Wishful Thinking : Part 4

*** Sorry it took me so long to post this part.. busy busy.. Well i hope you enjoy it anyways. suggestions.ideas.comments are highly appreciated! thanks!

*****

I woke up as my mum rushed into my room. She was yelling at me while parting my curtains. It was Wednesday and I was late for school. I don’t know. I must have overslept..

I didn’t even want to go to school, I had no intentions to. There was nothing good waiting there for me. My best friend wouldn’t talk to me and yesterday I turned down Tyson Parker. My life sucked. ‘I’d rather stay in bed thank you’ I told my mum while she walked out of my room but she didn’t really listen..

I pushed a pillow on my face and sunk down into my sheets again. Of course.. I had to go. Fucking Shit.

--

When I arrived at school I was already half an hour late. My biology teacher would be pretty pissed but that didn’t matter to me this morning. I opened the door of the classroom. Some heads turned to see who just came in and I walked right up to my teacher.

‘Sorry I’m late’ I murmured

‘Well talk to me after class Patrick, now go to your seat.’ He answered vainly

I knew that would mean trouble. Then I went through the classroom right towards the last row. I glanced at Justin who was staring at me. There was like no expression on his face.

If he only knew how much I missed him..

I tried to participate in the lesson because I wanted to make a good impression. Maybe that would mean less problems for being late.

But I guess I was wrong.. The bell rang and I went to talk to my teacher. A few students were still in the classroom. Also Justin, who was putting some of his books into his bag.

‘Mr. Richards – I’m sorry.. it won’t happen again’ I started

‘Damn right’ He just said, handing me a piece of paper. VACCINES AND IMMUNIZATION was the headline.

‘Read that. Answer the Questions. Give it to me tomorrow’ and he turned away from me.

I was pissed now. That was some hell of work I would have to do. Another reason why I hated school.

--

As much as I hated how everything was going wrong, it frustrated me even more that I wasn’t able to talk to anybody about it. I threw my biology book into my locker, when Justin appeared beside me. I tried to calm down as he was probably just there to get to his locker, which was right beside mine.

But then I heard his voice ‘Pat look I-’

‘PATRICK ?!’ Somebody else was calling a few steps behind me. I turned around to see that it was Tyson, who was walking right up to me. I took a short glimpse at Justin who had a flustered look on his face as he saw him.

Tyson didn’t even deign a look at Justin. He stopped closely in front of me and took my hand in his. Tyson rested his body against mine ‘You need to talk to me, come on’ he whispered in my ear and closed my locker behind me with his other hand. I turned my head to see Justin who looked at his feet and turned away quickly. As Tyson lead me through the hallway Justin disappeared in the crowd. I wasn’t able to think clearly. Did I just miss a chance to talk to Justin ?! Why the hell was Tyson holding my hand ?! What the fuck ?

Tyson pushed me inside some empty classroom and closed the door. I stared doubtfully at him trying to free my arm from his.

‘What’s wrong with you Patrick?’ he began and let go of my hand ‘I called you like 9 times yesterday’

I closed my eyes for a second ‘What do you wanna hear Tyson ?’ and sat down on some table

‘What-? Did I miss something?’ he grumbled ‘Is it that you just don’t wanna be with me or what?’

I remembered me saying the exactly same words to Justin a few weeks ago. I felt cruel and thought about the right words to say but there weren’t any. I just wasn’t ready for a relationship with Tyson.. ‘Everything is going to fast for me. You want too much, you expect too much - I had a life before you moved here.. you know’

I wasn’t sure if I made my point clear with that..

Tyson’s expression changed and he tried to smile even though his eyes told me something else. ‘Okay.. I guess I’m sorry’ he said shyly ‘I didn’t want to pressure you or anything -’

‘I gotta go’ I interrupted him and jumped off the table. I wanted this conversation to end..

‘But – Patrick!’ he shouted after me

I already snatched the door handle down when he reached out his hand and pushed the door shut again. He surrounded me by putting his hands beside each of my shoulders. I turned around and we were face to face. I had to look up to Tyson, who was taller than me.. He looked almost angry and I tried to get out of his grip. Without success.

‘You’re not just gonna walk out on me again’ he declared.

He paused, looked up and down my body and then added ‘What do I mean to you?’

‘Huh?’

‘What am I for you?’ – ‘Am I your boyfriend?’

I stared at him in disbelief.. Was he really asking me that.. like seriously?

‘Noo ?’ I laughed confused and struggled to get away from him

Tyson laughed too.. kinda evil, but then he leaned in and kissed me. I was caught off guard. His tongue was entering my mouth and I wasn’t really fighting it.. his lips tasted so good. Our kiss was kinda toxic and I enjoyed it.. Tyson’s hands were sliding under my shirt as he caressed my lower back. Warm, his touch was so warm. God why must this guy be so fucking hot?

That was exactly when Justin came back to my mind. When I was finally able to move again I pushed Tyson away. I had to force myself to get away from him. He was hot, alright. But he wasn’t what I really wanted.

Tyson stepped back and stared at me. He was perplexed but I didn’t care. I left the classroom leaving him there alone.

