Wishful Thinking : Part 5

Heyya, i know it takes ages for me to write a new chapter lol but I’m really trying to get more out of the characters if you know what I’m talking about.. Anyways this is chapter number 5
Guess I’m gonna write another one but not sure whether I should end the story then.. we’ll see.. and again let me know what you think. ideas suggestions and comments are needed

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It was Thursday 8pm. The day Justin asked me out to this party at Sam’s house.

I showered. Put on way too much aftershave. And changed my outfit like 10 times still hoping Justin wouldn’t guess that i didn’t know what to wear.. I was surprised that simple blue jeans could look so hot on me.

8:40pm. I was fucking nervous and excited. This was so different from everything else Justin and I had done before. We weren’t just best friends going out. This time it was something else. We were closer now. I don’t know.. we were.. OMG. Were we going on a DATE? Like.. a fucking date? Was this the word I was searching for?

I really tried to calm down but I couldn’t. I ran downstairs and upstairs again just to check if I could already see Justin's car parked outside. My mum was sitting on the couch in the living room looking worried at me like she wasn’t sure if my mind was still working right. But thank god she didn’t say anything.

Finally.. thirty minutes later and with me almost going crazy I heard the doorbell. I checked my hair one last time in the mirror at the wardrobe and opened the door.

The magic happened. Justin stood there flashing me his killer smile that made my knees go weak. His hands were buried in the pockets of his black pants. He also wore a bright shirt and this black leather jacket that made me even hotter for him.

‘Hi’ I stuttered.

‘Hey’ Justin smiled and gave me a slow look from top to bottom

As I was gazing into his beautiful green eyes a flashback hit me fucking hard from all the times we were so close and he looked at me like that. How he closed his eyes when I was touching his chest.. and the way he told me that he would fight for the things he wanted.. I was hooked and couldn’t stop staring.

‘You look beautiful’ he whispered and I think my heart stopped beating for a second

‘Thanks..’ my face turned fucking red and there was no way to hide it now..

Justin just smiled at me.

‘So are we going or what?’ he finally said pointing slightly in the direction of his car

‘Uuuh.. yes sure’

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I couldn’t remember the last time I was driving in Justin's car.. but it felt good. I like Justin having power over something. I guess that’s the reason why he became captain of the football team.. because he was fucking good.. being in control.

‘What ?’ he smiled but didn’t take his eyes off the street. I guess he must have realized I was staring at him.. AGAIN.

‘Nothing..’ I tried to sound relaxed and forced myself to look somewhere outside.. Oh god I just wished I could touch him. I wanted him so much.. I longed for him so bad it hurt. But I still wasn’t sure about his intentions.

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‘Alright we’re there’ Justin said about ten minutes later and stopped the car

There were many other cars in the street and I could see lights and already a few people in the front yard of a tall house. And when we got out of the car I could hear music playing loud.

‘Hey you didn’t tell me this was such a big deal’ I told Justin as he walked towards the house and I followed

‘Sorry but I didn’t know either, hun’ he answered sounding just slightly too commiserative

I turned my head. Did he just call me “hun” ? I opened my mouth to comment on this but Justin was about to talk to some of these people that I’ve never even seen before.

I felt kinda embarrassed just lingering behind him and not knowing what to do or where to go. Why do I have to be so fucking uncool when it comes to things like that?

‘Oh and hey everybody.. this is Patrick’ Justin announced loud and pulled me closer and suddenly everybody was looking at me

‘Hey’ I said shyly

I wasn’t really enjoying it to be the centre of attention. Why were these people so fucking interested in me anyway?

‘Are we going inside?’ I asked Justin pleading and adjusting his jacket

‘Umm.. yeah just give me a second’

I was used to that. Justin had been so fucking popular as long as I could think. It was always like this when we were going to parties. There was almost NO time for me.

Well I was caught off guard when Justin suddenly said ‘Let’s go’ and took my hand. Astonishment must have been written all over my face right that moment..

Justin lead me inside Sam’s house where were even MORE people. But he quickly found some empty spot on a couch in the back of the living room. I noticed most of the guys there were actually really hot. Like not only the whole football team who was there but also some other guys. A second later Justin let go of my hand and dropped on the couch.. much to my own disappointment. I sat down a few inches beside him, still hoping he would take my hand again but well he didn’t.

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Yeah.. we ended up suddenly sitting REALLY close and occasionally brushed our knees together. I could feel the heat that was coming from Justin's body.. and it made my heart beat even faster. None of us said anything and I tried hard to keep my eyes on something in the distance just to avoid staring at Justin. But I felt his eyes on me as he lifted his arm and placed it right behind my back. I closed my eyes for a second trying to memorize this moment forever in my mind. It felt so good being that close to him again and to see he wanted it just as much as I did.

