Shadow : Part 3

Chapter Seven : The memories

It was the second time that week Ashley had not balanced her cash till. Tuesday she had been short fifty dollars and now today, ninety dollars. Ashley, along with Nathan had spent the last half an hour, trying to fix the discrepancy. Together they counted and recounted her cash drawers, and checked through all of her transactions for the missing difference. All the other tellers and bankers had already gone home for the night.

Nathan’s work shift should have been over by five-thirty that evening. Russell was supposed to pick him up at six. When his phone rang, he thought it would be Russell. Yet when he reached in his pocket and grabbed his phone, his intuition told him differently.
It was Blake, not Russell calling.

Instead of answering, Nathan silenced his phone, letting it go to voicemail. Between having to deal with Ashley’s cash difference and his nervousness surrounding his imminent meeting with Russell, he did not want to deal with Blake at the moment.
Nathan still had not decided how he wanted to address his conflict with Blake. They would have to have some kind of discussion once both of them came home. But whatever the outcome, the issue would not be easily resolved in one night.
“You think Joe’s gonna fire me if I can’t I find it?” Ashley asked. There was a touch of panic to her usual loud, peppy voice. “I’m already on my second warning…”

“Well, this is the second time you been off this week, Ashley.” Nathan responded as he leafed through her deposit slips. “And the third time this month. So I don’t really don’t know what to tell you. Hopefully we find it.”
“I cannot afford to lose this job,” Ashley said, almost frantically. “I got a lotta shit I want to do with my life that involves not getting fired.”

“You need to pay more attention to what you’re doing,” Nathan suggested. He came across a deposit slip, a cash deposit that should have been for a hundred dollars evenly. Instinctively, Nathan knew this was where Ashley made her mistake. He signed on to the computer system’s transaction log and searched for that particular deposit. The screen displayed the information Nathan knew he would find: instead of imputing the dollar amount as $100.00, Ashley had done it as only $10.00, which explained her ninety dollar overage.
“Found it,” Nathan said.

“Oh, shit! Thank God!” Ashley exclaimed, jumping up and down. “I was really about to start crying in this bitch.”

Nathan corrected the error and balanced Ashley’s cash bus. By the time they were finished with all the other closing duties, it was almost six-thirty and Nathan still had not heard anything from Russell.
Maybe he doesn’t need my help anymore, Nathan thought as he and Ashley headed out of the bank. Maybe Andrew came home.

Nathan scanned the parking lot as he and Ashley walked out of the door. He did not see Russell’s or Blake’s car among the remaining parked vehicles.
“I think I might need to get a margarita or three after this,” Ashley declared. “Let’s hit up a bar on Park Street.”

A drink would have helped to soothe Nathan’s nerves, but he knew it would not be a good idea. “I would, except I’m waiting for a friend to give me a ride. He should be here soon.”
“Which one?” Ashley asked. “Blake? Or Mr. Clean?”

Nathan loosened his tie. “…The second one. And side note, I love the way you objectify everyone in my life.”
Ashley shrugged, hitching her designer purse higher on her shoulder. “I just call it the way I see it…and speaking of side notes, where do you meet all these hot dudes at anyway?”
“Trust me…I don’t know that many dudes, hot or not hot. I’ve known Blake since high school and I met Russell a few years ago when I was going to SF State.”
“So you guys were in a relationship?”
“Almost two years.”
“Damn, that’s a long-ass time,” Ashley remarked. “What happened? Why did you break up?”
“He found someone else and dumped me.” Nathan replied bleakly.
“That’s shady. So what was he doing here today?”

Nathan exhaled and he saw his breath materialize in the air.
“He needs my help with something.”

Ashley scoffed. “I wouldn’t help him with shit if I was you. I don’t care how fine he is.”
From a distance, Nathan saw the sleek, fire-colored shape of Russell’s car approaching. His heart stammered.
It’s always easy to say that when you’re not the one in the situation, he thought to himself.
“He’s here,” Nathan announced.
“Ok,” Ashley said, stepping off the curb and walking toward her car. “See you tomorrow. And be careful.”

