Can love hurt so much?

well first off my name is Carlos and i gladly live in Chicago and i am slim and 5'3. okay enough about me.

so i was in high school and i really had a crush on this guy, i think that iwas even in love with him. i would always be tryinq too look for him and it was such a relief when i saw his beautiful face. but we we'rent friends and this really got on my nerves. once, we finally started talking, and he seemed pretty into my conversation. he seemed to understand what i was passing through. we talked for much of the day and i felt so good! i felt that by the end of the year i might come out too him.

but unfortunately next day he didn't come to school, my heart shattered and i felt so stupid. i mean why wwould he look at sucj a nobb like me?! then came the weekend. i felt a real bad longing for him and i missed him terribly. that was the first night i dreamed of him. it wasn't sex related, i dreamed that we were dating and we simply took a walk, and kissed and were very happy. i woke up crying because i knew that this was not possible. the hours dragged and yet i couldn't forget him. it was monday and he did come to school!

i felt jumpy and happy, but once more, he pretended i did not exist. i felt so bad and i was close to tearrs. whatever i thought. he's just a crush but deep inside, i knew that this was not true anymore.

time passed and i saw that he started stealing glances at me. could he be looking at me?! or was it my gay instincts? i saw that this kept ongoing and his glances were more longer and frequent. but right when i cuaght his eye, he would look away.
i started dreaming of him again, and i would cry because he could never be mine. i longed for him too talk too me but he wouldn't.

so we were in lunch and he sat next too me for the first time. and i was like OMG! somehow he managed too touch my elbow with his elbow and he kept it there. i made no move to stop him, and then the bell rang and that was that.

next day he sat next too me and started talking too me. "hey wassup?" he couldn't be talking to me!.....