Cool Fools 9: Heaven

Ethan charged at his cousin. Adam warded him off with a kick to the attacker’s stomach. Ethan landed on the ground, his back now covered in dirt…but the grim only highlight Ethan’s tougher, meaner, sexier side. This inevitably brought back memories of Ethan enduring Kimora Gillespie’s punishing karate move…on the night of their first official date. Woody remembered just how turned on he was at that time, seeing Ethan struggle in pain, but now, if it were possible, he was even more aroused.

This time around, Adam was the one who charged. Their swords clanged about. Without a shield, the black-loving knight was losing ground; he was being pushed back into a corner of the fence. As the minutes to Ethan’s death ticked down, Woody found himself more and more restless…mostly because his huge hardon was making it hard for him to sit comfortably. But then Ethan thrust his sword at Adam. The knight in white jumped back and let out a scream.

The crowd gasped…could the bad guy actually win in this tournament? That would be the first! As Adam continued to back away, Ethan’s face glowed, his eyes turning red and evil, as he bellowed again, “I’ll finish you!”

But Adam ducked down and struck his sword low, causing Ethan to fall face forward, groaning and writhing in pain, his front chest now as dirty as his back. No longer able to stand up, Ethan quickly crawled away--apparently, Adam had severed both of his Achille’s tendons. Ethan struggled on the ground, striking his sword about in madness, but with one simple stroke, Adam caused Ethan’s sword to fly four yards to his left. The closest thing to Ethan now was the shield he had cast aside, and he slowly crawled towards it with only the strength of his arms to pull him. But before Ethan could lay a hand on the shield, Adam’s foot came down on the hand and crushed it to the dirt, causing Ethan to scream louder than ever before….which in turned caused Woody to adjust his pants again.

As Ethan sat up and brought his hands together, pleading for mercy, Adam walked around and kneeled behind his cousin, slowly bringing the sword to his throat. That beautiful, taut, muscled throat that Woody loved to kiss and suckle on. As Ethan cried pathetically, begging for his life, Woody couldn’t help but think it was the hottest, erotic, most twisted porn being played out in real life….an unbelievably hot, muscular hunk of a man reduced to a pathetic whimper as he stared down at the blade that would bring his life to an end. All too soon, Adam ran the sword across Ethan’s gorgeous neck as the black-loving knight reached out to Woody in the audience, hoping somehow he could save him. Eventually, Adam stood up and moved away from Ethan’s body…which was still writhing, the muscles of his chest still twitching, his legs still kicking, his eyes still intense…until all the movements gradually ceased. With perfectly reheased timing…when Adam picked the charmed necklace from the ground, Ethan twitched his last.

Soon, two men came out with a stretcher and placed Ethan’s body haphazardly on it…his arms and legs dangling to the side…and carried him out of the arena.
“Aww man…” said the girl sitting by Woody, “Why couldn’t they have left your boyfriend’s body out there longer?”
“Cause people would be too busy looking at his body to pay attention to what’s happening now…” Woody said.

The princess now stepped out of the gazebo and made her way down the path and into the arena. It was obvious what would happen next. The knight would get down on one knee and propose to the princess. And she would say yes. The king would call out the priest and there would be a quick nuptial celebration. And the knight would lift his bride upon the white horse and, together, they would ride out of the arena…supposedly, off to their honeymoon.

But not everything like that happened. As the beautiful princess approached Adam, he took her hand. He bowed as she curtsied. And then, he led her back to the gazebo where the King and Queen stood up. “Sweet Princess Elizabeth. You are truly the fairest lady in all the lands. But I must return you to your mother and father. I am sorry I cannot take you as my wife. I am in love with someone else…”

The crowd gasped, as the royal family looked at each other, wondering “Was this in the script?”
“Please forgive me!” Adam said as he turned towards the audience, staring straight at Reed.

“Oh my god!” flustered the girl sitting in front of Woody and Reed, “Is he looking at me…”
“I don’t think so…” Woody chuckled.

