Shadow : Part 2

Their eyes met briefly in the mirror’s reflection and the guy smiled at Blake. Blake nodded his head as a greeting and refocused on his run.

For the twenty minutes as he ran on the treadmill, Blake felt the guy’s eyes on him. Blake refused to look directly at the boy. He tried to concentrate on the music blaring from his earphones, but every once in a while though, Blake intercepted a mental image that was not his own; the guy was picturing Blake naked and imagined how big Blake’s dick was when fully hard.
Since his sophomore year in high school, as his body developed, Blake became acutely aware that he possessed many of the physical traits that both girls and boys found desirable. By junior year, he was already an even six feet and one hundred and eight pounds of muscle at that time and he could pretty much have anyone in school that he wanted. His looks only continued to improve as he grew older.

Unlike other guys his age who may have used their good looks to manipulate people or to feel superior, Blake never took himself or his looks too seriously. He studied his reflection in the mirror, at his tight smooth skin, his piercing mesmerizing eyes, and the way the muscles in his arms and legs undulated gracefully as he ran.
Honestly, Blake did wish Nathan viewed him the way other guys seemed to view him. At one point, years ago when they first met, Nathan seemed to have that opinion of him. Maybe if he had not moved to Southern California after high school, Nathan would have never fallen into a relationship with Russell. Maybe instead of wishing he were with Nathan, Blake would be with Nathan.

One of the most maddening things in the world to Blake was to be attracted to someone who was not attracted to him—especially when so many other men gave him an abundance of attention.
Blake completed got off the treadmill after completing two miles. He went on to use the free weights and other machines. Every once in a while, the cute boy, who seemed like he could be no older than twenty-one years old, drifted his way, using the machines or the weights next to him. He made sure to give Blake enough space, but increasingly made it clear that he wanted to be near Blake.
Occasionally, Blake glanced over at him and the boy would smile bashfully. It surprised Blake when he found himself thinking about kissing the guy and bending him over one of the workout benches. Or maybe he was just seeing another one of the boy’s fantasies. At this point, he could not tell the difference between his imagination and the boy’s.

Any attempts Blake made to rid his mind of thoughts about Nathan, as well as the cute boy working out next to him, whose fantasies were becoming more and more vivid and explicit and penetrated Blake’s mind as if they were his own thoughts, failed. Blake continued his workout for another twenty minutes before deciding to go relax in the steam room. He felt the guy’s eyes on his back as he headed to the locker room. Blake had no doubt that the boy would follow him.
No need for subtlety these days, I guess, Blake thought.
The locker room was empty when Blake entered. He did not hear the sound of water hitting the tiled floor from the shower stalls or the usual bits of conversation from the other members. The solitude came as a soothing relief. Blake rapidly changed out of his clothes wrapped a towel around his waist.

Blake entered the vacant steam room, which was filling with fresh, thick steam. He started to sweat as soon as he sat on the bench. He closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on utterly nothing. Of course, as he expected, it did not work. Blake could not stop revisiting scenes from earlier that day with Nathan.
What am I gonna say to him when I get home? Blake asked himself.
He pondered whether they would talk about what happened and try to move forward—whatever forward meant—or just retreat to their own separate rooms and pretend like nothing happened.
Blake thought about the many nights he and Nathan shared a same bed; the many times Blake consoled him after Russell nearly emotionally destroyed him.

And now they’re talking again, Blake thought acidly. So where the hell does that leave me?

The purifying steam did really nothing to assuage the hostile feelings within him. It made it worse.
Blake was about to rise and head out, when the door opened and someone stepped inside. The thick steam cloaked most of the person’s features, but Blake knew it was the cute guy from the weight room. Blake had been so temporarily obsessed with his thoughts over Nathan that he forgot about him.

Dressed only in a short white towel, the guy stopped briefly when he saw Blake.

“Hey,” he said. His voice sounded a lot deeper than Blake anticipated.

“Sup,” Blake responded, rather blandly.

The guy sat on a bench directly across from Blake.
They sat together in silence. Finally, the steam interval stopped and slowly the air became cooler and clearer. It gave Blake the opportunity to admire the guy’s lithe, well-toned body more fully. He had a nice set of abs and a firm chest, which with a little more training could be twice as impressive. The guy watched Blake watch him and Blake picked up on his excitement.

He’s looking at me, the guy thought. Maybe he might be into me. Should I say something?

A part of Blake wanted to say something to the guy and wanted to remain silent. Clearly sex was main objective on the guy’s mind. Blake never hooked up with someone from the gym before, and at first he did not believe this needed to be an exception. However, it had been a long time since he had sex—excluding the brief episode with Nathan. Masturbation could only pacify Blake for so long before he needed the real thing.