I was waiting for Justin to say something. I felt like he still owed me that TALK we didn’t have on the football field this morning and I su-

‘What’s up Justin’ Sam Petersen interrupted my thoughts smiling, walking closer to us. He added a surprised ‘Oh hey Patrick’ as he spotted me. I didn’t like this nosy jerk at all. I crossed my arms.. was this my own little defence mechanism?

‘We just got here Sam.. nice party though’ Justin answered casually gesturing a little with his left hand while his right arm stayed around my shoulders.

‘Seriously, I didn’t think you two would actually come’ he grinned cockily from me to Justin.

‘Seriously, you thought wrong’ Justin said in a not-so-friendly-anymore tone. It was an obvious sign that the conversation was ended at this point and Sam finally let us alone.

I felt relieved that I haven’t had to say anything. Just then I realized how much I had really missed my beloved Justin. Not only his touch and his beautiful body but also the way he was always there for me and how he protected me from everybody else..

‘Are you okay?’ he whispered worried and stroked over my knee with his left hand

‘Yeah.. I guess’ I answered quiet, staring at my shoes and still not unfolding my arms

I still wanted him to TALK TO ME..

‘Look Pat you know I’m sorry..’ he murmured but I kept staring at my feet

Justin shifted somehow closer to me

‘You know I need you’ he whispered lifting my chin slightly with his hand so I had to look at him ‘Now please listen to me baby’ – oh god I almost melted when he called me “baby” – ‘I know I cant take back what I did or said. I’m not perfect. I made a mistake.. I got it. But please believe me when I’m telling you that this will never happen again. I’ll never hurt you again Pat.. never again’ Justin said in this perfect low voice. He stroked over my hair and leaned in close enough so I could feel his hot breath on my neck. ‘I miss you so much’ he whispered directly in my ear and my whole body tingled.

And then I felt his lips on my skin. He lifted his arm behind my back and stroke over my chest while kissing down my neck. Oh God I was so hot for him and tried to not get a fucking hard-on..

‘Justin-’ I started but stopped ad his hand slid through my hair

‘Justin..’ I tried again ‘..you do realize were not alone right?’

‘I don’t care’ he declared and pulled my shirt down a little to get more access to my chest

I noticed I had no chance this way and tried another strategy.. knowing he would never do something that I clearly didn’t want.

‘Well actually I care. I feel so uneasy it’s like they’re watching us’ I whispered looking into his green eyes that now stared right into mine. I knew he was trying to figure me out.

‘Do you have any idea how hard it is to be with you but not being able to touch you? – it kills me’

‘I guess you’re asking the wrong person’ I said almost laughing

Justin blushed and dropped his head on the backrest of the couch

He closed his eyes for a moment and said ‘I’m gonna go and get us some drinks okay?’

‘Yeah.. sure’ I agreed and Justin stood up immediately

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Was he now angry with me now or what? Even though I didn’t want us to make out in front of all these people I still wanted Justin.. and I wanted to touch him and to kiss him. I just didn’t want it to happen HERE. I wanted to kiss him so bad.. and more than the slight touch of his lips that I got this morning. I wanted a REAL kiss.. I missed the way Justin's lips could taste.

Completely in thoughts about Justin's lips I suddenly felt a hand lifting me up from the couch. It was Tyson.. and he was dragging me to some wall which I only realized when my shoulders rubbed against it. He stood in front of me and braced one arm against the wall I was standing against, his hand directly over my shoulder. WTF? Why do I always end up in a situation like this with TYSON? He was looking at me like I was dessert. By that he made a clear sign that anyone else could just step the fuck off, thanks.

‘What are you doing here?’ I asked perplexed trying hard not to get weak knees

‘Stalking you..?’ Tyson smiled but as he noticed I didn’t think this was funny he added ‘God you’re such a freak sometimes.. Sam invited me so chill out Pat’

Actually I didn’t care about anything he said. But I heard the way he phrased my name.

‘..don’t call me that’ I said looking down at my shoes

‘What?’ Tyson sneered ‘..Pat?’

I didn’t answer him. You know it’s been only Justin who ever called me Pat. I don’t know but I felt so insecure and vulnerable right then.. and Tyson knew it. He probably knew more than I would want him to.

‘What has he got that I don't have?’ he asked innocently and rested his hand on my waist

I tried to pull away but all of a sudden Justin stepped up beside me and Tyson backed off.

Justin just stared at him and placed a possessive hand on my chest. Well I was holding my breath while my eyes switched from Tyson to Justin. ‘You know..’ Justin said, smirking at Tyson in front of him ‘I'm starting to have a real problem with you touching my property’