The Truth About Love Songs: Chapter 6

Tyler and Scott had been friends forever. Scott had been there for Tyler throughout everything the same as Tyler had been there for Scott. When Scott was eleven, his mother had been murdered by a man who was going around killing woman in their thirties; Tyler had been by his side the whole time. Scott went into a rage and lashed out at everyone, including Tyler, but Tyler still slept over his house almost every night for three months.

Tyler’s father died when he was a baby, so he really didn’t have any memories of him, so Scott took it upon himself to make sure Tyler did everything he did with his father.
When Tyler first came out to Scott, he was pleased that Scott continued to be the friend he always was. Scott got shit from their other friends from time to time. They thought that the only reason he was so close to Tyler was because he wanted to get into his pants but it was never like that, Scott was straight and never looked at Tyler in that way at all. And he made that fact clear with his fist on one or two occasions.

They had been though a lot together, good times and bad ones and he was glad that he was still in his life. Scott made Tyler feel protected. He always looked out for him and constantly vowed to fuck up anyone who fucked with Tyler, he meant it too.
Tyler finally got to sleep about three in the morning. He had lost count on how many times he had heard his phone beep, letting him know that he had a new voice mail message, He heard the house phone go several times as well. He wanted to listen to them, to speak to Lucas but he could bring himself to move, so he left it.
In the morning Tyler was woken by the sound of Scott on his phone having a heated discussion with his girlfriend, Cindy
“I told you I was with Tyler…I know but shits happened…I can’t right now I’m going to hang out with him…don’t be like that…I do put you first…I said I was sorry…fine be that way.” Scott slammed down his phone and sighed.
“Hey, listen” Tyler started, getting off his bed “You don’t have to stay, I’m going to be ok, I just need to sort my head out”
“No it’s ok, Cindy’s just acting like a bitch as usual. I swear it’s like she’s on her fucking period every fucking day. Listen, your mum came in and asked if you were ok. She said that Lucas has been phoning the house phone and leaving messages, asking you to ring him back urgently.”
“What did you tell her?” Tyler asked, a little nervously.

“Don’t worry, I didn’t tell her what happened, I just said that you and Lucas had a fight and that you didn’t want to talk to him right now. She did ask what it was about but I didn’t answer.” Scott broke out into a smile and said “She gave me her ‘you’re full of bullshit face’ but she didn’t question me further. I’m sure she’s going to want to speak to you later.”
Tyler sat down heavily onto his bed. “I don’t want to deal with this. I don’t even want to think about it”
“Why don’t you come back to my place then? We won’t have to speak about it, besides you haven’t been over there in forever.”
“I don’t think so but thanks, I think I’m just going to crash here” Tyler fell back on to his bed and rolled over onto his side, facing away from Scott.
“Well ok buddy. I’m going to get my things, I’ll be back later.”

Without looking back Tyler choked out “ok”. Scott knew Tyler had started crying again.
So three days went by and Lucas and Tyler still hadn’t spoken. Tyler had debated with himself whether or not to call Lucas but decided against it. Why should he, he argued with himself. This mess wasn’t his fault but that still didn’t stop the feeling of longing he had inside. His heart was aching for Lucas and it wouldn’t stop.
Tyler had entered the house with Scott, and to his surprise saw Lucas sitting on the sofa taking to his mother. His heart jumped and his first instincts was to run over to him but a second later he remembered what had happened and all the hurt came flooding back. He was about to ask Lucas why he was here when Scott jumped in first.
“What the fuck do you want, you cheating fuck?”
At that point Melissa stood up and dragged Scott away say “They need to talk”
Scott wanted to fight against her but thought better of it, after seeing her ‘Don’t fuck with me face’.
Lucas stood up slowly and stepped towards Tyler but Tyler flinched and Lucas stood still.