But I want it to be with Nate, Blake thought.

Blake envisioned himself kissing Nathan, touching and licking his smooth, lean body, kissing his penny-sized nipples, eating his ass, fucking him in all positions: on his back, on his stomach, riding Blake’s cock. He wanted to hear Nathan moan again. Blake wanted him to lose control and surrender himself entirely. He wanted to come inside of Nathan and hold him against his chest afterward and have a conversation about everything and nothing, only using the power of their minds. Blake wanted Nathan to feel the same way that Blake felt about him. Most of all, he wanted to be the only man Nathan desired.

His dick grew hard and his large erection visibly tented his towel. Blake tried to cover it with his hands, but the guy had already seen it. He thought he had been the trigger that ignited this lust inside of Blake. The guy spread his legs apart and Blake could see his dick through the opening in the towel.

The guy reached down with one hand and started stroking himself, his eyes glued to Blake’s dick. Along with hooking up with strangers, public sex was another thing Blake found inappropriate. But right now, he did not care. His horniness stifled the part of his mind that told him to be smart.

Blake unclasped his towel from around his waist. His dick sprang out, ready for action. Blake saw the look of awe on the guy’s face, and he felt simultaneous emotions of arousal and guilt. He began to stroke his own dick as well, his eyes navigating around the guy’s body, from his solid calves, to his full, crimson lips. The guy hopped off the bench, naked, cautiously approaching Blake as if he did not know whether it was safe to do so or not.

The steam started again flowing out the vent again, filling the room with its clean, smoky heat. Sweat coursed down Blake’s face and torso. His heart rate escalated. He looked through the semi-transparent glass door to make sure nobody outside could see inside. The dense haze made it almost impossible for anyone to see.
Blake suddenly felt a hand on his chest, sliding across his large pectoral muscle, trying to find his nipple. He exhaled and went with the flow. The guy’s hand continued downward, over the hard ridges of his abs, past his navel, moving more swiftly, with more determination, toward his erection. When the guy grabbed it, Blake moaned. For too many months, he had been the only one to touch his dick. He almost forgot what it felt like to be touched by someone.

“Nice, man,” The guy said, his voice barely audible over the hissing steam.

Before Blake could say anything, not that there was really anything he needed to say, the guy dropped to his knees, right between Blake’s muscular thighs. He continued clutching Blake’s cock, before wrapping his moist, full lips over the head. Blake squeezed his eyes shut and gently bit his bottom lip, trying to suppress the heavy moan that almost escaped his mouth.

The guy sucked Blake’s cock with an expertise that indicated to Blake that he must have done this regularly, perhaps even in that very room with other men. Blake kept his eyes closed, breathing in the heavy, hot steam, all the moisture almost drained from his body, wishing that it was Nathan on his knees in front of him, instead of this boy, whom he probably would not see again…or pretend not to see again.

Blake ran his fingers over the guy’s spiky hair and pushed the back of his head forward, so that he could take in as much of Blake’s dick as possible. Amazingly, he got the majority of it into his mouth without much strain or even gagging.
Minutes later, Blake released a loud cry as he came in the guy’s moist mouth, experiencing a state of bliss that seemed almost heavenly. The guy did not take his mouth off of Blake’s dick until he drained every drop and Blake was completely flaccid. Afterwards, he rose and sat next to Blake, their knees touching each other. He rubbed Blake’s chest with one hand and jerked himself off with the other hand. When he reached orgasm, he tilted his head backward and his hips lifted off the bench. He released a sizable scream that most likely could be heard way back in the locker area.

“That was hot,” the guy said, after catching his breath.

“Yeah,” Blake replied. He needed some cool air.

“I’m Kyle by the way.”

“…Rob.”

Technically he was telling the truth.

“Nice to meet you.” Kyle put his hand on Blake’s knee, working his fingers slowly up Blake’s inner thigh, moving toward his balls.

“You too.” Blake stood, grabbed his towel, and wrapped it loosely around his waist. “But hey, I gotta go take a shower and head out. Work soon.”

“Cool,” Kyle said. “I need a shower too.”

Kyle stood and slung his towel over his shoulder. His dick wagged sagged to side, not entirely soft yet.

Together they stepped out of the steam room and headed for the shower stalls. Blake’s blissful moment gradually shifted to an increasing amount of shame.

I liked it, Blake thought, but that shouldn’t have done that. I could’ve stopped it from happening. But I didn’t want to.
The shower room had no partitions for privacy. There were five showerheads on one side of the room and five on the other. Blake turned on a shower, starting off with colder water first, on one side of the room while Kyle switched on the shower directly across from him. Kyle brazenly gawked at Blake’s body with a devious smile.