That was the best piece of advice Ashley had ever given him. Nathan needed to remember that Russell only wanted to see him for a specific objective, not because he really wanted to see Nathan. It was imperative that Nathan be polite, without being overly enthusiastic, and not to mistake Russell’s amiability toward him as genuine affection. He really did need to be careful.

Russell pulled up alongside the curb in front of Nathan. Ashley peeled out of the lot and onto the main road, blasting her radio so loud that the whole town should have been able to hear.
Nathan took a deep breath before opening the passenger door and climbed inside. The dim light inside the car made it a bit challenging to see Russell’s face.
“Hey,” Russell said.
“Hey,” Nathan replied.

Unlike Ashley, Russell exited the parking lot in a civil manner. The radio was turned off. Nathan wished Russell would turn it on, so that it would hinder his ability, at least to some degree, to hear Russell’s thoughts.
“How was your day?” Russell asked. His voice sounded robotic and punctuated with melancholy.
“Okay...” It would have been stupid for Nathan to ask the same question in return, so he stayed silent.
“You hungry? Did you want something to eat before we go back to my place?”
“No, it’s cool,” Nathan answered. Honestly, he did have some hunger. It had been well over five hours since he had eaten lunch. “I’ll eat something later when I get home.”
“Alright,” Russell muttered.

They spent a fair portion of the ride without speaking. Nathan tried searching for things to talk about that did not involve Andrew, but everything he wanted to say just sounded forced and improper in his mind. He sensed Russell felt the same way.
I shouldn’t be asking him to do this…Nathan heard Russell think suddenly...especially after what happened between us. And since Drew was the reason we—
“Did you have work today?” Nathan asked, because he could no longer tolerate hearing Russell’s thoughts.
“No, I took the day off. Mostly, I’ve just been at the apartment all day…” Russell stopped talking, but Nathan already knew what he was going to say. Waiting for Drew to come home.

There would be no way of avoiding the topic of Andrew’s disappearance, chiefly, because it was the only reason why they had convened. Andrew Dominguez, if not the sole cause, was definitely one of the primary causes for Nathan and Russell’s break up. Now, Andrew had become the reason they were brought back together.
“Are you sure he probably didn’t go to a friend’s house?” Nathan asked.
“I called some of his friends earlier,” Russell explained. “Called his job, too. Nobody’s heard from him.”

Russell sped through the Webster tube at over sixty miles per hour. They were in Oakland’s Chinatown district in a little less than a minute.
“Do you know anything about any ex-boyfriends Andrew may have had?” Nathan wondered. He had been vacillating on whether or not he should ask that question. But if he were going to be any help with this problem, he would need as much information as possible.
“He doesn’t talk too much about that,” Russell grimly stated.
“Okay, but do you know something about any of the guys dated before you?”

Russell made a sharp left at an intersection, a second before the traffic light flashed red. Nathan felt Russell’s rising vexation. It made the car as icy as a freezer.
“Like I said, Drew doesn’t like to talk about it.” Russell made another abrupt right turn on to Broadway Street and proceeded down the long, traffic heavy road at almost forty miles per hour.
Nathan checked to make sure his seatbelt was buckled, but he did not make any comment to Russell about slowing down.

“..But he did say something about the last dude he used to chill with.”
“Something like what?”
“A little bit before we met, he was with this one guy for like six months or something,” Russell said. “Only thing Drew would tell me about him was that he was possessive. He never let Drew do what he wanted to do, never let him see his friends or anything else like that. I think some other bad shit went down too, like violent shit, but Drew would never tell me about it.”

Russell made a series of turns, before they ended up on San Pablo Avenue. They were almost close to Russell’s place. Nathan had not been in this area of Oakland in a long time, but he instantly recognized his surroundings.
“Drew told me the guy just upped and disappeared one day,” Russell eventually replied. “Never came back.”
Nathan reflected on those last three words for a while. “What was his name?”
“Luke.”

