The Fourth Arabian Night

Not all relationships are perfect. No matter what ages or orientation, all relationships will face problems. Some may last longer than others, some may even bring relationships to an end. Conflicts could also bring some relationships closer. A fight could change a relationship forever and cause a domino effect over everyone involved with the relationship. Problems, conflicts, fights, could serve as a blessing or a curse on a relationship, and that's what I learned on the Fourth Arabian Night. 

The conflict began on the night were I slept outside on the patio swing with Xavier. Because I was extremely horny he offered to perform oral sex on me and fulfill my desires. Before we slept however, our lust was too strong for each other, and when he planted a kiss on me, I kissed him right back and enjoyed it. I placed someone over my boyfriend whom I had worked so hard for. On the way back home, Joe reminded me who my first boyfriend was, who my first real love was, and that was him. But I never had the heart to tell him that I loved someone for a night other than him, but I could also never keep something so important from him. Even if I wanted to, he could always detect something, or pull it out of me through mental force.

"Come on, it's Wednesday, we always go to the Hamburger place on Wednesdays, it's a tradition!" Joe was convincing me on a phone call. 
"It was my parent's tradition, I just go there to get something to eat," I debated.
"Tony, what's gotten into you? We always go to the Hamburger place, you told me that you wanted Wednesdays to be the Hamburger place day, why the sudden change of heart?" Joe asked. He was starting to sound a little sad.
"Joe, I just... Alright fine, I'll be over your house in a second," I surrendered.
"Yes! Come on, you'll be thankful that you came! And bring my bracelet, I told you to hold on to it last week."
"I won't forget."
"Okay. Bye, I love you."
"Bye." I hung up. 'shit' I thought, 'I didn't say I love you back to him! He'll suspect something.' 

I walked into my room and took out his bracelet that he had been wearing for a while now, with small pictures of the holy family on the beads. I was trying to keep Joe in my mind and not Xavier. No matter how hard I tried, I kept thinking about him, was it true that I had fallen in love with somebody else? I picked up my phone, and called Xavier.

After a couple rings, Xavier picked up the phone, "Tony! What's up man! How's is goin'?" 
"It's great man, I just called to say hi and... are you doing anything tonight?" I asked him. My heart sunk when I asked him that.
"Well no, I was just going to sit at home and watch TV or something, but, I'd love to hang out with you!" 
"Awesome! Where do you wanna go?" 
"Wherever, just stop by and we'll decide when you arrive."
"Great, I'm comin' over right now!" 
We hung up, and I put my cell phone in my pocket. I got up and put on some cologne, got the hair done, put on Joe's bracelet, got my keys and headed downstairs. 

"Mama, I'm going over my friend's house," I called out to my mom.
"Okay, lock the door on your way out," she assured me.
I obeyed and ran into my car and drove off. I already knew the way to Xavier's house by heart. And after about fifteen minutes of driving, Joe hadn't even crossed my mind once...

I reached the familiar house from the previous Friday and pulled into the drive way. I looked up at the big house, took a deep breath, and approached their door. I knocked on the door and waited, while my heart pounded like a drum. After several seconds, I was greeted at the door by Xavier. I saw he was already smiling, excited to see me, as I was for him. 
"Hey Tony, come on in," Xavier invited me in and I looked around the familiar house. There I saw Trish coming down the stairs, "Hey! Tony! How are you doing, back for another show?" Trish joked.
"Good to see you Trish, and I just came by to take Xavier out," I responded. She came down the stairs and we exchanged kisses.
"Is Joe here too?" Trish asked.
"Uhh, no. He decided to stay home tonight," I explained.
"Okay, well you two have fun, don't stay out too late!" Trish joked again.
"Okay mom! Let's go Tony," Xavier led me out the door and we walked down the drive way and into my car. 