--

I was early for my next lesson, which was English, but I just sat down in the classroom. It was silent because only the teacher and three other students were there. I guess usually everybody spends the break with his friends, huh? It was so quiet I could hear the clock on the wall ticking. Tick. Tick. Tick. I couldn’t stop thinking about Justin. I wanted him. I needed him. What would he think of me now ? He saw the way Tyson treated me in the hallway. He probably saw how he touched me. Even though there was nobody near me I blushed.. just thinking about it. What was it with Tyson anyway ? I made no signs that I wanted to start something with him. I clearly didn’t. Well I admired him but he didn’t even COME CLOSE to the way I saw Justin.. right? Tick. Tick. Tick.

I know I’m always searching for excuses.. for ANYTHING. Or at least somebody to blame. But this was too much.. how is it actually possible that so much shit is happening to ONE PERSON.

Suddenly the classroom was full of people. And all this thinking about Tyson.. there he was. I looked somewhere else as he made his way towards his seat, which was right in front of me. The bell rang and Mrs. Klark started her lesson. I watched Tyson as he played a little with his hair during the whole lesson. He sure was a hottie.

ARGH. My insides just turned upside down by the thought that my next class would be sports. But there was no way I would go there. It wasn’t really my intention to be in the same room with Tyson AND Justin. This would only lead to more drama.. I decided that I would just ditch my sports lesson for today and go home.

--

Right after my English lesson was over I headed out to my car. I was only a few steps away when I saw a black BMW parked right beside my car – Justin's. It didn’t really bother me, I just wanted to get home. Walking around mine to get to the drivers seat I was searching in my bag for my car keys. Then I saw that Justin was leaning against his car. I stopped on the spot. My heartbeat got faster and I had to swallow hard.

‘Hey Pat’ he said in a guilty but friendly tone

‘Eerm.. Hey’ I managed to answer

Justin didn’t move. He just stared at me with his beautiful green eyes. He looked fucking perfect leaning against his car like this. Shit. I blushed and looked at my feet.

‘Where are you going? Aren’t you supposed to go to sports class now?’ he asked

‘Well so are you..?’ I felt caught

Now Justin was looking at his feet ‘Got suspended for three weeks’ he laughed

I was quite shocked. He noticed and added ‘because I acted like a fucking retard in the last lesson.. you know’

‘Oh I remember.. what was that about in the first place?’

‘Uuh.. I don’t know Pat. Just some random misunderstanding shit’ he blushed

‘Okay I see..’ I smiled

God it was so good to talk to Justin again. Just to hear him saying my name felt amazing. Watching his perfect lips while he talked. And the way he gestured with his hands sometimes..

There was a short silence between us when I realized I should just leave because Justin was probably waiting for somebody. I grabbed my keys.

‘So how is everything going Pat?’

‘Uuum.. well.. Perfect..’ I said turning to my car to unlock it ‘-just perfect’ I added. That was probably one “perfect” too much and I must have sounded more discontented than I actually wanted to. I opened the door and threw my bag onto the passenger seat.

‘You don’t wanna talk to me..’ I heard Justin's low voice saying behind me

‘What ?!’ I flipped around

‘Umm.. I said –‘

‘No, I heard what you said Justin’ I cut him off ‘I just wasn’t sure if I was understanding it right..’

He didn’t seem to understand so I added ‘You know YOU were the one that wasn’t talking to ME the past few weeks’

I hadn’t noticed but in the heat of the moment I got closer to Justin. His face was only inches away from mine and I really wished I could touch it. I could feel Justin's eyes wandering over my body.

Finally he was looking at his own feet again and whispered ‘Can I ask you something?’

‘Depends..’ I only said

‘Well is there something going on between you and this new kid – what’s his name again?

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. ‘Tyson ?’ I asked

Justin looked in my eyes again and nodded slowly.

‘As far as I’m concerned, that’s none of your business.. not anymore’ I just said

All this stuff about Tyson was really pissing me off now. What the fuck was so special about this guy and why was everybody so into him ?

I stepped back from Justin. This was too awkward for me..

I sat inside my car but as I reached out to close the door Justin stepped in between.

‘We’re still friends right?’ his voice sounded kinda weak and concerned

‘Whatever..’ I ignored him, closed the door and drove off.

--

Next day in school was fucking horrible. I couldn’t stop thinking about Justin.. well not that this was something new or strange but.. God. Seems like he’s always coming up with new problems. I still think he doesn’t know what he really wants and what the hell does Tyson got to do with this? I felt shitty. As I was walking through the hallway I thought about the conversation I had with Justin yesterday.. I should have told him how much he really means to me. And that Tyson is nothing compared to him. Now I felt like I was alone invisible to everyone -

‘Hey’ I heard somebody say behind me

I was almost expecting that I made it up but I turned around anyways.. and I saw Tyson.

‘Oh hey’ I said annoyed and kept moving but Tyson was walking with me now

‘Are you okay? Didn’t see you in sports class yesterday’ he said concerned

‘Yeah.. didn’t feel so well’

Tyson took a short glance at me before he continued

‘You already have plans for tonight?’ he asked casually

‘What? You know it’s Thursda-’ I started but stopped because Tyson walked right into some other guy who was followed by a crowd of the jocks

I wanted to see who it was and my eyes met Justin’s

‘Dude. Watch yourself’ he grumbled towards Tyson and walked away

‘What the fuck ?’ Tyson asked perplexed

I was kinda shocked too. But I tried to hide it quickly.

‘Dunno.. but this happens to me all the time’ I laughed

Tyson was still lost in his thoughts and I saw this as my chance to get away ‘Gotta go to geography now. See ya’ I said friendly and went to my classroom