My name is Locke 2

Getting up Monday morning was a terrible experience. I was not ready to face my friends after my weekend in heaven. Gavin and I had agreed that we would need to keep our relationship a secret; and a big part of that would be going back to pretending the other didn’t exist. I didn’t know how I would be able to do that. He was on my radar before but now that I have touched him, held him, how was I going to pretend he didn’t matter. I didn’t know if I was that good an actor.

I met Jack outside school and he was telling me about the party I missed on Friday. I had called him over the weekend telling him that my dad grounded me for some lame reason. This was believable because my dad was always trying to get me not to hang out with Jack and the other guys. He thought that they would bring me down and that I was destined to get some girl pregnant and be doomed to repeat his mistakes. Thanks dad for constantly reminding me that I am a mistake. He, along with everyone else was fooled into thinking that I was some player screwing anything in a skirt. Maybe for fun I would ask Gavin to wear a skirt. Whoa, Locke, get ahold of yourself. No daydreaming about that smooth, cream colored skin or those lips.

“Hey, dumbass, the bell rang! We gotta go or we’ll get detention again!” Jack told me in his usual tactful manor. He punctuated the statement with his signature punch to the arm. I swear I have a permanent bruise from that shit.

I spent most of my morning distracted. I wasn’t sure about lunch. That was one place I knew I would see him. I guess I had to get this over with. I had never felt so torn in my life. On one hand I was dreading going into the cafeteria, on the other my heart was longing to see him again. I walked into the room with Jack and my other friends and ventured a glance in the direction that Gavin usually sits. My heart stopped, there he was sitting with the girls holding court. His hair was down and spilling over his shoulder. He was wearing tight black jeans and a tight white button down shirt unbuttoned to reveal a distracting amount of his chest. I looked away in time to see Jack looking at me strangely. Fuck! I casually got in line to buy lunch with Jack behind me.

“I need to talk to you, bro, after school.” He whispered. He sounded angry. Dammit! I knew that I couldn’t keep my feelings about Gavin a secret. My only defense is to deny everything and hope that he buys it.

The rest of my day went by with a sense of anxiety. I did not see Gavin for the rest of the day, but every time I looked at Jack he glared at me. This is bad. I can’t have Jack telling everyone at school that I’m gay. I cannot live as a pariah for the rest of the time I am in this shitty town.

Jack caught up with me when I was on my way to swim practice.

“Can you skip practice? I need to talk to you.” Jack asked me. He looked more nervous than angry now. What could be up with him?
“Sure, Jack, just let me tell coach I have to go help my dad today.” I knew coach didn’t mind me skipping practice; I practiced a lot on my own so I was about as good as I was going to get.

I met up with Jack at his truck. He looked a little pale and very nervous now. I walked up to him and put my hand on his shoulder, trying to calm him down. He looked around wildly before he grabbed my head and kissed me forcefully. I struggled out of his grasp and stared at him, disbelieving.

“Dude, what was that about?!” I yelled. I was in shock. Never in a million years would I have thought that Jack would kiss me. Sober at least. I mean there was that time he was drunk and tried to slip me the tongue, laughing when I pushed him off. And then there was the time that he grabbed me from behind when I was dancing with Kathy McGintry and started dry humping me. I thought all of this was just dumb jock humor. Ways to embarrass your friends at parties. When I think back on it, he never really did that to anyone else.

Jack was leaning against his truck with his head in his hands. I ran my hands down my face trying to work out what had just happened.

“I’m sorry, Locke.” Jack said mournfully. “I saw the way you were looking at that new kid and thought that maybe…” he stopped and looked up, his eyes red threatening tears. “Please don’t tell anyone.” He begged.

“Jack, I don’t know what to say man. I won’t tell anyone about this, but why did you think it would be ok?” I asked. I needed to know what he saw today.