Nathan felt a flurry of nervousness churn throughout his body as Russell’s apartment complex came into view. Seeing it prompted memories and emotions that Nathan still was not fully ready to deal with.
Russell pressed a button on his dashboard that triggered the gate to slide open. As Russell pulled into the complex, Nathan’s cell phone chimed. He took it out of his pocket and read it: a text from Blake.

Just checkin 2 see if u got home ok...I left u a voicemail...did u get it?

Nathan rapidly typed out a reply: Yeah, I did. See u when u get home.

Ok :)

Nathan felt bad for lying to Blake, but he figured it would be best not to tell him where he was or why he had come.
“Blake?” Russell asked after parking in his stall.
“Yeah.”
“You two together now?”

Nathan detected traces of envy in Russell's voice. “…We’re friends.” He unlocked the passenger door. “Maybe we should get going.”
“Right.”
They both climbed out of the car. Nathan wished he had brought a jacket. Icy breezes pricked his skin and made him shiver. He stuffed his hands into his pockets and followed closely behind Russell.
“It’s been a minute since you’ve been here,” Russell commented once they got to his door.
“Yeah, I know."

Russell inserted his key into the doorknob and turned the lock. Before opening the door, he turned to Nathan and asked:
“You sure you’re cool about this?”
Regardless, it’s too late now, Nathan thought. “Yeah, I’m cool.”
“Okay.”

They entered the dark apartment. Russell turned on a switch and pale orange light filled the living room. Nathan recognized a lot of the same furniture items: the same leather arm chair and couch, the same carpet, and the same long, rectangular glass table. There were some changes: a huge entertainment system, including a 42” wide-screen television set that had been purchased only months before.
“Sure you don’t want something to eat?” Russell asked. “Or drink?”

Nathan heard him, but did not respond. His attention was drawn to something else. Resting above the television, Nathan saw a photograph frame that had been turned on its face.
Curious, Nathan headed over to it and placed it right side up. He felt a jab in his stomach as he saw the picture. It showed Andrew and Russell, dressed similarly in form-fitting black t-shirts, smiling charmingly at the camera. Nathan found himself captivated by the picture; he never knew Russell could give such a warm, cheerful smile. He never looked so happy and so in love. Nathan thought back to the only remaining photograph of him and Russell, one they had taken in Fisherman’s Wharf in San Francisco, only a few months prior to the dissolution of their relationship. Nathan had been smiling exuberantly in the picture, while Russell had given the faint indication of a smile, with little joy in his eyes.

Nathan focused on Andrew. He could not help the sense of resentment swelling in him. He looked much better than Nathan hoped, with smooth cream-colored skin, a strong jaw line, a beautiful set of full lips with perfect teeth, a slim nose and a pair of gorgeous dark brown eyes. Andrew looked like the kind of guy someone fell in love with instantaneously, the kind of guy that would never be rejected in his life.

When Nathan stared at Andrew Dominguez he felt incredibly plain in comparison. Seeing the photograph gave understanding to Nathan as to why Russell chose Andrew over him. He allowed himself to hate Andrew, if only for a minute.
“We took that a couple of months ago,” Russell said. He stood right over Nathan’s shoulder. Nathan had been so transfixed with the photo that he never noticed him.
“He’s really cute,” Nathan responded.
“Yeah…”

Nathan held the photograph between his fingers, his eyes closed gently.
“What are you doing?” Russell asked nervously.

With his eyes still closed, Nathan replied, “Trying to see if I can pick up some clues. Be quiet.”

Nathan knew Russell wanted to say more, but he did as he was told. Running his fingers over the smooth surface of the glass frame, Nathan attempted to see into the past a few days prior—
An image roughly cut into Nathan’s mind…more than that, Nathan felt a devastatingly cold sensation that began at his fingertips and coiled, like snakes, up his arm. He dropped the photograph and the frame shattered on the concrete floor in front of his feet.
“Nate, what happened?” Russell asked, alarmed. “Did you see something?”
“…Shadow.”

