Tangled : Part Eleven

Part FIFTEEN.

SONGS AND PROMISES.

At my apartment, I threw a change of clothes, my toothbrush and razor into a bag while Lee watched me. He had been true to his word. He had not let me out of his sight for a minute. The drive around to his apartment was short and silent. He parked the car, turned it off and then faced me. In the dark of the garage his eyes glittered.
"Don't you find," he began, "that the anticipation of something is half the fun? It's so exciting?"
"Right now," I said, "it's killing me."

"I thought you were playing hard to get. That you wanted to be courted and coaxed." He laughed.
"I did," I said breathlessly, "but I want you so much, I'm going to let you skip those bits and go on from there."
He grinned. "Okay. So what comes next?" He stopped, teasing me. "Hmm, let me see . . oh yes." Then he leaned closer. "Seduction." He breathed the word sexily into my ear, and flicked his tongue across my ear-lobe. I shivered with the thrill of it.

I turned to face him. We were nose to nose so all he had to do was move ever so slightly to kiss me. His lips brushed mine lightly. I leaned in for more, but he pulled away slightly. He smiled and then kissed me again. A long, slow, gentle teasing kiss that had my cock hard in a second. His tongue parted my lips and slowly explored my mouth. His lips moved sensually over mine and then he withdrew slightly and bit my bottom lip gently. It was the most erotic kiss I have ever experienced. He pulled away, leaving me light headed with desire.
"Oh God." I breathed. "You’re good, really, really good!"
He chuckled. "Oh yeah? Well, you ain't seen nothing yet."

"Look at what you've done to me." I said and took his hand and put it on my bulging, aching crotch.
"Mmm! Delicious." He moaned, as he fondled my bulge. He leaned forward and kissed me again and then he pulled away.
"But," he smiled, withdrawing his hand, "You're going to have to wait. I have great self-control, even though I want you more than anything right now. You'll have me when I am ready for you to have me." Then he laughed. "To quote you: 'Just what kind of a guy do you think I am?'"

I groaned with frustration. "The guy that's driving me crazy-mad. The guy that I want to have right now, right here in the car. The guy that I will surely kill very soon if he doesn't do something about it!"
"Just think how great it's going to be." He breathed into my ear with another flick of his tongue, and got out of the car.
While he was locking the car, I said. "There is one thing I would like to know."
"Huh? What's that?"
"What exactly did you whisper to Jacob as we were leaving?" I asked.

He grinned. "Oh that!" He said. "You really want to know?"
"Yes I do." I said. "You said something about attending to business and then you whispered in his ear."
"Yeah!" He said and smiled. "I told him that we hadn't had sex yet and that I wanted to get us home as fast as possible so that we could. It's all I've been thinking about the entire day. I’ve been in a semi-hard state for most of the day."
"Is there no end to your audacity?" I asked.
"Nope!" He grinned. "You're going to have to learn to live with it."

As we walked up to his apartment, I thought about what he'd said the previous night.
“You think tonight is going to be the perfect time?” I asked quietly.
He stopped and faced me.
“Yes.” He replied huskily. “I have a feeling that it will be and I will make it so, I promise. I can't wait for you any longer.”

We continued up to his apartment, both acutely aware of our bulging, aching groins and the high sexual tension between us despite what had occurred that morning.

In his apartment, he sent me to shower while he ordered some take-out Chinese for us. I ran the hot water in the shower and stood under the stinging spray. I was excited and very aroused although my erection had disappeared, but I was strangely calm.
I dressed in just a pair of shorts and a T-shirt for easy access, and padded downstairs barefoot. He gave me some cash and asked me to wait for the take-out while he showered. I remembered the package that Gary had given to me. I opened it and inside I found a complete set of his CDs. Every disc he had ever released was there and each one had been carefully signed. On the note that accompanied the CDs, he had written;

"David, take care of your 'new guy'. He is truly one of the greatest guys I know! Listen carefully, very carefully! Gary James." I wasn't quite sure what he meant. Then I noticed that amongst the discs was a CD with a plain white cover. Typed on the cover was a list of the songs on the CD and judging by the song list, it looked like an album by Andy Williams. The disc itself was a plain disc without a label, so I assumed that it was a copy of the original. I thought that maybe Gary had put it in by mistake. I enjoyed Andy Williams and this was a compilation that I'd never heard before so I slipped it into the CD player. Soon, the incredibly smooth voice of the singer floated around the room. The first song was A Time for Us, the love theme from Romeo and Juliet.