The crowd slowly cranked their heads, following Adam as he walked across the arena, to the other side of the fence, towards the bleachers. Intrigued, part of the audience began to scoot away as Adam stepped onto the bleachers, still staring deep into Reed’s eyes. Adam stretched out his right arm, and as the hand stayed suspended in the air, so were the captivated audience, wondering just exactly who Adam was looking at. And as Reed reached out to grab the hand, the audience gasped again.

A low murmur broke out in the crowd as people discussed the situation with their neighbors. Little by little, step by step, Adam led Reed back down to the arena.
“What are you doing?” Reed asked; his face red with shock and joy.

“I’m not afraid to admit it. Not anymore,” Adam shook his head, “I’ve never felt anything like this for anyone before, Reed. Everyone I date sooner or later tell me they love me, and that’s my cue to run away. But with you…when you uttered those three words, my heart just flew out of its cage. I wanted to record your voice and play it over and over again. I love you, Reed. And I’m sorry I denied it before.”

“I can’t believe this is happening,” said Reed, half-laughing, half-crying, “This is really cheesy. You could have just told me privately. But I love you anyway.”
Adam wiped the tears from his boyfriend’s face as they drew together for a soft kiss.

“Hey, faggots!” yelled a guy in the audience, “Little kids are watching ya know!”
“What? They saw a man getting slit in the throat. But they can’t see two guys kissing?” yelled the girl sitting next to Woody.
“You go, sista!” Woody tried his best to sound stereotypically gay.

As the crowd began to throw popcorn and pickle at them, Adam lifted Reed onto the horse and got on himself. And soon, they were riding out of the field. Woody quickly left the bleachers and ran out of the arena. He was not patient enough to witness the aftermath of Adam’s deviation from the script.

There were only two things on Woody’s mind at the moment. SEX and ETHAN. And the combination of those two words was exactly what Woody was looking. Sex. Ethan. Sex. Ethan. Sex with Ethan. Sexing Ethan. Sex. Sex. First find Ethan, then have sex. Then have more sex with Ethan!

Woody had seen them carry Ethan’s body towards the cabin down the hill. And that was where Woody was dashing to. As he rushed in the cabin, Woody saw nobody in the main room. But he could hear the sound of running water in one of the rooms in the back. Like a bullet that found its target, Woody zipped through the air to the other side of the room, down the hall, and veered left into the steamy room. Pushing aside the shower curtain, Woody stepped in.

Drying his head with a towel, Ethan turned around and leaned back in surprise, “Sherwood…what are you doing…”
The ‘here?’ Ethan was about to say was lost in the muffle as Woody’s mouth crushed upon that of his naked boyfriend.

“That was the fucking hottest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life,” Woody exclaimed, but was not exaggerating, “I don’t care if you’re not in the mood. I don’t care how tired you are. I’m gonna suck your huge cock til you blow a hot wad in my mouth!”

There was no foreplay necessarily. There was no touching needed to arouse Ethan. His dick sprung up immediately at the explicit words that sputtered from Woody’s mouth. Woody squatted down and went straight to business, engulfing the whole 9 inch thick chunk of meat, stuffing it deep down his hungry throat, milking it with his teeth behind tight lips. Woody had eventually grown to like sucking Ethan’s dick, but never had he felt so much pleasure giving oral sex before. Never had Woody wanted to blow a load of his own while giving head.

Ethan who had always known how to control his orgasm, always known how to suspend the climax, didn’t think he could last a minute with the vigorous, wet, hot number Woody was doing to his cock. Ethan who had always seemed so composed during sex, always seemed so majestically poised even as he approached his orgasm, was already having trouble standing on his shaky legs. Forced to lean back against the shower stall, trying to find a grip on the slippery surface, Ethan tried hard not to fall and impede his boyfriend from giving him the blowjob of the century.

“Oh God, Sherwood. This is too fucking goooood. I can’t…I can’t hold it. I’m gonna…I’m gonna cum…”
Just then, Woody pulled his mouth out and squeezed the tip of Ethan’s cock, making sure he couldn’t ejaculate, “Well, NO. You’re NOT!”

Ethan moaned in agony. “I…I thought you wanted me to blow a wad in your mouth!”

“Well, I did. But then I remembered about last night. You fell asleep on me, while I was trying to pleasure you!”

