My German lover : Part 1

The Germans being so close to Paris, the Prime Minister Reynaud as well as Monsieur Lebrun, the President of the Republic, had declared Paris "Ville ouverte", meaning the French capital would not be defended. How was that possible? Paul had then asked himself. He didn't know the answer to that and, for that matter, he didn't understand what was going on: The whole thing was too unbelievable. And what about the rest? Yeah. He remembered...

Learning the whole Governement had fled Paris to try to find safety somewhere in the South of France, the rest of the population in Paris had suddenly decided to do the same and flee to the South.

To Paul, Premier Reynaud and President Lebrun were just cowards and traitors. They should have stayed, and Paris should have been defended, he thought. Through their incompetence, they were responsible for the big mess France was in now, and instead of doing something about it, they had just fled like rats. Yeah, Paul thought, they were cowards. He just hoped that, someday, they would be held accountable for what they had done...

But to Paul, it was clear his father was not a coward, although he had also fled to the South, with the rest of the family. No. Paul's father was not a coward...

Being a Minister in the French Cabinet, he had had no choice but to leave Paris. He had not chosen to leave: He had been ordered to do so. Being part of the Government, he had to go wherever the President had decided to go...

Now Paul could remember the emptiness he had felt after everyone had gone. He could remember how he had felt last Thursday, June 13th, just two days ago, when he had gone through Place de la Concorde on his way to pay a visit to his Grandma at the hospital. He had felt miserable. Everyting was so unreal. So aberrant. Everything was so quiet. He could remember that on Place de la Concorde he had seen no car... no traffic... Nothing. He had look up the Champs Elysees Avenue, and it was totally empty. Except for a few stranded dogs, he had seen no one. It was so strange. Oh, yes, he remembered now, he had seen a few men walking through Place de la Concorde, but they had not spoken to him. They were walking with emptiness in their eyes. He had not spoken to them either. Instead, he had been through Place de la Concorde, then to the hospital. He had paid a visit to his Grandma and then, he had gone back home quickly...

That night, it had been hard to fall asleep... Everything was too quiet in the house. For the first time in his life, he was all alone. His whole world was crumbling right before his eyes, and there was nothing he could do about it. What a way to loose your illusions, he had thought. Obviously, his golden childhood had come to an abrupt end! Sure, at eighteen, he was no longer a kid... but nevertheless, all the recent events had come to him like a chock. He had not been prepared for that...

The moning after, he had woken up and had heard noises outside the house. Opening a window, he had heard something over there. Was it music? At the Arc de Triomphe? Nah. That was just not possible, was it? Wanting to find out what was going on, he had gotten dress and had decided to go see for himself. He had walked his way to the Arc and then, he had seen it.

THEY WERE HERE!!!!

The Germans were here. He was stunned. He could remember all too well how he had felt... what he had seen...

Yes, there was music alright... the military kind. He didn't liked it. He had seen a German army officer, riding on a splendid white horse, watching his victorious troops marching in front of him, down the Champs Elysees Avenue.

Looking at them, Paul had smiled to himself, seeing the Germans had not dared to march through the Arc. They were just going around it...

Now Paul could remember vividly the sound made by the German soldiers, goose-marching down the Champs Elysees Avenue. It was awful. He hated that sound. He had seen enough!

Walking back to his home, he remembered how everything had seem so quiet on Avenue Foch... Nevertheless, having seen what he had seen, he had decided he would not pay a visit to his Grandma that day. He had to admit to himself he was too frighten to go to the hospital, not knowing what was foing on in the city... Oh, he was not a coward... No. It was prudence, he thought. He would wait a day or two before he would go out again, so things would have time to settle down a bit... Yeah... that's it, he had thought, lets wait a day or two...

But the day after, Saturday the 15th, he had felt too restless to stay home. He had to go to the hospital since the phone line was dead and he couldn't call nurse Giroux to inquire avout his Grandmother...

Yeah, he had to go. Beside, he wanted to see what was going on outside... He wouldn't use his father's car though. He instinctively knew that wouldn't be a good idea. He would ride his bike instead.

Now he could remember it was while riding his bike down the Champs Elysees Avenue he had been stopped by German soldiers at a check point. How could he ever forget about that? It had happened this very morning, but seemed to have happened so long ago... He had not forgotten though!

The German soldiers were Feldgendarmen, but Paul had not known that at the time. Seeing he had not his ID with him, the soldiers had taken his bike away and put him into an army truck, where he had met with others. He had learned from them about the new decree from the Kommandantur, concerning the identification papers. All the others had been arrested for the same reason: Like him, they didn't have their papers with them.

Later, they had been taken somewere, not very far though. But Paul didn't know then where they had been taken, since an awning had been drawn over the truck. Now the rest was history... That's when he had seen Will for the first time...

Ah, yeah, Will... quite a guy, Paul was now thinking... Very nice. Very friendly. Very handsome too. There was something special about that guy, Paul thought. He just didn't know what. Not yet.