I turned on the car, backed up, and drove off. 
"So, were do you wanna go?" Xavier asked.
"You'll see. I've thought of someplace special that we can go to," I replied.
"Great, but Joe's okay with this isn't he?"
"Wha... Joe? Okay? Of course he's okay, we even told me to tell you he had a great time last Friday," I was a great liar.
"Really? That's nice. Hey tell him I said Que pasa, when you get home."
"Will do Xavier." 
We stayed silent for a little while, then we drove passed the Hamburger place, I prayed that he wouldn't see Joe there. Thankfully, he didn't. 
"Hey you see that white building we just passed that said 'Hamburger' written on the top?" I asked him.
"Yeah, what about it?" Xavier queried. 
"Well my parents used to go there every Wednesday since the day they started dating, since 1984, until I was five, which was 1993."
"Wow, every Wednesday? That's cool! But why did they stop?"
"We'll, I guess they started feeling old, and that place usually has young customers."
"That's cool, how long has that place been standing?"
"They started going there when it was first built, so I guess it's 22 years old, and I've always wanted to carry on the tradition of eating hamburgers there with someone I care for, you wanna go there sometime?"
"Really? I'd love to! That's such a great offer!" 
"I'm glad you took it, we can go next week."
"That's great, thanks for choosing me to go with."
That's when I started feeling bad about leaving out the some of the truth, but it's not lying is it?

We came up to the end of the highway, and I turned into a wooded area. I drove down a dirt pathway and up to a large grassy meadow.
"Wow, what a great view!" Xavier started. He looked up at the moon and the stars that reflected light down on us.
"Yeah, I kind of figured that you'd be into looking up at the night sky," I told him. I looked at him as he gazed at the night sky. I noticed he was more beautiful than he had ever been. His eyes seemed more vibrant and his lips seemed more seductive. Something was making me more attracted to Xavier, but I was too mesmerized to think about. When Xavier looked at me he saw that I was staring at him. He suddenly attacked. Xavier grabbed my head, and pulled it on to his, locking our lips together. What a great feeling I was experiencing, better than anyone else I had ever been with for some odd reason. A pair of sexy Hispanic lips were locked with mine. I felt his tongue swirl around in my mouth, and our lips press against each other as we swapped saliva for a couple minutes. He pulled me down on top of him as he pulled the passenger seat all the way down. I leveled myself on top of him, and never left lips with him. I felt one of his hands feel my body, from my sides, rubbing my back, and then going underneath my shirt. 

I made my move on him my working my way in the front. I started by feeling up his smooth abs, and working my way upwards. I grabbed his chest and felt his nipple around, and then my hand descended back over his abs, and then on his jeans. I messed around with his belt a little and then got it undone. It seemed the more I opened his jeans up, I harder he held me down to his face. I unbuttoned his pants and unzipped his jeans, and made my way down onto his boxers. It was pure ecstasy when I had the feeling of his throbbing bulge in the palm of my hand again. I massaged it a little through the cloth and felt it grow thicker and harder. 

Back on top, Xavier felt it was a good time to work his way under my shorts. Luckily for him, they weren't locked on my belt, they were basketball shorts bounded to my waste by elastic which he stretched with his hand and worked his way under my boxers slowly. I felt his smooth hand on one of my butt cheeks, as he moaned when he felt the goodness. He squeezed me a little, then moved over to the side and started playing with my asshole.

Just when I had lifted up his elastic boxers, and once again had his throbbing cock in my hand while I felt the precum creeping up on my fingers, the beauty and the pleasure was broken, by a cell phone ring tone. My lips and Xavier's parted, he looked down for his cell phone, and without looking at the caller, he tossed his phone in the backseat, and instantly grabbed my head again and made out with me some more. Our tongues were starting to go faster and moving all over the place, but the romance was being interrupted by Xavier's irritating phone. 

Xavier grunted in anger, took his hand out of my shorts and off my head, crawled out from underneath me, and reached out for his phone. I sat down and started rubbing his calves, while I waited. Xavier looked at his phone and took the call, and in anger, he greeted the caller with "WHAT?!" 

There was a pause...
"Oh, hey, I'm sorry, you just called at a wrong time."
.....
"Uh, yeah, he's with me."
I looked up in shock, "wait! If it's Joe, don't tell him I'm here!" I whispered.
He shushed me up.
.....
"We were driving around M-53, and reached this wooded area above a meadow, he told me you were cool with us hanging out."
"Dude, give me the phone!" I whispered.
Xavier pushed me back.
.....
"About 8:30"
.....
"Wait, we passed the Hamburger place, how long were you waiting there." 
.....
"Oh my God, alright, he's coming home right now."
.....
"Peace out bro." 

He pulled his legs off of me buttoned up his pants and sat up, "you told me that Joe knew we were gonna hang out."
"Alright look, I didn't wanna hang out with him, but I didn't have the heart to tell him I wanted to visit you," I lied. 
"He was waiting the Hamburger place for a half an hour, we'd you stand him up?" 
"Because I didn't want him to interrogate me on where I was going, he was already begging me to go with him to the Hamburger place, and he wouldn't take no for an answer." 
Xavier paused and looked down in disappointment, "take me home Tony."
"Xavier, please." 
"Just take me home dude."
I sighed and jumped back in the driver's seat, and he got back in the passenger seat and adjusted the chair. I started the car, and got out of the wooded area and back on the highway. 