“Oh, shit! I did, didn’t I? I’m soooo sorry.” Ethan gasped, biting his lips and curling his toes, “But please, for Christ’s sake, Sherwood…let me come.”

Seeing the pain expression of Ethan’s face only reminded Woody of the recent duel that turned him on so much. Before long, Woody was shoving the hard, strained cock, dripping with precum, back down his throat. The truth was…Woody had stopped the blowjob prematurely just so he could keep Ethan’s delicious cock in his mouth longer. The man receiving the oral pleasure thought he had already went over the edge, but Woody was quickly bringing him to the second edge, an edge even steeper and more powerful than the one before.

Ethan’s moaning had always been Woody’s second favorite thing to hear uttered from Ethan’s mouth. “I love you, Sherwood,” was the number one thing Woody loved to hear. And it was that much better when those words were mixed into Ethan’s moan…

Ethan didn’t think there was enough air in the world to supply the amount he needed to express just how utterly great Woody’s mouth felt around his dick, just how wonderful Woody’s throat felt constricting around the cock, just how fantastic Woody’s lips felt at the base of his pole.

Whatever air there was left, Ethan had used them up: “OOOOOH. MY GOD. I want to feel your mouth around my cock all day…but this is just too damn great….I have too…I have too come…”

Woody pulled his mouth away and squeezed at the tip of Ethan’s cock, once again preventing him to release his orgasm!

“Oh, Fuck. What did I do this time?” Ethan cried, putting a fist in his mouth and biting down hard on it.

“You called me Woody!”
“What?”
“At the courthouse, the other day. When I turned you down, you called me Woody.”

“I’m sorry,” Ethan moaned, “I don’t know what came over me. I’m really sorry, Sherwood. Sherwood Sherwood Sherwood. Please I promise I’ll never say it again. Please, finish me off…Sherwooood, please!”

“I’m wearing your bracelet,” Woody said, “Don’t you forget that, Ethan. I accepted your proposal. I promised to marry you. And we will! Even if the state banned gay marriage tomorrow, I will still marry you one way or the other. I love you, and that’s the way it is. I love you, and nothing’s ever gonna change that.”

“I love you too, Sherwood!” moaned Ethan, “But please…for my fucking sanity…please stop squeezing my cock and let me come. Pleeaaaaassssee!!!”

Sherwood let go of the dark-red tip and swallowed the cock whole again. It didn’t take more than ten seconds to bring Ethan to a third edge. Grabbing a hold of his Woody’s dark blond hair, bellowing his orgasmic state so loud that shook the cabin, Ethan drove his big dick deep down Woody’s throat. Without further hindrance, he erupted…long and hard, filling up Woody’s mouth with the hottest, thickest spunk he had ever produced. If it was possible, Woody was enjoying the experience even more than Ethan, hungrily gulping down all that his fiancé had to give, drawing more and more juice from the depths of Ethan’s nuts.

It was several minutes later before Ethan released all he had, but when he pulled out, Ethan saw the state of his cock, “I’m still hard as rocks here!”

“Good!” Woody exclaimed, throwing off his shirt and sliding down his pants, turning his ass towards Ethan, “Fuck me!”

It was an hour later that Woody and Ethan emerged from the cabin. The faire was still going on, but now it was time for the two to find their friends. “Adam told me he might pull that stunt at the end. But I thought he would chicken out! I’m rather impressed.” Ethan nodded approvingly, “Maybe playing the role of a valiant, good knight helped him learn a few things.”

“I think I know where they are!” said Woody.
“Me too,” nodded Ethan.

Checking the brochure, they found that the Land of Dante’s Inferno was far off in the corner of the vast park. Passing the land of the Greeks, the lands of the Romans, the lands of the Oriental, passing the cave of dragons, the hollows of the dwarves, the forest of elves, the springs of fairies…Woody and Ethan came to an abrupt descent downhill.

“Through me you enter into the city of woes, through me you enter into eternal pain, through me you enter the population of loss. Justice move my high maker, in power divine, wisdom supreme, love primal. No things were before me not eternal; eternal I remain. ABANDON ALL HOPE, YOU WHO ENTER HERE.”

