Sunshine and Roses

Months crept by. . .winter came and went, spring, summer. . . The pain grew. It should have lessened but it did not. Lowry pryesd for guidance. He pleaded with God for release. He begged for forgiveness. Love to him remained a living, breathing man called Justin. Lowry did not understand. How many sleepless nights passed? How many times during the day did he stop and stare blankly at his work? his food had no taste. The young man began to loose weight again. Dark circles appeared and remained.
Mordechai stopped him at his work one day and said, "I am going to tell you what I would tell my own son if I had been blessed with one, which I was not." Lowry looked up, listless, hollowed eyed. "Real love is a gift. Not everyone is granted that priceless offering. Do you love him?" Lowry flushed darkly and looked down at his hands. "Everyone must face God in his own way, but can you face him knowing you threw away his gift?"
"I cannot, Jacob."
"Why?"
"It is not right."
"Because a group of men got together and decided it was evil? It was not always looked upon as wrong, but I will not get into religious beliefs. Now is not the time. You should listen to me. I am older and I know what I am saying. Your soul is dying, Ray."
"I pray constantly."
"For what? Do you ask God to destroy that love he has given you? Do you love our Great Creator so much you would shun his path for you?"
"But it is not from him!"
"How do you know? Are you so perfect your mind and God's are the same?"
"no, but. . ."
"The men who lead you are not so flawless. Name me one who is so clean and pure he talks face to face with God."
"You know I cannot do that."
"Yet you listen to them and not the what God has put in your own heart. My son, if he had been given to me, would not have been so stupid, may God be so pleased. You destroy yourself. Is that not a sin?" Lowry rubbed the back of his aching neck. "Thou shall not bear false witness! You are taught that?"
"Yes."
"Denying the truth, is that not bearing false witness?"
It took a moment, but. . ."Yes."
"When you are with him, how do you feel?"
"Beautiful."
"You sit here denying your love and let your soul die when you could be with him and allow your spirit to thrive? I do not understand you. I loved once, like you love this Justin person. When Rachel died, I wanted to join her. My very being lamented for her. I wanted to shrivel up, blow away like the dust. I loved, but even now, I am only half alive. Your soul mourns but Justin is still living."
Lowry covered his weary face with his hands. He couldn't think. Why couldn't he think? Why was it so hard to do what was right.
"If you were on you bed this minute, dying, what would be the last thought on your mind?" Lowry only shook his head. "If this Justin man were dying and sent for you, would you go to him?"
"Yes." There was no hesitation, no feeling of wrongness.
"If the doctor told you Justin only had one month left to live, would you stay with him?"
"Yes."
"Two months?"
"Yes."
"Six months? A year? How do you know how much time you have left? Are you God you can decide the length of time you spend here on Earth?" 
Lowry stood up. "I understand what you are trying to tell me."
"And?"
"Are you able to get another worker?"
"God provides."
"Mordechai, what if he does not want me? He said, when he left. . ."
"What if? Am I God to know such things? You go. If he closes the door in your face, you come back here. Would I turn down such a worker as you? I should have horns like a goat for being so stupid. Go. . .go!"