“I don’t know man. It looked like you were checking out the new guy. I never told anyone about me because…I just couldn’t. I always liked you but you were straight. Today I thought that maybe if you were checking out the new guy you might be like me.” His face was full of pain and shame. I knew how he felt, but I was the lucky one. The one I love loves me back.

“Hey, I think we should go somewhere and talk about this. This is no place to have this discussion. Come on, let’s go to Hank’s, have a burger.” I pat his arm and head over to my truck. I glance at the school and see Gavin staring at me. Our eyes lock and I notice he looks sad. I can’t stand to see that look on his face so I motion for him to call me and mouth the word later. He nods and turns away. I look back at Jack and know immediately that he saw my exchange with Gavin. He looks pissed but still follows me to Hank’s.

Hank’s Grill used to be one of the popular hang outs for kids at our school. A few years ago a couple of chain restaurants hit our town, leaving Hank’s in the dust. Only the older, more nostalgic townies go to Hank’s so I knew that Jack and I would have privacy.
Once we settled into a booth and had ordered we just stared at each other for a long while. Soon our food was brought to us and we broke the tension by pretending to eat our fries.

“So you saw me and Gavin.” I finally say. Jack tensed and I could see his jaw tighten. Wow, he is really pissed. “Can I trust you to keep my secret as I will keep yours?” I ask him. Jack sighs heavily and placing his head in his hands once again murmurs a yes. I sigh with relief.

“Why him?” he asked me quietly. I told him the only answer I had.

“I love him.” I heard him gasp at my admission.

“I never had a shot, did I?” he looked at me; in pain but also resignation.

“Sorry, Jack. I have always been gay, but this is the first time I met someone who makes me want to risk everything.” It feels good to tell someone. I want to shout it from the hills, but I know what that would mean. “I still think of you as my good friend. Can we keep our friendship?”

“Yeah, bro.” He smiled and took a huge bite of his burger. I smiled back and started eating as well. “I guess this really doesn’t change anything between us.” He said wryly. “I mean it’s not like I had you and lost you. Plus, Gavin is beautiful, I don’t blame you.” He said sullenly.

We talked about our shared time in purgatory, always hiding who we really were. We both had some suspicions on who else in school might be gay. Most of them were obvious, but a few that Jack mentioned surprised me, jocks and other guys who seemed too masculine to be gay. I guess it was foolish of me to think that I was the only straight acting gay person in the world. Why do we do that? Assign roles and stereotypes to each other? I wish it were different, I wish I could live openly as I really am.

Soon I was saying goodbye to Jack. I wanted to get home and call Gavin to tell him what had happened. I got home in time to see my dad on the phone telling whoever it was I wasn’t home yet. He saw me and told them that I had just walked in.

“Some kid named Gavin?” My dad knows all of my friends, even though he doesn’t like them. He didn’t look pleased that I had a new mysterious friend. I took the phone from him and headed to my room. I really wish I had a cell phone, but my dad was completely against them. He’s a little old fashioned and a bit paranoid.

“Gavin,” I breathed into the phone.

“Locke,” he answered. I could hear he was tense. “What happened today? Why were you with Jack instead of at swim practice?” He sounded a bit accusatory. I know that I would be the same with him if I saw him ditch school with some guy. I started to explain what happened. He felt sorry for Jack and relieved that I did not share Jack’s feelings. Soon the conversation turned to other things.

“I wish you were here.” His voice was a whisper as he said those five words that made my heart race.

“What would you do if I were?” I whispered back.

“Baby, maybe you should come over and find out.” He giggled. It was beautiful to hear. He sounded so sexy. I told him I would ask my dad if I could go and then call him back.

I raced downstairs to return the phone and find my dad. He was standing by the phone base with another cordless; he was pale and looked furious.

“Dad, what is going on?” I asked him. I didn’t know what the other phone meant; I had never seen it before.

