The Story of David and Matt

When David & Matthew first met, both teensagers had recently been separated from thier best friends. Matthew lost his best friend Ricky when they boys mother and father divorced. They sold the house five doors down from Matthew's house, the house where Matther and Ricky had recently come to acknowledge the feelings that they had for each other. It was more then just friendship. The house was soon sold and on the very last day of school, Ricky and his mother left for Chicago. After living in California his entire life, just down the street from his best buddy and first love, the boys said goodbye to each other, and just like that Ricky was gone. 

At around the same time on the other side of the country David was in the final stages of losing his lifelong friend, and first love Joshua. Except, it was David who was moving away form the treelined street in Minneapolis where he and Josh lived. They to had recently discovered that their friendship was so much more then that. David's father has been offered and has accepted a dream job out west. In Sunny California to be exact. On the last day of school David sat in the back seat of the family car and watched everyting that he knew and loved get smaller and smaller as we watched through the car window.

David and Josh had decided to say their goodbye's that night before. The made love in Joshua's bedroom until the sun came up. The both knew that they had to say goodbye as they did, and not at the curb as David's family pulled away. It would be way to painful not to mention revieling to do it in front of their familys. Joshua promised to stay in his room until they where gone. But love doesn't always allow to keep such promises, and Josh could help himself and came charging out of the house as Davids father drove by. David tried not to look back, but how could he not knowing that Josh was back there standing in the middle of the road. David told himself several times. "Don't look! Don't do it!" but it was not possible. He looked and saw his Joshua lying in the road next to his driveway. His arms pounding the asphault.

David tried so hard to hold it in. He was the only one in the car who knew the real magnitude of the loss. He even tried to cry quietly, but the cries soon turned into a horrific wailing that could not be consoled. David's screams had the whole family crying, even his father. Sleep was the only thing that stopped the crying and sobbing. About a hundred miles down the highway, David’s little sister made an innocent comment to her mother that will never be forgotten. It will become her defining moment as a mother.

The little sister how's still too young to pronounce certain words, when the tiny girl tries to say the word [brother] it cames out sounding like the word [butter]

“Look mommy! Butter is smiling.” The child says. 

David's mother turned and looked into the back seat. She expected to find her son in better spirits. She wanted to see his smiling face and tell him how much she loved him. What she saw was a boy that she could hardly recognized. He was sound asleep, unconscious actually. His eyelids swollen from crying. The only thing that was recognizable was a slight smile that let her know that her boy was far away and dreaming.

David’s mother started to see things that she never noticed before. Things that had been there all of the time, but went un-noticed. This uncontrollable sorrow was deep and the loss was more then friendship, it had to be love. She thought.

David’s mother couldn’t take her eyes away from her son. She looks at her son and feels guilty because he looks like someone elses child. She had always told him that he could tell her anything. As he was growing up she warned him about the pitfalls of youth. Smoking, drugs, alcohol, sex, girls. She remembered a comment that David made when the subject of sex and girls came up. "You don't have to worry about that mom, trust me!" David said. She assumed that to meant that girls didn't interest him yet. But now it so very clear and Joshua has to be the loss that he cries for.

“My son has fallen in love. I didn’t even see it How could he think that I wouldn't love any person who loved him back?” She thought.

David’s little sister whispered softy again. “I think he’s dreaming mommy.” And then she puts her tiny finger across her lips and makes the "Shhhh" sound so that nobody wakes up her big brother. She's only 4-years old but still she did her best to comfort her big brother. When David was screaming and wailing earlier, it frightened her so much. She has never seen or heard anything like that coming from her brother. She yelled out from the back seat. 

"Help! Mommy - Mommy! butter is hurt. - What’s wrong butter? - Don’t cry, Please?” 

She even tried to place her tiny hand over David's mouth. As if quieting the sound would stop the pain. “Shhhh I still love you butter.” She cried. David finally reached that point of emotional agony where his mouth hangs open, but no more sound comes out. He starts to choke and cough. He gets his head out of the window just in time to paint the side of the car with vomit.
At he first stop for gasoline, it was inevitable that he would will wake up. He was quiet and immediately scrambled to get the headphones from his CD player and place then over his ears. 