“Hey” he said simply. It wasn’t what he wanted to say but nothing else came out. Tyler stared at him and didn’t respond.
“Can we talk?”
“What about?” Tyler said suddenly regaining his senses. He closed the door but didn’t move away from it.
“I need to explain. I’m sorry I hurt you but it’s not what you think”
“Not what I think” Tyler repeated sarcastically. “So I’ve got it wrong and you didn’t look me in the eyes and lie to me?”
“Please just let me explain” Lucas begged.
“I can’t do this right now” Tyler said feeling the tears in is eyes “I want you to go”
Lucas didn’t move
“Get the fuck out now before I throw you out”

Lucas still didn’t move. He was scared. He could see anger boiling up in Tyler but he didn’t care, he couldn’t, He needed Tyler more than anything and if it meant that Tyler had to beat the shit out of him then he would take that beating.
“Lucas, I’m not fucking joking, get the fuck OUT” he screamed.
Lucas looked at him for a second and then moved slowly towards him. Tyler stepped back and opened the door. “I don’t want to see you anymore”
Lucas stopped dead in his tracks. He felt his heart race as Tyler’s words began to penetrate. His eyes filled with tears as he spoke “I’m not going anywhere and you’re not leaving me.”
“I don’t think you have a choice in the matter”
“Yeah I do. I love you too much and I can’t lose you”
“Is that what you said to Julie? That you loved her and wanted to be with her; after all you guys are soul mates” Tyler slammed the door shut and ran up to his room. He could feel his anger boiling over and need to be away from Lucas before he did something he really didn’t want to do.

Lucas watched as Tyler went upstairs. He debated with himself for a second, wondering whether he should follow him or not. He thought about letting Tyler cool off a bit longer then coming back another day but decided that he needed to fix things now.
He slowly made it up the stairs and to Tyler’s room. He stood outside his door, taking deep breathes before he pushed it open. Tyler was flicking through his record collection. Lucas walked into the room and just stood staring at the back of Tyler’s head. Tyler didn’t turn around but said “I don’t want to fight with you Lucas so just go”
“Not till you hear me out”
“Will that make you feel better?”
“It’s not about me feeling better, it’s about you me getting back to where we were.”

Tyler let out a little laugh “And where was that? Because I don’t think that we were on the same page, not with you having a girlfriend and me thinking that it was only you and me”
Lucas didn’t answer. He sat on Tyler’s bed and looked at him “When I left London Julie and I had agreed that we would see other people but ultimately, we would get back together in the end.”
Tyler stopped what he was doing and turned to face Lucas as he continued.

“I never thought that I would meet anyone that I loved more than I loved her, but I was wrong. You blindsided me. When we got together I didn’t know what happened. I couldn’t understand what had happened to make me feel so alive and in love. I fell in love with you so hard and fast that I didn’t know what day of the week it was. And to feel that kind of love reciprocated just blew me away. I knew straight away that what I had with Julie wasn’t real; it wasn’t anywhere close to what I had with you. But how could I tell her, she seemed happy to hear from me and things weren’t going so well for her. When we spoke I could tell that she needed me and I didn’t want to break her heart. We only spoke when she called me and I never once said that I wanted to be with her again; I just never told her that I had found someone else and that we were only ever going to be friends. I should have told you the truth, I know that but I just caught up in our lives that I just didn’t think about it.” Lucas stood up and walked over to where Tyler was still standing “I am so sorry Tyler; I don’t want to lose you. I’m dying inside without you” He reached out a hand and stroked Tyler’s cheek. Tyler closed his eyes. Lucas touch sent shivers down his spine. Lucas moved forward a little more. He tried to move in for a kiss but Tyler opened his eyes and pulled away.

“I can’t do this” He walked around Lucas and sighed. He was feeling all mixed up inside and didn’t know what to do next. Part of him was dying to be in Lucas’ arms, but yet another part him wanted to lash out. Lucas was messing him up and he didn’t know how to handle all the confusion inside of him.

He shook his head while he thought about what he wanted to say. After minute had passed, he turned to Lucas and said “I can live with that fact that you let Julie believe that there was a chance between you two and I can accept the fact that you were scared to tell her that you were gay and with me, but what I don’t understand is how you could look me in the eyes and lie like that. I asked you if you had told her and you said yes and that she was fine. I wouldn’t have been mad if you had just said no. How am I meant to trust what you say now?”

“You can, I swear I’ll never lie to you again. I was an idiot and I should have been honest with you; I don’t know why I didn’t.” Lucas walked towards Tyler again, this time he wrapped his arms around his waist and held him tight “I love you so much, I can’t lose you please, just tell me what I need to do and I’ll do it, anything, just say you don’t want us to end”
Tyler looked into Lucas green pleading eyes. He loved those eyes so much and he loved Lucas. “I want to forgive you Lucas but I don’t know if I can, you’ve really hurt me”
“I know baby and I’m sorry” he whispered.

