The Sorcerer

The Sorcerer and the Priest : PART I

Few months ago I went to visit my community. I don’t live there anymore; Dad took me to live in a farm where he is taking care of the greenhouse.

Dad put me to work in the greenhouse; he said that since I didn’t want to study I had to work because I was already a grown up guy nearly eighteen. To be honest I didn’t want to study, didn’t like that job or any other job, I liked dancing and singing which is what I am used to do.

Few after I arrived to the house of my father I met a small group of guys and girls who eventually become my friends. I found them doing graffiti on a wall close to the river.

They didn’t trust me at first but after I stayed admiring what they did they talked to me.

I liked them and we had fun. The reason why I liked them was because they had a secret. It was very cool, the secret was on how to tell something with colors, it’s what our brotherhood was all about.

I experienced an initiation. First step was telling about us. It was to at night, they told me about them and I told them about me.

Everybody brought something to drink and to smoke but I didn’t because dad didn’t have anything like that at home.

I am supposed not to drink or smoke because it’s forbidden by dad, but it was a moment of liberation.

Things they said were interesting. My turn arrived and what I said come deeply from my hart.

“I have never said this to anyone but I have this feeling since long ago that I like guys more than girls”. I said.

They started laughing, “big deal, you are gay, I’ll let you suck me any time Cobo”, one of them said. They laugh, as if what was something funny.

I understood that what I said was commonplace, it was like anything, just caused fun and no impression or what so ever. On the other hand, my secret was the most important thing in my mind and I was happy that I said it.

One said to me, “This is the deal, we make drawings on the walls about what we are so now you will say what you just said to us, you can do it in your own style, maybe no one will ever understand”.

I liked that because I saw so many possibilities and soon handled to do my first piece of art. I Drew two blue hummingbirds hovering in the air and kissing each other.

It wasn’t fortunate. I never imagined the reaction of the neighbors. In addition, I wasn’t aware that my friends were very well known in town for such activities, and a new artist insinuating the existence of gay birds wasn’t welcomed. The owners of the property that I enhance were especially not amused.

A few neighbors went directly visit to my dad. Dad was listening carefully, not showing any expression in his face. I tried to guess what was in his mind and looked to that people talking and talking, telling things much worst of what I actually did.

Dad’s face turned from expressionless to something else. To me his face turned blue as the color of my birds. But I wasn’t a nice blue color and it was now very expressive when he looked at me.

I am not sure if I went more terrified when I saw his face, and when saw dad taking off his belt or when he actually spanked me in front of those people just at the entrance of our home.

He did it with violence, as if it had been his own house what was damaged.

He didn’t care that I was just few weeks away to become an adult man when he did what he did to me.

The community where I grew up was kind of conservative, but never as neighbors of this town where moved.

Dad didn’t belong to my community but the marks of his belt on my butt and my legs stayed on my skin for several days, a total confirmation that he was as strict and conservative as anyone in town.

I got to mention that I fixed the wall.

Dad’s home was small but bigger than grand pa’s truck in which I used to live. After I moved with pa I never stopped visiting grand pa but this time I went to the my community because I had a special festivity.

It is a tradition called ¨People of autumn”, and it was the time for me to be one among them.

The ceremony is for those who reached the age of eighteen. This year we were three males and four girls to be celebrated.

After the ceremony men had dinner in one side of the room and women had dinner on the other side but when we danced we danced all together and grand pa was one among others who played the violin.

Grand pa is one of the founders of my community but he is not as narrow minded as many, he is to me quite beyond that kind of things.

I am half blood. Ma belongs to my community and pa doesn’t. That was the whole trouble and it is why I didn’t grow up with my parents in first place.

Pa wasn’t accepted among people of my community and Ma was sent to other community. I grew up with no parents and grand pa and Aunt Beth took care of me.

Grand pa and aunt Beth taught me how to dance since I was five years old. Later, when they found that I was good at it they made me practice harder.

Aunt Beth can read the future, cards, hands, and she makes perfumes for good luck or love. On the other hand grand pa knows how to work with metal, he plays the violin and taught me how to dance.

People used to say that I am easy going and that I am never worried about anything but it isn’t true.

I haven’t tell this to many but something is wrong with me. I have always felt a presence that I don’t know what it is and sometimes wake up in panic because it comes to my dreams and I don’t want to see it.

For people out of the community this kind of signs are non-senses, but for us in my community are real and we know they are true.

I have always known that there are bad spirits and good spirits but everybody needs it’s own magic to stay steady.

My magic is singing and dancing. By doing that I am save. I also have an amulet made with palm that Aunt Beth gave me long time ago.

Next day after my ceremony I said to grand pa that I wanted to talk with him.

Since I was already brave to talk to my friends about my possible homosexuality and make a piece of art, why not telling to the one that I most trusted, so I told to grand pa that I thought that I was gay.

“Why you say that”, grand pa asked. “Because I know grand pa, it’s just as it is, no other reason but that”, I said.

Grand pa put his hands together and then he smiled at me and said, “I have always known Cobito”.

“You?...why you never told me?”, I asked.

“When you don’t know about yourself how could I tell you about yourself, but I know that you are now one people of autumn and you can go anywhere and be what ever you want to be.”

“Right”, I said.

You don't need to ask permission to me or to your father, maybe you could join a group of dance instead a group of graffiti, I already knew about your latest troubles je, je je”. And he laughs as if the news about the thrashing that I got could be anything funny.

I said that I would travel to the north, found a job and buy a truck, and I would return as a strong man and dad would never dare telling me again what to do or not.

