Tangled - Part 7

*** Late Night Visitor.

That night, we were in our usual spot at Pen Island. I hadn't wanted to go at all because of the way I was feeling, but Danny had insisted. After I’d thought about it and considering my last meeting with Lee, I decided that it was time to get back to living again because I knew that I had no hope of ever being with him.

I had checked, unnecessarily, from the door to see if Lee was at his usual seat at the bar. Why, I don’t know, because he was probably on his way to the other side of the country by now. He wasn't there of course, so I relaxed a bit. I pushed my disappointment at not seeing him to the back of my mind. Danny and I got talking with Clive and Darren, our normal Friday night routine. The guys noticed that I wasn't my usual, jolly self but they were good enough not to mention it. At one point Darren brought up Lee and wanted to know if anyone had seen him around. At my sudden sharp intake of breath Danny glanced at me, took in my stricken face and quickly changed the subject.

A little while later, Darren suddenly said, "Well, well, speak of the hot green eyed devil!"

I turned to look at the door, and there was Lee. To say that I was surprised at seeing him is an understatement. Wasn’t he supposed to be leaving town? He saw us all sitting in the booth and hesitated. He turned as if he was about to walk out again but then he changed his mind and ambled over to his usual seat at the bar and sat down. He ordered a drink and glanced in our direction again. He looked stunning in a pair of faded jeans and a red cotton shirt and I felt a stirring in my crotch at the sight of his dark-blond chest hair in the open neck.
His eyes met mine briefly but he looked away quickly.

He looked tired and haggard and I imagine that the tension between us was beginning to get to him. All I wanted to do was go to him, comfort him and love him but I forced myself to sit still. All the heartache and pain I had endured in the last few weeks came flooding back and overwhelmed me. I suddenly felt nauseous and my head started to pound. I wanted to jump up and scream at him.

"Here I am, damn you, look at me! Hate me if you must, but please, please just look at me and for God’s sake, love me."
Instead I said. "Danny, I've got a zinger of a headache. I'm going home, okay?"

"Okay! Are you going to be alright?" He asked concerned, his hand on my arm.

I nodded as I surreptitiously looked at Lee again. He saw Danny touch me and he quickly looked away, but not before I saw what seemed to be a look of pure anguish cross his face. It confused me terribly. Danny, observant Danny, saw me look in Lee's direction and said.
"What is it with you and that guy? I've lost count of the times you've copped out when he's been around."
"Nothing!" I said a little too quickly. "It's nothing! I've just got a headache, that's all."

Danny leaned closer to me.
"Bullshit!" He said. "Utter cow-crap!! I've been watching you and I know what's going on. You've fallen for him, haven't you?"

I looked at him blankly.
"Haven't you?" He repeated.
"Oh God, Danny, is it that obvious?" I asked.

“I'm not a total idiot you know, and I'm not blind.” he replied. “I've seen the way you look at him. You've fallen in love with him, big time.”
“It's all I ever think about." I said, a break in my voice.

Clive, who had watched our interchange with interest, leaned across the table and said. “It's like you have – I have the hots for the big, hairy, green eyed Denim Dude! - tattooed on your forehead.”
“Clive, don't be ridiculous.” Darren quipped. “That would never fit on his forehead!”

Danny stifled a laugh and I glared at him.
“It's not funny!” I chided him.
“Sorry.” He said apologetically and the smile slipped from his face. I turned to Clive and Darren.
“You guys know as well?” I asked. “How can you possibly know?”

Darren laughed. “Oh come on, Davey, wake up already! Everyone knows.”
“What?” I asked, stunned.
“Don't you dare start in on that 'what' thing again, I'll go crazy!” Clive said sharply.
“Ignore them.” Danny said with a wave of his hand in Clive’s direction.

“Everyone knows, Davey.” Danny chided me. “For God’s sake, you’ve been mooning around making sheep’s eyes at him whenever you see him.”
“Oh God!” I said. “I must look like a total idiot.”
"Why don't you tell him, Davey? At least you'll know where you stand." Danny said.
"I did, Danny." I whispered. "I told him, and that's the problem, he despises me. He's not interested in me. What's more, he's leaving town just to get away from me. Once, he told me that he couldn't even bear to look at me!" The tears started down my cheeks.
"Oh, Jesus!" He said.