Lucas saw the conflicting emotions in Tyler’s eyes. He leaned in slowly and tried to kiss Tyler but he moved his head before there lips could connect.
“Don’t.” Tyler said trying to push Lucas away, but Lucas held on to him. He leaned in and this time their lips met. He could feel Tyler surrender to him.
It started out softly but quickly changed into something more urgent. They needed to taste each other, to feel the warm bodies rubbing against each other. Tyler ran his hand up his back till he reached his head. He pulled at Lucas’ hair while Lucas tried to undo Tyler jeans. He reached in and felt Tyler’s hardening cock in his hand. Tyler moaned involuntarily at Lucas’ touch; he missed it so much. But before things went any further, Tyler pulled back. “No” He said breathlessly “We can’t”
“Why?” Lucas panted, trying to reach for Tyler’s cock again.
“Stop. One quick fuck is not going to solve this.” Tyler said doing up his jeans. “I’m going to need time Lucas; you really hurt me and can’t just have sex with you and forget about it.” Tyler sat on his bed and Lucas joined him.
“I’ll give you all the time you need, just as long as we’re together.”
“I can’t say that we are right now”
“Please Tyler, I can’t live without you, I’ll do whatever it takes; we’ll go as slow as you want, just tell me that we can try”

Tyler looked away from Lucas. He wasn’t sure what to say. He was so mad, still he could see that Lucas meant what he was saying. “If we do this there’s going to be some conditions. We’re going to have to start again; I’m going to have to learn to trust you again and I don’t know how long it’s going to take; I don’t know when I’ll be ready again.”
“What ever it takes Tyler. These have been the worst three days of my life and I don’t want to have to go through them again, I love you so much; I will never hurt you again.”
Tyler smiled. “You’re an idiot you know that”
“Yeah, I’ve heard” Lucas smiled back “I want you to be able to trust me again and know that I mean everything I say. If that takes days, weeks or even months then so be it.”

Scott was pissed when Tyler had told him that he was going to try and patch things up with Lucas. He stormed out of the house without a word. Tyler ran out after him and caught up with him before he got to his car.
“Don’t go off like this.”
“You’re a fucking dumbass if you even think about taking him back.”
“We’ve been together for a year; I can’t just turn off my feelings. I love him”
“Yeah, and just tell me where the love was when he was lying to you?”
“It’s not like that.”
“Whatever” Scott said climbing into his car
“Scott, come on, you’re my best friend and I don’t want us to fall out about this. Please just stay and talk to me”
Scott thought for a second, then turned to Tyler and said “I love you like a brother Tyler, I would kill for you but what I can’t do is see you make a fool of yourself with that English prick. I hate having to see you get fucked over by some guy that isn’t worth shit. I don’t like Lucas and I know that he’s going to do this shit again. If you want to be with him, then fine, go ahead but don’t expect me to like it.” And with that said Scott drove away.

Tyler stood staring at the empty spot where Scott’s car was. His head was so messed up. He and Scott were close and he didn’t want to loose his friendship but he loved Lucas to death, even after all the shit that had gone on. He didn’t want to be in this position; he didn’t want to have to choose.
While he was debating things in his mind Lucas stepped out onto the porch and watched Tyler. He never liked Scott and Scott didn’t like him but he felt bad that Tyler was stuck in the middle of them. He waited patiently for Tyler to turn around and see him standing there.
Tyler smiled weakly at him as he headed towards the house.
“You ok” Lucas said softly
“Not really but I’ll survive”

Lucas tried to take Tyler’s hand but he pulled away and headed inside. Lucas sighed deeply and closed his eyes. He silently prayed, and asked God to help he get things right between him and Tyler.
It was getting dark and he wasn’t sure if Tyler wanted him to stay or not. He hated this feeling he had inside of him; he just wanted everything back to the way they were. He wanted things to be easy again. There was so much pain in the air and he knew that he had caused most of it. He needed to fix it, he needed to make things right again, he just wasn’t sure how he was going to do it.