It was a long drive back to his house, I even had to pass my neighborhood to get back to his place. It was a 25-minute ride and we didn't speak a word. He looked out the window the entire time without sparing a glance. 

Finally, when we reached his house, but before we got out, Trish came running out. She had in her hand a pie tray. She approached my car which was parked in her drive-way, "Tony Honey! Maria and I made this for you and Joe, I hope you like cherry!"
"We love cherry. Thank you Trish," I took the tray and kissed her on the cheek. She waved goodbye and jogged back into the house. I looked down at the pie, one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me, and as soon as Xavier was getting out of the car, I stopped him, "Xavier, I understand if you're mad at me, but please don't tell Trish about what just happened, she's too sweet, I don't want for her to think any less of me."
"Well then, she will never see your true colors," Xavier replied, and he returned to his house.

Disappointed, I backed out of the driveway and headed home. I thought to myself, 'okay, I already made plans with Xavier and I wasn't thinking of you at the time, no... that's too unbelievable... I received an emergency text... no... phone call, from Xavier, saying that he needed me over at his house pronto. No, nothing that Joe and ask Xavier about.' I was in a dilemma. I needed a way to make sure that Joey wouldn't get angry at me for ditching him for Xavier, because he was already pissed off at me, and I didn't want to ruin it with both guys. 

Before I knew it, I was driving down my street, looking at all the people inside of there homes living without a worry on their minds. Normally, from the beginning of my street to my house, it would take ages, but time was moving faster when I was nervous. I couldn't think of anything to tell Joe, I guess I had better tell him the truth, after all, if I stood Joe Campbell up, it had to have been for a good reason. 

I got closer to my house and saw my garage was open, and there was someone standing by my mom's car. I turned in the driveway and saw Joe waiting in my own garage to scold me. I turned off my car, took the pie and walked into my home. 

Joe looked pretty upset, he had his arms crossed and he was looking down, full of anger, shame, and sweat. I stood nearby him and waited for him to make the first move. 

"Fifteen minutes, I waited at my house for you, and for the very first time in eight years, you didn't show up at my house when you told me you were going to, you lied to my Tony. Why." Joe stated with a strong opening.
"Because... I just..." I tried to break it to him slowly.
"And then, when I thought you were waiting for me at the Hamburger place, I walked there, and you were nowhere to be found. After thirty minutes for sitting at the counter alone, drawing pictures of us on napkins, I realized you weren't coming. Why'd you do it Tony?" Joe threw napkins at my feet, I looked down, and then looked back up at him. 
"I chose to hang out with Xavier today instead of you... because..." I was stalling. 
"Because..."
"Because last Friday..."
"Yes..."
"When you and Julio were asleep, I..."
"Go on spit it out Tony."
"Xavier and I sat out on the patio and we made out."
"What do you mean made out?"
"We were on top of each other, and we fell asleep in each other's arms after he gave me oral sex."
"WHAT?! Why didn't you tell me?!" Joe's emotions were mixed with anger and sadness. 
"What's the big deal, we're always in groups with other guys!" I was trying to defend myself, even though I knew I was wrong, I felt like a defense attorney. 
"You loved another boy that you knew for only eight hours as opposed to me? Who you claim you loved for eight years?!"
"Joe, do you have any idea how disrespectful and two-faced you were acting on Friday just to impress new people?!"
"You mean the playful teasing that you used to be turned on by justifies you loving someone else, then lying to me?"
I paused for a second, thinking of what to say.
"And what about today? what did you guys do you two do today?" Joe interrogated.
"Nothing, we were just looking at the stars, I love looking at the night sky," that was partially the truth. 
"And nothing else?" 
"No, I did not do anything else with him."
"You didn't go on top of him in the passenger seat and unbuckle his belt while Frenching with him while her worked his way up your shorts from the back?"
I was stunned. 
"Yeah, he told me everything." 
"Look, he pulled my head onto his, he kissed me!"
"Oh yeah, and you put up a great fight didn't you?"
I scoffed, "come on Joe, as if you've never done anything with anyone else."
Joe stopped, "I can't believe you just said that to me. First you made out with another boy behind my back, then you lie about it, then you stood me up at the Hamburger place, and now you accuse my of cheating on you? What the fuck has gotten into you?!" 
I stomped over to my car outside the garage, "maybe I'm not okay with this relationship, you're always the one calling the shots, making the decisions, you're always the... top."
Joe turned to me, "Is that what this is all about, you're angry because I'm always on top, and you try to solve it by trying to make love to Xavier?"
"Well at least he knows how to please a man." 
Joe stopped, that concluded the argument, he walked out of my garage in awe. 
"And here, Trish made this pie for us," I forcefully gave him the pie, "since Xavier probably sang like a canary to her, she'd probably appreciate it better if you had this pie all to yourself."
Joe held the pie and lowered his head in disappointment, "you know it's funny, I thought that on our graduation night, I reached the climax, the turning point, of my life. I showed my love for my best friend and wanted to spend my life with him..."
I interrupted him, "Joe, I'm not about to sit here and sacrifice every day of my life because of a relationship."
"I've made sacrifices for you Tony, think about that," Joe turned around and walked back to his house. 
I inhaled deeply and went back into my garage. I looked at the floor and picked up the napkin I dropped earlier. I opened it up and saw a bunch of stick figure drawings of Joe and I. One where was were hugging, kissing, sitting in a heart, holding hands, one with him on top of me in a bed, and "JOEY + TONY 4EVER" written on the top. I crumbled it up and shoved it in my pocket and walked into my house. 