“I think you need to tell me why you are talking like a faggot to some pansy ass fucking queer on the fucking phone!” he seethed at me. He looked at me with so much hatred. My heart was threatening to beat out of my chest. I fell to my knees in front of him, grief stricken. All this time I was worried about what people in the town would think. I never thought I would have to worry about my father. I was sure he wouldn’t be happy, but this was something completely unexpected. He’s my dad; he’s supposed to love me no matter what.

“Dad, please don’t…” I begged.

“Don’t call me that. You are not my son. Get the fuck out of my house.” He said this quietly and without any emotion except for contempt.

I went upstairs and grabbed some things in a bag and left the house. He was in the garage working on his car and didn’t look up to see me leave. I got in my truck and headed to Gavin’s. I really didn’t want him to see me like this but I had nowhere else to go. I pulled up in front of his house and once I stopped the truck I could hold onto my control no longer. I sat for what seemed like eternity sobbing. Crying for the first time since I was a little kid, I was overcome with grief. I had so desperately wanted to get out of this town, but I always believed my dad would be a big part of my life. He just tossed me aside like I was trash. The pain racked my body as the sobbing continued.

Soon I was just lying across the seat in the cab of my truck. I heard a faint knock out of the window and looked up seeing Gavin’s worried and confused face. I sat up and rolled down my window. This was not Gavin. This was what Gavin would look like in twenty years. He was breathtaking, almost as beautiful as his son, maybe more so in his own way. This was Gavin’s father.

“Hello…” he greeted me; the look of bewildered concern had not left his face.

“I’m sorry, my name is Locke. I am here to see Gavin.” I said quickly, wiping my face.

“Gavin is at home. He lives with his mother.” He said a little sharply. His eyes softened when he saw my chastened expression. “I’m sorry, I don’t really like Gavin’s mother and it’s hard for me to speak about her without an edge to my voice.” He smiled at me and offered his hand. “I am Edgar, Gavin’s father.” I took his hand and shook it; now it was my turn to wear a bewildered expression. He invited me in telling me he would call Gavin over when we got inside.

I followed him in continued with him to the kitchen where Gavin had showed me to last time. Edgar motioned me to sit at the breakfast bar and pulled out a bottle of sparkling water for me from the fridge. I realized how thirsty I was and took it murmuring a thank you.

“Crying makes you thirsty so drink up.” He smiled at me. I flushed, embarrassed that someone saw me like that. “So let me call Gavin and then we will talk.” He took his cell out of his pocket and called a number.

“Cecilia! So wonderful to hear you.” His voice did not sound genuine. He took the phone away from his ear for a minute and I could hear a woman’s voice, obviously shouting. “Now, now, Cici, I gave that phone to Gavin just so that you wouldn’t have to hear my voice. It is entirely your fault that you answered it…I need to talk to Gavin, his friend is here and needs to see him…no…no, Cici, you know I don’t play games like that. Would you like to talk to his friend yourself? No? Please put Gavin on HIS phone. Thank you…” he paused to look at me and give me a reassuring smile. I sat there watching, slightly embarrassed to have witnessed this personal display of family drama.

“Gavin, son, your handsome friend with a pick-up truck is at my house. Mind telling me why he thinks you live here instead of at your mother’s?” My skin feels hot; I realize only then my mistake. I was too wrapped up in myself to remember that Gavin didn’t actually live here. I hope I didn’t get him into any trouble. “Well then, come over here…I don’t care what your mother says, he is in no shape to drive and I refuse to go anywhere near there, your mother would have my balls…Ok, see you soon.” He sounded very cold toward Gavin’s mother, but very warm toward Gavin.

“Ok, then, we don’t have a lot of time so let’s hear it. Why were you crying in front of my house for almost an hour.” He asked very matter of fact. I flushed and dropped my head. I had finished my water and noticed that he was bringing me another.

“I’m sorry, sir.”

“Edgar…please.” He said warmly.