When anyone motioned that they wanted to say something to David, he simply shook his head and raises his hand. Then he'd move it back and forth in a sweeping motion, as if to say go away, leave me alone! While everyone went to the restroom, David's mother sat in the car and watched her son as he sat on a curb by the pay phones. He was rocking back and forth with his eyes closed. Both of his hands are covering his ears as if he needs more music, less outside world. He starts to wipe his eyes. His mom can tell, even from that distance, that his crying has returned. She is so angry with herself. 

“What kind of mother am I?” She is playing back her fondest memories of David and Josh as they we’re growing up. Now everything is so clear and you’d have to be blind to not see the love between them. The worried mother is startled when David jumps up and looks around. He looks like he’s about to take off running down the highway, or worse, into traffic. He leans over a trashcan and begins to vomit again. She jumps out of the car and runs to him. All she can do is be there, rub his back like when he was a child sick with the flu. She knew that saying nothing at all was better then something like: “I can only imagine how you must feel” 

David stops and spits a few times and then stands up. “Are you okay honey?” is all that David's mother can say. David turned and looked his mother. 

“Nope…I'm not okay mom! - You get dad to back that car over me - I’ll be just fine.” 

David just turned around and sauntered into the men’s room. Now his mother terrified. She knows that she is going to have to tell her husband about what she suspects. She’s so torn with different emotions. The one that is the most powerful is one that only a mother can feel. She wants to do what she should have done before this. Everything inside of her wants to say:

“Fuck California! -- Fuck the new house! -- Fuck her husband’s dream job.” 

She just wants to take her son by the hand and start running. Just go back, even if they have to crawl. To her, David was like a fish out of water and he was dying . She cannot stand to see him so such pain . She would gladly march him right up to that Joshua's front door and beg him to make David better. 

"Here! Do something! - Kiss him! - Make him better - Please! Just give me back my son!"

But the realities of a sold house and a new one 1,500 miles away make it impossible to think of anything but going forward. For better or worse, they had to continue. She could only hope that with each mile there would equal less pain. Already the David's mother begins to pray that he’ll find new friends. And yes!-, she’ll even pray that he’ll find a new love. 

“He’s my son and I love him. -- I will always love him no matter what!”

Fate can sometimes be a bitch. But every once in a while, irony will get mixed in and amazing thing’s can and do happen. For instance: 

David’s family has only seen photographs of their new home in California. A package arrived months ago in Minneapolis with information about their new home. Along with the photos came a few maps of the surrounding area. The maps pinpointed the schools, shopping centers, city parks, and other points of interest. What wasn't in the information was that fact that just 5 doors down from David's new house was a boy named Matthew. David feels as if nobody could ever understand the hurt and pain he feels over losing Josh. 

He has no idea that Matthew has broken into the empty house that David's family will soon move into. David has no idea that in the empty bedroom that will become his, Matthew cries whishing that it was still Ricky's bedroom where they kissed and held each other for the first time. Matthew has no idea that a boy just as sad and lonely as he is will soon arrive.

Matthew can still smell a faint scent of Ricky in that empty bedroom. Poor Matthew so lost and so desprate to deny that Ricky is gone. He closes his eyes and breathes in the scent of Ricky and just for a minute he can almost believe that everything is back to normal.

“Yeah! He’s probably just downstairs getting us something to drink; he’ll be up in a second. Hurry up shit for brains! I’m thirsty!” Matt calls out in the cold and empty house. He can believe Ricky is still there, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Matt has no idea that his new best friend David is already on his way. They have so much in common that it’s frightening. Both have recently lost best friends, they both have broken hearts that need to mend, they both have the same birthday, and they both have been keeping secrets that are becoming to heavy to hold. 

Fate has interviened in this collamity, and in doing so has transformed itself from an adjactive to a noun. Fate has taken form like a person who's will is to unite these broken hearted boys, fate is a being, and no longer just an invisable series of circumstances. Fate is a gay man on a mission. He's a writer, a teller of tales where anything can happen, and where dreams do come true.

Fate speaks softly -- "He’s almost here my dear Matthew! -- David is on his way and he will need you as you will need him. -- be strong and just hang on! -- Hang on my broken hearted, and I'll promise that your lives will never be the same, ever!” Fate says.