"Anthony, you know Joe was just here," my sister informed me when I came into the house.
"Yeah, don't get used to the idea of him being around," I told her.
"What? You got into a fight?"
"I don't wanna talk about it," I went upstairs, closed my door, and went to sleep at 10:00 for the first time in the summer. 

*****

I woke up that morning forgetting what had happened the previous night. I looked over my bed and saw that Joe wasn't on the floor. 'Oh yeah,' I thought 'he turned against me.' I got up, and things were coming back to me. From when I stood Joe up, to making out with Xavier, to the fight in my garage, it was all clear to me again by the time I reached the bathroom. I wiped my eyes ad studied myself in the mirror. 
"You don't need him Tony," I said to myself, "he was a self-centered conceited jerk is what he was. After all, look at you! You can get any guy you want." I turned on the cold water for the shower, took of my shorts and got inside. The cold water woke me up and pour life back into me. I cleansed myself off, shampooed, body washed, whatever, but the shower I was taking seemed a lot... shorter. It seemed like I was missing something, and it wasn't as enjoyable or relaxing as it normally was. 

When I got out of the shower, I dried myself off and brushed my teeth. I starting thinking about what Joe and I used to do, mimic each other's brushing moves. I almost forgot he wasn't there, and snapped out of it after smiling while brushing my teeth. I spit out to the tooth paste, "get a grip Tony, he probably forgot all about you anyway, going and fucking around already by now," I convinced myself. 

I went downstairs and brought a bowl of cereal into the study room, I turned on the computer and decided to chat with old friends. I turned on my MSN, but found that nobody was online. There were only a couple people who I met through the internet. I sighed, X'ed out of messenger, and spun the chair around, thinking of what I could do for the day. The house was hot and the air conditioning remained off. You know you have the cheapest parents on Earth when the refuse to turn on the air conditioning because of the high bill. Lord help me. 

I zoned out for a long time and my thoughts were interrupted by my cell phone ringing. Saved by he bell. I ran upstairs to pick up the phone, looked at the caller I.D. and saw my aunt's name written on the screen. I sighed and answered the phone. She told my to tell my mom to stop by her house in the afternoon to help her move all of her clothes in the new house, not exactly the phone call I was expecting. I went through my phone book and saw a bunch of name of old friends whom I hadn't talked to since school ended. I stopped at Xavier's name. I decided it'd be best to call him and settle things. I pressed "send and waited for the other line to pick up. 

The phone rang for at least thirty seconds before someone picked up.
"Hello?" said the voice on the other line.
I recognized Julio's voice, "Hey Julio, where's Xavier at?"
"Hold on," Julio put me on hold for at least a minute, "sorry man, he's not here."
"well why'd he leave his cell phone at his house?" I asked.
The was another long pause, "he didn't want any interruptions. Look I'm sorry Tony, but I gotta go."
"Okay, bye Julio," I told him.
"Peace," Julio hung up immediately. Wow, where the fuck is the fire? 
I looked at my cell phone and saw that the conversation lasted about two minutes. Wow, I recalled talking to him for a total of about 20 seconds. I'm not five years old, I know he was talking to Xavier behind the phone. Gosh darnit, now even Xavier won't talk to me. Ah who cares, I don't need them, they're just backstabbing jerks. 

