The New Guy

“Hi.” Michael said charmingly.
“I just knew I had to change my locks.” I said as I shut the door. “Please give me your keys, right now.”
I moved to him with my hand held out.

“I think I’ll hang on to them for a while longer.” He said with a grin. “You’ve been busy while I’ve been gone, I see.”
“What do you want?” I asked harshly. His charm no longer worked on me as I had exorcised him from my mind and my heart some time ago.
“Just to say ‘hi’!” He said with another smile.

“Hi!” I said. “Now get out! I’m expecting someone.”

I went to the door and opened it. He stood and ambled up to me.
“You know, I still think we should be together.” He smirked. “We made such a great couple, didn’t we, Lisa.”
Lisa glared at him.

“No you didn’t.” She said. “You’re an ass Michael, so why don’t you just leave Sebastian alone.”
“Still the bitch, I see.” He said. “But then that is so typical of all fag-hags, isn’t it?”
“Fuck off, Michael.” Lisa said succinctly.

“Yes.” I said, still holding the door for him. “Fuck off and don’t come back. I’m changing the locks first thing in the morning.”
“Alright, I’m going.” He said, his hands up in surrender. He moved out the door and I started to close it but he stopped it with an outstretched hand.
“By the way.” He said with a smile. “Some rather good looking guy came looking for you . . what was his name? Justin . . or Jughead . . something like that. I told him you weren’t here and he left.”

I froze because I had a strong feeling that there was more to it than Michael was admitting.
“What else did you tell him?” I asked carefully. “And his name’s Julian.”
“Whatever.” He said. “I told him that he was wasting his time with you.”

I began to feel cold all over. This was so typical of Michael. If he couldn’t have something, he spoiled it or everyone else.
“And what else came out of that evil mouth of yours?” I asked, my mind beginning to work overtime.
“Well, he asked me why and I told him that you and I were planning a little reunion; you know, a ‘get back together again’ reunion.” He said with another smirk.

I stood there numb, frozen to the floor. Lisa gasped and flew at him.
“You unforgiveable bastard.” She yelled. “You son-of-a-bitch!”
Her hands went to his face but he caught her wrists in a strong grip.

“Claws in, cat!” He hissed. He shoved her backwards and she collided with me and we both stumbled back into the room. Michael waved sweetly at us.
“‘Bye ‘bye now, have fun!” He grinned and then he closed the door and was gone.
Lisa and I regained our balance and I stared into her wide eyes speechlessly.

“You’ve got to go and find Julian and tell him the truth.” She whispered breathlessly. “Now!”
“Oh God, I know.” I said suddenly panic stricken at the thought that I might never see him again.

*** Despair and Understanding.

I tore down the street towards Julian’s apartment building, closely followed by Lisa. I had asked her to come with me to back me up because I was sure that Julian would not believe what I had to tell him.
Within minutes we arrived at the glass and concrete high-rise that Julian lived in. I stopped at the intercom breathless and quickly found his name and pressed the call button.

Nothing happened. I pressed it again and still there was no answer.

I turned to Lisa, who was standing behind me, an anxious look on her face.
“There’s no answer.” I said, traces of panic in my voice.
“Try again.”

I pressed the button again and waited, hopping from one foot to another. Still there was no answer.
I turned back to Lisa.
“Oh God!” I breathed. “He’s not at home.”

I ran down to the street and looked up and down it in the hopes of seeing his tall figure approaching. Nothing! I sat on the curb and put my head in my hands. Lisa sat beside me and put her arm around me.
“It’s okay.” She said softly. “We’ll wait here for him. He’s sure to come along soon.”

We sat in silence for a while. I kept watch on the street in either direction, hoping, praying.
“What am I to do?” I asked Lisa softly.
“Just explain the situation to him and I’m sure he’ll understand.” She said.
“Yes, I know.” I said. “But what if he doesn’t understand? What if he doesn’t want to be with me anymore?”

“Well.” Lisa said carefully. “Then I guess you’ll just have to move on.”
“Lisie.” I began. “You don’t understand. I want to be with him, I realize that now.”
She kept silent.

“That moment when Michael told me what he’d said to Julian, my heart sank and part of me died. I think it came home to me then.”
“What?” She asked. “That you might be in love with him?”
I nodded.

“Finally!” She breathed. “You don’t realize it, but I think you’ve been in love with him all along. I mean, I saw how taken you were with him even when you pretended to hate him. You couldn’t keep away from him, could you?”
I shook my head slowly. She was right. He had fascinated me from the start and I had been in denial.
“What am I going to do?” I asked again.

“Don’t worry, sweetie.” She said soothingly. “Things will work out, I promise.”
And so we waited. I admired Lisa’s patience and I was grateful to her for staying with me. The street lamps came on and after two hours of sitting on the hard curb, Julian had still not shown up. Finally, I decided that enough was enough and I pulled Lisa to her feet and told her to go home.

