My Life & Cory Ricci

My heart was pounding , and I didn't know if she knew that the lady behind me was my mother. It was only going to be seconds before it clicked. She handed her keys to the ckecker to scan her club card and I saw a picture holder with a picture of her dog on her keychain.

"Is that a picture of Shotsie on you key chain?" I said.

"I thought you looked familiar sweeite, whats your name?"

"Joshua" I said

"Where do I know you from Joshua? How do you know my dogs name?"

By now my mom and this lady are looking at each other and the lady still hasn't pieced it together. Like I was as hostage and she was the negotiator. I looked her right in the eyes with my mom right behind me. I wanted her to know that she couldn't say anything, and had to go along with what I was saying.

"You where walking Shotsie on Chalk Hill. Remember? I almost rode my bike over the edge on accident, remember? If you hadn't yelled out and warned me I'd probably be a gonner right now." I said.

My mom gasped and then scolded me for not telling her about it before. The lady hugged me and told me that she worried about me and wondered if I was okay. 

"Oh! I'm not careless like that anymore." I said. 

"That's good to hear. Honey" She said. The lady who saved my life came back into my life after more then 3-years. Then walked out again and I never bothered to ask her what her name was. But I found a few months later that her name was Ruth. I saw her picture in the paper, my heart sank. That meeting in the supermarket was no chance encounter. For the first time, I realized that neither was out first meeting that afternoon up on Chalk Hill. This lady was supposed to meet me on Chalk Hill because my life was new and had just begun. I'm certain that I was supposed meet her in the super market because her life was old, and it was coming to an end. I got a chance to say Thank You, don't worry about me. I'll be okay.

Ruth Woods 1917 - 1980

-----------------------------------
(her picture)

Born on June 12, 1917 in Anoka, Mn.
Ruth passed away suddenly and
unexpectadly on May 20, 1980 at the 
age of 63. Ruth moved to Southern
California in 1940 to attend Whittier
College. She is proceded in death
by her first husband Daniel, eldest
son Micheal. She is survived by her 
daughter Leslie, of West Covina, and
surviving son Jack, of Arcadia.

Active in her community since she 
retired in 1978. Ruth spent the last 
3-years voluntering countless hours
at the Dept.of Mental Health Service
and overseeing suicide prevention
programs. Memorial services will be
held on fridy at The Little Chappel in
the Rose Hills Memorial Park in
Whittier.. Burial services will be
private.

I think that on that day in the supermarket, my mom picked up on the fact that there was more to the story between me and that lady. Ruth was too emotional over something that had a good turn out. She said that she has worried for years and I think my mom picked up on that. I mean unless they lady had spent 3 years worrying that I might "accidentially" walk off a cliff again someday.

I asked my mom to take me to her funeral. She told me that it was private for family and I said that I would just stand a little ways away. There was only a hadful of people there, maybe 15 or 20 and I listened to the service. I never saw Ruth's dog until it took off running and barking. A lady was chasing the dog as it ran towards the road where all the cars where parked. I saw a green maintenance truck and the dog heading in the same direction.

"SHOTSIE ! " I hollered. The small white dog stopped, turned, and ran up the embankment towards me dragging it's red leash. I got down and petted the dog. White hairs where getting all over my suit. The dog jumps and I'm on the ground being licked to death by this hyper dog. As the lady comes up the hill to get the dog she looks at me and stops. She starts crying and I thought that it was wierd because she was crying when when I first saw her walking towards me. She stopped dead in her tracks and put her hand over her heart. It reminds me of Ruth that day. This had to be Ruth's daughter. "Leslie, of West Covina" as it said in the newspaper. She's trying to speak.

"I'm just going to die if you tell me that you name is Joshua" She said.

"Okay then, I better not tell you my name then Leslie of West Covina." I said.

She starts crying for real and tells me to follow her back to the service. We stood quietly and the service was over about 10 minutes later. I thought that it was wierd that sombody could save a human life and when it was all said and done, they got planted in the ground in a matter of minutes. A guy walk's over and he's got tears too.

"Christ! Les. don't tell me this is Joshua?" He says. The guy was Ruth's son "Jack, of Arcadia"

I guess that Ruth had told them years ago about what she saw up on Chalk Hill. 

"I had never seen my mother happier then the day she ran into you and your mother in the supermarket. She had always felt that you chose another time and place to finish what you started." Leslie said.

My mom got out of the car and started walking up the embankment. Ruth's kids saw the fear in my eyes and they told me not to worry, they knew "they story" as Ruth called it. But I was started crying and it was all of this lying and covering up that had been making me misrable. I swear I heard Ruth's muffled voice coming from her casket.

"Tell her honey! - She's your mother. - I'm a mother, and we don't stop loving our children. No matter what"

I handed Shotsies leash to Leslie and took my moms hand. We walked up the embankment to a little cement bench. My mom was worried. 

"Joshua, what's the matter?"

"That day that I met Ruth on Chalk Hill. I wasn't on my bike mom and Ruth didn't warn me. She came down the trail as I was about to jump from the cliff."

My mother screamed and hugged me. She didn't even ask why but she knew that I was about to tell her because her hands where shaking. I looked and could see Ruth's son and daughter watching us. I took a deep breath.

