Sunshine and Roses

Her eyes were like a ferret, Lowry decided and then grew ashamed at his unchristian thought. <May God forgive me but they are.> Her eyes moved up and down him and she smiled faintly in salaciousness. <She seems to be devouring me, stripping me. I cannot possibly be seeing what I am seeing.> Yet, her eyes made him feel dirty.
"This is Edith, my wife, " Sir Guy said as he introduced his newly acquired wife to the servants. One by one, he introduced those who worked for him to his new bride. She stood tall, ultra-slim, regal. Her pure black hair was worn bundled securely in her snood. Her eyes gleamed in disdain as she met each one.
"Are you sure you want a monk working here?" she asked softly. "King Henry seems so set against the Church."
"He has not banned Catholicism yet, and the children love Brother Raymond." He took his wife's hand. "Come on, I would like you to meet the children."
"I do not like her, " Mary said a week later as she scowled into her cup of milk. "Her eyes are bad."
Lowry did not like her either. <Pardon me, my dear Lord, but I do not!> Still it would not due to ease the transition for Mary. "It will take a while for you to adjust to her."
"She calls my painting pointless. She says only a witless fool would waste time doing that."
Lowry had heard her arguing with Sir Guy over that very thing. "Your father has not said anything, Cedric."
"He will, " the boy said darkly. "He gives over to her on everything."
"Why is it wrong for you to teach me, Brother Raymond?" Mary asked.
"It is not wrong, " Lowry answered, puzzled.
"She says it is. She says I should have a woman taking care of me. She says it does not look right. Even though you are a monk, you are a man. Are you a man?"
"Of course he is a man!" Cedric said scornfully.
Lowry did not smile. He treated her question with respect. "I am a man."
"Is it wrong for you to teach me?"
"i do not think so."
"Nor I!" the boy exclaimed angrily.
Mary's lower lip trembled. "You will not leave me, will you?"
"As long as your father wants me to teach you, I shall."
"I do not like her, " Mary said sorrowfully. Tears rolled down her cheeks. She met his eyes with her own forlorn ones.
"Nay, little one, do not weep so." Lowry picked her up, sat down. He settled her on his lap, wiped her tears gently away. She cuddled against him.
"Oh, I do love you, Brother Raymond, " she murmured softly.
He stroked her golden curls. "And I love you, Mary."
"How sweet, " Edith said from the doorway. "Brother Raymond, may I see you out here in the hallway?"
"Yes, Mrs. Hugh." Lowry settled Mary in the chair and went out into the hallway with his employer's wife. 
Edith shut the door firmly. "You seem to like the children."
"I love the children. They are very dear to me." He felt tense, awkward. All week long, from the moment Sir Guy had left on emergency business in London, she had found moments to talk to him, alone, and each time, the woman had touched him, either patting his shoulder or touching his hand. It was clearly sexual. Of that, Lowry had no doubt what-so-ever. When Justin had done it, it had awakened feelings of desire. When this woman did it, it made him feel soiled.
She fingered his cowl. "What would you do if you had to leave here?"
"I do not know. I would probably seek employment elsewhere."
"With children?"
"Mayhap."
Her hand rested on his shoulder. "You are very handsome."
"Thank you." He inserted his hands into his sleeves, gripped his arms. She reminded him of the men who had visited his adopted father.
"Is it true a man must take a vow of celibacy when he enters the priesthood?"
"Yes."
"Is it true a man must be pure when he goes in?"
"Nay, but many are."
"Were you?"
"Mrs. Hugh, I do not think we should be speaking thusly." He took a step away but she moved and blocked his exit. He would have to push past her to get away, and since that meant touching her, he hesitated. He did not know how Sir Guy would react to his moving his wife bodily out of the way.
She licked her lips, swept her eyes over his body. The gleam of lust in her ebony eyes became more pronounced. "My husband will be in London for another week. He wanted me to go to him but I told him I wished to remain here. Do you know why?"
"Nay, Mrs. Hugh." <Liar!> his conscious screamed. <You know what she means!> Sickness welled up inside him.
Her hand moved across his chest. Lowry stepped backwards, shocked, disturbed. "I want you."
"Mrs. Hugh, please, you must not do this. It is not right!"
"Many things are done that are not exemplary, Brother Raymond." She plyesd with his hair but he tightened, visibly reacting disfavorably to her touch. Anger flashed in her dark eyes.
"Please, you must not do this!"
"You may be a monk but you are still a man. You cannot possibly think I would believe you have never wanted anyone, that you are not capable of servicing me."
