Secrets 8

Chapter 8: memories

10/5/04

--If everything I believe turns out to be false, then what’s the point of believing in anything?

I was naked, and cold, sitting at Patrick’s desk, while Patrick and Kevin stood in the doorway staring at me, a gun in Patrick’s hand. Patrick was holding the gun Danny had used to kill himself. He was still naked, and holding the gun Danny had used to kill himself. 

“What were you doin’ on my computer?” Patrick asked, the first one to step inside of the bedroom, his dick, not completely soft, swaying from side to side as he walked toward me. The only thing I could hear was the hard pounding of my heart as Patrick came near me. My eyes were both focused on his dick and the black gun in his hand. 

“…I was just looking around…” I whispered. 

“Did you see anything you find interesting?” Kevin asked, still posted in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest. He and Patrick looked nothing alike, but they were both beautiful. 

I didn’t say anything.

Patrick reached over, his strong body odor lingering in my nose, and turned off the computer monitor. He looked at me and smiled. “What do you look so scared for, Sean?”

I looked at the gun. Patrick laughed. He raised the gun, not at me, but slightly above my head. His dick twitched. “It’s not loaded,” he said. Him saying that didn’t make me feel completely safe. I could still see Kevin standing in the doorway, watching me, and I didn’t know what he was thinking about me. I wondered how long he had been here, if he had been here the entire when Patrick and I were having sex. Had he come over right after Patrick had called him, or had he waited until the morning to come over? He was the only one of the three of us wearing clothes. 

“What is he doing here, Patrick?” I asked.

Patrick grinned again and ambled over to his bed, sitting down at the edge. Kevin took a step inside of the bedroom and closed the door behind him. “No need for you to be afraid,” Kevin said. I covered my dick so that Kevin couldn’t see it. I didn’t know if it really made a difference or not, but it made me feel slightly better. My clothes were lying in a heap on floor next to Patrick’s bed. Patrick saw me looking at my shirt and jeans.

“You won’t be needing them,” Patrick told me, smiling. That same smile, which before used to be so charming and great, now seemed so devilish and intimidating. 

“Why not?” I asked.

Patrick looked over at Kevin, who was looking at me, and he started to smile too. He started to unbutton his shirt. “Come here,” Patrick said to me. 

I didn’t move from where I was sitting. “Patrick what the fuck are you doing?” I demanded. “Why are you doing all of this?”

Patrick twirled the gun in his hand; round and round like a toy. “Doing all of what, Sean?”

Kevin pulled off his shirt. His chest was insanely muscular and his abs incredibly built. He had a large tattoo of a multi-colored dragon going diagonally across his chest. As he started to unbuckle his jeans, I felt myself start to get hard, but I fought against it. “I’m not doing this,” I told Patrick. Patrick stopped spinning the gun and pointed at the ground. 

“You’re not going to do what?” Patrick asked. 

“I’m not going to fuck him.”

Both Kevin and Patrick laughed. “Of course you’re not gonna fuck me,” Kevin said, stepping out of his jeans, now standing only in a pair of jet black Calvin Klein briefs, that really did a good job of emphasizing the large bulge of his balls and dick. His legs were solidly built and muscular. It must’ve taken him years to sculpt a body like that. But despite how beautiful he was, despite how beautiful Patrick was, I had already made up my mind that I was not going to yield myself to either one of them. “I’m gonna fuck you,” Kevin finished. 

And saying that, he pulled down his underwear in one easy motion and kicked them with one leg toward Patrick, who caught them with his free hand. I don’t think I had ever seen a dick so thick and long as Kevin’s before. It had to be well over ten inches. I didn’t want to look at his fierce, naked body, but it was too hard to look away. It was no use of trying to cover my dick, because it had already grown to it fullest. 

“You asked me before if I had ever fucked around with another guy,” Patrick said. He nodded over to Kevin. “Well, there he is.”

Kevin walked over, his dick rock hard, to where Patrick was sitting. They were sitting right next to each other, two incredibly good-looking, masculine, intimidating guys, both naked, both hard, one holding a gun, both looking at me. And I was sitting directly across from them, still wrapped up in fear, confusion, but also quickly growing desire. 

“Why do you have that gun?” I asked Patrick again.

“Yeah, Patrick,” Kevin said mocking my panicked voice, ‘why do you have that gun?” His hand caressed Patrick’s inner thigh. When I saw that, I felt a strong stab of jealousy. Kevin was rubbing Patrick’s leg possessively, making it clear to me that Patrick belonged to him, and not to me. And Patrick saw the discomfort on my face when I watched Kevin touch him in his private places, and I saw the amusement on his handsome face. 

“Sean, how long have you known me?” Patrick asked.

“Since we were eight,” I said. I couldn’t stop my heartbeat from pounding so quickly and hard.

Patrick shook his head. “No. Try again.”

“Second grade,” I said. “We were eight…we—”

“Wrong,” Patrick said. “We didn’t meet each other until we were in the seventh grade. We were both thirteen.”

When he said that, my heart skipped, because it didn’t make sense. “Patrick, what are you talking about? I’ve known you since I was ten-years-old…”

Patrick laughed and looked over at Kevin. “See, what did I tell you? Just a second ago he said we met in the second grade, when we were eight. Now he says we were ten.”

I felt a dull pain in the back of my head. My dick started to soften a little. Kevin’s dick was still rock hard. Patrick’s dick wasn’t really hard, but it wasn’t really soft either. I squeezed my eyes shut, and then reopened them. The pain in my head started to spread. 

“We went to the same junior high school,” Patrick said. “We never went to the same elementary school.” 

I didn’t understand why he was saying that, because it wasn’t true. We did go to the same school. Since the second grade, we had gone to school together, all the way up to high school. Patrick placed the gun between his legs, right in front of his dick. Looking at me, but really talking to Kevin, Patrick said, “Sean forgets things a lot. He always has. He can never remember the important things. And when he can’t remember something, he makes it up, and he believes it’s real.”

It felt like my skin was freezing when he was saying that. “Patrick, you’re not fuckin’ making sense. Stop saying that.”

Patrick picked up the gun, placing it on his muscular right thigh. “Let me tell you a story,” he said to both of us. He was still staring directly at me. “I don’t think Sean remembers any of this. But I do…”