Retrospective: Part 1 from 2

On the 10th of August, I closed my front door and smiled as I took a deep breath of summer air. As I strolled through my quiet, suburban neighborhood. I said good morning to Mrs Murdock as she trimmed her roses in the front garden, the frequent cutting sound of her stainless steel scissors was something I heard all too often in the summer time as she tended her garden. She had lived next door to me since I can remember, she had watched me grow up. As I continued walking, my hands tucked into my pockets, I nodded shyly to Victor Grahame, a middle aged man as he washed his car for the third time that week. I flashed a quick smile at Joey as he practiced his swing, playing catch in the garden with his father. He stopped when he saw me and a quirky smile spread across his tanned face. Joey was on the school baseball team. We were both eighteen and had been in the same class since school.

I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw Mr Jenkins, he was an old, very traditional man. He kept to himself most of the time, didn’t say a word to anyone most days, I composed myself before I passed him sitting in his front yard. Next I came across Maria Polly, she was a kind hearted woman she was sun bathing in her front yard, her daughters stole a quick glance at me before running off giggling and whispering about something excitedly. I strolled in the direction they had run off. I was reunited with them when I turned the corner, they were whispering with a few of their friends. Silence beckoned when they saw me. “Oh my gosh, it’s sexy Sam.” I heard one of Maria Polly’s kids whisper a little too loudly. “You know you really shouldn’t know that word at your age Kelly.” Her jaw dropped as I said that. “He knows my name.” Kelly Polly whispered in disbelief with a look of amazement on her face. At once the girls turned to face each other and began a flurry of synchronized screams before dashing past me. I chuckled before I continued to walk.

I pushed open the door to the Sally’s diner and stepped inside, the buzzing of the air conditioning provided some well needed relief from the scorching heat. I gazed around the diner quickly and spotted Dylan at once. He smiled and waved at me as I looked in his direction, I nodded at him, to show I had seen him. I sat down opposite him and was about to start speaking when I was interrupted by an overweight, red haired woman who wore too much perfume and whose lips were redder than Mrs’s Murdock’s roses. Her legs quivered as she struggled to stand in her outrageously high heels. She wore an apron which comically red “big momma cooks big meals”. I smiled the way I always did when I read that. Sally was nicknamed big momma due to her personality as well as her size she looked after her customers like they were her children, but don’t be fooled, she had a big heart, but a big temper too.

I had heard rumours she threw one of her shoes at her ex husband, the heel almost costing him an eye. To this day I still don’t know if those rumours are true. “What can I get you fine young boys on this gorgeous day?” Dylan answered before I had the chance to think. “Two strawberry milkshakes please Sally.” Sally let out a deep chuckle before answering. “The usual for my two sweeties.” She turned and hobbled back behind the counter. “You know me too well Dyl.” Dylan and were best friends since we were born, honestly, our parents had always been friends and moved to the suburbs when they found out they were pregnant. I called him Dyl, I don’t know why, it just fitted. Dylan was sixteen too, he had wavy black hair, but not curly to the extreme, like afro territory, just nice, natural waves. He had piercing green eyes which could not be ignored, you found spellbound, trapped under their control. He had soft pink lips and a small, delicate nose. On that day Dylan was wearing a low cut, black and white striped top with his default chinos, he always wore chinos, don’t ask me why.

Now that you know everyone, I can start telling you my story, you see on the 10th of August, 2011, my life would change forever, and then it would end, because at 9:31 PM, that day one of my neighbours who I had seen that morning, would take my life. It sounds worse than it is really, I mean, off course, I was shocked at first, but I got over it, you will too. This is the story of the things I did on the final day of my life, the last people I would ever speak to, goodbyes I never got to say, and most importantly, the revealing of my murderer. I’ll let you work it out for yourself, I’ll take you back to that day, and you’ll read this story as if you were me, basically you’ll see things through my eyes. Good luck, and remember, things are not what they seem, so trust nobody, I learned that the hard way.

