhhh... a picnic, huh? At the Bois de Boulogne... You don't say!", Ludwig said, laughing his heart out...

"...Don't start teasing me about that you bastard..."

"Of course not! You know me better than that!", Ludwig answered, still laughing his heart out... "I would never do a thing like that!"

"Yeah! And that's exactly why I'm warning you...", François answered, laughing... "I know you too well..."

Now that the two friends had made things clear between the two of them, there was a drastic change of atmosphere on Avenue Foch, and everyone there began breathing easier...

"...Ludwig and me... We had a little talk the other night... to sort tings out...", François told Paul and Will one morning...

"Oh?", Will said...

"Yeah!", François answered, grinning... "We needed to talk... And now, everything is O.K. and things are back to normal between us..."

"Thank God!", Paul said... "And... what about Philippe?"

"Now that Ludwig understands the difference between our friendship and my love for Philippe...everything is fine... So I guess you'll see more and more of Philippe around here... if you don't mind, that is..."

"Hey pal... I told you before: This is your home! Philippe is welcome around here as often as you wish...", Paul answered, with a big smile on his face...

"Thanks! (...) Um... next Saturday... I was planning... I mean... I'd like to have a picnic with Philippe... at the Bois de Boulogne... Do you think I could ask your Chef to prepare a lunch for us?"

"I'll talk to him... don't worry! You'll have everything you need!", Paul answered, smiling...

"Thanks again...", François answered, with a big smile on his face...

"(...) A picnic, huh? At the Bois de Boulogne, huh?", Will said... laughing...

Seeing François was blushing scarlet red, Paul started to laugh and said to Will:

"Oh stop that, will you? Look at him now: He's blushing..."

"Oh come on dude", Will answered, looking at François... "You're gonna have to get use to it, cause I don't intend to stop teasing you... And I only tease those I love, so..."

"You're just like your brother Ludwig...", François said, laughing...

"Yeah! It runs in the family..."

As he woke up, Saturday morning, François was all excited... and it showed on his face!

Ludwig opened his eyes... then looked at his friend...

"Picnic day, huh?"

"Yesssssss", François answered, with a big smile...

"I hope you have fun... both of you... I guess today you don't want me there with you, huh?", Ludwig asked, grinning...

"Not really...", François answered, laughing...

"I wonder why?"

"Oh you... Cut it out..."

"Okay okay..."

"So... what are you planning on doing today?", François asked his friend...

"Don't know yet... Think I'm gonna walk over to the Bois de Boulogne and spy on you...", Ludwig answered, laughing...