“But we should wait a while longer.” She said.
“No.” I answered. “Go home Lisie, I’m going home as well. I’ll come and see him in the morning.”
“Okay.” She said. “I’ll meet you here at about eight-thirty, how’s that?”
“Thanks.”

“Goodnight honey.” She said and kissed me on the cheek. I watched her walk off down the street and when she was out of sight, I went up to the front entrance of Julian’s building. I pressed the bell and again there was no answer.
I sat on the bench next to the path and decided to wait a while longer. I looked down at the bench and then snorted with laughter. Fools! Lisa and I could have sat here comfortably for two hours instead of on the hard curb, but I guess neither of us was thinking straight at the time.
And so I waited.

Later, much later I was roused by a hand shaking my shoulder.
“Wake up, Sebastian.” A voice said harshly.

I opened my eyes and looked up. It was Julian. He stepped back and shoved his hands into his pockets. I jumped up and faced him.
“Oh thank God.” I said. “I need to talk to you.”
“Go home, Sebastian.” He said and looked away. “We’re done talking.”

He turned and walked up to the entrance of his building. I ran after him.
“Wait!” I almost shouted. “Please, let me explain.”
“There’s nothing to explain. You took me for a fool, period.” He said as he put his key in the lock. “I’ll see you at work on Monday.”
“No wait please, you’re wrong!”

He unlocked the door and went inside.
“Goodnight.” He closed the door and disappeared up the stairs. I stood there, numb. Now I was sure that whatever might have developed between us was gone forever.

*** Going Nowhere Fast!

Sunday dawned bright and sunny but I never noticed. I hadn’t slept at all and without looking in the mirror, I knew that I had dark blue rings under my eyes.
Just before eight-thirty, I quickly walked the block to Julian’s building. Lisa was sitting on the bench waiting for me.

“We sat on that hard curb for two hours. Two hours!” She remarked. “Why the hell didn’t we wait here?”
“Stupid, huh?” I said with a small smile.
“You look terrible, sweetie.” She said.
“I know.” I replied. “No sleep.”

“Don’t worry honey, we’ll have it all sorted in a jiffy.”
We went up to the entrance and I pressed the button next to Julian’s name and waited expectantly. Nothing happened. I looked at Lisa puzzled.
“Surely he must be home at this time on a Sunday morning?” I remarked. She shrugged and indicated for me to try again. Still there was no answer.

“We can try again later.” She said.
We walked back to my apartment slowly.
“I saw him last night, you know.” I said.
“You did?” She replied surprised. “When?”

“After you’d gone.” I said. “I waited on the bench and I fell asleep. He woke me up.”
“So what happened?”
“He didn’t want to talk to me.” I said sadly. “He woke me up and told me to go home and then he went into the building. He didn’t give me a chance to explain.”

She kept silent and I knew what she was thinking. Julian was obviously done with me and it was hopeless now.
We went back to his building four more times during the course of the day and the response to my frantic ringing was the same every time. Nothing. Lisa was good enough to keep me company throughout that long miserable day.
Finally, I called it a day and Lisa went home.

“You’ll see him tomorrow in the office.” She remarked as she was leaving. “Maybe you’ll have a chance to talk to him then.”
“Oh God, I hope so.” I said despairingly. But I knew now that I had blown it and time had now distanced us, albeit only a couple of days.

I walked into the office on Monday morning with a small spark of hope in my heart. I knew that at some point during the course of the day, I would take the opportunity to speak to Julian alone. He avoided me during the morning and when he did have contact with me, it was in the company of one of the others and he treated me with icy reserve. The chance to talk to him alone came just before lunch time. Julian was in his office alone and I quickly left my drawing board and went in to him. I closed the door behind me as he looked up from the work on his desk.

“Leave it open, please.” He said coldly.
“I really need to speak to you.” I said quickly “Alone.”
“Sorry, but it’ll have to wait.” He said and stood up. “I have a lunch date and I’m going to be late.”
He brushed past me and out of the office. He did not come back again that afternoon.

The week went by without a single opportunity for me to get him alone. Even Lisa tried to corner him a few times but he managed to avoid both of us.
Every evening I went to his apartment building and rang his bell but he never answered. Whether he was home or not, I had no idea.
Finally, late on Friday afternoon, just before closing time, I managed to get him alone in his office again. I closed the door behind me and blocked it with my body. He looked up at me and frowned.

“You don’t have to say anything.” I said quickly. “Please, all I ask is that you listen to what I have to say and then I’ll leave.”
He slumped in his chair silent, his eyes on the desk in front of him.