“Off course, I know you, we’re best friends remember.” He arched his perfectly trimmed, black eye brows at me creating a patronizing look on his face. “Yeah, Dyl, we are best friends, and that’s why I’m not sure this is a good idea.” Dylan’s eyebrows lowered again and he looked at me seriously now. “Aww Sam please don’t back out of this now, I’ve told you before, you’re just nervous alright, and that’s perfectly fine you just gotta trust me on this, you trust me right?” Dylan leaned across the table slightly, his green eyes staring deeply into my blue eyes. “Off course.” I did trust him, I would trust him with my life, but I was scared, he was braver than I was, stronger too. “Sam, I can tell you’re still worried, and I don’t want that.” Dylan paused for a moment and took a deep breath before continuing as I listened intently. “We don’t have to do this, but if we didn’t I think it would be a shame, I mean loads of guys our age do it, it’s just experimenting, it doesn’t make you a faggot.” I didn’t know what to say to him then, I hated that word. Luckily someone else did the talking for me. “Two strawberry milkshakes for my favourite boys.”

Big momma slammed down two large glasses on the table in front of us, each containing a pinkish slur inside. We had the same milkshake every time we came here. “Dylan leaned forward and took a sip from his milkshake, he kept his green eyes on me as his lips folded around the straw, so pink and wet, I found myself inadvertently staring as the milkshake travelled up the straw and into his mouth, I heard him take a gulp and watched his throat as he swallowed the creamy milkshake seductively, I wondered whether he did it on purpose or unconsciously, it was still hot. “So?” Dylan beckoned for an answer from me. I took a sip from my own milkshake trying to buy myself some more time before I had to answer my best friend. “Okay.” I tried to fake a smile. It’s not that I didn’t want to do things with Dylan, oh there were so many things I wanted to do.

But he was doing this to ‘experiment’, he wasn’t… well, the way he said it ‘faggot’. But I was scared that experimenting with him would be too much for me. I had always looked at Dylan as more than a friend. It was hard enough to keep my hands of him at the best of times, more often than not I wanted nothing more than to dive on top of him and work mdy lips on every part of his gorgeous body. “Cool.” He replied casually. Then he gave no warning before leaning across the table, I closed my eyes instinctively, somehow expecting to feel his luscious lips on mine, but I didn’t. I felt his thumb rub across my top lip. I reopened my eyes, shocked and confused. I put his thumb to his own lips now and sucked it. The corner of his mouth folded upwards creating a wicked grin. “Milkshake moustache, you ought to be more careful.” I smiled nervously and thanked him for getting rid of it, even if it was by unorthodox methods. I could never tell what Dylan was thinking, he could be manipulative when he wanted to, but he was my best friend, I had to trust him and I did.

We finished our milkshakes and paid before leaving. I was shaking by the time we arrived at his house. I entered behind him and closed the door, too late too back out now. “You can go on up if you want, I’m just gonna get us some drinks.” I tip toed upstairs and into Dylan’s room. It was surprisingly tidy, his normally messy bed was now tidied neatly, his clothes no longer lay all over the floor and a clean, fresh scent had replaced the boyish odour of sweat and cum. I walked to the window and looked around outside quickly. I noticed Mr Jenkins outside walking his old, weary Labrador, it was almost as if he knew I would be standing at that window because as I looked at him I realized his eyes were set firmly on me, studying me intensely I backed away from the window and fell back onto the bed. “Something wrong?” Dylan’s sudden presence startled me. “No.” I replied sharply, not wanting to be embarrassed, Dylan handed me a can of cola before planting himself on the bed next to me, he kicked off his shoes and scurried backwards onto the bed, putting his feed up, he placed on hand on his stomach and began slowly playing with the bottom of his shirt, pulling it back a little revealing his toned tummy before tugging the shirt back down. I think it was his way of teasing me.