Nathan opened his eyes and looked down at the floor, seeing the mess he made. He bent down to pick up the broken frame.
“I’m sorry.”

Russell bent down alongside him, picking up some of the larger glass shards. “Don’t worry about it. I can always get another—shit!”
Nathan glanced over to see that Russell cut his finger on one of the glass fragments. It must have been a deep cut, because the blood flowed relentlessly, with some drops hitting the floor. Usually the sight of blood did not perturb Nathan, but seeing Russell bleed made Nathan’s stomach twist like a contortionist.

He sensed atrocious anger and helplessness emanating from Russell’s mind. Russell seemed on the verge of tears, not because of the physical pain, but the psychological pain of losing someone and not being able to get him back. Nathan understood that kind of pain too well.
“Stay right here,” Nathan told Russell. “I’ll go get a towel and some alcohol.”

Nathan quickly got to his feet and headed toward the bathroom. He still remembered the layout to Russell’s apartment. The bathroom was located adjacently to the bedroom. Nathan went inside the bathroom, turning on the light. He rushed to the medicine cabinet above the sink, pulling it open to find a bottle of rubbing alcohol and a box of bandages. He took those items, as well as a towel from a rack, dampening it a little with water from the faucet, and raced back to aid Russell. Nathan found him standing over the kitchen sink, his finger underneath a spray of water and a vacant expression on his face.
“Russ, are you okay?” Nathan asked as he carefully approached him.
“Tell me what ‘Shadow’ means.” Russell’s voice sounded blunt and emotionless. Nathan watched Russell’s blood drop into the sink. He forced himself to look away.
“Um…” Nathan struggled to find the right words to explain the rapid image that manifested in his mind when he touched the picture frame. “It’s hard to explain."
“Did someone take Drew? Or was it something?”

Nathan took Russell’s hand and pressed the towel against his bleeding finger. Their eyes met and Nathan’s whole body tingled. “I don’t know yet.”
Russell stared at Nathan for a long time. There was no sound between them except for the water hitting the chrome basin. “Is he dead, Nate? Be honest.”
The question lingered in Russell’s mind since he came to Nathan’s job earlier that afternoon. Nathan knew Russell wanted to block out any negative possibilities that something fatal may have happened to Andrew, but now he could no longer hide his fears.
“I’m not sure yet,” Nathan said quietly.
“How would you know?”
“I need to keep checking around the apartment…I might be able to pick up on something. But let me help you with this first.” Nathan shut off the water valve and removed the towel from Russell’s finger. The cloth was stained a coppery red and the cut had stopped bleeding.

Nathan unscrewed the bottle of alcohol and slowly tilted it over Russell’s open hand. “This might hurt a little,” he warned.
Russell did not even wince or show any sign of pain as the astringent liquid hit his skin. His mind was elsewhere, wondering where of all places Andrew could be. Russell dreaded that if they did find him if Andrew would be alive or a lifeless body. Nathan tried to concentrate as he applied the bandage to Russell’s cut. Thoughts poured out of Russell’s mind so quickly that Nathan could barely separate them from his own.
When Nathan finished cleaning the wound, Russell said, “Let’s go in my room.”

“Huh?” Nathan asked, his chest tightening.
“You said you needed to keep checking around the apartment…well, I think he was in the bedroom when all this shit went down. If you’re gonna ‘find’ anything, it’s probably gonna be from in there.”

Right, but going into the bedroom terrified Nathan more than anything else, for several reasons. Just being in the living room and kitchen already generated flashbacks of when he and Russell were together, watching television on the couch, cuddled up, and the same stove where Nathan used to cook their meals. Walking into that bedroom, as necessary as Nathan knew it was would be the climax of an already awkward experience.
“Ok,” Nathan said.

Russell led the way to the bedroom. Nathan followed a few steps behind him, finding it a little harder to breathe with each step he took. The bedroom door was already slightly ajar. Russell pushed it fully open and turned on a light switch. He walked in and Nathan uncomfortably stepped in behind him.
“This is how it was when I got back home the other night,” Russell explained. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall for support. His eyes remained transfixed on the empty, un-made bed.