Darren snorted. “What the hell did you expect? Flowers and candy? Love songs?” He asked. “I told you he was a tight ass!”
Danny glared at him and shook his head in warning. Darren slumped back in his seat and locked his lips and threw away the key with the all time hand gesture.

"Just look at me!" I said to Danny. "I'm a wreck! I can't sleep and my heart's breaking and there's absolutely nothing that I can do about it! Today I thought that I might try to get over it, but seeing him again now . . "
"God, I'm so sorry, Davey!"
"I have to go." I said. "I can't stay while he's here. I'll go crazy and I know I'll do something really insane."
"Do you want me to come with you? I will if you like." Wonderful Danny, always concerned about me.
"No, don't worry." I replied. "Stay and have fun. I'll be alright."
"Are you sure?"

I nodded and stood up.
"Okay!" He said. "I'll check up on you later."
I turned and made my way towards the exit. As I passed Lee, I heard him call after me.

"David wait, please, I . . " But I heard no more as I quickened my pace and dashed out of the club. I stumbled home, stripped down to my shorts, took some aspirin, went to bed and cried myself to sleep.
I dreamed that I was lost in a fire-storm. There were flames everywhere and no matter in which direction I turned, I couldn't find my way through. Then Lee was there. He came up from behind me and wrapped his arms about me.
“Don't worry.” He whispered into my ear. “I'll protect you. I'll always protect you.”

Suddenly, as in all dreams, everything changed. The flames were gone and we were standing on a beach. It was the small beach on my plot of land on the west coast, only there was something subtly different about it. It seemed more vast and it glowed with an unearthly orange light. Lee released me, moved out from behind me and walked up the beach away from me. I shouted for him to stop, to come back because the back of his shirt was smoldering and I needed to put it out. He stopped walking and turned to face me, but I couldn't make out his features. Where his face should have been, there was just an empty, hollow space. His voice came out of nowhere. “Remember, don't ever give up on me! I will come for you.”

Then to my horror, he slowly began to disappear. The scorch in his shirt suddenly burned its way through his body and he started to smolder and char like a burning photograph. Then with a burst of sparks, he was gone. I cried out in pain because I knew, deep down in the bottom of my heart, despite what he’d said minutes before, that he was gone forever and that he would never come for me. The agony and deep sense of loss I felt was overwhelming. I threw back my head and my screams of pain echoed out over the sea. Lightening, stark and blinding, suddenly slashed the sky in half and my cries were matched by great peals of thunder from above.

I awoke with a scream, tears streaming down my face, to insistent, thunderous knocking on my door. My bedside clock told me that I'd been asleep for just over an hour. I fell out of bed and stumbled, half asleep to the door. I pulled it open.
"What the hell, Danny! I'm trying to get some . . "

I froze, my entire body went cold and my heart jumped up into my throat. Danny was standing there, but Lee was standing directly behind him looking tired, as if he hadn't slept in a year. I was instantly awake, the terrible dream forgotten. I quickly brushed my cheeks clean of the tear tracks.

"What are you doing here?” I asked him, ignoring Danny. “I thought you were leaving."
"I'm going in the morning.” He said and shrugged. “We really need to talk."

"I don't think we have much to talk about, do we? You said it all today." I said accusingly. He held his hand up.
"Please David, I want . . "
Danny stepped in front of Lee.

“One second Lee, let me.” He said to stop him and then turned to me. "David, talk to him, please. It's very important." I hesitated, looked at Lee and shook my head.
“Danny.” I began. “I don't think you really understand what . . ”

He reached out and squeezed my hand to stop me and smiled. "David, I do understand, really I do, trust me, and right now I’m doing you the biggest favor of your life. Please listen to what he has to say. You’re a wreck and I can’t watch you go on like this so please, if anything, do it for me. You might want to do it for him too, but more importantly,” here his voice dropped to a whisper and he smiled, “do it for you! You won’t regret it, I promise."