I kept telling myself I didn't need those guys, they were just backstabbing assholes, and Joe was probably fucking some other guy already, and Xavier and friends probably forgot my name by now. I decided it was just time to move on, shit happens, you know? I spent those days with the family. We went to the beach, chaos happened. I wanted to walk on some fitness trail with my sister, we return to the picnic area after four hours and my parents blow a fuse. So, plan A: spend time with the family failed. I thought I should go hang out with other friends who lived in the neighborhood. I called one of my friends, Gianlucca, "What's up Tony?" 
"Hey, Lucca, how's it goin' man?" I greeted him.
"Fine, how's the summer?" He queried. 
"Boring, you wanna go down to the school and shoot around?" I hoped for an 'yes'.
"Yeah man, come on down, the whole gang is here," Gianlucca told me. 
I stopped, "uhh... who exactly."
"Me, Mark, Jared, Joe, Keith, Ina, and Adrienne," he answered.
"Aw man, I'm sorry bro, I can't make it after all, my mom wants me to pick my cousin up from summer school," I lied... again. 
"Shit man, I'm sorry, we'll hang out later 'kay?" he offered. 
"Yeah, definitely."
"Peace out bro."
"Talk to you later Gian." I hung up. 
Damnit! Joe got to him first, now what the fuck am I gonna do? I was in a dilemma for sure. 

That night I went outside on the roof. In my neighborhood, the houses are designed with gradual roofs, perfect to lie down on. I walked outside my window and walked over to the garage roof and lied down on it. I looked up into the sky and stared at the stars as they slowly began to appear. I tried not to think about Joe, I tried to separate my thoughts from him, but something about stars really got to me. whenever I stared into the stars my romance level would rise. I loved laying out in front of them, their natural light pulls me in a deep trance where I can't resist thinking about my love life. Perhaps that's why I couldn't resist Xavier...

As time passed by, the lights in the neighborhood dimmed and the stars became more clear. I could spot one of the dippers, the only constellation I could recognize aside from Orion's Belt. As the stars appeared visual to me, I couldn't help but think romance. I thought about last Friday, one week ago, where I was sitting underneath the stars, and romance was right next to me. I was feeling horny beyond my beliefs and I was easily persuaded by Xavier. I didn't even think about what I was doing, it was like I was under the sky's trance. Not to mention the previous Wednesday, when I was in the car with Xavier and starlight was shining down on us, and I had never seen someone so attractive in my life. I never thought someone could be so irresistible, but for some reason, I wasn't feeling with way about him when I was in the house, I saw him just like I was Julio, a really cute guy that I would love to jump on and wrestle around. That was when I realized what a grave mistake I had made. I thought back to the fourth grade when Joe first arrived in Elementary school, then in Middle school when we played the Wright Brothers in a school play, then in High School when we used to swap answers in math by slipping the graphing calculators that could type letters underneath the dividers, and then... I thought to our graduation night, when we left the party early and we went to his empty house and had sex for the first time. I couldn't believe it, after how much I would lust for him, how much I'd pray to have him, I finally got my wish after countless years and then... I blew it. I blew my relationship with Joe because I saw someone who I thought that I could love more, but no, I was wrong. There's only room in my heart for one man, and that was Joey. However, that one man was gone, and not only did I lie to him, cheat on him, and stand him up, but I also tried to justify what I did on Wednesday night even though I knew that he was right and I was wrong. He was my best friend and my boyfriend, and now he's just my neighbor. 

I sat up and I was free from that trance of the stars. It was all very clear to me now, I lost that one man I desired to have for years, and when I got him, I couldn't hold on to him for longer than a month, pathetic. I got up and walked into my room and thought about the fight Joe and I had, how much I must have hurt him when he was just trying to get answers out of me. I was practically throwing my relationship away. After laying awake in my bed for three hours, I drifted off into sleep. 