These words were inscribed in dark colors over the gate that Woody and Ethan entered. Across the Acheron to Limbo where the unbaptized, the lustful, gluttons, spenders & hoarders, the wrathful & sullen all endured their incontinent sins. Across the river Styx to the City of Dis where the heretics were punished. Finally, across the Plegethon to the Plain of Fire where the committers of violent sins suffered. This was the seventh circle, the circle where Adam and Reed must probably be.

Flaming signs marked each section of the 7th circle. They passed under the sign that read Violence “towards Others”…then “towards the Self,” then “towards God.” Each section they passed, the terrain became steeper and rockier. Soon they entered the region for souls that committed violence towards Nature.

“There they are…or at least I think…” Woody pointed in the distance, at two moving figures in the dark red fog that was getting thicker the further they walked down.
As Woody and Ethan descended further, they realized it was indeed Adam and Reed walking in a circle around a raging ball of fire.
Ethan who was walking ahead came to a sudden stop, making Woody run into his back. The taller boy pointed down at the reason he stopped: down at the pit where Adam and Reed were walking, the floor was covered with red-and-ashy-gray orbs. “Is that hot coal?” Ethan asked out loud.

“No, it’s just painted rocks,” Reed laughed. “Come on down here.”
Breathing a sigh of relief, Ethan and Woody walked onto the fake coals and met up with their friends, “So what happened after you guys rode out of the arena?”

“Oh, they surrounded us and took us here,” replied Reed, “We only had to stay for fifteen minutes and listen to Dante on audiobook.”
“But you guys have been here for an hour…” observed Ethan.
“Yeah, well,” laughed Adam, “I couldn’t keep my hands off of him, so they kept adding five minutes every time I kissed him.”

“You know,” said a guard in the very back, “We can’t legally keep you here…”
“Fuck! Why didn’t you say it earlier?” asked Adam.

“Cause you two are hot! And I have to stand here all day. Just wanted company. But now that my shift is over…Let’s get the fuck out of this hellhole!”
“Agreed!” Adam said.

“Come on, I know the shortcut!” announced the guard.
“Nah, I wanna finish the rest of hell. See what’s down here that’s worse a sin than sodomy,” said Reed.

“Fine, go ahead. But let me warn you, you’re not gonna like the end!” The guard tabbed the wall behind him and a secret door opened. As soon as he went through it, the entrance somehow resealed itself shut again. Adam, who would rather get out of hell as soon as possible, tried pushing at the wall but it wouldn’t budge.

“Come on, let’s go.” Reed said excitedly, continuing down the slope.

“Violent toward Art?” Woody read the next flaming sign they came upon, “Does that mean you can’t burn paintings or knock down statues?”

“No,” chuckled Ethan, “It means Usury. You can’t profit from interest.”
“Ha,” Adam snorted, “That means bank-tellers are committing a worse sin that us cocksuckers!”
“That’s Dante’s Inferno for you!” said Ethan amusedly.

The group soon passed through the eighth circle, reserved for those who committed sins of fraud. Lastly, they came to the ninth circle, known simply as the pit, the very bottom of the hill, reserved for those who committed sins of betrayal.

The group was in awe as they through the setting of the 9th circle, the frozen land. Who knew that part of hell was frozen? They admired the eerie yet homoerotic sculptures of naked men trapped in giant blocks of ice. They wondered how the production designers made the frost and icicles on the trees looked so real.

At the furthest reach of the pit, they could see the gate that marked “EXIT.” But unfortunately, it was closed and guarded by a man dressed in an elaborate demonic costume. He had huge ugly wings, big gross hooves, and the face that nightmares were made out of. He was the devil! Even without a pitchfork, the group had to agree, it was a fantastically scarey uniform.

“You may not pass into Purgatory!” said the man trying to sound as scary as he can, “Not until you face the Trial by Ordeal of Water.”
“What’s that?” Woody wondered aloud.
Reed answered, “That’s when you throw people into water and see if they sink or drown.”

“Why? What for?” Adam asked. “You do that for people you suspect are witches or sorcerers or whatnots. We’re just gay folks!”

