Tangled - Part Sixteen

“And Derek.” He said.
My anger stepped up a few more notches.
“Well, it seems that my friends aren’t really friends at all.” I said grimly. “I can understand you and Jack going along with this but Danny?”
“He didn’t want to.” Kevin said. “But Jack talked him into it.”

“Right.” I said. I got into the car, slammed the door and started it.
“Don’t leave like this David.” He said at the window. “He needs you now more than ever. He doesn’t realize it himself but he does.”
“I need to think.” I said. “I need to get away from here right now and I need to . . I don’t know . . I just need to think! Please open the gate.”
“David, please . . !”

“Kevin, open that gate or I swear I’ll drive right through it.” I said forcefully.
I drove down the driveway and by the time I reached the gate, it was open. I turned into the road and drove for nearly a mile before I had to pull over. I jumped out of the car and puked violently into the ditch. When I had finished, I shakily returned to the car. I rested my head against the wheel and cried, great heart breaking sobs that tore at my soul. I loved Lee so much and he had betrayed my trust. We had promised each-other that we would never run from one another again and he had done just that. He had also promised that he would love me forever, no matter what and he had gone back on that too.

I sat in that car and cried myself dry of tears. Finally, the tears were spent and the anger was gone. I sat back and stared into space, my thoughts a jumble in my mind.
After a while, I made up my mind on a course of action, started the car and I drove slowly to where I needed to be.

*****FORTY-TWO : NO MATTER WHAT.

The gate was still open when I got back. I drove through it and up to the house. Kevin was sitting on the step; his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands. He looked up as I came to a stop. I got out of the car and slowly walked up to him. He stood and smiled, a slow knowing smile.

“I knew you’d come back.” He said softly. “I gave you twenty minutes. You did it in fifteen.”
“I love him, Kevin.” I said simply.

“Yes.” He said. “Yes you do and you could no more leave him than I could.”
“Tell me one thing.” I asked. “Why?”

“David.” He began. “He was terrified that you’d reject him; that you’d no longer want him because of his blindness and because he’s no longer the good looking guy you fell in love with. The thought of that rejection was too much for him. He would rather be dead to you than live through that, so he made his choice. I told him that it was the wrong thing to do but he was adamant. He regrets it now but he’s prepared to live with it. I still think he’s wrong.”

“Surely that choice should have been mine and not his?” I asked.
“Yes, it should have been and that’s what I told him but he wouldn’t listen. You know how stubborn he can be.” He said. “And he was afraid you’d choose to leave him and he couldn’t bear that.”
“It wouldn’t have been what I would have chosen to do.” I said.

“I know and I told him that, but still . . !” He paused. “Go to him David. He loves you so much and he needs you right now. More than he knows himself. Go to him and for God’s sake, take him home!”
I moved towards the terrace door.
“And David.” Kevin said softly and I stopped. “Be gentle with him; he’s hurting real bad.”

I left Kevin in the hall and went out onto the terrace. Lee was standing at the railing, facing the ocean, his head raised slightly. I could tell that he was listening to the distant lapping of the waves on the sand. I moved to the railing beside him and looked out over the ocean. It was quite beautiful, the sun cast a golden light over the gentle swell. Lee tilted his head in my direction and the sun glinted off his dark glasses.

Now that I was close to him, I could see that the scar on his face began on his right temple and went straight across his eyes under the glasses and then out onto his left temple. Then it did a right angle turn and ran down his face to the corner of his mouth. It was not as bad as Kevin had led me to believe. It had healed well and was now just a thin white ragged line. Then I remembered his face in the car just after the accident and I remembered how he’d looked. His face seemed to be gone and I realized that what I’d seen was just a sheet of blood covering it.

“Kevin?” He said softly. I kept silent. “He’s gone hasn’t he?” He paused briefly and then continued. “Just as well I suppose. He probably hates me right now but I still love him. I always will.” Here his voice broke slightly.
“But I can live with that.” He continued. “I made a choice, the wrong one I know; and I have to live with it now.”

My heart was breaking, aching for him and I couldn’t trust my voice so I said nothing.
He was silent for a moment and then sighed heavily.

“You know?” He said. “I think I’ll go east. You know, to the east coast. Get away completely, clear across the country. David will . . get over it . . over me . . in time he’ll come to see that it was for the best . . !”
He let out a small stifled sob but then quickly controlled himself. He was a master of control; I’d learnt that from experience.