Several images flashed through Nathan’s head at once when he entered Russell and Andrew’s room: this used to be Russell and his room. He looked at the bed, with the blankets laying haphazardly on the mattress and one of the pillows on the floor. Memories of him and Russell together in that same bed flooded his mental vision. Nathan almost had to back out of the room to remain focused. He fought it and managed to subdue the images threatening to conquer his mind.
Nathan walked around the small room, observing things, trying to pick up on anything that may give him any clues as to what may have happened to Andrew.

The bedroom’s temperature stood out as something extremely peculiar to Nathan. It felt drastically colder than any other room in the apartment. Nathan checked to see if the only window in the room was open. No, it remained shut.
Nathan felt the remnants of a strange energy that had invaded this bedroom, not too long ago.
“Have you slept in here since he’s been gone?” Nathan asked.

Russell seemed to be in a daze. He stared blankly at the bed before he finally answered Nathan’s question. “I couldn’t…it felt too weird sleeping in the bed without him.”
Again, Nathan experienced a twinge of jealousy.
“I slept on the couch,” Russell continued. “Why? What’s up?”

Nathan did not respond immediately. Instead he moved to the bed, carefully laying his hand on the left side of the mattress where he assumed Andrew slept the night he vanished. He closed his eyes and opened his mind.
Almost at once, a plethora of images sparked in Nathan’s brain. He saw Andrew wake up from a troublesome dream shortly after one in the morning; he felt Andrew’s increasing dread as he knew someone was in the apartment, a malevolent being that Andrew believed had come specifically for him. Nathan saw the figure in his head: a Shadow that seemed to have both the physical qualities of a living person, but the transparent incorporeal features of an apparition.
“Come on, Nate…tell me what’s up…”

Russell must have been talking for a while, but Nathan was too consumed by the extreme vividness of the other night’s events rolling through his brain in real time, through Andrew’s perspective. Nathan channeled Andrew’s fear as if it were his own. He watched, paralyzed by terror, as the Shadow came in and attacked Andrew, strangling him. To Andrew, his attacker had been invisible.
“Nate!” Russell screamed.

Russell grabbed Nathan by the shoulder. His touch ripped Nathan out of the scene and his mind went blank. When he opened his eyes, he found himself shaking and out of breath.
“What happened?” Russell demanded. His eyes dug into Nathan’s, as if he wanted to see exactly what Nathan saw.
Nathan could not speak. “Uh…”

“Go ahead and tell me what happened. Did you see who took Drew?”

Nathan could not look directly into Russell’s eyes any longer. His stare was too intense. He also did not want to see the expression on Russell’s face when he explained to him what happened to Andrew, minutes before Russell returned home.
“You saw who took him, didn’t you?”
Nathan shook his head. “No.
“You saw what happened,” Russell accused. “I see it all over your face.”

Nathan shivered. The bedroom walls seemed to close in on him at all sides. His vision partially blurred. “I need to go home.”
“You have to tell me who took him,” Russell demanded.

“It didn’t take him,” Nathan blurted out. He had used the word ‘It’ instead of ‘he’, but it seemed the only accurate way to describe what he saw in his vision. “Andrew wasn’t ‘taken’.”

Russell’s eyes continued to pierce Nathan like needles. “Nate, I’m gonna need you to be a lot more specific than that. If whoever came in here didn’t take him, then where the hell is he? Is he still alive?”
Nathan nodded. “He left the apartment alive. You were on your way up the staircase and he was on the elevator. After that I don't know what happened to him.”

Russell appeared to go through a full spectrum of emotion, from devastating dread, to optimism. Nathan felt somewhat guilty, because there was a piece of vital information that Russell needed to hear, but Nathan did not have the courage to tell him:
Andrew was still alive. From what Nathan acquired from his vision, and there was still more details he needed, but from what he gathered, perhaps for not too much longer.