I was overwhelmed by Gary's thoughtfulness and his generosity. I was sitting on the couch when Lee came down, also in shorts and T-shirt. I showed him the collection of CDs and the note. He smiled.
"He really likes you, you know. He told me so!"
"He's wonderful, they're both wonderful. Thank-you for taking me there, it was magical.”

Lee cocked his head and listened to the music that was playing. “Why are you playing this?” He asked with a small frown.
“I like Andy Williams and it was in the packet with Gary's CDs. I think he might have put it in by mistake.” I replied.
He laughed. “Oh no, that's no mistake!” He said archly. “I'm pretty sure he slipped it in on purpose.”

 

“Why would he do that?” I asked.
“Because it's not Andy Williams.” He said cryptically.
“Well then, who is it? They’re Andy Williams songs and it certainly sounds like him.” I said, getting a little impatient.
“Just the song list is his. Listen carefully.” He said.

I picked up the remote and turned the volume up and really listened to the voice and not the song itself. I noticed then that the voice was not that of Williams, but very similar, yet oddly familiar. Then it hit me and I knew why Gary had told me to listen very carefully. I turned to Lee in surprise. “This is you, isn't it?” I asked.
He nodded. “It's a demo disc we made years ago. Gary thought an album of this kind, you know, old familiar classic songs, would sell, but it didn't. People had moved on, tastes had changed.”

I listened again and now that I knew it was Lee singing, I could hear it. He was now onto Canadian Sunset. I sat spellbound. “It's great!” I said. “You really do have a wonderful voice.”
“Thank-you.” He smiled. “But I don't know how much more of it I can take. Please change it.”
“No.” I said adamantly. “I want to hear the whole thing.”

The food arrived and we sat on cushions on the carpet in front of the fire and ate, and listened to the rest of Lee's CD. After the last song had ended, he sighed and whispered. “Thank God!”
“That was amazing.” I said. “You have a gorgeous voice. I'm going to treasure that disc forever.”

We finished our meal in silence. I couldn't take my eyes off him, his long, lean legs, with a layer of golden hair on them; his powerful arms and his incredibly strong looking, but sensitive hands, and the whorls of chest hair above the neck of his T-shirt. Lee lay back against the cushions and stretched out full length. He sighed contentedly. I watched the fine muscles under his tanned skin jump and flex. I was intrigued by the way they moved in his long muscular legs, and the way the hair on them shone golden in the fire-light.

I loved the way his T-shirt had pulled up slightly to reveal his furry belly and the way his shorts clung to the contours of his genitals. I stretched out next to him. He pulled my head down onto his chest and we lay there together in silence. I put my hand on his naked belly, savoring the feel of his warm skin under the softness of his belly hair. I wriggled my finger into his navel and he squirmed under me.
“That tickles.” He laughed.

He released my hair from its constricting band, fanned it out across my shoulders and gently stroked it. I ran my hand up his body under his T-shirt and caressed his chest. I felt his nipples harden to stiff round bumps.
"Hmm!" So nice!" He sighed. I ran my hand down to his belly again and my fingers touched the waistband of his shorts. He took my hand and pushed it under the elastic and my fingers found his thick pubic hair and twisted through it. He held my hand there and sighed again.
“So nice!” He breathed.

“Oh, you have no idea!” I whispered.
"You know something, Davey?" He started softly. "Being gay isn't so much about one night stands, limp hands and continual sex like everyone seems to think. It can be so much more, like friendship, love, sharing and companionship. I've always wanted that. Someone I can love unconditionally, someone who will share my joys and disappointments, someone I can talk to, someone to laugh with and maybe someone to cry with. Someone who cares for me as much as I care for him. We're human, Davey, and we all want to be loved.” He paused. “I've been hurt, as all of us may have been at some time or other and I never want to be in that position again." He stopped.

I kept silent. My fingers wove in and out of his pubic hair. His hand wandered down my back and under the waistband of my shorts. He cupped my buttock and gently massaged it.