“Sorry…uh…Edgar.” It felt strange calling an adult by his first name. It was too familiar, but I didn’t want to annoy him. “My dad kicked me out of the house and I am pretty shook up about it.”

“Did he find out you were gay?” Edgar asked me. I looked up at him, shocked. “Don’t worry, I know my son is gay and how he sounded about you, I am sure he is very fond of you. You have to be fond of him too to come looking for him in such a state.”

I waited a long while before answering him. “I never told anyone before Gavin. I was worried about how I would be treated in this town, but I never thought that my own father…” I stop and collect myself. I didn’t want to cry anymore, it was so humiliating. “I mean, since my mother died we were all the family each other had. I didn’t expect him to throw me a parade…but…I didn’t expect him to turn his back on me either.”

Edgar looked at me with sympathy. He sighed and went to what I thought was a cabinet. He grabbed a wine glass and poured himself a glass of red wine from a spout inside the cabinet. “wine dispenser. Keeps it at the perfect temperature.” He answered my unspoken question. After taking a long pull from his glass he spoke. “Gavin is my reason for existing.” He began. “I had such hopes for him.

Good schools, marrying the right girl from a wealthy family, giving me grandkids.” He paused, took another drink from his glass and continued. “When he told me he was gay, I lost it. I said things to him that he and I will have to live with forever. It took me a long time before I was able to see what I was doing to my son. Even longer for him to begin forgiving me.” I stared at this beautiful man trying to understand what is was he was telling me.

All I was sure of was it was important. “We do what we think is best for our children. Sometimes it actually is what is best, and sometimes it is the worst thing we could ever do. You don’t have to forgive your father right now, son.” He looked at me sternly and I could see the pain swimming behind his eyes. “If your father is a good man, he will understand in his own time and you can go from there. Just don’t write him off yet.”

I looked at Edgar for a while, contemplating what he said. This man before me, the mature version the man I loved was breaking my heart. For him I would keep hoping that my dad would come around. “Thank you for listening to me, sir.” I whispered to him.

He laughed and said, “Old habits I guess. Ok, you don’t have to call me Edgar if you don’t want to. But please stop with the ‘sir’ business.” He joked. I smiled at him and he looked at me a little stunned. “Well, I guess I can see why my son is so taken with you.” He locked eyes with me and I started to feel uncomfortable. He continued to stare into my eyes until we both heard the door slam open at the front of the house and Gavin’s lovely voice calling, “Locke! Where are you?”

I melted, I was so happy to hear his voice. I got up from my stool to rush toward him. My heart skipped when I saw him and I ran to embrace him. Soon he was in my arms and I was crying again, this time in relief to be with my beloved once more. I had only just held him yesterday but it felt like an eternity. My mouth searched for his and I kissed him with all the love and anguish I was feeling. I wanted to lose myself in him. He was running his hands down my head and back and returning my kiss fervently. “Baby, are you ok?” he asked when we finally broke the kiss. His face was etched with concern. I told him about my dad finding out, that he was listening to our conversation. I told him that he kicked me out.

“Locke, I want you to stay with me, Ok?” he said staring into my eyes. My heart sang with knowing that he loved me so much.

“Gavin, your mother doesn’t have the room to have another teenager live with her.” We finally acknowledge Edgar. “Locke can stay here and you can visit him whenever you like.” He smiled.

“Father, you know how mother is going to feel about this. I want to stay wherever Locke is.” Gavin admonished Edgar. “Let me just ask mother first. I don’t want to hurt her. You never consider her feelings.”

“My apologies, son.” Although he didn’t look sorry. “I would love for you to stay with me, please consider it. Meanwhile, until you have worked something out, Locke can stay here in your room. I wouldn’t want my son’s boyfriend out on the street.” He said with a hint of humor in his voice.

“Thank you, father. Would it be alright if we stayed here for tonight? Mother will not be happy, but I want to say with Locke tonight.” I was taken aback by how formal Gavin and his father were to each other. It was a little unsettling.