“But you’ve passed through all the levels of Hell,” explained Lucifer, “What makes you think you haven’t been possessed by one of my dominions?”

“Alright!” sighed Woody, “So what do we have to do to get out of here?”
“That…” the devil pointed behind them.

The group turned around to stare at a circular wooden crate. It was six foot in height, and on closer inspection, the group noticed that the crate was filled to the rim with water. And above the crate, there was a plank. And to the side of the crate, there was a target painted on a panel. It was a dunk tank! Only it was made out of wood in keeping with the medieval style.

“Before any of you attempt. Understand that this part of the Inferno represents a frozen land. The water in that tank is 45 degrees Fahrenheit,” informed the Devil.

“What? That’s crazy!” Adam uttered in disbelief.
“Only one of you will have to face the Trial, and I will let you all pass this gate,” said the winged beast, “If not, you are free to walk all the way back up the hill to the land of the living…if you’d like.”

“Well, hell!” Ethan said, quickly removing his shirt and pants, until the only thing covering him was the Tigger boxer-shorts, “I’m dressed for it!”
Ethan dashed toward the small staircase that led up to the top of the tank.
“Ethan. Wait!” Woody also stripped down to reveal his Winnie-the-Pooh boxer-shorts, “Let me join you.”

Hand in hand, the two smitten lovers leisurely ascended the stair. Their eyes never parted from each other, even as they walked out onto the plank and sat down. Woody was seated at the very edge, while Ethan sat behind him, holding him, kissing him lightly on the neck, “Look at those ice cubes floating on the water. Are you sure you want to do this?”

“That time at Charlie’s Junks. I wished I was up there with you,” said Woody, “And now here’s my chance to do so. I’d never give it up again.”

“Are you two ready?” Adam hollered. The couple sitting two feet above nearly freezing water grimaced but nodded. “Okay, here it goes.” Adam threw the ball shaped like a skull at the target. Surely enough, his aim was accurate. The target pushed back and the plank pulled down, dropping the couple into the water.

Expecting the worst, Ethan and Woody held each other tight and winced. But as their bodies submerged, they soon realized the water was much warmer than they thought. In fact, it was lukewarm, and the ice chunks were made out of plastic.

Woody’s mind began to spin. He didn’t know if it was the drop into water, or the pressure of the waves pounding on his ear, or the thought that were quickly condensing in his mind. But as he came up for air, Woody had an epiphany. “I get it!” He hollered exuberantly.
“What did you get?” wondered Ethan, spewing out some water.

“I get why I love you! Why I’m attracted to you, and no other guy. It took me this long to realize it, but I get it now!”

“So, tell me,” Ethan smiled charmingly, “What is it that you get?”

“It’s not because of what you did. It’s because of who you are…or rather, of who we are! You were the All American stud who loved books just as much as football. I was the popular guy who hung out with not-so-popular kids. Only when you came into my life did I realize it was fine to be both a jock and a nerd. I knew you would understand me because we were one and the same. That’s why I’m attracted to you. You are my soul-mate! Together, we make one great pair of…of…what do we make a great pair of?”

“Cool Fools?” Ethan suggested.
“Exactly!” The two young men laughed, “We are such cool fools!”

Ethan leaned forward, pulling Woody’s face toward his. Their lips merged as if for the first time ever. Soft, gentle, warm, and tender. The water hadn’t offered anything new to their relationship. It had only reaffirmed what they already believed, that through thick and thin, through highs and lows, they would always be together.

The couple submerged once again. In their wide open eyes, they took in the beauty of their faces. In their encompassing arms, they tightly held the marvel of their bodies. Through their locked lips, they exchanged the love and life they would always share. All around, water threatened to pull them apart, but the lovers were suspended together…through the current of time, through the elements of nature, through whatever that would come their way, they would always be suspended together. In the hell that surrounded them, they found a little piece of heaven all for themselves.

***Thank you all very much for following the trials and tribulations of Ethan and Woody's relationship. I've set up this chapter for perhaps a spinoff story with Adam and Reed. Would you be interested in reading about them? The more positive responses, the more likely I'll write it. But I still can't guarantee a spinoff. Thanks again***