"I never dreamed that I would fall in love like this. I've always guarded against it because I didn't want to be hurt again. But, when I first saw you that changed. You awoke something in me; some part of me that I had locked away, that had withered and died. The first time I ever saw you, I couldn't take my eyes off you. Although I didn’t realize it at the time, I loved you in that moment and I've never wanted anyone so much in my life. You said it yourself – love is unpredictable and completely unexpected. And it was so for me. But when I saw how close you were to Danny, I felt hurt and rejected. My immediate reaction was to lash out at you, to push you away and for that I am truly sorry." He stopped again, and again I said nothing.

"What I'm trying to say is that I want that kind of commitment, I want that kind of relationship and I want it with you. I know this is all quite new; I mean, we have known each-other for a while but we only really found each-other last night. So I want you to think about this – do you want that kind of commitment; are you prepared to follow this through. You don't have to answer now; I just want you to think about it carefully before you make any decisions." And then he said so softly that I barely heard him. “I couldn’t bear to be hurt again.”
I opened my mouth to answer him, but the words caught in my throat.

"I don't . . !" I managed to get past the lump in my throat.
He stiffened. I pulled my hand from his shorts and pressed down against his chest to stop him from moving. I tried again.

"I don't need to think about anything. I know that I could never let you go now, I can't let you go. It's too late for me already, I'm in too deep. I told you that just a few days ago, so come what may you're stuck with me!" I said and he relaxed, with a contented sigh. "I've loved you from the moment you looked across that bar at me. Do you have any idea what that look did to me?" I paused.
“No.” He whispered. “Tell me.”

This was the first of many times that I would tell him of my love. I don’t think he could ever get used to the idea that someone could love him so much, unconditionally. In this, and only in this, was he very insecure.
"It stripped me naked, Lee. I felt as if you knew my every little secret. You looked straight into my soul and I got so lost in those eyes of yours, so lost that I felt completely trapped and I couldn’t move. I've never felt that way before, and no-one has ever made me feel like that. In that instant, you could have walked up to me and pushed a red hot poker through me and I wouldn’t have blinked. I felt as if you owned me, as if I could never belong to anyone else.

I ran outside because I couldn't breathe and my hands were shaking so badly that I could barely push the door open. You totally unnerved me - and you want to know something really weird - I loved it, every second of it and I wanted more. After that my fascination for you became obsession. I wanted to avoid you at all costs but, at the same time I just couldn't keep away. I finally admitted it to myself that night at the bus stop when you called me 'a piece of work'. And then you rejected me after I told you that I loved you. You walked away and it hurt so much that I wanted to die. I have never felt such loss, such pain.

I thought that I'd lost you, that I would never see you again, and it nearly killed me. Then you kept popping up, in the rain, at the supermarket, Mardi Gras and each time I saw you it got worse, and I sank deeper and deeper. I love you and that will never change, it's ingrained in me now, an integral part of me. You are all I have ever hoped for and it would kill me if we were to part now. So, to answer your question - yes, I am ready for that kind of commitment and yes, I want it with you and no-one else but you and yes, I am prepared to follow this through, no matter what."

He was silent for a few moments and then he said, "Now, I am content." He sighed. "But I never meant to cause you so much pain."
"I know." I whispered. "It wasn't your fault and I have never blamed you for it. I told you that in the supermarket. I did it to myself, by allowing myself to fall completely and mindlessly in love with you and by allowing you to invade me, body and soul. But do you want to know something? I wouldn't want it any other way."

Then he pushed me up and got onto his knees in front of me. He pulled me up until I was facing him, also sitting on my haunches. He took both my hands in his and looked into my eyes.
Then he quietly said. "I want to say something to you, make you a promise, something I've never said to anyone, ever."
"Alright." I said. "Go ahead."

"I promise you that I will love you every day of my life until I die. You are my light, my love and my life. I promise you this with all my heart and soul."
I looked into his eyes and believed every word he said.

"And I promise to love you and be yours every day of my life until I die. You are my every breath, you have my heart, my body, my mind and soul, willfully given, unconditionally. I promise you this with every fiber of my being."
We sat and looked into each-other's eyes for what seemed like hours, then he stood up and pulled me to my feet. He lifted his hands, cupped my face with them and kissed me softly, his lips warm against mine. Then he took my hand leaned close to me and said quietly, his voice husky with desire.

"I think that no other time could be more perfect. Come!"
And then he led me upstairs to his bedroom.