I set down my cola on Dylan’s bedside table, I had enough butterflies in my stomach without adding a fizzy drink to the equation. “So, ehh how do we start off then?” Dylan swallowed another mouthful of cola and let out a long breath of refreshment before answering me casually. “Just leave it to me bro.” Dylan rolled over and placed his empty cola bottle on the floor. Then he got up, leaving me watching him curiously. He approached the tv and shuffled around for a few seconds before finding a dvd and putting it in the player. He turned to me and smiled, flashing a cheeky wink. He stood up and pulled of his top, I watched in amazement, this being the first time I had been given a chance to admire his body properly, up until now I had to steal glances while trying not to get caught. He put his hands behind his head, revealing small tufts of hair under his arms. He seemed perfectly comfortable, putting his thumbs under the waistband of his trousers. His voice broke the trance his body had put me under. “You just gonna watch or are you gonna put on your own show?” Dylan laughed. I sat up straight, and tugged off my own top, feeling much less comfortable and relaxed than Dylan. “That wasn’t so hard was it?” Dylan proclaimed having now rejoined me on the bed. Simultaneously we both leaned back, our backs against his headboard, both of us facing forward. I realized he had put on a porn movie. I found myself watching the thick, cut cock on the screen instead of the blonde girl bouncing up and down furiously moaning annoyingly.

Suddenly I felt Dylan begin to gently caress the inside of my leg, he kept talking, I have no idea how he could be so casual while he touched his best friend like this. He ran his hand up and down the inside of my leg, going a little closer to my crotch with each stroke. I placed my hand on his leg, returning the favour by copying his movements exactly. He continued rubbing my leg while he watched the movie. I on the other hand watched his face while I touched him, not interested in the porn he couldn’t take his eyes off. My eyes snapped back to my own body when I felt him begin to undo my button, I watched as his fingers fiddled around at my trousers, undoing my button instantly. I looked to his lap and undid his button less efficiently than he had done mine. He arched his back, signalling for me to pull of his chinos. I obeyed and pulled of his trousers, leaving him in his calvin klein boxer shorts. I lifted my bum of the bed, letting Dylan pull of my trousers.

I felt my dick begin to harden as Dylan rubbed my dick through my thin boxers. What excited me more was the slow growth I could feel through Dylan’s calvin klein boxer shorts. “You ready for the next step.” Dylan turned and asked me. I kept my hand on his crotch but turned to look at his beautiful face. “Yeah, I think I am.” I replied, now feeling slightly relaxed. Dylan took his hand of me and placed it on his own boxer shorts, clearly ready to pull them off, he hooked his thumbs under the waistband and instinctively I did the same with my own. “On the count of three.” Dylan directed me. “One……….two………….three.” In one swift motion our boxer shorts were gone. Immediately our cocks sprang up and pointed straight at the ceiling. Dylan now ignored the tv and stared at my cock instead. My eyes were glued to his manhood. Seven inches of pure heaven. A slight bush covered the base of his swollen, read cock. It was perfect. His purple head leaking pre cum already.

For the first time I took the lead I took my hand and wrapped it around Dylan’s cock, it felt warm, hard but delicate. He copied me and placed his hand on my meat. Slowly I began to slide my hand along the length of his firm rod. Watching his face as I pleasured him. Dylan gave me a handjob, but that was all it was, he wasn’t putting emotion into it like I was, he was doing the job half heartedly, the confidence and self assurance he had earlier had now gone. “Is something wrong?” I asked taking my hand of him. “Maybe, I don’t know.” I wondered what he meant. “Well, talk to me, what is it?” Dylan looked at me, he looked lost for words. “This isn’t what I expected.”

My heart sank as he said those words, I had disappointed him. I had let him down. “I’m sorry, I’ll try to do it better, just show me how.” I pleaded with him, trying to recover what was left of this highly anticipated experience. “No it’s not you, I thought we would just jack each other off, and that would be it, no strings attached, I thought that would be enough to satisfy me, to stop the thoughts, stop the curiosity.” His voice trailed off as if he was hiding something. “But it makes sense now, I didn’t just want a handjob, not even a blowjob, I don’t want to fuck you, god no way how could I have been so stupid?” He asked him self, I wanted to cry, how could he just put me down like this?