“You are always welcome here, son, you know that. I will leave you two this evening; I have some business to take care of. I’m leaving tomorrow morning for a few days. I will be back on Friday. Perhaps we can have dinner? Talk?” Edgar said with hope in his voice.
“Sure, father, dinner sounds nice. Is Locke invited?”

“Of course.” At this, Edgar left us in the main room and headed upstairs.

“Come with me, I have to call my mom.” Gavin said, smiling at me. I followed him as he dialed his mother’s number. I knew he was taking me to his room. Even with all that had happened today, I couldn’t stop smiling, knowing that I was going to hold him again, soon.
“Mom! Hey….slow down! No, dad was not trying to manipulate me into living with him again!...Just..wa…HEY! Ok! Look, Locke is here and I am going to stay with him here at dad’s tonight. I want to bring him over to meet you tomorrow after school, ok?...Mom, you know I would never do that…Mom…

Please, I just want to spend the night with my boyfriend! He needs me right now, and I don’t have time to deal with your insecurities! … Ok…sorry…I know…sorry…please, I was just frustrated. I will see you after school tomorrow, I promise…yes, promise…ok, I love you too. Bye.” Gavin sat on his bed and heaved a great sigh. I sat next to him and put my arm around him. He leaned into me and turned his head up to look at me.

“Hi.” He said with a heart melting smile.

“Hi.” I smiled back at him. I leaned in to kiss him. I didn’t know I could miss him so much in such a short amount of time. I reached my hand up to cup his cheek and run my thumb across his cheekbone. He moaned lightly in my mouth and deepened the kiss. When we broke the kiss he stood up and turned toward me. He started taking his shirt off and I moaned watching him. My body was on fire. After the day I had, I needed him, bad. I reached my hand out to stroke his now bare stomach and I could see him tremble at my touch. He reached for me and pulled my shirt over my head.

“My god you have a hot body.” He breathed as he ran his hands over my shoulders and chest. He pushed me back onto the bed and straddled me. I wanted to kiss him again but he was too far away. I tried to sit up but he pushed me back down, running his hands down my chest to my stomach. He fingers outlined my abs for a few seconds before he moved down to my jeans. He unbuttoned my pants and moved off of me, pulling my pants with him.

He removed my briefs and looked longingly at my cock. Seeing his face near my cock was so erotic, I knew that I wouldn’t be able to last long the first time. He stood up and unbuttoned his jeans, I sat up and grabbed his hips, pushing my face against his crotch, feeling his erection through his clothes. He groaned and pulled my head against him. I pulled his loosened jeans down with his underwear, letting his cock spring free. I looked up at him and kissed the tip lightly licking his piss slit. He gasped in delight. I put the head in my mouth and swirled my tongue around him, making him hiss.

“Locke, stop I don’t want to come yet, and you’ve got me so hot.” He pushed me down again. He moved to his nightstand and grabbed the bottle of lube. He didn’t have a condom and I sat up on my elbows.
“Gavin, are you sure?” I asked him. I really wanted to feel him skin on skin, but I needed to know he wanted it too.

“Yes. More than anything.” He breathed, echoing my words back to him the first time we made love. I pulled him toward me and kissed him hard. He laid me back onto the bed and handed me the lube. I grabbed him and rolled us over so that I was laying on him. He thrust his hardness against mine as we continued to kiss. I took the bottle and applied lube to my fingers, moving them down to his hole. My fingers circled and teased his opening until I inserted my index finger. He gasped at the intrusion and I kissed him again. Moving my finger in and out he began to squirm for more. I put a second and then a third finger inside him. He was breathing hard and bucking his hips to the rhythm I set.