"You must not ask this of me! I cannot do that!"
"Cannot or will not?"
Lowry sighed. The look of anger in her eyes disturbed him. "I must not." <I do not like your touch. I do not like your nearness. God help me, I do not like you!> Her fingers traced his lower lip. He jerked backward, pale and horrified. "You must not do this!"
"You are very naive if you think this is shocking. I could tell you tales I have seen, from the homes I have been in." Her eyelids lowered until she stared at him through slits. "I have heard tales of your father. I will not believe he kept his affairs concealed from you. You cannot possibly be as innocent as you are pretending to be."
"Madam, whether or not I am untouched is not in question here. You are a married woman. Even if I were not a monk, I would not have physical knowledge of you. The sanctity of marriage should halt this desire within you. It is against everything the Church teaches!" <So is what you and Justin do, > his conscious taunted. Guilt, so long ago vanquished, so long ago forgotten, returned to mock him. It was like a darkness that hovered within touching range of him, a shadowy, heavy cloud that slowly grew oppressive.
"I do not enjoy being turned down."
"I must! It is not right." <Right?> his mind demanded. <You stand before her and tell her this thing she wants is wrong yet you have copulation with Justin. What a hypocrite you are! A man of the Church? What would the Holy Father say if he knew?> The guilt grew into shame.
"You will regret telling me no." Suddenly, she smiled. "I will give you two days to change your mind."
"Two days, three weeks, a year, Madam, the answer will remain the same: I will not break this law of God. I will not do that to Sir Guy. He has been very good to me."
"I can make a great deal of trouble for you. How much do want to stay with the children?"
"Very much, but you are already aware of that, yet, I cannot change my mind." His eyes showed the sickness that welled up within him.
"You will regret telling me no." With coldness in her eyes, she left him.

It was another week and a half before Sir Guy returned to his home. It took less than an hour before Lowry and another servant, Jonathan Mort, were called before Sir Guy. The duke's eyes were filled with abhorrence. His jaws were tight. Behind him, Edith stood in triumph.
"My wife tells me she discovered the two of you. . ." He swallowed his disgust. "She tells me you two are lovers." Sir Guy stood up, walked toward Lowry. "I trusted you with the care of my children! How dare you bring this. . .this. . .unnaturalness into my home."
"I am not Jonathan's lover, " Lowry said calmly.
"He lies as well, Guy. How can you trust him?" Edith said in silky condemnation. "Think of your son."
"God, my son. If either of you have touched him, I will kill both of you!"
"I am not his lover, " Lowry repeated calmly. "And you know I would not harm your children. I love them." His eyes sought the woman's and she lowered hers. There been no remorse in those black eyes, but there had been jubilation.
"I am to wed Sarah!" Jonathan said in shock. "She is going to have my child! I am not. . .I would not. . .!" Horror twisted his features. "I would not touch a man!"
Sir Guy did not believe them. The way his wife described what she had seen had been too vivid, too realistic. She could not have made something like that up. His eyes raked Lowry. "I trusted you. I loved you as a brother and you do this to me."
"I have done nothing, Sir Guy."
"Are you saying my wife lied?"
"I am suggesting she misunderstood something she saw." <Lie? Yes, she lied. I pity you, sir. You have brought a viper into your home and this woman will destroy you.>
"I caught them in the woods, naked, Guy, and the monk was down on his hands and his knees! That filthy man. . ." and she pointed to Jonathan. . ."was squealing like a pig as he. . ." She shuddered delicately. "I came near to fainting. To think that they would do something like that out in the open. What if the children had come upon them?"
Sir Guy closed his eyes as he waited to regain his composure. "Both of you will leave this house this very moment. And you. . . sir. . ." He choked on the word. "You will not see Mary and cedric again! And I swear, if you try to take another post where there are children, I will see that you are fired."
"I did not do what she said, and I would not harm your children."
Sir Guy backhanded him. Lowry stood in silence, wiping the blood from his mouth as the other man harangued him. When the duke had stopped, turned from him, only then did Lowry go up to his room, pack his few belongings and leave the house.
Where would he go? What would he do?
The thought of going to Justin entered his mind and was briskly pushed aside. It had been wrong, that love he had felt for William Justin, wrong, immoral. This was God's way of telling him. Lowry had enticed the mercenary, compelled him to sin but that did not mean he should continue to do so. It was a double evil encouraging another to transgress with him. Therefore, he would leave.
The thoughts returned: Where would he go? What would he do?