New School Year: New Crush: Part 2

Umm hey guys, this is the second part of my true story. Sorry to have taken so long but I have been very busy with end of the school year stuff. Anyways....

Here's the last paragraph from theast story to refresh your memory (:
""thats cool.. hey you wanna dirty talk.?;)" he texted
"uhmm..Let me eat breakfast dude.!" was my reply

"oh....sorry to bother you... Really sorry" he replied
Oh god... I didnt mean it that way.

"nah dude its okay.. So what you up to.?" I asked
"im in church school... I gotta go" he said...
Oh... I was left thinking...."

*** Continuation

It was 3p.m and my previous conversations with Ansel had me at a nervous breakdown. My nerves were being fried, i wasn't hungry at all, my hands were shaking, and i wasn't even aware of my family members talking to me. It was then when my dear crush decided to text me. The instant i heard my ringtone i jumped, and my hands shacked, and surprisingly a giggle escaped my mouth. Oh my god, i don't know why acted like this to just a simple crush.

"Hey bro" wow, that seemed kind of simple for the overreaction i had. My heart shattering i replied... "You out of church school.?". "LONG time ago. In fact i'm alone at home...lonely..." he said... Oh god not again. My little world started to dim at the edges, i grasped my iPhone so i would not drop it once more. "Oh.that's cool, mind if i come over?" GOD.! I can't believe i just texted that. I hope it doesnt sound too straightforward.!

"of course not, come over;)"
"where you live by though?" *I was sure i was past the point of hallucination

"Loyola university, take the train, get off at Howard, i'll pick you up" he said

"lol, alright, i'll be there in a few"

"bring a thong. It'll make you look sexier. you have a big ass" he told me
WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON.!
"uhmm...lol.sure.only if you wear some as well"
"I already have them on waiting for you babe" he tolf me.

I had to remind myself to breathe.

From there on, we dirty talked for more than an hour. He said we should pretend that we were having sex. *i was vaguely aware of my raging boner*. This time he did not back off. He said he'd stick a broom stick up my ass and suck my dick. He told me that he was going to come over for a sleepover and we should watch porn. We agreed.

I huge crash to my excitement that it sweeped the floors when he told me that he meant straight porn. BUMMER. He said he had to go, but yet kept on telling me what would happen if the straight porn got us too horny....and we ended up touching each other...my brain was goin in circles and i decided to ignore him. I think i was suffering of some time of nervous breakdown. I was shaking all the time, and i was at the brink of crying.

For a reason i did not know. All i knew was Ansel was most likely gay, and he wanted me. Only me. I was laughing hysterically, jumping in my room, singing, butterflies in my stomach impulsing me to jump and smile, and laugh. The rest of the afternoon came withh no text from my huge crush. I could not sleep all night. And so i decided to type all my feeling for Ansel on my phone. Let every word from my heart spill in there. I wrote.....

"Ansel, you do not realize how much you have become to mean to me. You are like the heroin to me. Like the sun is to a plant, like water is to the fish. I depend on you so much now. Ever since my eyes first set sight on you, I was blinded from all else but you. The way you talk,the way you move, the way you act, everything, however so insignificant, makes me fall more for you. I love you.

More than i had ever planned to accept. I love you. I want you. Please be mine. Because this yearning for you that goes on empty is killing me. Come to me, and fill the empty space of my heart that you have taken". I hadn't realised i was crying till i felt moisture at my eyes. I dabbed at them, and washed them away......

"Hi....o.O -Ansel"

"Morning Ansel". "Did you really mean all that .?"he asked. What.? What was he talking about.? "uhmmm...idk what you're talking about". "Really.?oh. I just wanted to let you know that i felt the same way. I love you". Oh my god.... I threw my phone on my bed. Jumped.!Laughed.! Screamed.! Cried.! And fell..... I woke up in the hospital bed... Apparently i didnt watch were i jumped so i hit my bed with my foot.. which made me fall and i Slammed my mirror, which left me terrible. "Concussion". Blahblah. I just wanted to see my love.
I noticed he stopped talking to me online....at school he totally avoided me.

He ignored my texts... I invited him to the movies face-face, but he instead said he hac something more important to do.. My world turned bleak. The gravity that held myself together disappeared.

He drifted farther and farther away from me, cruel faith pulling him away from me... And with him, he took all that was me.... My happiness, my love, everything i ever was... The pain cut horrible deep wounds in my heart.Every text i Ever read from me and him made the edges of the wounds burn...i felt myself fall apart, and so i had to tightly hold on to myself.

All color drained away from my vision, all print in life meaningless. I was an empty shell, i was just there 'in presence, but empty from everything inside.... I had nightmares... Not your traditional gore nightmares, something more terrifying than that. Always, in my dream, i handed, ripped my happiness from me, gave away myself to Ansel's palm...

And just when it semmed i could be happy without my happiness as long as he held my happiness and he was with me... He yanked himself away from me.... And ran away from at top speed, taking away all i was with him. This was usually the part when the screaming begun. I wasn't terrified of my part of my heart's happiness going away, i could give that out. It was the fact of my love ripping himself away from me, and leaving me alone, like an empty shell....

Weeks passed.....HALLOWEEN.... THANKSGIVING.....WINTER BALL..... WINTER VACATION.... CHRISTMAS.... NEW YEAR.....

It's hard to wake up from an empty dream. A sensation that nothing ever mattered, but you struggle to live yet... Its hard to wake up...but you do, I did... Come back numb...

"THATS IT.! YOU'RE GOING AWAY WITH YOUR UNCLE IN PHOENIX!" mother said..

*** Sorry the story ends in a gloomy mood... But this is what happened... A lot is still happening. As soon as i get time i will kepl you all updated. Till later(: -Rogelio