“Please, Locke, I need you inside me.” He pleaded. I was aching to do as he asked. I stroked myself with the lube and placed my cock at his hole then pushed. He sucked up air through his teeth while trying to accommodate me. I took it slowly as I knew he didn’t have it easy at first. His ass was squeezing me so tightly; I thought any minute I could cum. After a while I got my entire length inside him. I kissed his forehead and then his lips as he adjusted to my intrusion. Finally he started moving onto me. I began to slowly ease out of him and push slowly back in. It was sweet agony trying to not fuck his brains out.

His ass felt so good on my cock. I sped up when I thought he could take it. He started moving to my speed and encouraging me to go faster. Soon I was pounding his ass as he was yelling at me to fuck him. This was heaven. I was pounding my cock into Gavin making him scream for more. He started to buck his hips more furiously while calling my name. I continued to fuck him hard, harder than I had ever done. He cried that he was cumming. I fucked him faster as he erupted onto his chest and mine crying out my name. The walls of his ass convulsed around me and I couldn’t hold on any longer. I came deep inside of him and collapsed.

I pushed myself up to look into his face. He was smiling at me, sated. I kissed him lightly and slowly pulled out, making him wince. “Sorry...” I started, but he placed a finger on my lips. He leaned up and kissed me, rolling us over on our sides. “I love you, Gavin.” I whispered. He smiled his dazzling smile at me.

“I love you too, Locke.” With that we got in a spooning position and drifted to sleep. I had a rough day. I found out my best friend was gay and liked me, my dad kicked me out of the house, I met Gavin’s handsome, but strange father. All of it meant nothing at this moment, with this beautiful man in my arms.

I awoke suddenly, having to use the bathroom. Gavin was still sleeping in my arms. I carefully pulled myself out of bed so I wouldn’t wake him. I put my jeans on and went to the bathroom that I knew was close by. After my piss, I realized that I was thirsty again. Damn crying, I don’t understand how women can do it all the time. It wears you out and makes you thirsty. I went to the kitchen to get another bottle of water. Water with bubbles, huh. I never thought I would like something like that, but it was pretty refreshing. I moved to the fridge and got a bottle out. When I closed the door I jumped.

“Hello, Locke. I see you have taken a liking to my San Pellegrino.” He smirked at me.

“Sorry…uh…I’ll get regular water.” I stammered. For some reason he made me very nervous.

“No, no! Help yourself. It is my favorite brand. Gavin likes Perrier better for some reason.” He said, his voice had a hint of distaste. “I’m glad someone other than me likes it.”

“Thanks… um… I’m going back to Gavin’s room, good night.” I started leaving the kitchen when Edgar halted me with a hand to my chest.

“Sounds like you are a good lover, Locke. Lucky Gavin. If you ever want to get fucked like that let me know.” He smiled at me as his hand moved down my chest to my stomach. I moved away from him before he could get any further. “Goodnight Locke.” He said and left me to stand there dumbfounded. I could get ahold of my feelings. I was rock hard. The thought of letting Edgar fuck me was both unsettling and erotic. Immediately I felt guilty. I’m in love with Gavin. How could I even think about doing anything with his dad? I shuddered with an internal chill. I went back to the fridge and saw that there were also Perrier bottles in there. I put the San Pellegrino back and grabbed two Perrier’s.

I made it back to Gavin’s room. I decided to not tell him about his dad’s indiscretion. The last thing I wanted was to get involved in his family’s drama. He sat up when he heard me come in.

“Oh, babe, thank you.” He smiled at me. My heart almost burst with the feelings running through me. There was no way anyone would get in the way of what we feel for each other. After drinking our water we made love again, and again. We went to sleep in each other’s’ arms once more. My dreams were full of making love to Gavin, and Gavin making me so happy.

Then my dreams shifted to a darker theme. Kissing Edgar and letting him hold me, suck me, fuck me. My eyes jerked awake, noticing that it was daylight. Gavin was still sleeping sweetly beside me. I had a hard on from dreaming of Edgar.

Fuck. I’m in big trouble.

End of Part II.