Sunshine and Roses

Lowry desperately tried to stay away from Justin. As the weeks passed swiftly, joining summer to fall in a sweeping swirl of color and autumn smells, the monk came to accept that he was physically attracted to the ex-mercenary. The hunger to be held, to be kissed again, continued to multiply within Ray Lowry until he could no longer stay away. His upbringing, the tenets he had been taught, that had been drilled inside him his whole life, fought with what he craved. It was tearing him apart, that vast contradiction between desire and belief.
He rode out to Justin. When he saw the other man ride out, he followed him. William Justin went to an old, stone cottage. It was deserted. No one had lived in it for over ten years. Lowry dismounted, went into the cottage. Justin turned, stared at him in shock and then in cool detachment.
"Why are you here?"
"I want. . ." He began to shiver violently. Wrapping his arms about his cold body, he whispered, "I need. . ." His eyes said what his lips could not.
"I am a man, " Justin said roughly. "I know you are innocent, but you cannot play with another's emotions like this, especially when it involves sexual involvement." He watched the embarrassed flush overcome the pale features of Ray Lowry. "There comes a point when a man cannot turn back. I came close to reaching that point the last time you were near me. I am unable to guarantee that this time I will be able to control myself. Perhaps you should go."
Uncertain, a little apprehensive, Lowry murmured, "Nay."
"I am unable to guarantee that this time I will be able to control myself if you stay. I do not want to cause you distress, but I am human and I desire you very much. Do you understand what I am saying?"
"Yes."
"Do you understand the implications?"
"I do. . .Will. . ."
"What about your faith?"
"I do not understand why I feel these things, but I do. I have pryesd for years but the feeling inside me grows. . .it does not lessen. I have not stopped believing in God."
"There is no need to give up your faith."
"I love my Lord."
"I know. Perhaps God wants you to be who you are, just as you are."
"I do not know."
"Are you staying?"
"Yes."
"Then you must make the first move."
"I do not know what you want of me."
"What is it you want?"
"I want. . .I want you to hold me. I want you to kiss me. I want. . .to feel what you and Sean felt when you were. . ." He flushed dark red. ". . .In his cottage. I saw you. . .I heard. . ."
"I could go to you, hold you, kiss you, but I want to make sure you want to stay. You are so innocent, you cannot possibly comprehend how difficult it is for a man to pull back when he's fully aroused and I am nearly there already."
Lowry searched the other man's face for a brief moment, then turned, pulled the latch closed on the door. He hesitated, his back turned and then he pulled off his robe. He stood there even then, shivering, listening to the sharp intake of Justin's breath. Lowry turned slowly. His shaft was beginning to harden.
"You are beautiful, Ray Lowry." He struggled to remain where he was. The monk must come to him.
Lowry walked slowly to Justin, listed his hand. he caressed the soldier's face. Justin groaned, closing his eyes, tightening his hands into fists. "Do I do this to you?"
"That and more, " Justin admitted in a strained voice. "Ray!" His eyes were darkened with what he was feeling.
"Touch me, " Lowry begged.
"Let me undress first." Justin stepped back, removed his clothing. They dropped without care to the dirt and stone floor. His penis was already engorged with passion. Lowry, suddenly shy, unsure again, turned his head. Justin tilted it back. "Nay, look at me." The monk did. Thought it was a dark pink, Justin watched in gladness as the change flowed over Lowry's face, moving rapidly from timorous to desire. "Take my hand, place it on your body. Show me where you want me to touch you." 
Lowry did. At first, he kept those fingers on his chest but as awakening continued, the movements went lower until Justin's hand was caressing Lowry's shaft. Lowry's breath was ragged. A sound issued from his throat. It was almost a whimper. His cock rose, hard and burning, reddened. The veins became prominent. Unable to control his reactions, Lowry began to shake badly. Justin bent down, took the throbbing penis into his mouth. Lowry cried out and came instantly. Collapsing against the other man, the monk battled to keep his sobs silent, under restraint. Justin held him. The love he felt for the slimmer man surged upward, nearly over powered him.
"I love you."
Lowry looked into gentle, blue eyes. His own were wet with moisture. "Will. . ." The words were too many, too full of emotions to speak aloud. He didn't have to. Justin understood every single thing the other man did not say.