Aunt Beth agreed and told me to go and see the sorcerer to ask for protection and get the bad energy out of me so I could travel safe.

And so I did, the name of the sorcerer was Paulino, he was the most powerful sorcerer in the community and many were afraid of him.

In my community we know different kind of sorcerers, we don't like those who do bad things to people, if they do they are sent away and they move anywhere but stay close to the community.

Paulino was one living in the community, not considered black but a little in the edge. In any case, he was known for being very effective.

I told him nearly everything I knew about myself while he was drinking tequila. I also told him that I planed to travel and live in other city.

I am not sure if maybe I took long telling him all about me because when I finished telling him Paulino had already emptied the bottle.

“Is that it?”, he asked.

“Yes, that’s it”. I said.

He kept looking at me as if he could read my mind. I felt goosebumps right away.

“Take of your clothes and lay on the table”, he said.

The table was a piece of stone with a bunch of palm leaves that made it not too hard to lie there.

I did what he said and he put four candles, burned a stick of wood and started passing the palm of his left hand throughout my whole body as well as his other hand that was holding an egg.

Maybe I was tired because off the party or maybe the stick that was burning had something special. I just know that I went sleep.

I was there but I didn’t noticed that I was dreaming, it was nothing different from being awake.

Something was causing hit, I realized that it was my own body. I felt the strength of a wind and the candles went off. In a second the warmth of my body became cold and the light went off. I met a presence of something creepy, I most say that it has never gone out of my life since then.

Something not entirely visible because it’s dark clothes and absence of flesh.

I know that it is impossible to see something dark in the middle of the darkness but the tunic was darker than anything else.

Its flesh was invisible; no face no body, immaterial and capable to touch me. I could just guess where arms and face should be but they weren’t there.

My body went warm again; it was a very uncomfortable feeling, as when the dentist puts a injection in my mouth and it feels like the needle is disgustingly in, but this was in my ass I wanted to move my body to reject that but I couldn't move. That creepy thing was doing something in my ass.

I started crying, many spirits arrived with this thing embracing me.

The entity was swallowing me, I wanted to vomit and tried to swim out of its jaws, there appeared colors instead of darkness, the colors of those birds that I drew on the wall, my body started shaking and then I woke up. I found myself lying face down holding the leaves of palm in my hands, I quickly incorporate myself sitting on the table and stopping the ritual before it had actually finished.

Paulino turned on the light. I was breathing as if I had been running for hours.

The piece of stone was dirty. "What's this?", I said. "you shit when you were in trance", he said.

"Oh no", I said, it was totally embarrassing.

Watch this”, he said. He broke the egg and the content was rotten.

Paulino said that everything inside me was rotten, and usually happens to those who dance and sing and wake up wet and sticky, but now I was clean.

I felt my body just as he said, wet and sticky. I used to wake up wet and sticky when I was much younger, it had never happened again since then.

I went on my feet and went into the bathroom. Paulino emptied buckets of water on my body, my ass felt numb, my body lighter, my jaws were sore, and cold water made everything better.

I put on my clothes and asked him if the bad energy had already gone, I also told him about my dream and how I felt my body.

He kept thinking and said, “you will find that spirit again, you need to see it to get rid of it. It has been chasing you since before but you didn't know. Now you met him, from now on you can negotiate with him”.

“Negotiate what?”, I said.

“Yes, negotiate other wise, it will kill you”.

“Oh thanks Paulino, you make me feel so positive”, I said.

Since then I started feeling this fear to something unknown. It always happens when there’s no one close.

Grand pa told me that he would gave me a melody and a song that was an enchantment very effective to fight that bad presence that, according to Paulino, had already found me and would never leave me alone in peace till I was brave to see it face to face.

Grand pa is not a sorcerer, but he knows many enchantments that learned many years ago. He made me repeat a song several times. In actual days I keep singing this song just in case.

This boy is no evil
This boy is powerful
Sings to the moon a runa
And the boy becomes a faun.

This faun is not evil
This faun is powerful
Sings to the sun in praise
And this faun grows while dance

I sing and dance with a runa
I sing and dance in praise
That the spirit that haunts me
Appear before this faun

When Grand pa told me this song I said that I definitely didn’t want this presence to appear before me.

And Grand pa said that I needed to see in order to make it totally disappear. In any case, the song was enough powerful to keep me safe, even if I was not ready to see the entity.

When I went back with pa he didn't want me in his room. I had to stay in my room.

Besides, he hated everything that Grand pa taught me. He used to say that those stories are bullshit. But I have probe that pa was wrong.

Then pa started complaining because I had to sing to feel myself save because I had to do it till I went sleep.

Eventually I learned to sing like whispering and still pa kept complaining.

That night when I was back in dad’s home and I was singing slowly, I touched my anus; it was bothering me in a strange way. I wondered if the entity could had done something to me of that kind. On the other hand a dream might be the land where the spirit was stronger. I didn’t want to think that the dark spirit fucked me, and I didn’t want to think that it could find me and do it again.

I had the enchantment, I had my dance and my voice, and I couldn’t stay with dad. I had to leave and probably face the black entity again. But I would be ready.

Traveling alone was my challenge. In any case pa wasn’t great company.

Being eighteen already and one who was people of autumn made symbolic that the faun was ready to fight.

Traveling alone was something I had to do after the ceremony of autumn. Besides I wanted to earn money to buy a truck and return to my community to live there forever.

This self story will continue.

This story has tow more chapters to come

PART II (The Congregation of light)

PART III (The Priest)