Coming back to reality, Paul looked at his Grandma. She was peacefully resting. He decided he would leave her to rest for a while, and go back to Will, and have a chat with him...

Paul rose and quietly left the room to find Will. He found him right outside the room, sitting on a chair, peacefully dozing... Paul took his time to look at him. Since Will was asleep, he could take all the time he wanted to look at the guy...

Indeed, Will was a very good-looking dude, Paul thought. Very handsome. Paul could see Will had broad shoulders. With his golden blond hair, he was just perfect. Will was quite a hunk, Paul thought. Women were probably chasing after him all the time... Was he married? Paul looked at Will's fingers, but found no wedding-ring. Did he have a girlfriend? Paul would have to ask him...

But why the hell would he be asking such a question, Paul suddenly thought. It was none of his business, was it? What the hell was he tinking about, paul asked to himself... Why was he staring at Will like that? Yeah, the guy was nice and kind, but you know... a guy is just a guy, and nothing else, no? What's wrong with me? Have I lost my mind? Paul asked himself.

Paul decided to brush avay all those stupid thoughts and leaning to Will, slightly touching his shoulder to wake him up, Paul said:

"Hey... Look... I'm running away now..."

Will slowly opened his eyes to look at Paul, and with a smile on his face he then said:

"Oh... sure! I can see that... running so fast I can't recapture you" he replied.

"Yeah, with that well toned body of yours, you would recapture me in no time at all..."

Will burst out laughing at Paul's remark. Then, realizing where they were, he said:

"Sorry about that". He stoopped laughing and looked around to see if his burst of laughs had disturbed anyone. No. No problem with that. Everything was quiet. Looking back at Paul, he said:

"Beside, pal, you're not my prisoner... so why would I be running after you?"

"...Perhaps you don't consider me to be your prisoner, but that's what your Superior officer thinks I am..."

"Told you Paul... he's not a bad guy. Just doing his job, that's all. Heck... he could have sent you to prison like the others, you know. Did he do that? No. He let me accompany you... That should teach you something about him..."

"I guess so..."

"Anyway, how's your Grandma?"

"She's resting for now. I don't think she will last for very long though..."

"I feel sorry for you, you know?"

"Don't. I saw it comming and had time to make my peace with the fact that she will soon died..."

"Yeah... I know what you mean..."

"Think I will go back to her now, and see how she doing..."

"Yeah"

So Paul went back to his Grandma and a few minutes later, came back to Will, asking him:

"Could you go fetch nurse Giroux... Please? I think she's not well at all..."

"Sure"

Paul went back into the room, and kept looking at the old lady... He couldn't hear her breathing... In a second, Will came back with nurse Giroux. She quickly leaned over the old lady, trying to feel her pulse. She couldn't find it. She tried again. She found nothing. She opened one of the old lady's eye, looked into it, then closed it again. She tried again to find a pulse, but to no avail. She waited for a few seconds before saying anything, then she turned to where Paul and Will were standing and, with tears in her eye, she said to Paul:

"I'm sorry, Monsieur Paul..."

"Is she dead?" Paul asked her

"Yes, she is I'm affraid".

Hearing that, Paul started to shake like a leaf. Tears were now running down his cheeks... Seeing that, and without any hesitation, Will took Paul into his strong arms, holding him tightly:

"I'm so sorry, Paul. I don't know what to say" he told him.

Seeing Will was taking care of Paul, nurse Giroux quietly left the room, closing the door behind her.

Keeping his embrace tight around Paul, Will said:

"Let go Paul, let it all go..."

A torrent of tears came down Paul's face, his head resting on will's chest. It kept going for a while, then it stopped. And so did the shaking. Suddenly, Paul felt very secured into Will's strong arms and his embrace felt very soothing. They stayed like that for a while, not mouving. Not talking. Then, Paul mouved his head to look at will and, finding his blue eyes, he smiled at him.

"I'm okay now... Thanks, I needed that..."

Hearing that, Will let go of Paul. Paul turned to Will to say:

"I apologize Will. I lost control over myself..."

"No need to apologize Paul. It's not every day we loose some one we love..."

"Oh, it's not just that. That was just the drop that caused the bucket to overflow. I guess I've been through too much the last few days, and I couldn't take it anymore. I had to explose I guess. Thanks for being with me when that happened..."

"I'm glad I'm here with you..."

Paul kept silent for a few minutes. He was lost into his deep thoughts. Too many things had happened too fast. For a while, he kept staring at the wall in front of him. Then, turning to Will, he said:

"What else is going to happen to me now... I mean... what worst could happen. Guess I've hit the bottom of the barrel, haven't I?"

"Well, look at it the other way around: You've successfully been throuh being interrogated by German officers, you've made it on time to see and talk to your Grandma before she died... It's not so bad, you know... Now, I do realized it's no fun for you guy, me being here... but..."

"No, no Will" Paul said, interrupting Will "I'm so gratful to you for you leing here with me. Thanks a lot for your support. I don't know how I would have mannaged without you, the last hours" he said to Will, very sincerely.