“Yes!” He said more firmly. “East, I think. It’ll make a nice change.”

He turned and looked out over the ocean.
“It would make it awfully difficult for me to see you.” I said softly.
He gasped and spun to face me.

“David!” he breathed.
“Of course I could go with you, but that would mean I’d have to sell The Gallery and I don’t really want to do that. Besides, I like it where we are.”

He kept silent his face frozen.

“And then there’s Jack and Danny to consider. And Kevin and Derek. I hardly think they’ll like the idea of us packing up and moving off clear across the country.” I said calmly.
“What are you doing back here?” He asked, his voice shaking.
“Oh, didn’t I mention it? Sorry!” I said. “I’ve come to take you home.”
“Home?” He whispered.

“Yes home!” I said. “You know, where you live? Your apartment?”
“But . . Davey . . !” He began.
“But what?” I said, cutting him off.

He was silent and I noticed a couple of tears run down his cheeks to the corners of his mouth.
“No matter what! Remember?” I said gently. “I love you Lee, no matter what. I made you that promise and I’m certainly not going to go back on it now.”
“I don’t . . I don’t want your pity.” He said softly.

“I don’t pity you.” I said. “I’m a little angry at you for putting me through what you did. I’m upset that you didn’t trust me enough to let me make my own choices and maybe I’m a bit annoyed at the fact that you ran from me when you promised not to. But that doesn’t matter anymore; I’ll get over it. The important thing right now is that I love you and I can only hope that you still feel the same about me.”

“Oh God . . !” He breathed. “I’m so sorry Davey; so, so sorry. I love you so much and I was so afraid and I didn’t know what to do and I’m such a mess and . . !”
“Shh!” I said cutting him off, my fingers on his lips. “It’s okay; really it’s fine.”

I caressed his lips with my fingertips and then I ran my hand up the side of his face and gripped the arm of the dark glasses. I started to remove them but he quickly stayed my hand with his.
“No!” He said grimly. “No, don’t!”
“I’m going to have to look at you sometime.” I said. “You can’t go the rest of your life hiding behind these.”

He slowly released my hand and I removed the glasses from his face. I steeled myself and looked into his eyes. My heart wept silently at what I saw. The glorious green fire that had been his and his alone, was gone forever; extinguished. His eyes were a twisted mass of white scar tissue. Whatever had torn his face open in the accident had done a good job on his eyes as well.

I cupped his face in my hands and sighed.
“You are so beautiful.” I said. “You will always be beautiful.”
“Davey, I have fingers, I can feel it.” He said. “I don’t have to have eyes to know what I look like now.”

“Then look at me with your fingers.” I said. “I’m not who I used to be either. Neither of us is who we used to be.”

He reached out hesitantly and then he traced the contours of my face with his fingertips. He paused on the scar on my cheek and explored it carefully. Then his hands went into my hair and he ran his fingers through my short locks.
“You’ve cut your hair.” He whispered. He felt my nod. “And you have a . . you have a scar.”

“Yep.” I said. “So you see, we make quite a pair. Damaged goods, you and I. Who else would want either of us now? So maybe we should just save everyone the trouble and stick together.”
He smiled slowly.

“Nothing ever gets you down, does it Davey?” He said softly.
“Nope.” I said. “Remember how I badgered you when we first met even though you were a class ‘A’ asshole? Remember how I wouldn’t let up until I made you love me?”

And then he started to laugh. A small gentle chuckle at first, which slowly became a series of full throated guffaws. I had an idea that it was the first time he’d laughed in a very long time and he reveled in it. I laughed along with him. It was cathartic. All the sorrow and pain that we’d both suffered seemed to melt away, leaving us fresh and new; ready to begin again. We clung to each-other and let the tension of the past months drop off us.

Finally, when we’d laughed ourselves out and the tears were streaming down our faces, I reached up and put my hands into his hair and I pulled his face to mine and I kissed him. His arms went around my waist tightly and he returned my kiss urgently. His tongue twisted against mine eagerly and he moaned softly. He released my lips and sighed. He held onto me tightly and I pulled his head down onto my shoulder.

“God I’ve missed you.” He whispered. “I’ve missed you so much.”
“And I’ve missed you, more than you’ll ever know.” I said, remembering the pain I’d felt when I had thought that he was dead.
“Come.” I finished. “Let’s go home.”

To be continued...