“I just want to say that what Michael told you was a lie. He is spiteful and resents me for breaking up with him and what he did was his way of getting back at me. It was over between us about eight months ago and I have no intention of ever going back to him and he knows that. He refuses to return my keys and that is how he came to be in my apartment. It’s entirely my fault, I should have changed the locks when he moved out.” I said.

I took a deep breath and continued.

“Over this last week, I’ve come to realize that what you and I might have had together could have been wonderful, but I can understand it if you don’t want to have anything to do with me anymore. You think that I deceived you; that I lied to you and . . used you. You think that I might have done these things with the knowledge that I was going back to Michael. Well, that’s not true. What happened between you and I that night was . . truly amazing . . the most incredible night I’ve ever experienced and I would never have let it happen if I was with someone else. My deepest regret is that I’ll never know how good we could have been together. I’m also deeply sorry that you no longer want . . to see me.”

I stopped, hoping he’d say something in return but he kept silent, his eyes still on the desk in front of him.

“Lisa tells me that she’s convinced that you . . have strong feelings for me, that you might be in . . !” I said softly and paused, forcing my tears back. “That night, you asked me if I could . . fall in love with you . . ! Well, when I heard what Michael had said to you, my first thought was that I’d never see you again . . that I’d lost you and I panicked. That’s when I realized that I had fallen . . that I was in love with you and that I’ve felt that way from the start, even when I thought you . . !”

I stopped again, a lump in my throat. Tears started to roll down my cheeks slowly. I was grateful that he was looking down at his desk and not at me. His silence was making it very difficult for me. I drew another shaky breath.
“I was a blind fool because I just didn’t realize it until then.” I finished lamely.
Again I stopped and waited. Again there was no response.

“One last thing.” I said, my voice catching in my throat. “To quote you; ‘you never even bothered to ask me’! You just assumed that what Michael told you was the truth.
Again, silence.

“Well.” I said softly, my voice shaking and my heart breaking. “That’s all I wanted to say; take it as you like. Thank you for listening.”
I turned and opened the door.

“I’m so sorry.” I whispered and walked out of his office and out of the building with tears streaming down my face.

At home, I slumped into the couch and sat staring into space. He was lost to me now, I realized. In his office, he hadn’t even looked up at me, not once. He must have been hurting pretty bad. I was already missing something that hadn’t even begun properly and the tears continued to flow slowly down my cheeks.

There was a soft knock at my door and I got up wearily and opened it, quickly brushing my cheeks clean of unwanted teardrops.
“I forgot my key.” Lisa said.

“I’ve lost him Lisie.” I said with a break in my voice. “I told him the truth but somehow I knew that it was useless. He didn’t even look at me and I don’t think he believed me. He thinks I made a fool of him, deceived him. God, he must hate me so much.” I turned away and went back to the couch and flopped down. “I’ve lost him Lisie, and I never even had him to begin with.” Lisa stepped inside and smiled.

“Au contraire, mon ami!” She said. “I wouldn’t give up yet, if I were you.”
I looked up at her. She was fidgeting with suppressed excitement.
“What?” I asked. “What do you mean?”

“Well, you should know that I was able to have a little chat with him too.” She smiled. “Let’s just say that the air, generally, became a lot clearer.”
She stepped aside and Julian moved into view.
“Surprise!” Lisa said gleefully.

I stood up slowly as he stepped into my apartment. Lisa came to me and took my hand.
“Good luck.” She whispered, kissed me on the cheek and left, closing the door quietly behind her.

Julian stood, his hands in his pockets and looked at me carefully. I kept silent; I had said all that I’d needed to say.
“How are you doing, Bastian?” He asked softly.

I shrugged but kept silent. I was all talked out.
“You’ve been crying,” He said with a small frown and stepped closer to me.

I nodded slowly. What was the point of denying it when he could see the evidence on my cheeks.

“Tell me one thing.” He began. “Did you mean what you said in my office just now?”
“Yes.” I whispered. “Every word.”
“Every word?” He asked. “Even the bit about being in love . . ?”

Again, I nodded slowly. We stared at one another for what seemed like hours and then he stepped forward and caught me up in his arms. My heart flooded with relief as I held on to him tightly. He bent his head and kissed me quickly.

“Let me just say that I’m sorry that I never asked you about what happened and I’m sorry that I never gave you a chance to clear things up.” He whispered as he hugged me close, his arms tight about me. “I should have trusted you and not that jack-ass.”
“I need you, Bastian.” He whispered. “I need you and I want you in my life.”

“And I you.” I replied. He drew away from me and his wonderful red-brown eyes found mine. He smiled slowly and nodded.
“Good.” He said softly. “But there is one more thing that we need to clear up!”
“What?” I asked.

“It’s the plates or me.” He said with a grin.
“Lisa?” I asked and he nodded. “She has a thing about that plate collection.”
“Well?” He asked, his eyebrows raised.

I didn’t even have to think about it.
“The plates go!” I said.