The next few days were pretty much the same, try to find someone to hang out with, and eventually, I'd end up alone. Damn, what the Hell? Was Joe really the only part of my social life? Even though I knew that I could find someone, I just didn't feel like going out. It's just not the same without Joe. I knew I had to see him, I had to look at him one more time. I walked over to my closet and pulled out a small but thick photo album, pictures from high school. Most of them were pictures of Joe and I on last days of school, field trips, and sports events. Boy did I give up something really special. I knew that if I didn't try to solve this conflict, it'd be something I'd regret for the rest of my life. The day of my high school reunion would come back in the decorated atrium of my old school, I'd see Joe with some rough trick, all happy and successful, and I'd be with my 10th boyfriend, probably making up lies about my success. No, fuck no, I'd never let that happen, but sadly, I had too much pride to just come knocking on his door and beg for forgiveness. Joe and I had a lot of memories at the Hamburger place, hopefully he'd return there next Wednesday, God I hoped he did. 

******

That next Wednesday, I stared at the clock as the 7:59 changed to 8:00. I got up and ran upstairs. I pulled out a pair of dark blue jeans with a high chain, a dark camo t-shirt with a tight black thermal shirt underneath. I wore my favorite chain left behind my my grandpa, slicked the hair, wore some sexy cologne, stuck my wallet and cell phone in my pocket, and was ready to go. Something caught my glimpse by my bed before I left. I walked over to my nightstand and saw Joe's bracelet with the Christian pictures on the beads. I decided to wear that too. I turned off the light and walked out my door. I made my way down stairs and walked out my house. I began my walk to the Hamburger place. 

It was actually down the street and the first store on the left, right at the intersection. After a ten minute walk, I saw the Hamburger place. The small white building labeled with the word "Hamburger" above the entrance. I took a deep breath and walked in the entrance. I looked around the place and saw only about five people in the place, excluding Joe. With sadness and disappointment covering my face, I made my way to the counter and placed an order, one hamburger, fries, and a sprite. I sat down in a swivel chair at the end of the counter far away from the cash register. I rested my head in my hand. That's it, no more Joe, he's not coming after all. The waitress placed my meal on the counter, "Tony, your food is ready." 
"Thanks Suzy," I told her.
"Anytime sweetheart," she replied, "say, where's Joey? This is the first time I've seen you come in here alone."
"I'm not sure, I came here by myself," I told her with an obvious look of depression on my face. 
"Oh don't worry honey, If I know Joey, he'll be here soon," she assured me. 
'I sure hope so,' I thought. 

After five minutes, I was eating so slowly, zoning out with thoughts of Joe, that I had only finished a quarter of my meal. That was when, a gift from God appeared, I saw from the corner of my eye, Joe walked in through the doors! I was so excited I nearly fell over. Just watching him walk to the register like a model turned me on. I could barely contain myself. I tried not to act so excited, so I played it casual but watched him make his order. After a couple seconds, he finished making his order, and then... he turn his back to me and walked to the far corner of the store. I was devastated. 'Wow, it... really is over between us,' I thought. I felt a tear forming in my eye and quickly wiped it away before anyone could notice. 

After two minutes of pure depression and suffering, Joe's order was ready. Suzy called him over and he walked up to get his food. After he picked up his food, I could see from the corner of my eye that he was walking towards me! My heart was beating so fast I was scared someone could hear it! I was too happy to contain myself! He finally approached me and I looked up to him as he stood next to me. 

He began and ended our conversation by saying, "can I have my bracelet back?" And that hit me like a bolt of lightning. It's like he took a hammer and shattered my heart. I was so stunned, the look on my face was pure devastation, I couldn't believe this was happening. He didn't walk up to me to talk at all, he came to demand his bracelet. I slowly removed the bracelet from my wrist and slowly handed it to him. He grasped the last piece of Joe that I had, took it from my hand, and walked away. I sat there, holding back tears, as I got up and left my meal where it was. There were too many memories in the building, so I walked out and made my way around the building to the back where the trash cans were.

I held my mouth trying not to make a sound, but I could tell my face was red and I could feel moisture in my eyelid. I leaned my back against that wall and kept repeating to myself, "why, why, why did I have to do that, why was I so selfish and inconsiderate, God please let me go back in time, that's all I want," but it was too late, it was the present and I couldn't go back. The strangest thing crossed my mind, I thought back to a famous question I was asked on a survey, 'would you rather have the ability to change a major regret, or a million dollars?' and I always thought that was the stupidest question I had ever heard, but at that moment, I would give up all my belongings to change my biggest regret. I looked around myself, to the far right, there were windows, and that was where Joe's table was, in front of the building was the intersection, but behind it, the roads and my street was covered with trees. I didn't want Joe to see me, so I walked behind the trees to my left, holding in my tears.