Although it made him slightly uncomfortable, Blake really did not mind the attention. Plus, it gave him the chance to observe Kyle’s well-formed body under full light, without steam blocking his view.
Kyle turned around, bowing his head under the spray of water, allowing Blake to fixate on the sharp dip of Kyle’s lower back and the way it curved into a high and tight round bubble butt. Blake wanted to cross the room and squeeze it, taste it, spread the twin perfect globes apart and ram his dick inside of it. Fantasizing about it made Blake hard again. He tried to stop it, but he had no control over it.

As if sensing Blake’s lust, Kyle turned around, his eyes immediately locked on Blake’s cock.

I need to hurry up and go, Blake thought. Before I do something stupid…again.

Blake turned around, letting the cool water to spray directly into his face, trying to mentally will his erection to go down. He sensed Kyle’s eyes on him and the intense desire radiating from him.
Hurry up and get the fuck outta here, Blake thought to himself.

His erection eventually subsided. Blake hastily lathered his body with soap, rinsed himself off with lukewarm water and shut off the shower.

“See you `round,” Blake said to Kyle as he proceeded out of the shower area. He could feel Kyle’s disappointment as he walked away, but Blake did not have time to feel bad for him

There were two guys, in their mid forties, changing into workout clothes when Blake got to his locker. He quickly dried himself off, pulled out a pair of folded up jeans and a plain white tank top from his gym bag and put them on.

He’s coming, Blake thought.

Kyle appeared suddenly from around a bank of lockers. He was still dressed only in his towel, his torso still wet and his damp hair not so spiky anymore. He smiled when he saw Blake.

“Hey…I know you said you gotta leave…just wanted to know if I can give you my number...” Kyle had spoken loud enough for the other two guys to have heard him. If they did hear him, they did not make any comment.

Blake wanted to tell Kyle that it would not be a good idea to give him his number, because he would never use it. Yet he did not have the courage to do so, especially when he stared at Kyle’s seductive smile and those hypnotic eyes. Reluctantly, Blake pulled out his cell phone. “Sure. What is it?”

Kyle gave it to him and afterward said, “Call me sometime. Maybe we can chill.” Inwardly, Blake heard Kyle think: He probably won’t call me though. But just in case…

“Yeah, sounds good,” Blake politely said as he locked the number in his phone’s memory. “Kyle, right?”

“Right.” Kyle’s smile grew even brighter with the sound of his name coming out of Blake’s mouth. “Hope to see you again soon, Rob.”
Kyle strode off, leaving Blake feeling a bit emotionally befuddled.

“Yeah, you too,” Blake said softly.

It was rapidly approaching six o’ clock in the evening, when Blake left the gym. Darkness had nearly set in and the sky was filled with purplish-gray clouds that obscured the white glow moon. As he ambled to his car, Blake thought of calling Nathan. His shift at the bar did not start for another hour. That might have given Blake enough time to swing by the bank, pick Nathan up, and take him home before he headed to work. Perhaps it would give them the chance to speak and reconcile things—or maybe it would just make things worse.

Blake hopped into his car, grateful to be out of the chilly air and pulled out his cell phone. He went through his contacts, searching for Nathan’s number. He found Kyle’s number and considered deleting it, since he had no plans of ever calling him. Yet for the time being, he chose not to.

He dialed Nathan’s number, waiting as the phone rang four times before going to voicemail. Blake’s stomach churned with discontent. He thought about just hanging up, but once Nathan’s voicemail message ended, followed by the BEEP, Blake felt forced to speak.

“Nate, it’s Blake. Just calling to see if you wanted me to pick you up. Let me know. I gotta be at work by seven. All right, talk to you later.”

The second he hung up, Blake regretted ever calling. Most likely Nathan had deliberately ignored Blake’s call. He probably predicted Blake would call and just chose not to answer. Blake started the car and swerved out of the parking lot onto the street, speeding toward the Webster tube that connected the island of Alameda and the city of Oakland.

Maybe he’s still at work and just couldn’t answer his phone. Or maybe he already knows about what happened with Kyle and doesn’t want to talk to me. Or maybe he’s off fucking Russell.
Blake could deal with all those scenarios except for the last. He did not want to picture Nathan having sex with Russell. He did not want to believe that Nathan would do that to him.

Even though I just did it to him with Kyle.

His guilt about Kyle spiked as Blake drove to work. He kept thinking
about one thing: if Nathan and Russell were not already having sex now, it would not be too much longer before they actually were.

**************

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