Retrospect

‘So, what was your first time like?’

I knew it was only a matter of time before my best friend would ask me that dreaded question. We laid on my wooden double bed covered with Chinese symbols and just… talked.

‘Why don’t you start?’ I asked, hoping to delay the divulgement.

‘I asked you first! C’mon, it can’t be that bad.’ On the contrary! My first time was the best I’ve ever had, but the problem was… it wasn’t with another female.

Slightly awkward silence fell upon the room, but in my head, two guys were battling over what should happen next: Should I tell Jason the truth, or make up some plagiarized heterosexual story? As my eyes patrolled the room, I noticed that the thin, long needle on my clock was moving remarkably slow.

‘OK.’ I said, mentally defeated. Jason was a very good listener and he understood people fairly well. What’s more, he was planning on becoming a psychologist. I decided to tell him the truth. If I really were his best friend, he wouldn’t abhor me because I’m not straight.

‘Let’s see.’ I said. ‘It was a perfectly quiet mid-winter afternoon, almost like today. I had just gotten back from school and my friend, Robert, said that I could come to his house because both of us didn’t understand the biology work at the time and we had quite a lot of homework. We were both 18 at the time, and we sat next to each other in biology.’ I added.

‘Anyway, I walked to his home and his mother showed me to his room. We sat on his bed and worked together, making up answers as we went, and (this I’ll never forget), we were at question 47 when my pen fell out of my hand and landed just next to him. He seemed to not notice it, so I bent over to find my pen and as I felt around, I accidentally touched him and he jerked and looked at me in a very confused way. Now, I don’t know if it was the fact that we were both 16 and our hormones were getting the best of us, or if the soda I drank had some form of Horny Goat Wheat inside it, but something in his dark-blue eyes just told me that he wanted to kiss me as badly as I wanted to kiss him, and so we moved closer to each other, and our lips touched.’

I saw that my friend had gotten a bit uncomfortable as I focused on him again and slipped back into the present.

‘Anyway, things got out of hand… from there and…’ but somewhere between the electrical pulses from my brain telling my mouth to move and my mouth, itself, the words got lost.

The seconds were, again, expanded to what felt like centuries until he finally replied:

‘No, no, please, continue. I’ve always wondered what it felt like.’

I don’t know if he trying to reassure me, or if he actually wanted to know, but I continued as prompted.

‘Well, we kissed for a minute or so, and we began to approach second base. He caressed my upper-body and my hair, and almost symmetrically, I did the same.

‘But you have to remember that we were both very confused and curious and anxious, and the tiny testosterones triggered by our touching each other wasn’t exactly helping. It was a very spontaneous thing.’ I said, trying to help him understand. I realized I had an unusually large amount of saliva left in my mouth because I couldn’t swallow.

‘Then he… climbed on top of me and forced me down onto the bed as he kissed the rest of my facial area.’ I said as I tried to imitate myself on my bed.

‘We managed to get out of our shirts and pants, and there was a brief moment where we just kinda… paused and looked at each other’s bodies.

‘He was so beautiful,’ I sighed with my eyes closed, trying to relive the experience ‘He had blond, spiky hair that seemed to—’

‘And then?’ my friend cut me off.

‘Then he slid his hand down my chest and into my boxers and he started to jerk me off slowly, almost… teasingly.’ I could see Jason was getting slightly exited at the thought.

‘He then kissed me from my face, to my neck and all the way down my abdomen,’ I said pointing out where he had kissed ‘and then he kissed my dick and slowly put it in his mouth and licked it so calmly I could hardly even feel it. It was one of the best feelings I had ever felt. He was so gentle as he sucked my penis in a definite adagio.’

Jason’s eyes were exceptionally big and he was definitely paying more attention to me than before.

‘I gave a sound that I know some kind of animal makes (but I don’t know what) just to let out some of my tension. It was rapture. I was in heaven. Everything else… didn’t seem to matter anymore: the wind blowing in from the window, the sunlight on my face, his mother probably still downstairs. I put my hands behind my head… like this,’ I said reflecting what I did ‘and just as I grew closer to orgasm, he stopped. He must’ve noticed my balls contracting or something, but he didn’t want me to come… yet, anyway. Still on top of me, he pulled my boxers completely off of my legs, took off his as well, spat in his hand, rubbed it onto his titanium alloy and very slowly inserted 7 inches of flesh into my rectum. I really don’t know what the diameter of his penis was, but it was enough to make me scream as he went past my prostate. He took it out, and forced it back in several times, each time a little faster. It was an anguish of searing pain that I was positive would last a couple of days.

‘He didn’t say a word, nor make any sound whatsoever, but I, on the other hand, was screaming at the top of my lungs, and he just went faster, and faster as I threw my head as far into the pillow as possible. I mean I was vociferating and he was just pushing a tenth of him into me deeper and deeper. I was (probably sub-cautiously) jerking myself off while he was doing this, and, again, he noticed me coming closer to orgasm, and pushed even deeper. We came, eventually, about 2 seconds apart from one another, and as he pulled his now slightly flaccid penis out of my anus, he collapsed next to me.

‘We just laid there and looked into each others eyes, breathing heavily, with the sunlight shining brightly onto our faces, and it was I who said something first:

‘Don’t you think that… people are going to think that we’re… you know… queer if they find out?’ but he replied:

‘Luke, the only people that are queer… are the ones who don’t love anyone.’ ’

TO BE CONTINUED