"Mom, do you remember Cory Ricci? Well all during that summer before he moved away we hung out and I don't know what happened but I fell in love with him mom. I was in love with Cory but he left and didn't even say goodbye. So I decided to kill myself by jumping off the cliff because I was gay and couldn't have Cory as my boyfriend. But Ruth stopped me."

My mother was a mess, and she told me that Cory wasn't the only boy in the world. And that I'd find one better then Cory. Ordinarly I'd become outraged by anyone who said that there was someone better then Cory, but I understood the spirit in which she said it. I never went to the public restrooms looking for sex after that day. I set my mind on finding the next best thing to Cory how ever long that would take.

I spent the 8th, 9th, 10th, and 11th grade having sex while looking for someone who could make me feel the way Cory did. The way I felt up on Chalk Hill that beautiful Sunday afternoon. That kiss, my first kiss. But I would have no such luck. But the day after Ruth's funeral I stopped all of that reckless behavior.

As high school was coming towards it's final year, I was comfortable with the fact that I was sexually, and emotionally attracted to members of the same sex. I had stayed clear of the public restroom for nearly 6 months, but it was wearing me down and I had an itch up my ass that only a man could scratch. I gave in and headed to the mall restrooms. 

I had spent an hour going to several restrooms looking for a man to scratch the itch deep in my ass, but it wasn't meant to be, not today at least. But then I spotted this guy walking through the mall parking lot. His body is tanned, and his dark brown hair is cropped tightly on the sides and spiked on top. He was wearing a grey pair of Oakley sunglasses. He's wearing those sikly basket ball shorts and his ass cheeks are fucking hot. His legs where hairy and that drove my nuts. I could dry hump a hairy leg and nut in a matter of minutes. I reached down and gave my cock a loving squeeze as I drove passed. Then suddenly this feeling washes over my entire body, I gasp and sucked in air, as the goose bumps appear on my arms. I haven't felt this feeling in years. I had always thought that Cory was the only one who'd ever make me feel that way. There is no way I can allow this new stranger to just walk across a parking lot and out of my life. No Way! It's been 4 years since I have felt what I thought that I would never feel again. I can't let this one get away from me, I just can't.

I stop my car and frantically tear open my glove box to retrieve a road map. I knew that it was going to seem lame, but I had to think quick. By the time I stopped and got out of my car, this latan looking hottie was less then 75 feet away. By the time I was unfolding the map by my trunk. I hear him speak. He turns like he going to walk away. But her turns back towards me again shaking his head. Very loudly he speaks to me.

"NO FUCKING WAY! - JOSH! -- Holy Fuck! -- Look at you, you're a fuckin' man!" He says.

I 'm looking and start scanning my memory banks for the name to go with the face of this brown haired beauty, His Oakley's are obscuring his eyes, I don't know this guy. I don't think I do?

"JOSHUA! -- It's Me!" He says and my knees buckle. -- little white spots start shooting through my field of vision from bottom to top. - He called me Joshua. - I see the black asphault rushing up towards me. - Only Cory would call me Joshua. -- I'm Passing Out! - It's Cory! - 4 years has passed. I still don't believe it He's changed so much! - IT'S CORY! - It's Cory! - I remember thinking as I felt my body slam into the black
asphault - BANG! - then it was dark. 

I open my eyes to find him, this older version of Cory, this imposter, slapping my cheeks. 

"Dude! What happened? You fainted" The stranger said.

"Take off those shades!" I demanded. 

He removed the sunglasses and there they where, - Those eye that I had burned to memory. The long curly blond strands of hair where gone, The rounder, softer cheeks have been replaced by more defined edges, and skin that was once so soft and smooth now requires daily shaving. But the eyes remain the same. It's him , It's Cory, It's Cory, He came back to me, and tears started to run freely as I threw my arms around his neck. I hug him and don't recall thinking about it as much as realizing as it was happening. My clinched fist slammed into his stomach right above the belly buttom. Cory flys back landing on his ass. He can't breath - Because I've knocked the wind out of him with a single punch. How dare you!

"Where have you been? and why didn't you tell me that you where moving?" I said sadly.

"Because I knew that I wouldn't be able to say some.......Because I knew........I'm sorry Josh!.....okay?"

"Damn Cory! I fuckin' cried for weeks man!...I missed you and I didn't think I was ever gonna see you!"

"Really? You missed me?" Cory said."

"Of course I did - I thought you hated me for something I did that last week we hung out, remember? 

"No! - Josh. - We where kids and that stuff was fun. - Aint nothing wrong with what we did."

"God! Cory - Look at you. - You've changed so much. - You shave - And you've got a really great ass!"

"Ha! Ha! Ha! - Same Old Josh! - Man! It's great to see you! - What's been happening?" Cory said.

"Too much to go over right here. - Plus I'm waiting for an explaination for not saying goodbye"

"Can we get to that some other time? - I'm a bag of emotions right now." Cory asked.

"Sure! I mean as long as you don't up and disapper on me again?" I said.

"Joshey! What are you doing tonight? There is so much that I want to tell you. So many things that I want to say to you. My mom is in Las Vegas with Tom until Sunday afternoon. Come over to my house and stay with me. It's right by my old house. Please Joshey, It's really important." Cory asked.

"I forgot how I loved hearing him call me Joshey. I agreed to go to his house later that night."

END PART ONE HERE