With that, he looked at Lee, smiled and said, “Good luck!” and then he leaned forward and whispered into his ear. A small bit of resentment rose up in me at the new familiarity between the two of them. When the hell did that start??
Lee nodded and gave a small smile.
“Yeah, very.” He said softly. “Thanks, Danny.”

Danny grinned and at me and whispered. “Make nice now, okay?” Then he winked, turned and went next door to his apartment. I looked at Lee, who was staring at me strangely. His eyes traveled up and down my body and suddenly I was acutely aware of my rather small shorts which did little to hide my bulging assets. I moved a little further behind the door.

"Can I come in?” He asked. “Please?"
"I don't think so! I can't do this anymore because it's tearing me apart. I'm sure that what you want to say can be said out here." I replied wearily. “Besides, I’m not dressed.”
"So? I’ve seen guys more naked than you are. Please let me in." He said. I felt a sharp pang of jealousy at his reference to naked men. "Just hear me out, okay? Give me a couple of minutes."

His green eyes pleaded with me. I hesitated, but then his voice from my dream echoed in my head - “Don't ever give up on me! I’ll come for you.” - he'd said before he'd vanished into thin air and now there was something in his eyes that pulled at me, so I decided to take Danny’s advice and ‘make nice!’

"Alright. You have two minutes!" I said. “I’m only doing this for Danny’s sake.”

I left the door open and walked through to the living room. He came in, shut the door and stood in the hall awkwardly and stared at me.

"Well?" I said and moved back to him. I really didn’t want to make too nice! "So talk, I'm listening and your time is running out!" I stopped in front of him, my hands on my hips, terribly aware of my semi-nudity and the way his eyes roamed over my body.
"I . . !" He started and stopped. His piercing eyes ripped me open and I felt that same something deep inside me tear apart and start to bleed again. He had that effect on me and I could do nothing about it. His gaze travelled down my body, stopped on my chest for a second and then continued down. He paused at my crotch and then carried his gaze down to my bare feet.

“Up here, Lee!” I quipped and clicked my fingers next to my cheek. “My face is up here!”
“You . . !" He tried again as his eyes travelled up from my feet and settled on my face. I stared at him unblinking.
“I what??” I said sharply. His distracted air was beginning to get to me. “Will you please concentrate, I haven’t got all night!”
"You have a spider on your foot?!?” He exclaimed, his eyebrows raised.

“What??” I said surprised.
“You have a spider tattooed on your foot.” He said again and pointed at my left foot.
“Yes, I know! It happens to be my foot!!” I sighed. “And what the hell has that got to do with anything anyway? Talk already, I’m waiting!”

He looked down at my foot again.
“You have a tattoo!!” He said under his breath.
"Tick-tock, tick-tock!" I said with icy calm. What the hell was his problem? God, he was beginning to drive me insane. His eyes found mine again.

"Damn it, Davey! Why can’t you lighten up and relax. Do you have to be so . . so damn difficult?" He sighed.
"Me? Difficult?" I laughed sourly. The use of the diminutive form of my name was not lost on me this time. “And don’t you ever call me Davey again!”
“Yes you; damn difficult.” He said forcefully, ignoring the part about my name. “You make things so bloody difficult for everyone . . for me.”
“For you? Ha!” I exclaimed angrily. “That’s it, time's up. I think you'd better leave now."

I brushed past him to open the door but he stopped me by grabbing my arm.
“Just hang on a second, David.” He said. “I . . !”

I spun out of his grip and stumbled back, my breathing fast and ragged.
“Don't you touch me!” I growled. “I can't take it anymore, can’t you understand? You drive me crazy every time you come near me, every time you touch me! Don’t you get it?” I pointed shakily at the door. “Please just go!”

He stepped forward and grabbed my shoulders, but again I twisted out of his grip. I was not going to let him push me around anymore and I was determined to keep a lot of space between us. His close proximity was driving me insane with need for him.
“Don't touch me!!” I yelled.
“Will you just let up and let me talk already?” He said grimly. “I want to tell . . !”

“No!” I growled. “No more, I’ve had enough! Just go and leave me alone!” I moved to the door to throw it open but he lunged at me again and grabbed my shoulders. I brought my arms up and thrust my hands hard against his chest. He stumbled back a couple of steps, surprised at my vehemence.

“Get out of my house!” I growled with a dangerous edge to my voice. “And get the hell out of my life!”
He glared at me for a moment and then he flew at me again and gripped the tops of my arms forcefully.

“David, I swear that if you don't hear me out, I'll tie you down until you do!” He growled menacingly, his face close to mine. I struggled to get free of him but this time his grip was firm and his fingers dug into my arms painfully, leaving bruises that would surface in a day or two.
“I want you to leave right now!” I threw in his face. “I can’t bear to be near you anymore, you’re driving me insane! Get the hell out and stay away from me.” My voice grated with anger.

“No!” He spat back, his eyes blazing pits of green flame. “I'm not leaving until we've had this out, even if it takes the rest of the night!!”
He pushed me backwards until I hit the wall with a jolt. Oh no, not again, I thought.

“Now, you are going to listen to me whether you like it or not.” He said, his breathing fast and irregular. “There is something I have to tell you.”
"Get your hands off me!" I hissed as I struggled against his iron grip.

I tried to pry his fingers off my arms but he was too strong. I brought my arms up under his grip and tried to push him away, my hands flat on his broad chest. He leaned into me with his full weight so it was like trying to move a wall.
“Stand still, for God’s sake!” He growled. “Or I swear I’ll punch your lights out!”

I stopped struggling because I knew without a doubt, that he probably would hit me. There was something in his voice that made me believe that he meant it. I glared at him for a second and then tore my eyes away from his.

“Please don’t do this.” I begged, hating the pleading tone that had crept into my voice.
"Look at me David!" He said. “Look at me!”
"No! Why do you keep doing this?" I moaned. "Haven't you done enough already? Let me go . . !"

“David goddamn it, will you just look at me!” He growled. He released one of my arms and gripped my chin painfully and turned my face to his and his eyes found mine, but somehow they had changed. The anger was gone and had been replaced with a look I had never seen before. Then purposefully, he brought his lips down to mine slowly and kissed me, just like he had done at the Mardi Gras.

I struggled again briefly but then all the fight went out of me and I slumped back against the wall, completely and utterly defeated. I moaned as I surrendered to his kiss. His tongue probed its way past my lips and warmly explored the inside of my mouth and I gladly twisted my tongue around it and moaned again. My hands stopped their useless attempts to push him away and found the front of his shirt. They gripped the edges of it and pulled him closer to me uncontrollably. My mind was screaming to get away but my heart was weak and wanted more of him. His arms went around me and pulled me tight against him.

He pulled away and looked down at me. My lips burned from the touch of his and my traitorous hands clung to the edges of his shirt, keeping him close. The smell of him made my head whirl and the warmth of his body against mine was intoxicating.

"Don't! Please, don't! Why can't you just leave me alone! Do you get some sort of perverse kick out of torturing me, slamming me into walls and kissing me for no reason?" I whispered as I fought desperately to breathe.
"Oh God, I am so sorry. I thought . . !" His glorious green eyes tore my soul apart. "Oh, David . . I thought you were taken." He whispered.
"Taken?" My voice shook. “Taken where?” I asked, utterly confused.

"I thought that you and Danny were . . !" Then I got what he was trying to say.
"Danny and I . . ?" I started but he stopped me, his fingers on my lips.

"It’s alright! I know, I know!" He whispered, his eyes gentle. "Danny practically attacked me after you left. He wanted to know what was going on. We had a long talk and what he told me was very enlightening. He's very protective of you, you know. He said that you and he weren't . . and I told him that I . . and then he told me everything."

"You're not making any sense, for God’s sake!" I said. "Anyway, it doesn't change a thing. I know what you think of me. You've made that pretty plain. I'm a complication and you want things simple! You obviously despised me so much that you couldn't even look at me. You wanted to be 'just friends’ and you know that I can't do that, it would kill me." My voice broke. I let go of his shirt and dropped my hands to my sides hopelessly.

He released me and stepped back.
"Oh God, I'm so sorry. I couldn't look at you because I wanted you so much and I couldn't have you!" I looked at him stunned.
“What?” I asked. “What are you saying?”

He laughed quietly.